12 YEARS OLD

REMY

"Forreal tho, when imma hit that?" Rajon asks. He's the finest dude in the whole neighborhood. I'm only in seventh grade and he's in ninth but I don't mind. He's my only happiness when I'm not at home dealing with my mom and her sick ass husband. He is the only guy he shows me he cares.

"I don't know." I answer him, smiling. I'm not a virgin by any means considering the fact my step dad rapes me but I never gave it up because I simply wanted to. "What you mean you don't know? You gotta know, Remy." he says, smiling. He wraps his arms around my waist then pulls me in his arms. "You know you want to." he says in my ear. I gasp as he kisses me on my neck. For the first time in my life, I actually like it. "Ok... we can do it in my house. My step dad is at work and my mom and sister are at the store." I tell him. He nods his head then grips a hand full of my butt.

Something is telling me not to do this but I don't care. I love him. Here we are in my bedroom kissing in my twin sized bed. He lifts my shirt over my head then pulls his pants down. I sit up then pull my favorite pair of pink panties down. He smirks. "Put a condom on." I mumble. We already shouldn't be doing this and I'm only twelve, I definitely don't need to be a mother by the time I'm thirteen. "Imma pull out." he says, spreading my legs. I take a deep breath then close my eyes, digging my nails in his back as he slowly pushes himself inside of me.

The only sound that can be heard throughout the room is skin smacking, the headboard banging against the wall, grunts, and moans. "What the fuck, Remy? You giving my shit away?" Robert's loud voice booms throughout the room.

I scream,  then throw Rajon off of me. "It's not what it looks like." I say. Robert storms at me, then grips me by my neck.  "Ay, nigga, chill the fuck out!" Rajon hollers, trying to get him off me. "Run." I choke out to Rajon. I don't want him to get hurt trying to help me when I'm the reason I'm going through this right now. It's not his fault.

"Hell naw, running for the pussy niggas! Bitch ass nigga, you sick as hell! She yo step daughter, nigga! She only twelve!" Rajon hollers at him. Robert throws me against the wall then pulls his pistol out. "Robert, no!" I scream at him, trying to stop him. Rajon stares him dead in his eyes. "My nigga, you just gone have to kill me. Remy, run." Rajon says. "Robert, please, no." I beg him. He sends a bullet straight through Rajon's chest. I drop to my knees, screaming and crying.  Robert points the gun at me. "See, bitch? You see what you made me do?" he hollers at me. "Fuck you!" I scream, punching him with all my might. He grips a hand full of my hair then grabs Rajon by his arm and drags the both of us out the front door. He throws us in the street. "Don't come back!" he hollers at me.

The incident with Robert and Rajon happened a week ago. Child protective services took me in and they're investigating what happened. I'm in Rajon's hospital room. He has a lot of stuff hooked up to him. The doctors said he may not make it but he's still getting better each day. He slightly opens his eyes then glances over at me. I wipe my tears, watching his breath fog up his breathing mask as he breathes in and out.  "I'm sorry." I mumble. He continues to stare at me with an emotionless look in his eyes. He moves his arm then winces, trying to take the mask off. He pulls it off then gasps. "Rajon, put it back on." I panic. He ignores me, coughing a little.  "I... I ain't mad." he coughs out. "At you." he finishes.  "But... but this shit... far from... from over." he coughs out, then puts his mask back on. I wonder what he meant by it's far from over.

The door opens and his big brother everybody calls Killa walks in the room.  He nods his head at me. "This who you took a bullet for, nigga?" he asks Rajon. Rajon nods his head. Killa looks at me with his dark, death like eyes then looks over at Rajon. "Bet." he says. "I'm sorry... don't hurt me." I beg him. He chuckles. "Hurt you? Only way you gone be hurt is if you loved that bitch nigga Robert." he simply says. "You killed him?" I ask, not really caring. He deserves whatever he gets. Killa chuckles. "Lil bruh, how you feel?" he asks, ignoring my question. I hope he did kill him. Robert does not deserve to walk the earth.

I feel something rising in my stomach. I bend over and throw up all over the floor. "Owww..." I groan in pain, holding my stomach. I look down and scream, watching blood roll down my thighs.  I rush to the bathroom and pull my dress up. I scream out in pain, watching the clumps of blood fill the toilet. I break down crying. I didn't even know I was pregnant.

DAMN... SAD, HUH?

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