// Castiel

Morning sunlight found it's way through the half-closed blinds in Castiel's room and he became aware of the overheating of his legs where the light was hitting. Internally cursing the sun, Castiel moved his legs, trying to escape the unwanted heat when his knee hit something solid. It was then he noticed the weight of someone's arm draped across his waist and the soft breath hitting his forehead.

He quickly opened his eyes and was met with dozens of freckles scattered across Dean's face. His eyelashes fanned peacefully against his cheeks; mouth slightly opened into a pout. Castiel was at a loss for words.

All form of fatigue quickly left his body and he found himself become more intrigued with the image before him. Everything was quiet, minus the sound of birds singing outside, and he felt so at home. Yes, of course because he was in his house and this was his bed, but he had always felt so alone before; always reaching out to the opposite side of the bed; always looking for something- someone that wasn't there. Now he had this strange feeling in his chest and it hurt.

Castiel couldn't stop himself from smiling. He didn't know why he was this happy. He didn't have any of his memories back. He didn't have any knowledge of his first kiss with Dean or when Dean proposed or when he was in the accident. Dean was practically a stranger to him. He should be panicking.

But Dean was opening his eyes and the pain was only getting worse. Green met blue and all the world's problems were solved when Dean smiled. It was such a soft smile, almost nothing, but it made Castiel's chest tighten and he had to remind himself to breathe.

"Morning." Dean whispered.

"Hi." he replied in the same tone.

The arm around his waist tightened and he was brought closer to Dean's chest. Castiel's head fit itself underneath Dean's chin and placed his hands on his chest by default and stared at the gray fabric of Dean's shirt. He smelled like one of those car refresheners; not the kind that make your head hurt, but the subtle kind, that you don't really notice until you've gotten used to it.

And Castiel could get used to this.

"I'm sorry." Dean said, breaking the small silence. "For not telling you right away." Castiel hummed and slowly moved his thumb back and forth across Dean's chest. He knew he couldn't just forgive him so easily, but part of him wanted to.

"How did it happen?" He found himself asking. He felt Dean's arm tense around his waist.

"Cas, I-,"

"Dean...I need to know." Castiel pressed. "If we're really going to try and start over I at least need to know how and why I lost my memory." He moved both his thumbs in circles to help Dean relax. The arm around his tense loosened slightly and Dean inhaled.

"I wasn't there when it happened," he began, rubbing his own circles into Castiel's side. "You were at your um, bachelor party, and I just got a call you were in an accident. I got to the hospital as quickly as I could but they wouldn't let me see you. Only one of your friends were there and I asked what happened. He told me everything was going fine, you hadn't drank too much and I guess I forgot milk or something so you went yourself...it's all my fault."

"Dean no." Castiel's hands curled into fists into Dean's shirt and he moved back to look at him. "Do not blame yourself for what happened to me. It's not your fault. It was nobody's fault, okay?"

Dean's eyes were watering and he wasn't looking at him, choosing to focus on the wall behind them. Castiel placed a hand on Dean's chin and lowered his head.

"Hey...it's okay. I'm here and I'm okay, for the most part anyway, but you're here too." He smiled softly at him. "We're here together and we'll fix this. I want this to work out, Dean. I really do."

Dean let out a laugh and tears spilled from his eyes. He began sniffling and gave Castiel a dewy smile.

"Can I- can I kiss you?" He asked in such a hushed tone Castiel almost missed it. He nodded and then he felt the weight of Dean's lips against his.

Castiel gasped a little and his hand tightened around Dean's shirt. Their lips moved softly together, taking in everything the could. They wanted this moment to last a life time.

As the kiss progressed, Dean's hand moved to firmly rest against his waist and he moved them so he was on top of Castiel. They soon pulled away and were left to just stare at each other. Their breathing wasn't too bad since the kiss wasn't too intense, but Dean looked blown away. They were still so close together that Castiel could feel Dean's breath on his lips.

"Cas...can I kiss you again?"

Castiel nodded a little too quickly that time and Dean's lips were on his again, much stronger than before. He sucked in a deep breath through his nose and placed his hands on Dean's jaw.

The hand on his waist tightened and he felt Dean's tongue lick his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Castiel obliged and let Dean's tongue explore his mouth. His fingers carded through Dean's hair as his bottom lip was caught in between teeth and was currently being sucked on.

Dean moved away and began kissing down his jaw to his neck, biting down every once in a while. Castiel closed his eyes and bit his lip, letting his arousal take over his body. He could feel Dean getting hard against his leg.

It wasn't until he felt Dean's knee move up between his legs and rub against his own member, causing him to moan that he realized what was happening. He quickly opened his eyes and pushed Dean's shoulders back a little.

"Dean I- " he moaned again as Dean's knee rubbed harder. "I can't, Dean."

Dean moved off of him at lighting speed and immediately started searching Castiel's face for any sign of pain.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He started blabbering, fearing he did something wrong. Castiel sat up and held Dean's face between his hands.

"No, no, of course not. I'm okay it's just," he looked down onto the bed "...I'm not ready yet." He felt ashamed at the words. Dean was going to be mad. He was going to hate him. He was going to leave. H-

Dean took his hands into his own and kissed them. He lifted Castiel's head and kissed him softer than the first time.

"I completely understand." He whispered when he pulled away. "Don't ever feel that this is an obligation. I can wait." Castiel smiled and nodded, happiness bubbling inside him.

"Promise me that if you're ever feeling forced or uncomfortable with anything, you'll tell me." Dean said, his soft expression changing into a serious one.

"I promise." Castiel whispered and kissed him again.

A large crash came from the kitchen and Castiel squeaked in surprise, pulling away from Dean. They rushed to locate the reason for the sound and found Cotton atop the cupboard and a mug on the floor, smashed into pieces.

Cotton stared at them before slowly pushing another mug off. Dean lunged forward and thankfully caught it. Castiel glared at the cat and began scolding him for being so destructive.

"I think it's because he hasn't eaten." Dean came to the conclusion. He excused himself to the bathroom to take care of his...issue. Castiel's own erection had calmed and he began opening the cat food can and pouring its contents into Cotton's food bowl.

Cotton happily pounced onto the floor and began devouring his food like there was no tomorrow. Castiel smiled and turned on the coffee machine he had, letting the water heat up. He opened the fridge and pulled out three eggs and a pack of bacon. He poured some oil in a small pan and put it on the stove to heat up.  He pulled the bacon out of it's packaging and started looking for a knife.

Dean came out of the bathroom and immediately wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist in a back hug.

"Let me make you breakfast." He whispered. Castiel smiled and shook his head.

"I've already started, Dean." But before he could say anything else, he was being pulled away and saw Dean put the bacon away. He grabbed a few more things and started making a pancake mix. He blinked once, once I tell you! And they were seated at the table eating chocolate chip pancakes, coffee and all. Cotton had finished eating and proceeded to rub himself against Castiel's leg before moving and doing the same to Dean.

Castiel was taken back by how domestic this was. All he could do was stare at Dean and think about how he truly wanted to be happy with this man. A light breeze was blowing through a half-opened window and everything was perfect. Dean must have noticed him staring because he looked up at him, mouth full of pancake and smiled at him. The pain in Castiel's chest swelled, but he didn't care.

He could get used to this.

Hello again.

I know, I know, it's been a long time. I was seriously planning on giving this up for good. I still don't know where I got the inspiration to write this chapter from. But I'm so glad I did. Writing this helped me wire down from the outside world. My life is much calmer than when I left. Nothing much has changed except now I'm BTS trash, yoongi biased, yoonmin stanned, and constantly giving lots of love and support to the underrated members of the band.

I really appreciate those who've stayed with me through the time I was gone. Thank you so so much, I love you to bits.

I don't know if this is a permanent comeback or if I'll disappear again. I've been re-reading my works and thank you all so much for supporting them even though they're cringy as heck! Everything needs major editing, including this chapter. As I haven't written anything like this since I've been away, I'm really really really rusty, so please excuse any hiccups you see. I may or may not come back to edit this later.

Thank you all for taking the time to read this!

Ana.