Chapter 13: Letting Go of the Past is Unbearable

The emerging sun painted the canopy sky in a hue of orange and blue, complemented by its golden rays.

Grace's radiant face brought light to the beautiful morning. A blue scarf she tied looked freaking pretty against her deep, dark melanated skin. She shut her eyes, reflecting on the incident that happened the day before, and she remembered. She threw her head back in a soft smile, knowing there was no need to panic.

She took her bath, pressed some of her dried clothes, and got ready before Susanne’s arrival. Noticing she was alone with the maid, Susanne donned the persona of a model and fashion icon. She put on a cream stretch Petra pant and a golden glamour now top. Her bone-straight wig, with gelled edges, crowned her head perfectly. She put on golden jewellery to fit and carried a cream leather purse in hand. While Musimbi was busy with the laundry, Susanne found her way into the guest house and unlocked the inner room door where Grace spent the night.

“Good, you’re prepared.”

“Good morning.” Grace greeted. Susanne watched her, stunned at how to reply. Grace was indeed gentle and well-mannered. She just didn’t think she would greet her. “Susanne, thanks so much for yesterday.”

“Hope you enjoyed your night? Have you had breakfast?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll meet my family at the right time. But today, let’s hang out.”

“Where are we going?”

“To the hospital.”

“What are we doing at the hospital?”

Susanne chuckled softly and threw her head back, making her silky hair dangle. You’ll know when we get there. Put on this earring. She handed her a pair of golden earrings, just like hers.

“When I was little, I envied those identical twins. They wear the same clothes and shoes and hairstyles. I never imagined that I was a twin until I saw that picture. I kept it a secret, hoping that Mum would tell me about it, but she didn’t. Not till today.” Susanne helped Grace put on the earring as ate explained. I guess she has her reasons. Wow, this looks good on you. Now, we look more identical with these earrings. Come on, let go.” she grabbed her hand and they hurried out of the guest house into the underground parking lot.

Suzanne drove out of the estate. Left, to the Nigerian federal secretariat, right to the Central Bank of Nigeria. Traffic congestions, but it wasn’t bumper-to-bumper. The traffic lights flashed — red, yellow, and green lights. They turned right. The wind was relaxing. It beat against the window despite being winded up and restrained by the air conditioner. Susanne was an excellent driver. More traffic lights. More passing cars and passersby. It was close to a year since Grace visited the central area of Abuja.

After several turns, Susanne passed the gates and was drawn up by a hospital.

About to enter, Grace pulled back. She has a fear of hospitals, known as nosocomephobia.

“Grace. Let’s go.”

“Why are we here?” Grace snapped.

I know you must give a lot to your mind," Susanne sighed. “So, I want us to take a DNA test.”

“What? DNA test?”

“Yes. Maybe you’ll believe that we are blood-related when you see the result.”

“You want to know more about me, just to make me closer to you,” Grace retorted, provoked.

“Grace!” the corner of her upper lip twitched as her eyes frowned. “That’s not what I meant. Don’t misunderstand me. What I mean is, we need proof that we are actual twins.”

“I don’t mind. Regardless of our blood connection, I've spent 24 years without a family. I don’t know if I had a sister, so please. Stop acting kind and pushy. I lived a life before you met me. Excuse me.” Grace turned her back to leave the hospital.

“Grace, wait!” Susanne leapt as she ran towards her, but Grace was fast enough. She has a pair of jean trousers on and a plain white shite that was faded and squeezed, but she didn’t care. Watching Grace storm out of the hospital, Susanne hurried after her, but her small leather handbag fell and everything in it scattered to the floor.

Susanne almost streamed Grace's name, but she never raised her voice outside. Gently bending to pick up her stuff. She realized that her powder case had broken. Susanne took her time. After picking up her stuff, she walked into the hospital and took her DNA test. The nurses took her blood sample while Susanne dialled Grace’s contact.

“Hello, Grace. Where are you?”

“I’m at the motor park, in a taxi to Lugbe. We’re waiting for more passengers to move.”

“Lugbe? But you have no house there!” Susanne sucked her teeth and nodded negatively. “Why did you leave in that manner? I was going to give you a bigger gift.”

“There’s no need for that. I’ll spend tonight at Mrs Njoku’s place before heading to Port Harcourt tomorrow morning. I need to visit the orphanage to find myself.”

“Don’t be an idiot!”

“I already told you. I lived alone for 24 years. I don’t need a sister. She ended the call and the taxi Grace boarded was ready to move. Pissed, Susanne, who was just injected, took off the cotton wool from her arm and threw it in the dustbin. She waited for her blood sample and the result was out in thirty minutes.”

Reading through the lines, a hand grabbed her arm in an instant and shrieked, “Grace!”

It was Adanna, serving in the hospital. 

“Where have you been? I’ve searched heaven and earth for you!” She almost faced her in a hug when Susanne stopped her. Her brow pulled together as she jerked Ada’s hand off hers in disgust.

Her eyes pulled to her in a bummer. “Are you alright? What brings you to the hospital?”

“Is it any of your business?” Susanne nodded. “You and your mum destroyed that poor girl’s life. Now you’re saying, Grace!”

The thin line of their brow jumped in surprise. “What’s wrong with you? Do we argue?”

Susanne’s eyes took on a hunted look. “Mind your business, Do I even know you?” she rolled her eyes at her, hissed, and majestically walked out.

Ada’s jaws dropped in reaction to her words.

“How would Grace change in just two days? Where has she been?” Ada blinked slowly as she took it in. Pestered, she shook her head and walked away.

Meanwhile, Grace didn’t go to Mrs. Njoku. She stopped by a forest in Lugbe. It was silent and warm. Grace walked behind the line of trees, knowing no one would find her there. A variety of birds whistled from tree to tree. Insects fed on the decomposition of plants and animals, leaving a floor covered in dead, decaying leaves.

The moisture keeps the forest interior warm and humid.

Grace’s eyes saw a round piece of rock. She climbed and sat on it like a chair. Coming here once in a while to meditate brings her peace. Make her feel the reason to move on from the obstacles faced. In silence, she gazed up at the chirping birds. The branches and leaves flagged above her so it covered her from the penetration of the sun.

Grace took off her necklace, which had the diamond ring Ore proposed to her with a pendant. She took it off, caressing its ruby. It’s been the most expensive thing she had earned in her entire life. ‘Why does it feel so heavy gearing this? Is it the weight of being Mrs Clifford that I would never be? She thought about how Ore defended her, especially from his dad. It has been three weeks since they last met. She never imagined her life would be like this.

Her lips flipped downwards wet because of the pain in her heart. Grace felt bad, too bad. Breathing became difficult for her. Her hands curled up in a ball as she cried bitterly at the pain she had gone through. Living was a nightmare. A rush of adrenaline pooled in her eyes. Her eyes turned itchy and her ears built up. The presence of the noisy birds faded between the lines of reality and fantasy.

With a flushed face, her heart thumbed faster as if she had run a race, but she froze in place. Her past flashed through her mind.

“How do I live with this pain, this heart, and this guilt? I don’t know what to do. I loved Ore because I had hoped that our love would strive despite all odds.” Grace sighed, wiping her running nose on her wrist. “It’s so... It’s so hard to let go. But I need to heal to accept what comes next.”

Listening to her stammer sounded weird. She had a powerful personality, but situations like this made her weak. “I don’t want to be a bitter girl anymore. This pulls me down... I need you out of my life. I love, miss, and despise you so much right now. Ore, thinking about you, every minute drives me crazy... Crazy.” She held onto the ring. Her fingers trembling to it as if her life depended on it.

'It was the symbol of the love they shared, but where the hell is Ore?' She placed her lips on its ruby and kissed it firmly. She shut her eyes, picturing him, and more tears flowed through. Her nose watered, and she cried out loud.

“I love you, Oreloluwa Clifford!” Grace faced skyward, blinded by the tears and a ray of a sunbeam that peeped through a leaf, screaming to herself. “And this is the last time I’d say this out.” She threw the ring away, and it tossed a mile into the forest and landed somewhere she never found or knew.

“Did I just throw the ring away?” The bile that rose in her throat had a stricken effect on her face. “Oh no! I should return it, not throw it away!” She threw herself off the rock and turned around, not knowing where to find the ring. She checked her feet but met with a pile of venomous insects and worms struggling for the earth. In terror, she creamed and climbed back to the stone.

A chill crept over her like icy fingers over her body. Her trembling reached for the side pocket of her jeans. She picked out a black tinted bottle, pressed to her palms. The portion contained poison.

It was a good thing Susanne had the GPS tracker app. She instantly connected it to get contact, and it showed her Grace’s location. Dashing her white Lexus Jeep out of the hospital, Susanne realized how useless last night was. She intended to talk to her to convey that she wasn't alone anymore. Adrenaline coursed through her veins as she pulled the jeep packing in the middle of nowhere. Susanne found it hard to control her irregular breathing. Her feet pounded across the road as her lungs strained.

A thin layer of sweat covered her nape, and she quickly wiped it out. Running towards the forest. “Go straight and turn left.” An electronic voice from her phone was was directed.

‘Yes, I’m close to her.’

It horrified Susanne to walk alone in the forest, but she walked through the wall of canopied trees.

“Grace! Are you there?” Her voice echoed disturbing nature’s silence.

The cold air bit into Susanne’s lungs as she hurried in the direction. She darted past more trees. Gut-wrenching, heart pumping - after several thrusts forward, her legs became tired. At this great speed, Eliana could barely see a few feet ahead of her.

Then she paused.

Her hands and legs flung at the movement the moment her sharp sight saw the emptied bottle of poison Grace had just taken.

“What the heck?” Eliana placed a hand on her head, knowing that he wasn’t there. “They must have trapped him.”

Eliana deepened a hand into the pocket of her denim jacket and brought out her phone. Swallowing down the hysteria in her chest, she called Lilah’s number.

She must be here. Susanne rasped, puzzled at the situation.

“Grace! Where are you?” She screamed, turning around like a tormented spirit. Her fingers squeezed the bottle tight into her palms as she grabbed her head, dizzy.

“How can you commit suicide? You are my only sister, and I feel incredibly blessed to finally meet you. Now, you want to kill yourself all because of one stupid guy, and it's hard for me to understand.”

Susanne roamed the enormous trees. ‘Has Grace committed suicide? Where the heck is she?’ Her heart flustered.

“Grace!” Susanne panicked out of words and thoughts. Her sweaty hand grabbed her head as she leaned into a tree trunk. Some ants climbing it stung her neck, and she jolted away from it in an instant. Searching get neck and legs. Yanking from the spot, her head twirled in circles.

“Grace! Where are you?” she screamed desperately and repeatedly.

Despite the terror of standing amidst such a thick wall of trees, Susanne found it hard to believe Grace would die such a lonesome death. It scared her to the point of breaking down.

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