Peter liked screeching. Not in like an 'I-appreciate-interrupting-people-and-being-annoying' way but more of an 'I-am-having-a-very-difficult-time-right-now-and-need-to-screech.'

Peter was always having a difficult time and, almost always, needed some therapeutic screeching. Wade, on the other hand, was the human embodiment of 'Do I really need to give a fuck right now?' The answer was usually yes, but did Wade care? The answer is no.

It was a lovely day, only 10 am on a Wednesday and Peter was already ready to screech. The Academic Decathlon team was going on a field trip. Peter couldn't help but let out a quiet, "Eeeeee." Very quiet, very discreet. Only MJ noticed, but MJ noticed everything so Peter considered that a massive win.

Usually, Peter loved field trips, it was a very wonderful way to learn absolutely nothing. This field trip was going to be hell though, now it would be monumentally worse if the trip was to Stark Industries, but it wasn't, so Peter wasn't going to worry. The field trip was to a newer company, Harmony Industries, which was working on Green Energy.

Nothing about this seems terrible, you may think. Yet Peter was still mentally screeching.

Wade. It all came down to Wade. The mercenary had a job that week, the job was at Harmony Industries. According to Wade's employer, the company's head was using the company to manufacture weapons. It was kind of like a reverse Stark Industries. Anyway, Wade had asked Peter to help him sneak in, but Peter said he had school. If he bumped into Wade the man would think he was coming to help. Peter was gonna really screech. Loudly screech. It was going to be a very impressive screech.

Peter took the permission slip and shoved it in his backpack, praying it rips in half so May couldn't sign it. It didn't rip. May did sign it. Peter screeched. A lot.

He fell out of his bed Thursday morning, that was the indicator that the rest of the day was gonna be awful. Peter could feel the terribleness of the whole day in his bones, or that might be because he swung into a wall last night. He decided he liked the terrible day explanation more than the actual explanation.

He made it to school on time, which would be nice, if it was a regular day. This time he had to get on the bus, which he had plenty of time to do because of his perfect timing. He sat down next to Ned. Neither MJ nor Ned knew Wade and Peter didn't want them to know Wade, that would be a little too much.

MJ got on the bus and shortly after she arrived at the bus left. Flash had followed the kindergartener's rules of, 'Big kids sit in the back'. Peter didn't think he realized exactly how uncomfortable the back is. Also, it seems, Flash did not realize that the only reason the older kids sit on the back is to keep away from the younger kids. Some of them are really very loud.

It wasn't a long bus ride, maybe 20-25 minutes, Peter used this time to attempt not hyperventilating. It almost worked but then Ned asked about patrol last night and Peter couldn't help attempting a nice big gulp of air.

The bus came to a stop in front of the big glass building, Peter could practically see Wade jumping out of one of those windows, glass spraying everywhere. Luckily that was all in Peter's head and there was absolutely no Deadpool insight.

The class headed into the building and got their visitors passes. They were lanyards that hung around their necks, like very tacky necklaces. Flash was showing his lanyard off to his cronies apparently forgetting that they had the same exact thing on their own necks.

Peter couldn't help but compare this company with Stark Industries. This place had some pretty crappy security, he could see some employees speaking with the secretaries about needing a new lanyard. Stark employees had individual badges and if you lost it you were basically screwed, Happy wouldn't let you in unless FRIDAY recognized your biometrics.

The woman doing their tour seemed very apathetic like she really didn't give a crap about her job. Her name tag said her name was L. Matthews, she told us to call her Ms. Matthews. All Peter could think was, Matthew Michael Murdock. It was quite amusing to compare this uninterested and uncaring woman to the man who likes to remove raccoons from dumpsters so they don't get squished when the compactors come around.

Now don't get him wrong, Peter was still freaking out about possibly seeing Wade. But it was much more amusing to not think about it and to just compare things to whatever pops into his head. He had definitely forgotten his ADD meds.

They went through security, the only thing that happened was someone flagging MJ for her bellybutton piercing. All in all, it was uneventful, exactly what Peter wanted. No one should draw any attention to them, ever. The whole team should just stay quiet, ask polite questions, and stay out of trouble. That was a nice little dream, but that was all it was a dream.

Ms. Matthews brought them to an R&D lab, it was labeled 'R&D 14'. Peter though their labels were a bit dull. The lab he worked at was called 'Lab: Bazinga!' It was named by their lab supervisor, Dahlia Abbasi, who was kind of a mess. She was cool though and let Peter do a lot of experiments that Tony would never let him do.

Ms. Matthews let them go into the lab and the people working there got up and showed them a little robot they had made. Peter was feeling very underwhelmed. This whole lab seemed ridiculous like were they even working on anything life-changing? Probably not. I mean seriously? Peter was currently working on 2 things, a smaller battery for the new Stark Phone and a dissolvable bandage that can be applied like nail polish. Peter was very proud of the last one, it had taken him a pretty long time to get the formula to the point it was at currently. And these guys were just making little robots? With no AI? What a waste.

Peter sat and totally did not listen to anything these people were saying. It was all stuff he learned, like, the first week of the Stark internship.

"This is actually really interesting, Peter," Ned whispered to the daydreaming teenager.

Peter shrugged, "I didn't take my meds, so nothing is really interesting anymore." Ned seemed fine with that and went back to listening to the adults talk, leaning his shoulder out for Peter to lay on if he needed. Peter needed it.

The presentation went on for a couple more minutes. It was really boring. Peter might have fallen asleep for a second or two. None of that needed to be discussed. What did need to be discussed was lunch, which was next on the agenda according to Ms. Matthews.

"Lunch is next." Her voice was cold and unfeeling. Peter kinda liked her. She had character, not that he was a good judge of character or anything, Ms. Matthews was just fun.

The cafeteria was big, probably bigger than the one in Stark Industries, it was kind of useless considering the food was crap. Not just to Peter's super senses but also to Ned's normal senses and MJ's slightly less normal senses.

The Academic Decathalon team talked about what they learned in 'Lab 14.' Peter just ate the shit on his plate and only complained twice. Twice was a good number of times, it was the number of friends he had so it must be an ok thing. His teammates continued to babble about the 'wonders' they saw in the lab. Peter was getting increasingly tired of rolling his eyes.

There was a bang from the other side of the room. Not a normal bang. A gun kind of bang. Peter's eyes widened as he looked towards the source of the sound.

"All right y'all motherfuckers, someone better tell me how to get into Mr. Head-Honcho's office." Fuck. It was Wade, with a semiautomatic pointed at the ceiling. Peter couldn't let him hurt anyone and, because no one was speaking up, Wade might just shoot someone.

"Alrighty look, if you're not gonna tell me then I might just have to shoot someone." DP gestured with his gun. Waving the thing around as if he was actually gonna shoot someone.

Ned was terrified, Peter could smell the sweat on him. "Aren't you friends with that guy?" MJ whispered to him.

"Uh, yes?" Peter whispered back trying to articulate that Spiderman was friends with Deadpool. Well? Peter was also friends with Deadpool. Never mind that first point. Just ignore that.

"So do something," MJ replied.

Peter stood up.

"Peter!"

"Oh my god!"

His classmates pulled at his arms, trying to force him to sit back down. Wade hadn't noticed him yet, the mercenary was more focused on the men and women in suits in the front of the room.

"You ever think that just shooting into a room filled with people could be a bad idea?" Peter spoke, very nonchalantly, after about two seconds of thought on the matter.

Wade dropped the gun and made a little happy sound, "What????"

Peter rolled his eyes, "Basically don't shoot into a room full of people because it's dumb."

"Oh, yeah that makes sense." Wade shrugged, "also, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, BABY BOY??!?!?!?!?" All Peter could hear was the excessive amount of punctuation that Wade attached to the end. Peter hated being able to hear punctuation, but it was really only Wade's punctuation. Wade had very loud punctuation.

"I'm here on a class trip." He gestured to his classmates who were hiding under and around the table. Peter felt the need to make sure Wade knew the teen wasn't there to help the mercenary with his ridiculous plan.

"To here?" Wade seemed confused, "but aren't the field trips always to Stark Industries, and then Tin Can is there and does his whole, 'Peter you're my son and are gonna take over the company when Ms. Potts eventually kills me.'" Wade adopted a very interesting voice for Tony. Deadpool's voice was normally a nice, rich, albeit a bit scratchy, man voice. His Tony voice was much higher, a bit more scratchy, and very, very obnoxious.

As to the contents of Wade's little speech thing, "I'm not even gonna pretend I know what that means." Peter laughed. His classmates looked at him like he was crazy. Peter Parker, nerd extraordinaire, laughing with Deadpool, Merc with a Mouth. That was almost as crazy as whatever DP just said.

"So, you're not here to help me get rid of the stupid boss-man?" Wade asked, picking up his, very large, gun.

"No." Peter sighed out. Wade really was a handful sometimes, but also very Dad-like. DP made sure Peter was comfortable on patrol and sometimes when it's cold, will give Spiderman a sweater or jacket to wear so he doesn't freeze. Wade is a really good friend.

"Peter, what is going on?" Sally Brant whispered from her spot at the table. Everyone in the cafeteria was lifting their heads up off the tables and the people who had hit the ground were crawling to their seats. It seems like Wade lost his scariness factor.

Peter bent down to stage whisper back, "Wade is being ridiculous."

Wade heard this, "Nuh-uh. I am the opposite of ridiculous. I am un-ridiculous."

Peter couldn't help but giggle. Wade really had no clue how insane he sounded. "Wade you sound more insane than you normally do."

"I think I'm legally insane," Wade giggled. He put away the gun, "So anyone gonna tell me what I need to know?" He addressed the group of people in suits in the front of the room. No one spoke.

Peter picked his way through the room, "If I help you do the thing will you leave them alone?"

Wade nodded so enthusiastically his head could have fallen off. Luckily for everyone around him, it did not. Peter walked out of the room with his friend, "This place has really terrible security."

Wade nodded, "I walked in through the entrance. I mean it's that bad."

Peter smiled.

The two made their way to an elevator bank, Peter pressed the 'up' button to call one of the two machines to take them to the boss-man. "So how sure are we that this guy is evil?" Peter asked.

DP shrugged, "like 5."

"Ok, so we are 5 sure's that this guy is corrupt?"

"Yep, 5."

The elevator came and they hopped in. Peter just wants it to be known here and now that elevator music should be banned. It is terrible and should die. Peter would screech at it if he could but that would garner more attention then was already drawn to them.

They got off on the 29th floor, where the boss should be. Now how did they get that information, you may ask. Ms. Matthews told the whole tour group at the beginning of the tour before Peter got bored and decided that the whole tour was a waste of his time.

DP led Peter to the office and the younger boy opened the door and the two walked in.

Peter thought it was a very nice entrance. They both looked pretty badass.

Mr. Gregor Walcott, the boss-man, thought that it was not too badass. Until he saw Wade all dressed up in his DP gear, then he practically shit his pants. "Uh, um, oh. Deadpool?"

"That's my name!" DP smiled under his mask. Wade placed his hand on Peter's shoulder, making sure Walcott knew that Peter was not to be touched.

Walcott blubbered for a bit. Peter thought he was a very pathetic man.

"Okay!" Peter spoke up over the older man's wailing, "why don't you promise to stop making weapons in your basement and we can leave?"

The man was surprised, "You're not going to kill me?"

"Do you want us to kill you?" Wade replied, rapid-fire.

"NO, OH MY GOD NO!" The man yelled.

"Ok, so promise no more weapons and we can go." Peter lifted his hand to examine his nails. He had painted them the night before with Natasha and the yellow paint was impeccable. He really needed to find a flaw with them quickly, you know, to look cool.

Walcott seemed surprised that a teenager was doing the order-giving, but he didn't say anything on the matter. "Ok, I promise."

Wade pulled out his katana. "I PROMISED, DEAR GOD. I PROMISED." Walcott sobbed. Peter didn't laugh at the 50-something-year-old man blubbering on the floor, that would be mean and Peter Parker is never mean.

"Ok, let's go." He motioned Wade to put away the sword and they left the room. Peter thought that looked pretty badass too. Walcott was just glad they left.

Peter listened through the walls to Walcott. He heard the man pick up a phone and dial a number. "Turn the machines off." There was an unintelligible response. "I said turn them off, goddamnit."

"Seems like we did it, Wade." Peter patted his friend's shoulder.

DP smiled under the mask, Peter could see the expression and attempted to reciprocate. "Guess so, baby boy."

"Ugghhh, Wade!"

Wade dropped Peter back on the bus, which was waiting in the parking garage for the class. The driver was confused as to why Peter was back so early. He told the older man that he wasn't feeling so well so the teacher told him to meet everyone on the bus. The man did not question anything.

Eventually, his whole class came back and, once they noticed him, bombarded him with questions. Peter was overwhelmed.

"Look," He stood up in the middle of the bus and made himself loud. "You can tell anyone about that."

"Why?" Sally asked.

"Wade is kinda volatile when it comes to me and if he found out that you were telling people that I'm friends with him. Well, let's just say that you might want to learn how to communicate without a tongue." Peter was wary about threatening his classmates, but it was all true. "Plus Wade has a lot of enemies, and I mean a lot. Anyone of them could kidnap me if they knew it would hurt him."

His teammates were so curious, so he answered some of their questions. Most of the answers were bullshit. He very well couldn't tell them that he met Wade when the older man was high off his ass and running around killing people and Spiderman had to go stop him. He told them they met on the subway. That was normal, right?

The next day at school, the whole decathlon team was wary around him. Like he was a bomb about to go off. It was weird, but at least Flash left him alone. 

So, I don't think this counts as a request... I mean I requested me to write it. Yeah, that counts. Requested by me, hope you like it!!!

But yes, all jokes aside I really hope you like it. It has some pretty chaotic energy that I'm just in love with and I hope you like it too.

Please Vote and comment, like actually your comments would mean so much to me if you would actually comment. I'm not trying to guilt-trip you...No I AM tryign to guilt-trip you. I am but a lonely author with no friends and no happiness, your comments will give me both friends and happiness. 

Thanks so much, you guys,

Sammi