I like Christmas, I really do.

But um, this year my mom won't let me put Guzma on the tree.

Unlike last year.

DISAPPOINTING.

But, y'all know I love Taylor Swift—-

Guess which bitch got herself a ticket that's right in front of the stage to Tay's reputation concert on May 22nd???

@me

My dad: Santa's coming early this yea-

Me: Santa's not real

Dad: -SANTA came early this year, and was looking up Taylor Swift tickets

During this time while he's talking, he's literally scanning all the closest seats for her concert right next to me.

After some time, he's like "is this okay?"

Me: Yeah, I mean I think I did pretty good last time too

Dad: YOU THINK?!

P.S to the people new here: I got a lucky ticket that led to Taylor Swift meeting me, Alright.

I've gone to the gym just to put up shots, but my ass somehow winds up in a 3 on 3 with just guys in the ymca

Yesterday, after I made a few long shots and crossed some guy up and took the dub, we had a break. I was just checking my phone and a swig of water until the guy I crossed up comes up to me-

Guy: Nice game! Do you play varsity for your high school?

Me: Thanks! And actually, I don't.

Guy: ?

Me: Well, I play division 2 college basketball in Hawaii—

Guy: WHAT?! That's not fair! *keeps on rambling*

Guys teammate: Bro, you don't mess around with that

That's just what's been happening with me. I'm broke from buying presents for my family, but at least I'm still in condition 🤷🏼‍♀️