A/N
Whenever update is late than usual, just know I'm buried under uni workload 💔
Caution: Long chapter ahead. Also, brace your hearts.

Althea

I tried every possible way to wrap the cloth around me, but in vain.

The concubines were stubborn. Even when a good amount of time had passed, they weren't budging to get out of the hot bath.

Though Julian practised till late afternoon, it's better to reach the palace before time. Moreover, our hysterical laughs had caught the attention of those men and they weren't leaving any chance to flirt. Creeps.

This was a rocky cave-like room next to the bath arena where I was changing. Callie had told they had brought clothes.

But I didn't know the linen would barely drape the whole of me.

I looked in the mirror and huffed in annoyance. My breath fogging the mirror. Water still dripped down my hair, wetting the cringe-worthy draped linen. Instead of covering my shoulders well, it ended up just under my arms. The rest coming below my knees in place of covering me till the feet.

What kind of a joke do I look like?

"Phoebe! Zurin!" I waddled out of the cave to stand at the top of the stairs, not stepping down to the bath, "Can you help me? This cloth-" I clutched the ends in front of my chest. It wasn't long enough to even tie one knot, "It's too short! What is this dress you have brought?!" I complained.

"Awh, dear, you are not wearing it right!" They shouted back and continued to play with the water.

"Then help me, please!"

"Althea, it's no harm to go a bit late. We'll have to do less work in the kitchen then," Zurin winked, and the others squealed a yes with her.

As if you even do any work in the kitchen at all.

I won't hesitate for a second to write in my AI book that Julian's concubines were envious, credit stealers, troublemakers and above all, laziest humans of this century.

"Listen," God, I desperately wanted to fix my dress, "One of you help me, then go back in the bath, alright?"

They were laughing without a care, "And how are you going bac-"

"The carriage that we came in. And I'll send another one for you all!" I screamed again, hoping one of them would come out, but it looked like they were frozen in their spots now.

"What happened?!" Their weird expression was getting on my nerves, "I always help you and when I want it, you're making excuses!" I yelled, "Is this what you called friendship?"

But all they did was dip further in the water, their cheeks flushed red. No wonder they were again distracted by some man entering the bath.

"And hello, I'm talking to you all! Who the heck are you staring at?" I turned around, my face bursting in anger.

I'd never changed from furious to frightened in such a short span.

No no no.

This can't be.

The person looming over me with a murderous gaze on his face couldn't be the ruler of Romanos.

With my body that had started shaking under the bright Sun, I turned a bit to see what he was looking at. The concubines' heads hung low, eyes not dared look into his. The flirting men had scurried to the opposite end of the bath.

My anger melted into pure fear when I felt his lethal gaze directed my way.

The truth of the situation was seeping in like some slow poison. When why how was he here?!

When I saw his face, it scared me to death.

I'd never seen him this mad except for the time when I refused to recite my book in the camps.

My hands clasped my mouth before a cry could escape me.

But in that action, the loose ends of the linen began slipping down my chest.
Horrified, I clutched them up back in place, my face going insanely red.

Embarrassment wasn't a word which could describe me at the moment. I wished I could die by holding my breath and go home.

"Back to the palace." His controlled voice uttered a single phrase.

I whimpered. When I thought I had successfully changed the concubines' outlook, he was here to ruin it all. What will they think now?!

He turned around to leave. The people barely noticed him because of his commoner attire.

"I- I..." I started, causing him to halt his steps. The way he stopped told me, I shouldn't have interrupted.

His head shifted sideways. Jaw clenching and unclenching, waiting for me to speak.

Oh Lord, I wish I hadn't stopped him, "I- I... I can... c- come with t- them," I motioned to the concubines, the thud of my heart ringing in my ears. Can't he understand I couldn't go with him dressed like this!

"Do I need to repeat myself!" I flinched at his severity, not expecting the voice seething with anger. His eyes cut through mine just like his mother's eagle eyes, threatening me to question him again.

I hadn't been this afraid of him for a year. It was truly petrifying to see this side of him again. The one I'd seen when I met him for the first time.

His order left no room for argument. The look on his face told he would drag me out of this area if I didn't abide.

Trembling, I followed him out of the bath arena, clutching my slipping linen for dear dignity.

He opened the carriage door, silently asking me to climb in. Closing the door, he sat across from me. And by across, if I moved a bit, my knees would be touching his. I stared at the carriage floor, one hand holding up the linen, another one fisted on my lap to stop my shaking self.

I never knew someone's stare could heat me so much, until now.

He sat there, just looking at me. I felt myself turning breathless, turning into ash by his heated glare. I wanted to explain that I was there to... write about the water system?

But everything would seem like an excuse. Moreover, I had no audacity left to speak a single word.

All along the ride, he didn't say anything. Upon reaching the palace too, he said nothing. I followed him slowly and to my utter relief; we reached the fifth floor from the back way, a path barely used by the palace people.

I looked at him lovingly as he walked ahead. He had taken this corridor so no one could see me.

Soon, I saw the door to my room too. He was so thoughtful. God bless you, Julian. I smiled, calming down finally.

He continued to walk, and I pinned my gaze to my door. Just a few more steps and I'll dash inside, lock the door and curse myself a thousand times. These concubines will be the death of me if I ever listen to them again!

Happily, I reached for the doorknob when his hand slammed against the wall beside my head. I cried out at the unexpected action, my hand retracting to clench back my linen.

He placed his second hand too, trapping me between him and the wall.

I was wrong. He wasn't being thoughtful, given the wild look lurking in his eyes, that had darkened.

In the past few days, he was being caring and patient, but now as I looked at the chiselled face, any trace of his kindness was gone.

"You really can't follow five simple rules?" His low voice stirred my senses. I clutched the linen harder.

My heart was beating in my throat that I couldn't speak. He tilted his head, eyes travelling down my neck to look at my hands gripping the linen.

"Let's start with the number of rules you broke," he continued.

"What was rule one?" His eyes flicked back to mine, one of his hands coming to wrap around my throat, his thumb feeling up the pulsating vein.

My breath shuddered through my merely covered body. Eyes closing off on their own accord.

His thumb stopped moving, and I felt him push under my chin, "Eyes on me, Althea," he growled.

Shakily, I opened my eyes, not able to look anywhere as he kept my face pushed up to his gaze.

"Rule one," he repeated, back to moving his thumb up and down my neck.

"N- Never to lie to y- you," It was torture. To have his hand wrapped around my neck, the slow movement of his thumb along it, and still look him in the eye and speak.

"It's bad to start your day with a lie," he tched, his thumb now running on my collarbones, swiping the water drops along them.

His slightly playful tone vanished, replaced by a look that he almost looked psychotic, "Claiming to not talk to the concubines when you are bathing and talking friendship with them?

"Is it a lie or not?"

His hand wasn't choking me, yet the slight pressure was enough to send me into terror, "Y- Yes it i- is," I confessed.

Till the time I was following everything, I had assumed him to be ignorant of the rules, only realising now that he was dead serious.

"What were the consequences?" He gripped my chin up when my eyes started wandering on the floor again.

"Y- You would c- consider me a spy," I rasped.

"Should I tie you up like my previous writer, then?"

"N- No," I whimpered. The image of the rotting body of that writer flashed before my eyes.

"Next broken rule," He cracked his neck side to side, waiting for me to speak.

"R- Rule two, b- but I was there to write about the water sys- mmm," He pushed his thumb between my lips.

"Did I ask you that?"

I shook my head with the best of my ability.

He removed his thumb, not before moving through my lower lip with his eyes closed. The sensation raised goosebumps on my bare arms. Not feeling threatened, but strangely, accepting what his actions did to me.

When he opened his eyes, he grabbed my hand to enter my room. Pushing me in, he closed the door behind him.

The lock clicked in place as he turned to face me, "On the bed," he ordered.

My chest turned heavier at his words. Hands shaking so badly that I could barely keep my grip on the linen.

He couldn't, no he wouldn't ever do that...

"Sit on the bed." He clarified, shaking his head in a sigh. I looked up at him, still wide-eyed as he walked around the bed to fetch something.

It seemed as if I had frozen on my spot, my body still ringing with- on the bed. My eyes widened again when he came back.

"Cover yourself," he handed me my cream coloured woollen shawl, but I didn't move.

"Althea," This time, he spoke softly, lowering his head to my level, "You'll get a cold if you don't."

"T- Thank you," I took it and wrapped around myself, watching him pull out a chair from the small table before settling on it. He motioned for me to sit too.

Now when he was feet apart, my consciousness began fixing. Looking at him properly, he appeared harmless.

And in the split second, I'd thought that he had ill intentions for me. I was so pathetically sensitive that I wanted to punch myself now.

"Five men were found plotting your murder," he informed.

I blinked, knitting my brows at the news.

"And they aren't even criminals. They are common people," he crossed his ankles to lean back.

"Why?" I was still dazed at what he did, and someone planning to kill me wasn't seeming that grave at the moment.

"Petty issues," he clucked, "What I want is, take the rules seriously, Althea. They are for your safety only," he admitted.

He was genuinely worried, while my mind was busy drifting to the unholy zone. God forbid me.

"My apologies..." I lowered my head, feeling awful, "It- It won't happen again..."

"You're not allowed to apologise now," I looked up at what he said, "Apologies mean to not repeat a mistake, but you've misused the word, Althea," he gazed at me like a king does to a culprit, "It's an invalid phrase now and goes in the fifth rule. Understood?"

The fifth rule said not to argue with him, not to call him by his name and now, not to apologise.

"Then how would I repent for my..." He got up to walk slowly toward me, "mistakes..." I stopped when he placed his hands on either side of me on the bed, leaning down to my face.

"Do you like it when men watch you bathe?"

His explicit question flushed my entire face. I opened my mouth to protest but felt powerless by his gaze.

It was madness how the heat crawling over my body was making me shiver. His closeness did that. Messing with the average working of my body.

He brought his hands over my head to weave the wet hairs behind my shoulders, which were wetting the shawl, calmly waiting for my reply, "No..." I wanted to shout but it only came out as a whisper.

"Then what were you doing there?" He continued to tuck my hair, nearing my ear to whisper, "When there was a separate bath for women?"

"There... was?" I had no stability left to curse the concubines as his warm hand rubbed the back of my neck, lips lingering like a feather's touch at the side of my neck. Soothing me so much that I held onto him.

Something so frightening and exciting at the same time had never happened to me.

"Do you like it when men give you their attention?" The hand on the back of my neck moved up to hold my hair, pulling gently so my face was arched up to him. My breath coming in short gasps, my eyes closed, intensifying everything I felt.

I had never felt someone so in control of me; I forgot what he asked.

He tugged at my hair again, "I've asked you something, Mila," His hot breath swept down the nape of my neck, unknowingly making me hold his arm firmer.

"I... d- don't know..." I heaved out when I completely forgot what he asked.

He chuckled lowly, fingers moving deeper into my hairs until he lay me on the bed. I was too breathless to realise him hovering over me. My eyes closed in forbidden bliss.

His hand lightly moved on my shoulders and down my arms, "Aren't you like that doe," he neared my ear, "who eagerly roams around a lion's den?"

I gasped when he licked off the drop of water from my neck, as it continued to drip down my hair, "Waiting for the lion to trap her, play with her," Removing my hand holding his arm, he pinned it on the bed, his stubble brushing my neck.

"Then devour her whole, until it's only her screams that echo in his den."

I was finished. Defeated by his seductions.

Just when I thought I was lost in an unknown world, he poured his magic, returning all my senses with a gentle kiss on my forehead. My eyes flew open as I looked into his light brown ones, watching me with inquisition.

When he knew well what he was doing to me. It was unimaginable how he flipped from seducing to caring in an instant.

"From now, the guards won't allow you out of the palace unless you show them my signed permission," he helped me back to a sitting position, gently supporting my back.

"And if I find you deliberately disobeying me again," he came close enough for our noses to touch, his hand holding my head.

"You'll really end up in a lion's den," he spoke against my lips. His breath coaxing me to open up when he stepped back from the bed, leaving me breathless.

He doesn't kiss any of us.

He stood there for a while, watching me regain my breath when a knock came on the door.

"Althea!" Dimitra called out, "You are late for your kitchen duties, dear," Julian marched to the door, frightening me to no ends.

"No no, please," I outran him, looking at his questioning face in dread.

"I'm so sorry, Dimitra, I got late... writing about a place so... I'll come right away," I spoke through the door. It wasn't helping that I sounded out of breath.

"Oh, alright, but you told me this morning that His Honour asked to make the cream dessert. So don't be too late," her worried voice said. I stuttered a yes.

When the hallway was clear, I awkwardly told him to step out, closing the door behind me to take the much-needed air.

Dear God. What just... happened?

I was coming down from the high when Lorenzo's call rang in my head.

"Hey, Cors, what's up?" He sounded worried behind the cheerful phrase.

"Yeah, fine..."

"Whoa, you alright? You sound like you've run a mile and just stopped."

Goodness, "Ah, yeah. I was running... in the kitchen! You know blending in with people and all," I breathed out, "you wanna ask something?"

"Yep, Cheryl destroyed her AI book."

I came wide awake at the unexpected revelation.

I dashed to the cupboard, took out my book and flipped the last page to look at it in horror.

Cheryl Martinez - data received.

"No..." This can't be. Tears welled my eyes at the thought of her gone.

She couldn't go just like that. How will I survive without her?!

"Cors, she's still connectable. I know she wouldn't do this without informing us. It's just that she's not picking up my call."

"Okay, I'll try calling her," With a shaky breath, I rang her in. It went on for a minute before she picked up.

"H- Hello," I sniffed up my tears, "Are you there, Cheryl?"

"What happened, Cors baby, are you alright?" She asked, panicked.

"Althea! Dear, would you be there today in the kitchen?" Dimitra's voice came again.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming!" I called back, "Cheryl, please call Lorenzo okay, I have some work, will call you later." She hummed a yes, and I hastily draped a decent linen before rushing to the kitchen, dabbing my eyes off the tears. She's getting a nice scolding for scaring me so much!

I entered the kitchen with a gloomy expression, not greeting anyone as I went straight to make the cream.

Phoebe and Zurin sensed my ignorance and came snooping around, but I turned my head aside.

It was totally awful that they didn't tell me about a separate bath built for women.

"We... apologise, Althea," They murmured, "Please don't be mad at us."

"How can I not be!" I faced them, my anger evident on my face, "Do you know how shameful it was for me?" I hiccuped, knowing Julian had seen me in that barely draped linen.

"Did... did His Honour... say something?" They mumbled.

I snapped, "Say? He scolded me so much!" They winced, "Was that how a court writer supposed to face the king? It may not be an issue for you, but it was for me!" I let out a ragged breath, "He was so angry at my indecent attire," I sniffed and went to the brick stove to boil the milk.

"Althea..." Phoebe came to stand beside me, gazing at the milk, "We will... talk to His Honour... to forgive you."

"Yes, we know it's our fault. You even told you needed permission, but we didn't listen..." Zurin trailed after her. A smile twitched on my lips.

At least they were feeling sorry. Good thing they'll talk to their beloved king about it.

I continued to stir the milk, not paying attention, when they hugged me together, "Won't you forgive us now?" They wailed, "It's a shame to lose such a sweet friend like you, in this palace full of poisonous women."

I sighed. Who would work for them if they upset the one woman doing their part of the cooking? Nevertheless, I hugged them back as they squealed in relief. Together we prepared today's dishes, laughing amongst ourselves.

With the dessert, I took extra care this time to make it better than before. Whatever Julian did, but I knew he was tensed and upset about my situation. I hope I could make it up to him with this dish.

We arranged the table with wine and water, placing salads before the men would come to eat first.

Going inside, we adjusted all the foods, and I held the big bowl of Ishtar cream. My nerves jittery with excitement.

It was when the warriors had settled in the dining area did I stop dead in my tracks.

"Dimitra," I went to her urgently, "I cannot serve today, please."

"Oh my," she was taken aback, "What's wrong?"

I peeped out the door to see the chatting warriors, while Julian sat watching them silently, casually drinking water, picking up the salad now and then.

"Althea, I know you are nervous," she placed an assuring hand on my shoulder, "Anyone would be when His Honour is around, but you don't have to serve him. So you shouldn't be scared," she smiled.

How would she understand if I serve him or not, I'm screwed either way.

She continued, "It's Caspara's job to serve him. You'll be serving warrior Ashtor," she pointed to a blonde-haired chatterbox of a warrior who was laughing his head out.

And he also sat directly across from Julian.

Do you like it when men give you their attention?

"D- Dimitra," I stammered, "Please, I won't be able to serve the men today," I bit my lip, "I- I can serve the women, you know..." I trailed when she looked at me in confusion.

"There isn't a choice dear because Thalia is visiting her grandma today. Usually, she would serve, but you must do for now," she sighed. When my dreadful expression didn't change, she called in Zurin to help me.

"Awh, they are cool people. They joke so much and are fun to be around," she winked, "So you need not worry, darling."

My heart hadn't shuddered so much as it did now. I walked between the friendly concubines, making sure I was hidden behind Zurin. But how long would I hide?

With careful steps, breathing in and out and telling myself for the tenth time that Julian wouldn't mind, because they were his warriors. So they must be civil. It's not like their attention to me would do anything wrong because after all, they are loyal to him.

They are loyal to him, and he wouldn't mind. Damnit now calm down heart!

I refused to look at his face when I stood beside warrior Ashtor to place the big bowl of dessert on the table. I kept my face neutral, only focussing on arranging the food on the warrior's plate.

"Wait wait wait..." Ashtor stopped talking to his tablemate to gawk at my face, his curious brown eyes taking in my appearance, "What have I done to receive the honour of being served by our court writer?" His face broke into a delighted grin.

"I am being served by our dear court writer. What an honour!" he yelped. All the warriors stopped eating momentarily to direct their gaze on me.

But the gaze of one particular man was enough to bring a shiver down my back. The gaze that reminded me of the things that happened in my room.

Do you like it when men give you their attention?

My heart was pounding like a hammer on an anvil.

They are loyal to him, and he wouldn't mind.
They are loyal to him, and he wouldn't mind!

Agnes, who was serving beside Caspara, urgently waved to me.

Smile, she used her fingers to stretch her lips, then pointed to me.

I swear it was the hardest smile I'd ever smiled in my life. The warriors snickered to themselves.

"I know the food would taste extra delicious today," Ashtor freaking winked at me, "Thank you for your immense writing service for our kingdom, Althea," he smiled and dug into the food.

"Y- Your welcome," I had to speak given how every concubine talked to their respective warrior, smiling. Also, they were of higher ranking. They had to be respected.

"Hm, Calix, I just figured that Ashtor and Althea have the same number of letters," he laughed to his fellow companion, "It sounds great together, Ashtor Althea," he turned to face me, "no, writer?" he grinned.

Calm down bro, for your and my sake!

"Uh, I-," I didn't know in what way should I smile to not make him feel bad, and handle the deadly stare of the man in front.

How much I wanted to see if Julian was mad or not, but I couldn't lift my gaze. He had warned today itself, hours ago! and here I was, disobeying him right in front of his eyes.

Save me, Ishtar.

"My Lord," Caspara's voice chimed in from across the table, "would you need some honey-roasted-"

"Cream," his stern voice cut her off, "I want that sweet Ishtar cream," I raised my head the slightest to see his jaw moving, chewing the food with such aggression, my lips began trembling.

Caspara's face twisted in reluctance, which she hid in a second, "As you wish to my Lord," she smiled and filled a bowl with the dessert to place it next to him.

Julian jabbed a finger in the cream, bringing it to his mouth to lick it off. The way his tongue swirled around the cream took away my leftover breath.

"Nice work with the dessert, Althea," his tongue peeked out to swipe through his upper lip. And because he acknowledged me, I had to look at him now.

The gentle smile on his face promised disaster.

"It- It's an honour to hear, my Lord," I bowed, shaking beyond control.

"This is made by you?" Ashtor exclaimed, elated, "Then I'll have two bowls!" He waved to the cream for me to fill two for him.

He wouldn't stop praising the dessert, talking to the warriors at how delicious it was. The others laughed nervously.

"Wasn't he in that meeting?" I heard the low voice of the warrior to my right, "Damn, mate doesn't know His Honour's warning."

"Ha! I bet poor fellow will be demoted today," The other one cackled to him.

* * *

After pleading Dimitra that I won't be able to serve dinner to the men, she accepted my request.

Right now, I sat beside the concubines, silently eating, my head stirring with the consequences.

It would've been so good if I just had to eat and go to my room to sleep my worries away, but no.

I had to go to his room because it was a strict order to return my book before sleeping.

Caspara and her sidekicks were grumbling how Julian didn't need warm milk to be delivered to his room tonight. Phoebe and Zurin threw comments while Dimitra's eyes darted between the two groups of concubines as if she was watching a ping pong match.

After dinner, I opened my book to add as much praise for Julian in today's account as possible. No amount of deep breaths were helping me as I walked down the corridor.

"You can enter, gracious lady," The guard bowed and opened the door to his room.

It was warm inside, with the curtains that were completely down, hiding his bed. The pillows were faintly visible by the two fire torches that burnt at the adjacent corners of the room.

He wasn't around.

Just when I thought I could calm myself for a little while, the door before the balcony's gate opened.

He came out, his gaze focussed on tying the gold satin of his night robe when he looked up, his fingers stopping their action.

"G- Greetings, my Lord," I fumbled before he could say anything.

I sat on the nearby chair when he waved a hand. Opening my book, I began reading, trying to keep my face neutral.

Trying to show that his presence wasn't killing me slowly.

As I read, I heard his footsteps coming closer, until I could see them in my peripheral view. I didn't stop reading.

Like a predator, he moved around me, watching with fascination. My breathing turned erratic by the second.

The silence on his part was much more intimidating than anything else.

I felt him pause behind me, "The ruler of Romanos cares immensely for his- his people," I continued to read, "He made t- two types of bath for-" I gasped.

He gingerly moved a finger down the back of my neck, making my eyes shut close at the sensation. A shudder repeatedly ran down my spine at the continuous movement of his finger.

"Did I tell you to stop?" He husked. His fingers now curling in my hair.

"N- No, my Lord," I breathed out, willing myself to start reading again.

With his hand still in my hair, he came closer. His breath now simmering over the nape of my neck as he gazed into my book. He didn't move until I was finished.

"It- It's done, my Lord," I shivered as he left my hair.

"Keep it in the cupboard," he ordered, stepping away from me. I stood on wobbly feet to turn around and walk to the cupboard kept at the corner.

"On the top shelf," he said when I opened the door. It was huge and given I couldn't ask him, I stood on my toes, somehow pushing the book in the said place. Catching my breath, I regained my balance to push the door close.

I turned around, only for him to back me against the shelf.

The sensation of feeling powerless consumed me again, but I didn't couldn't feel threatened.

It was as if he was a fine-old wine and I was drowning in his drunkenness.

His face was hidden by a shadow as he brought his hand to caress my cheek. My eyes closed, unconsciously giving in to the touch.

"Are you scrounging for my attention, Althea?" he whispered.

I shuddered when his finger travelled down my neck, "Why would I... do so?" I uttered.

"Breaking the rules is the best way to attract my attention," his finger let go of my neck, "If it's attention that you want,

"Then I'll gladly send the concubines back to their home."

My knees became weak hearing that. His fingers continue to graze my heated face and I couldn't help but lean more and more in his touch.

"Trust me, Mila. You wouldn't want to have all my attention on you," he held my chin to face me to him, "Not yet."

I just stared at him with my breathing that had turned raspy, hands wishing to touch his face like he did.

"I haven't questioned you on your little activities in the kitchen, doesn't mean you can do anything you want."

"What can I do to... apologise for my mistakes... my Lord," Knowing I couldn't apologise, I asked him carefully.

"You'll serve me from now," he answered.

"B- But Caspara does..."

"She can serve someone else," he cocked his head to the side, studying my face.

That'll be a major red flag for the concubines. They would think if I did something, if I lured their king.

And then, they'll be back with making those dirty assumptions.

"I cannot serve you... my Lord," I didn't know how to put it as I shifted my gaze.

The faint light of the fire torch fell on his face as he angled his neck. His serious expression had returned.

"Do you like Ashtor?"

"No!" I shrieked. Before he could say anything, I blurted out, "C- Can my timings be changed from n- night to... sometime in the day?"

A look of unbelievable hurt crossed his face before he increased the distance between us.

"Why?" It was barely above a whisper, "Do you think I'll violate you?"

"No no," I shook my head, a pang hit my chest at what he'd thought, "It's that... people make remarks, how..." I controlled the sudden sob, knowing this wasn't going as I'd thought, "They think that something is," I took in a deep breath, "Something is going between us, because I come here every night."

The silence that followed was unbearable.

There were sweet moments we shared, and today what we shared was something... I had never imagined.

As much as it made me feel things I had never felt, I have to stop. Stop before it becomes an addiction. Either to him or to me.

His voice was faint, "Nothing is going between us?" It was as if he was asking himself.

"Nothing is going between us," This time he said it out loud, but his voice wavered.

"It's alright, Althea," he backed away further, "You can come here whenever you want to. Serve whoever you want.

"I'll never force you to do something you don't like," he concluded, his voice thick with guilt as turned to his desk.

"No..." I extended my hand for him to stop, but he didn't see. He was taking the blame on himself, to be the cause of my fear when it was others' perspective that feared me the most.

His hand moved through the scrolls, but I could see them shaking. The shine on his face was gone, as it lay lowered in regret.

"You can leave, Althea," he spoke quietly, dejectedly, as he turned around to step into his balcony, without sparing another glance.

I closed my eyes as the tears gushed down my face, "I'm- I'm sorry, Julian," I uttered through shaky tears, pressing a hand to my mouth as the sobs intensified. But he wasn't there to listen.

Reaching my room, I collapsed on my bed, trying to stop the tears, but they continued to pour out, constricting the air in my chest.

In the hopes of making up to Armonia, I had upset the concubines, and to impress them, I ended up hurting the one person I shouldn't have.

He was always so considerate, never making me feel uncomfortable whether it be in the lake or Ishtar's temple or so many more places. He prioritised my feelings above his and...

And what have I done today?

I bit my lip hard, hoping the pain in my heart would go, the tears would stop, but it only worsened.

I hadn't meant to destroy the little something we had built between ourselves, but it crumbled today.