This chapter is dedicated to all my new readers and followers.

crazycupcake124
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ZainabKassim

Chapter 19

Moving Ahead.

Whenever I See my parents smiling, my heart stutters.

(Translation of above picture)

* * *

She sat on the single bed, glancing around the room.

Her heart thudded faster, when her gaze fell on three of her black and beige trolley bags that stood neatly against the wall, a few cardboard boxes were stacked beside the bags.

She wiped away a few stray tears that escaped her eyes.

Even though she was moving in with her mother willingly, she still felt so sad and emotional, then again...why wouldn't she? This had been her home from birth, she spent her childhood in this home, she had the best memories in this house, she had the most loving parents as well as siblings, she went through her teenage phase in this house and she always thought that she would leave from this very house, only when she was married off to her husband...whoever he would be.

She sighed.

As much as it hurt to leave her family, after knowing about her mother and the sufferings and hardships she faced, after knowing about her health, she couldn't just let her live alone now, could she?

What kind of a daughter would she be, if she left her mother to stay on her own, even after knowing how dearly she loved her and how eager she was for her to finish her last year of school, so that she could finally be reunited with her daughter!

Her mother's feelings aside, she felt it was the right thing to do and she really really wanted to cover up for the years that they had not spent together.

She walked over to the mirror, making sure her face was clear of any signs of crying.

She didn't want her family to think she was being forced to take this big step, neither did she want them to think she was doing this unwillingly. She wanted to assure them that this was her own will and she was very happy with her decision.

She slipped on her plain black, flare abaya, then wrapped a burgundy scarf around her head, securing it with pins. She then slipped on plain black pumps.

Satisfied with her outfit, she stepped out of the room, heading to the living room, where her family sat, sadness apparent on their faces.

She blinked back her own tears.

This was harder than she thought it would be.

"Assalamualaykum."

She greeted, trying hard not to cry once again.

"Wa alaykumsalam. "

They greeted back in unision.

Lutfiya mustered a small smile. Luqmaan gave her a sad look.
Leyya glanced at her with tear filled eyes and Laeeq refused to look at her, he looked at everything, besides her.

She sighed, sitting down besides him.

"Guys! All of you are making me feel so guilty, like I made the worst decision."

Lutfiya smiled softly.

"No my dear! Don't think like that. We are proud of your decision , while we were expecting this to happen one day, we naturally do feel sad. After all you're our daughter as well... the house is going to feel so empty without you.."

Her voice cracked, her facade of being strong shattered all at once, as fat tears rolled down her eyes.

She knew that Ruqayya had a greater right over her, but Yusaira was her own daughter as much as she was her sisters. She had breastfed her and weened her, she had stayed up with her at nights when she was sick, she had shown her the same love and affection she had shown Laeeq, they had grown up like twins.

She had wtinessed her very first baby tooth, when she first sat, her attempts at crawling, then finally crawling, her penguin steps as she learnt how to walk, and then proceeded to walking. Her cutest moments and worst tantrums, her toddler years, her first day at school, her very first trophy and all the others that followed, her teenage years, her happiness and depression, her final year of school.She had watched her transforming from the cute little baby to a beautiful, loving, caring, soft spoken, woman.

How could she not cry? How could she not feel upset that she was leaving after so many years of living with them, but it was only fair. Ruqayya had the right to make up for all those missed years with her daughter.

Yusaira ran into Lutfiya's embrace, sobbing on her shoulder.

After they had composed themselves, Lutfiya pulled back, wiping away Yusairas tears.

" You may be Ruqayya's biological daughter, but you will still remain my daughter as well. You have a special place in my heart and I will miss you so much, Yusi."

Lutfiya pecked her forehead gently.

Yusaira smiled.

"Ofcourse, you will always remain my mummy. Infact my special mum."

Leyya crashed into Yusaira, pleading.

"Please don't go Yusi, do you really have to go! I promise I won't be jealous of you anymore."

Yusaira laughed.

" I have to go my doll, but I promise I will visit whenever I can."

"You better!"

Laeeq spoke for the first time, since the morning.

He stood up, embracing his sister.

He kissed her scarf clad head, smiling at her.

"I'm so proud of you Yusi, you're a strong girl and even though we're going to miss you like hell, you've made the right decision. Aunty Ruqayya needs you and your biological parents come before anyone else."

Yusaira nodded.

Luqmaan stood up.

"Right, enough of this emotional stuff. s
Stop before you all make me cry!"

Yusaira giggled.

"Go and help your sister with her stuff."

Luqmaan ordered Laeeq and Leyya, who obediently complied.

All three of them made their way to the room, carrying the boxes to the car.

Yusaira wheeled the last bag out of the house, hugging her siblings for the last time, she along with Luqmaan and Lutfiya jumped into the car, driving away.

Laeeq and Leyya stood outside the house, watching as the car disappeared from their sight.

Laeeq sighed.

"Man! I'm so going to miss that goofball."

Leyya hugged him, bursting into tears once again.

"Me too! Did she have to go!!"

She sobbed, while he patted her head, trying to soothe her.

"Yes she had to and it would be selfish if we stopped her from going."

Surely he would miss her, but he was extremely happy that she finally found her peace and contentment, and that all her questions were finally answered.

The Ahmed family gathered in their parents room, obeying the command of their father. He had ordered that the whole family besides Suhaib ofcourse gather in his room at 8 p.m sharp.

Suhaib was barely around for the past year, Luqmaan had become tired of scolding and shouting him. He had attempted preventing him from the bad companions he mingled with, but to no avail.

Suhaib somehow or another managed to sneak out of the house and meet them, and unlike the controlled person he was initially, now things had spiralled out of control. He had been heavily influenced by his friends for the past year, and it never went unnoticed by anyone in the household.

Luqmaan sat on the bed, his legs stretched out infront of him, he leaned against the headboard.

Zainab sat beside him, a worried look on her face. The dark circles beneath her eyes a sign that she had not slept peacefully for a long time.

Luqmaan looked rather pale, his face had become thin and his cheekbones almost jutted out due to the amount of weight he had lost in the past couple of months. His worry and concern for his beloved son, had led him to the condition he was currently in, weak, fatigued and in pain, both physically and emotionally. He had been admitted into  hospital twice in one year already.

Zainab and Luqmaan had initially decided not to tell their kids what his problem was, but his health had taken a turn for the worst and he feared that his last moments in this world was very near, so they had decided that the kids needed to know, but he wouldn't tell Suhaib, for all the pain he caused him and his mother, he didn't deserve to know anything anymore.

He smiled weakly at his children who had gathered in the room, even Zahra and his son in law were summoned for their meeting.

Zahra sat at the foot of the bed, worried out of her mind. One look at her parents and she sensed that the news that would be delivered was definitely serious.

Luqmaan sipped the water, then placed it on the pedestal, unsure how to break the news to his children. Finally plucking up the courage, he began.

"My beloved children. Allah has blessed us with many many happy years together, naturally like every other family we've had our arguments and fights, but we've also had memorable moments and for that we have to always be grateful. Allah SWT has placed us in this world for a limited amount of time, we are not here to remain forever, our final, destination and eternal abode is Jannah. We belong to Allah and to Allah we will return one day."

Luqmaan paused, looking at each of his kids one by one.

Expressions of fright, confusion and panick covered their faces.

He was afraid to continue, but he had to, they needed to know.

" All this time, your mother and I had told you I was admitted in hospital only because of stress, while that is not a lie, it's not the complete truth either. "

The kids all gasped, looking at their parents with shocked expressions.

" I have a severe heart problem my dear children, and I've had two heart attacks in the past year, too much of stress is not at all good for my health and if something tragic or serious has to happen, my heart can fail.
Suhaib has caused me alot of stress recently and I don't know how my beloved son slipped from my fingers like this."

Luqmaan broke down, burying his hands in his face.

Zainab patted his back, trying to calm him down.

Tears rolled down Zahra's face as she took in the news.

The rest of her siblings were stunned into silence.

Pure rage filled her entire body, she could actually feel her neck and the tips of her ears heating up due to her anger.

How dare Suhaib put their parents through so much of pain! She would make sure she stayed for the night, she would stay up until he returned home, she would twist his ears and drag him by his feet, she would even give him a few shots with the frying pan, she could practically do anything at this point, she was willing to do anything that would  knock some sense into him.

"Surely the heart problem could not have escalated to such  a stage within  merely a year!"

Taeeba spoke, her voice cracking.

Zainab shook her head.

"We have been told that it was built up stress over the years. About  three or four years ago , your father used to say that his left arm is feeling numb and that he gets pains in his chest, I told him many times to have it checked out, but being the stubborn man he is, he refused. "

Finally able to compose himself, Luqmaan spoke up.

"Every condition is from Allah, whether sickness or health, whether by a tredagy or naturally, whether young or old, we all are going to die one day."

Zahra shook her head,what her father said was true, but in Sha Allah he wouldn't die so soon, In Sha Allah he would have many more memorable years  and hopefully he would witness Suhaib returning to his former self as well.

As much as she denied it and as much as she dreaded the death of anyone in her family, there was a small voice in the back of her mind reminding her that death is inevitable, you can be in the most fortified fort, yet if it is time for your soul to be claimed, your soul will be drawn even from the most guarded kingdom. Death is something no person can flee from. Then a thought crossed  her mind, she was imagining life without one of her family members, yet what guarantee did she have for her very own life? She didn't even know if she would live longer than her parents or if she would pass away first. Her only wish was that she must pass away with Imaan, with  the kalima moist upon her lips.