★ Furry Pawter ~ AU Humor

Preface:
This is a Harry Potter AU which follows the timeline of the books from The Sorcerer's Stone (Philosopher's Stone) to The Deathly Hallows.

Dedicated To::
Siriusly_Loony for being a splendid reader of Reminiscence. I love reading all of your comments pal!


It was a beautiful and cozy summer day. The perfect season for cats like me.

Oh well, where are my manners? I am Pawter, Furry Pawter! I am an handsome black cat with messy fur – the meaning behind my name – and dazzling emerald eyes which can make any feline in her right mind fall for me.

And that's part of my time pass activities: charming female felines.

Meow!

Anypaw, me and my other meow-tastic furends, Romew Whiskers and Hermicat Clawver never have the quietest of lives. Purr-oblem loves to find us and take all the nine lives of cats like us.

The first year, we were tiny lil' kits, going to the huge cathouse-cum-school: Paworts School of Nine Life Magic. You know what? That was the year when three little kittens had to face their worst nightmare: a dog; let alone, a three headed one, meow!

There went one of our life. Eight bar nine, note it.

And then, it was our second year and we were still kittens. Our whiskers merely aged when we were forced into more misadventures. Hermicat was petrified by another rival of us, cats: basilisk. Romew's little kit sister, Felinny Whisker was paw-napped by the baddie No-paw-mort! Me, being the charming hero I am, dived into a slide, travelled through bones and snake skins and used my sharp nails to scratch the basilisk and kill it.

Bye to the another life of ours. We were left hanging with the magical number. Seven lives left to go to Coucheaven.

Third year, we returned, whiskers growing lightly and claws sharpening. As teen cats, we had to face creatures often featured in fictions human teenagers oh, so love to read about. Yep, you guessed it right: werecat.

Turns out my pawfather was not even the criminal he was made to be! And his friend suddenly morphed into a werecat that other night when me and my friends decided (intentionally!) to get into another midnight misadventure. Unfortunately, the real culprit escaped. That rat!

Did I mention that I was under a huge risk because of the good werecat? No? Now you know it then. Another life gone. Six left!

Fourth year. Then came the twist. Our Headmaster, Professor Alpuss Dumblebored had asked me, calmly, 'Furry, did ya put ya name in the Goblet of Fur?'

And I replied: 'Mi!'

Surely he didn't understand; the reason why I was forced to take part in the Tricat Tournament. I almost burnt my tail off in each and every task! From huge fire-breathing wildcats to mercats and numerous other felines of the wilderness, I managed to escape them all by a whisker! You heard me, a whisker, meow! To top it all, Cedlick Sleepory was killed brutally by No-Paw-Mort (he's back in whiskers and tail!). See ya in Coucheaven, mate.

Five lives. Note it down before you forget. You are gonna need it.

Fifth year. Ah, our tails were growing even more and my green eyes laid on this Scratchang, Mio Scratchang. She was just an emotional cat. I'd rather not purr about her. It was wet and Furry baby me hates water (meow!).

Anypaw, we met a new feline gal, Tuna Lovemilk. She's so different!

Then, there was this cat army which my friends and yours truly formed to defend ourselves against the wildcat, Umbrieow. She tortured us, cats and we had to keep our teeth shut but most of all, I lost my pawfather, Sirimeowsly Blackcat. . .

I'm going to kill No-Paw-Mort for it!

Here comes my sixth year with the end of my fourth life. Ah, what do I purr about this? It was filled with dramas. Yes, dramas. Romew Whiskers and Hermicat Prowlger fought because they were damn oblivious to the other's feelings. Furry Pawter (yes, me!) fell for his future wife, Felinny Whisker. Meowile Longtail, the usually timid bloke, hardened himself. And Tuna was. . . well, Tuna.

The most important one here was that Alpuss Dumblebored started training me to face No-Paw-Mort which included excursions to the faded memories of the pawst. Too boring, Dumblebored agreed too. The saddest fact of that year was that Dumblebored was scratched brutally and all of his nine lives came to an end. Icicles hung from my whiskers the day of bidding him farewell.

Fourth life, sayonara.

There was a transition into the most dangerous year of my life. I could not go back to Paworts; I lost my third life in the Battle of Pawters;  I had to tell goodbye to the love of my paw, Felinny, because I was unsure of ever making it back; I was forced to complete the task Dumblebored left me; Romew and Hermicat accompanied me but Romew got into a scratch fight with us and left, leaving the brown furred cat heartbroken beyond repair; I visited the place where my parents, Taily and Yarns Pawter lay; I fought No-Paw-Mort's reptile and missed losing another one of my life by a whisker. The only good thing was that Romew returned.

Then came the climax: the Battle of Paworts. The fight of the good felines against the bad breeds.

Several lives were sacrificed. Some were saved by a whisker, others, doomed. Romew's brother, Red Whisker was murdered along with my good werecat friend, Meowmus Werepin and his wife Mionks. Their son, Kitty was orphaned like me. . .but he had his Pawfather who walked to his own death. Yep, I did.

My four paws hesitantly walked me to my death at the hands of No-Paw-Mort. At the last moment, when the curse hit me, I remembered (just before I fell thinking about Felinny) that I still had two lives. . .

I came back to life again and got rid of No-Paw-Mort with a powerful repellant: the yarn core wand.

With one furmidable life, I was united with Romew, Hermicat, Felinny, Meowile and Tuna. My one life is going exceptionally well.

I'm married to Felinny with three tiny kits, Yarns Seriously Pawter, Severpuss Alpuss Pawter and Taily Tuna Pawter. I'm the Head Cat at the defense department of the Ministry. Romew and Hermicat married too and Meowile is a pawfessor at Paworts. Tuna is happily hunting Yarns and married to Lolf Scapawnder. It's all going good now and I'm glad.

What can I say? I am a happy cat.

I came across a fanart featuring the hp characters as cats. It was about a month or two ago so I don't have the photo. This story was inspired by that fanart. However, I created the names and it sure was fun to bring up cat related names lol.

Here's a key to the names in case you didn't get them:
—Furry Pawter (Harry Potter)
—Romew Whiskers (Ron Weasley)
—Hermicat Prowlger (Hermione Granger)
—Lord No-Paw-Mort (Lord Voldemort/Tom Riddle)
Felinny Whiskers (Ginny Weasley)
—Alpuss Dumblebore (Albus Dumbledore)
Sirimeowsly Blackcat (Sirius Black)
Meowmus Werepin (Remus Lupin)
Cedlick Sleepory (Cedric Diggory)
—Mio Scratchang (Cho Chang)
—Tuna Lovemilk (Luna Lovegood)
Meowile Longtail (Neville Longbottom)
Mionks (Tonks)
Umbrieow (Umbridge)
—Taily Pawter (Lily Potter I)
—Yarns Pawter (James Potter I)
—Red Whisker (Fred Weasley)
—Kitty Werepin (Teddy Lupin)
—Yarns Sirimeowsly Pawter (James Sirius Potter/James Potter II)
—Alpuss Severpuss Pawter (Albus Severus Potter)
Taily Tuna Pawter (Lily Potter/Lily Potter II)
Lolf Scapawnder (Rolf Scamander)

Fun fact: Romew is based on Romeo lol. Finding names for Ron and Hermione were the toughest and Hermicat is pronounced just like Hermione (Her-my-cat).

Also the spelling mistakes are intentional to bring a cat-world effect to the story.

That would have been the longest A/N XD

Thank you for reading!

Miyoko x

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