chapter title: it's been so long by thelivingtombstone
chapter warnings: depictions of grief, discussions of child death, disturbing imagery

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Three movies later, April's the one to walk Casey home. He tried to say it should be the other way around, NYC can be sketchy as fuck at ass o'clock in the morning, but April was having none of it. It didn't help that everyone could tell Casey was seriously out of it. He rarely talked during the movies, and they only watched funny or feel-good ones. He barely had any popcorn. Or any other snacks. He got cuddly with fucking Donatello. Clinging to his arm, leaning on him and shit. That one took all of them by surprise.

... He's grateful Donnie went with it though. Casey's always been very physically affectionate with his favorite people, but he got especially clingy when upset.

As much as they get on each other's nerves, the guy's a decent person. Casey'll give him that.

April gives him a good long hug at the front door to Casey's apartment building. He makes her promise to text him when she gets home, and if she finds trouble, he'll be over with his hockey stick and baseball bat faster than she can scream for help. It got her to laugh, and it brought a tiny smile to his face. Making his friends laugh felt good. It felt normal, when so many things didn't. And he isn't talking about the mutant turtles or the actual aliens.

The smile fades the second he comes up to his apartment door. His hand goes back to his neck, scratching like he can itch the nerves out of him. Does he wanna...?

He forces himself to breathe as his body wants so fucking badly to cry some more, from the lump in his throat to the tears burning in his eyes.

Yeah, he wants to. He's gonna. Wounded ego his ass, he needs his dad.

It takes Casey less than five minutes to get inside, change into his pajamas, and work up the courage to knock on his dad's bedroom door. That might be a new record, to be honest.

It's not that Casey's afraid to talk to his dad. Never, not in a thousand, billion trillion years. Casey couldn't be afraid of his dad if he tried. The man wore his heart on his sleeve; his kids' a chip off the old block without a doubt. It was more the fact that Casey's seventeen, and prideful, whether he admits it or not (something he and all the guys have in common), and he's asking his dad if he can stay with him like he's a little kid.

... A little kid desperately, achingly missing his twin sister. A little kid who's held back tears no less than three times in the last several hours.

He's not even angry anymore, he's just sad. Talking about her to Raph brought up a lot of memories. The good and the bad. He misses his fucking twin. He wished she didn't have to be taken from them so soon. He wished he could have done something to save her. It hurts so fucking bad, it's like there's a whole in his chest that can never be filled or fixed. It's just raw, and will be raw for the rest of time. Never able to heal.

Fuck he wants his dad.

Screw it.

The door slowly opens, creaking enough to make him wince. Dad has seriously gotta oil those damn hinges, he doesn't know how he keeps forgetting. "...Dad?"

A groan comes from the bed, and a large hand fumbles for slim glasses on the nightstand. Dad's hair is a fucking mess over his shoulders, eyes both blurry with sleep and blinking at the light pouring into his room from the open door. "Casey?" He asks, voice hoarse. He must not have heard Casey come home.

God-fucking-dammit, here come the tears again. They tighten his throat and burn his eyes, wetting his cheek as one of them falls without permission. "Can I stay with you tonight...?"

He's so busy trying to wipe at his tears he almost misses his dad holding out an arm for him. Casey kicks the door closed. Practically jumps into Dad's bed. Dad takes off his glasses again and hugs Casey tight. Tight, and a little suffocating, but exactly what he needed cause somehow Dad always knows what he needs.

The tears come back full force and Casey can't even find the will to fight them.

He cries, and sobs, and sure his ego might be wounded from crying about something that happened years ago, something everyone expected him to be over with by now, and from getting clingy with Donnie and almost crying in front of his friends that mostly knew him as a reckless and passionate idiot and actually crying in front of a fellow hot-head. And he misses his sister so much he might as well have lost her yesterday. But Dad's here. Dad's here, and he isn't judging him. He's holding him like Casey will shatter if he lets go (and given his mental state right now, he just might). Cradling his head the way he used to. Letting him cry. Kissing his hair every so often. Tucking him in.

Casey falls asleep feeling much more like ten than seventeen.

The following morning sucked absolute ass. So did the afternoon. So did the evening. By the time the sun set and night had fallen, Casey had spent the whole day irritable and tired and ungodly angry at literally everything around him. He started a fight with Az about the last fuckin cookie in the pantry and Cassiano had to come over and see what the fuss was, they were so loud.

So Casey Jones had not been having a good day. And it was about to get even worse.

His heel tapped incessantly against the concrete roof of the building across from the old pizzeria. Time had not been kind to it; chipped and faded paint, the Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria sign defaced, broken windows. It looked like what you'd expect when you hear 'abandoned building.'

This felt closer to a grave-site though.

Leo sighs, pulling his binoculars away. "No sign of the Foot from up here. Donnie?"

Donnie's voice pipes up from the comms. "Nothing. Mikey keeps thinking he sees something moving, but there's nothing there."

"There's shit moving in there, I keep telling you!" Comes Mikey's indignant shout.

Leo scolds him for his language. Casey doesn't know why he bothers; it's not like it's ever stopped them. The only one they all agree not to swear around is Master Splinter.

Angry energy buzzes beneath his skin. He needs something to happen, he needs something to punch. Punch and hit and break and scream at. Maybe that'll fix him.

April's voice breaks up the argument Casey cannot bring himself to pay attention to. "Guys! I think I see a Foot bot! Around the back, western side."

Without fellow prompting, he and Leo leap across the rooftops, jumping over alleyways and dodging wandering eyes looking up. Soon enough, they come up to the rooftop April and Raph had been assigned for lookout, Donnie and Mikey coming up right behind them.

Raph points his sai toward one of the broken windows. "Saw 'em right through there."

Casey swipes at someone's binoculars, ignoring their protests.

Yep, there it is. Through the broken glass, just before the darkness swallows the hallway whole, there's the telltale uniform of a Foot bot. "There's one in the back of the hallway. I can see the uniform."

A green hand swipes the binoculars back and Casey couldn't stop the retaliating shove if he was chained to the floor.

Was it an asshole move? Yeah, he's big enough to admit that. Did he care?

Ask again when he's five miles away from the last place he saw his fucking twin alive.

Leo stepped between him and Donnie (cause of course it was fuckin Donnie) before it could dissolve into a full-on brawl. "Break it up!" He yells, shoving them both back.

Casey scoffs, heel tapping on the roof again.

He can fucking feel everyone else's eyes on him. He can feel their pity and it only pisses him off more. He doesn't want their pity, he doesn't need their pity. Pity won't reverse time. Pity won't bring back the dead.

And don't ask him how he knows his sister's dead when her body was never found. It's a twin sense. He felt it in his soul while they were still there, and he was inconsolable for months afterward. He fucking knows. No body required.

He glares at the building behind his hockey mask. The mask sits comfortably on his face, bringing him some kind of comfort in an uncomfortable situation. It's easier to put his anger towards being a vigilante with the mask on his face or his stick and bat in his hands.

Raph shoulder checks him as they start the jump down and Casey was legit about to snarl before he noticed the look in his friends' eye.

Right. They're not pitying. They're worried. They know better than to pity what can't be changed.

So Casey forces a deep breath. Forces himself to calm down enough to not be ready to throw a punch at the slightest thing that moves. That's not fair to his friends.

Raph pats his shoulder, and they both make their way down.

Down the building... across the alleyway... through the broken window... and Casey represses a full-body shudder as his converse hits the dusty ass floor of a building he hasn't so much as looked at in years. His eyes haven't even adjusted to the darkness and he's already hearing shit. Whispers, it sounds like. Mikey is visibly freaked out and hiding behind Raph, so he takes a wild guess that everyone else can hear it too.

He fucking hates this place.

April leads the way with her flashlight. Casey finds himself in the middle, surrounded on all sides by the five of them, everyone keeping a lookout. It's... both annoying and sweet. For them to be trying to protect him like this cause they know now. Still kinda annoying though. He doesn't need to be shielded like a damn damsel in distress. He can take care of himself! He's proven that enough!

... Maybe he'll let himself have this though. It is kinda nice. In a 'this-doesn't-happen-often-so-enjoy-it-while-you-can' kinda way.

They find the Foot bot easily enough. Well, Leo finds it. Cause he stepped on it. .... Part of it. Cause the top half appears to have been torn off completely.

Mikey shrieks and they all have to tell him to shut the fuck up, hands piling over his mouth to muffle the sound. It'd be funny if this place wasn't so fucking eery.

What could be in here that tore a Foot bot in two like that?? Had Mikey actually seen something else in here? This place was supposed to be abandoned! A public safety hazard!

Do you know how dangerous a place has to be for Casey Jones to acknowledge a public safety hazard?!

A moment passes. Then two. Nothing happens.

Somehow, Casey isn't comforted. But they all release their grip on Mikey's face and ignore the tongue he sticks out at them.

"Now what?" Donnie whispers, bringing out his own flashlight. Everyone else takes out theirs too. The more light the better.

"We keep going," Leo whispers back. "Make a loop. Stay together, and keep an eye out."

With a nod, the group all turns back into the darkness and keeps going.

"How're ya doin', Case?" Raph asks.

It's an easy reply. "I hate this place."

"We know, Casey." Then why are we here, Leo?

The place is dusty, and disgusting. There's something leaking on the floor in puddles. They don't think it's water. Doors are halfway off their hinges. Banners are falling and decaying. Popped and deflated balloons frame just about every entrance and exit. Weird slash marks cover the wall, deep scratches are embedded in the floor. The deeper into the building they go, the worse the smell gets. Old, musty, and decaying. It's almost enough to make a guy hurl. And of course, they had practically nothing to cover it. So they suffered through it.

Every so often, there's a loud bang of metal that makes them all jump out of their skin. Donnie helpfully supplies the fact that it sounds like it's coming from the vents. Casey and Raph smack him at the exact same time for that one.

Every so often, Casey hears the whispers again. Echoes of laughter. Of screams. Young, and terrified. Of nicknames that haven't been used in years.

Still... no other sign of Foot bots. Or anything else of the Foot Clan.

"Guys, look," Donnie says as they pass one particular wall near the front of the place. "Newspaper clippings."

Casey doesn't even have to look to know what they are. So he doesn't, instead glaring at the slash marks covering the opposite wall. What the hell kinda monster could make those? They're huge.

"What do they say?" Leo asks, stepping closer.

Donnie's voice is small and riddled with guilt, it sounds like, when he says, "It's about the incident."

Great. His family's tragedy and the tragedy of four other families on display in the place responsible for it all. Expected, but still fucking irritating.

"Did nobody get arrested for that?"

He fuckin wishes, Leo. Maybe then they'd all finally get some damn closure.

Casey speaks quietly. It's not because he's trying to be stealthy. "Their only suspect was a dude named William Afton. The evidence was circumstantial, so they had to let him go."

It's Mikey that asks the question of the century. "Do you think he did it?"

"Mikey!" Raph immediately scolds.

"What?! It's a fair question!" It is. "If Casey thinks he did it, we can find him and get the truth!"

He wished.

At fourteen, Casey got it into his head that he'd solve the mystery of the missing children's incident himself. Scoured the internet and newspaper reports of the incident for weeks. William Afton (a name he had sworn he recognized before seeing it in the news) was the only name they could put on the crime. The circumstantial evidence in question was security footage of a guard of his build leading one of the missing kids into a back room. Not grounds for an arrest. Although, he did get a weird sense of unease seeing his mugshot. Unease and unadulterated hatred. Hated him enough for violence. Wanted him dead. His therapist thought it came from his grief trying to rationalize the mystery of what happened and latched onto the first person charged by police. Casey isn't too sure though.

He also learned that Afton had been sharing Fazbear Entertainment with a guy named Henry Emily, who lost a daughter at the diner location. That murder happened maybe two months after Afton's youngest son was involved in an accident at the same location. Afton's son died not even a week later. Casey can't remember either of the kids' names. After the diner shut down, Emily took full control of the company. Following the missing children's incident, Emily shut down the brand entirely and offered to pay for all the counseling the families needed. After being released, Afton practically disappeared off the face of the earth like a damn coward.

Fazbear is fucking coated with the blood of children. How do either of these men live with themselves?

"I doubt it," Casey finally says, flipping the flashlight in his hand so he's not tempted to add more damage to the wall. "Doubt that we can find him, I mean. After he got released, fucker laid low like hell."

He can't fucking take this anymore. Ghosts of the past haunted him, taunted him. Whispers in his ear. Details of memories he'd rather forget. Echoes of screams. Not even the support of his friends could keep it away. Not for long.

He needed to get the fuck out of here. He'll make it up to them later, he just has to fucking go before he looses his mind.

Donnie doesn't see Casey run off, too morbidly enraptured by all the newspaper clippings detailing the public's knowledge of the missing children's incident. That, and hearing Mikey and Raph argue, but they're always doing that at some point. Leo's trying to break them up, as usual, when a specific article caught Donnie's eye.

He takes it off the wall to get a better look, moving like he's working with delicate machinery. Can't risk it tearing, after all. He's not sure how often this place gets visited by random ass teens looking for an adrenaline rush, but the less evidence they were here, the better.

The more he reads, the more his eyes widen and his mask furrows. The more he reads, the more unease and horror settle in his gut like a rock. Donatello's no stranger to horrific things. He's the most familiar out of all four of them with The Internet, not to mention what they get up to every night. But this... this might have to take the cake.

"April," He says, eyes not leaving the page. "Come look at this."

His friend comes up beside him the way she always does, already trying to read over his arm. "What is it, Donnie?"

"This clipping." He adjusts his hold on it so April can read it better. "It goes into detail about how this place shut down a year after the incident."

"Well, I imagine having five children disappear under your roof isn't great for business."

She is not wrong, he'll give her that. "That's not the reason listed though, look." He turns off his flashlight to free his hand, April already shining her light to make up for it. He points to a section halfway down the clipping, reading aloud, "Health and safety inspectors took the longest notes on the decaying appearances of the once-beloved animatronics; liquid of an unknown source leaking from their joints, and 'what can only be described as the smell of death followed them everywhere they went.'" April breathes in sharply, the closest thing any of them will allow to a gasp right now. "And then here..." He searches for the other quote. "Aha, here it writes, 'a former security guard reported feeling unsafe around the animatronics. The anonymous ex-employee discussed feeling threatened and claimed one of them even went so far as to try and kill them.'"

He tears his eyes away to stare at the wall, mind racing. Well, his mind is always racing, but not... never about things like this.

April clearly notices. "What're you thinking, Donnie?"

Nothing good, that much is certain. "I think..." C'mon Donatello, put the thoughts into words. "... Casey and the news article from last night mentioned that the bodies were never found. What if there were bodies, they were just... hidden?"

Oh he fucking hates where his mind goes sometimes. That's so morbid. Yet it makes so much sense! It's the only thing that makes sense!

"Hidden where?" And isn't that the million dollar question.

"The only place they could be hidden." Oh for the love of the ancestors. Donnie's eyes widen in horror when he processes his next words; "Inside the animatronics."

April gasps this time, grabbing onto his arm. He doesn't hesitate in grabbing her hand. Holy shit, he hated that, he hated that thought, oh no.

But dammit, it's the only thing that's logical! April seems to know it too. He's not sure if that comforts him or not. "That would explain the smell of death..."

She squeezes his arm and he squeezes her hand back. Man, he's glad she's here. He probably would have started spiraling when he said it.

The most morbid thing is just how plausible the possibility is.

Donnie spent hours researching the history of Freddy Fazbear's after Casey and April finally went home. And in his research, he discovered the technology of spring-locked animatronic suits; suits that could be both worn by a human and become a walking robot. The technology had still been buggy, the springs being so sensitive as to even cause the death of Evan Afton, youngest son to the ex-co-ceo of Fazbear Entertainment, William Afton, in an incident known as the Bite of '03. Following the death of the other co-ceo's daughter, Charlotte Emily, the spring-lock suits went into retirement as the only location they were being used shut down.

The suits must have been moved to this location as the only active Fazbear location. It's the only place the bodies could have remained undetected by investigators leading the case. Especially since the security footage showed none of the children leaving the establishment at any point.

He fucking hates this. He hates how smart he is sometimes, that's so awful.

And Casey's twin was one of those kids.

April hugs his arm tighter, clearly seeking some kind of comfort. Donnie squeezes her hands rhythmically, mind still reeling from the implications and possibilities of the suffering that happened here. "Those poor kids... killed, then trapped?" Her voice wavers with tears.

"I know."

"Poor Casey..."

"I know..."

Another bang from above has all of them jump. Five sets of eyes watch the vents, five individual hands all reaching for a weapon.

Silence...

Silence.....

Silence.......

BOOM!

Metal crashes as a rancid, decaying, half-broken something falls from the vents, screaming bloody murder as it launches itself at Donnie. He barely has time to blink before he's pulled out of the way by April with a scream, the screaming bundle of metal ripping a tear in his mask tails as they fall from the momentum.

The living metal thrashes as it digs itself out of the wall, still screaming, everyone else screaming with it. Its gleaming yellow eye turns toward the group, its metallic mouth wide open to reveal sharp metal teeth that gleam in the dim lights. Wires poke from joints, metallic exoskeleton exposed much more than it should be.

Leo yells at them all to run.

He didn't need to tell them twice.

They run the opposite direction, following Leo's lead. The screaming doesn't stop, following close behind with the sound of scraping metal and tearing wallpaper.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!" Raph shouts, ducking as it leaps once more, again toward Donnie. An orange nunchuck wraps around the clawed hand, chain pulling taut. Mikey screams as it yanks him toward it, flying through the air. Donnie delivers a swift and hard kick to its chest, breaking the heavily soiled dusty-red metallic fur even more as he grabs for his brother.

"I think it's one of the old animatronics!"

"How is it moving on its own?!" Leo demands, gasping as heavy thunks round the corner behind them. A deep indigo bunny comes into view, with wires for an arm and the top of its face missing, leaving only teeth and glowing red pinpricks amongst wires and metal.

"Donnie thinks they're haunted! The animatronics must be where the bodies of the kids were hidden!" April shouts, screaming as the bunny runs for her, its screaming more robotic and less coherent. She rolls out of the way, kicking at the back of its rusted knees.

"IT'S ACTUALLY HAUNTED?!" Raph screams, stabbing at the fox from behind with his sai. He only angers it more, the screaming ear-bleedingly loud.

Leo finds them an exit and they all bolt once more, hoping to outrun the living, haunted animatronics on their own turf.

Note the sarcasm in hope.

"I KNEW IT!" Mikey yells as they run for their lives. The thumping of metal behind them is still much too close for comfort. "I TOLD YOU IT'D BE HAUNTED!"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME MIKEY!" For once, Donnie has to agree with Leo!

From behind, Donnie sees April look around them. "Where's Casey?!"

Oh no.

"Awe shit!" Raph exclaims angrily, looping an arm around Mikey as he stumbles over a fallen chair.

"Buddy up and find him! We're not leaving him behind!"

Right as they came to a split hallway, their group split. Donnie sprints alongside April and Mikey, all three of them calling for Casey.

Stealth be damned, the spirits know they're here.

Casey pants hard as he sprints through the halls of the pizzeria. Shit-shit-shit-shit-shit runs through his head on repeat as he runs, jumping over fallen chairs. He knocks over a table, wishing he had his roller blades. He'd be so much faster.

The heavy thunk of metal echoes behind him. He's terrified to look back, he knows what he'll see. He'll see a six-foot-tall, falling apart animatronic bear chasing him. Dead eyes, a missing ear. Mouth open like it'll swallow him whole. The yellow panels hiding the exoskeleton matted with dust and dirt, some kind of mucus dripping from the joints of exposed wire and twisted metal.

He winces as he hears the table be splintered from heavy force. His legs and chest ache, he's been in a dead sprint for way too long.

He rounds a corner and FUCK he's trapped himself. It's a dead end. Echoing deep laughter fills the air and his heart with terror. Whipping his head around, he finds it right behind him.

Claws that look as sharp as knives slash down at his head with heart-stopping speed. Adrenaline and survival instinct take over his brain and body, leaning away. He moves quick enough to avoid the brunt of the attack, but who would have guessed that a hunk of moving metal is fucking strong?

The claws still get him enough for its power to send him flat on his ass. His hood falls off his head. His cheek stings at three different points. His mask drops to the floor. Warm, sticky blood runs down his cheek.

Oh fuck.

Staring up at the monster with wild eyes, Casey scrambles back on his ass as far as he can go, throwing one of his non-exploding pucks. It bounces harmlessly off its metal chest, but it screams, and raises its claws again. He full-body flinches, all out of useful weapons and luck. Barring a miracle, but since when do miracles come to Casey Jones?

This is how he dies.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-

The screaming stops.

Heart still racing, Casey lets his eyes open. The monster is still poised to strike. It closes its claws. Lowers its hand. The arms go limp. Blood leaks from its eye sockets, foul and disgusting. It falls down the face... close to how tears do.

Casey stares at the frozen monster. Confusion rings in him.

And then... in a voice distinctly brokenly robotic... and small... and so painfully familiar... it says,

"Casey?"

How the...?

Casey feels his jaw drop. His eyes burn with tears, and they fall with the blood on his cheek. He knows that voice. He knows that fucking voice. It doesn't matter how long it's been, he would recognize her anywhere.

No. No, no no no, that can't be. It's impossible, it has to be. How could it?!

And yet...

".... Rose?"

The tears come faster as something deep in his very soul feels like it put itself back together before shattering again. The blood leaking from the monster's eye sockets comes harder, thicker. Staining the soiled metal.

Blue eyes, a shade of blue he never thought he'd see again, flicker into existence in the dead space of the eye sockets. Those eyes haunt him in every memory. Every picture he struggles to look at.

Rose.

She's been here this whole time. She's been here this whole time.

She's a ghost. She has to be.

She was murdered. He knew it.

And she's been stuck here.

The monster... he's not sure whether to call it a monster or to call it Rose, it doesn't look like his twin but it is his twin... steps forward. Shakily. The blood imitating tears comes hard and fast.

A ninja star flies through the air between them, embedded itself into the wall. Rose's blue eyes vanish in an instant, screaming and flexing her robotic claws.

April calls his name, grabbing his hand and running.

Donnie and Mikey keep ushering them forward. They're talking to Leo and Raph on the comms.

They're being chased. They gotta get out.

But...

Casey looks back.

Rose is chasing them, a rundown yellow chicken with a bib running beside her. She's screaming, but even through the warbled metallic voice, he can hear his name. She's calling for him. She's crying.

...

Casey shudders, gripping April's hand tight. He fucking runs. He ignores the salty tears and sticky blood. Ignores the shrieks and screams of the haunted place of his nightmares.

Casey runs.

And he leaves his sister behind again.