I was about to follow her outside when Rinnic held me back with a firm grip on my shoulder. "Boy, the next time you enter a man's hut, you take care to show the proper respect."

I glared at him.

Instead of hitting me, he crouched down in front of me. "Remi, I admire your spirit. But you must act wisely. You would have been beaten for barging in and making demands in anyone else's home. Remember that."

My lower lip protruded into a pout, but he was right. I was lucky Rinnic wasn't like the others. I gave him a grudging nod, and out we went.

We found Rinnic's mother pressing an ear against Ma's chest. She lifted her head when we entered, a solemn expression on her face. "I'm sorry, Remi."

I couldn't understand what she was saying. "She's strong, like me. She can pull through, right? You can give her something."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but it's too late. She's gone."

"She can't be gone!" My voice warbled. "She's right here!"

They watched with sad eyes as I picked up my mother's cold hand and shook it. "Ma, I'm home. You can wake up now!" I shook it harder. "Ma!"

Fresh tears welled in my eyes. I was too late. She died because I wasn't here to take care of her. I dropped her hand and clenched my fists so tightly they shook. She died because Pode sent me away on a stupid mission. This was his fault.

"I'm going to kill Pode," I whispered.

"Thank you, mother. I'll take it from here." Rinnic rubbed her back and guided her out the doorway. When he faced me, his mouth was set in a stern line. "I understand your rage, but you have to be smart. You can't say things like that." He tapped his temple. "You can think them, but you don't say them. You understand me?"

Hot air rushed in and out of my flared nostrils. I wanted to punch Pode until he couldn't see anymore. Until he choked on his own blood.

Rinnic sighed. "Your mother was a good woman. I'll see that she gets a proper burial in the morning."

Then he left me alone.

I stared out the doorway into the dark night.

I was utterly alone.

I stared at my mother's unmoving body. Sat on my bed, unblinking. Maybe if I paid attention hard enough, I could see her move. The herbalist was wrong. Rinnic was wrong. She wouldn't need burial in the morning. Just a good meal, because she was going to wake up and apologize for sleeping so deeply and scaring me.

My own breath grated against my ears, each rasp reminding me of what I refused to acknowledge.

The torch grew dimmer.

My eyes grew heavier.

I don't know which went out first, the torch, or me.

At some point, I must have crawled under the covers, because in the morning I found myself curled into a ball under the furs. I snuggled into the warmth, blissfully oblivious.

Until I remembered.

"Ma!" I jolted out of bed and hurried to her bedside.

She looked the same as before. Completely still. Only grayer.

The weight in my heart became so unbearable I thought it might flop out of my chest and plunge a crater into the ground.

I knew. I didn't want to know it, but I knew.

She wouldn't eat or blink or laugh ever again.

My mother was gone.

Gone, gone, gone.

No tears came. I sank to the floor on my knees, my head bowed, my limbs like stewed cartilage. What was I supposed to do now? Serve as a slave-scout to a tribe who didn't appreciate me?

No way. Not anymore.

No self-pity for this boy! He deserves all the votes!