Chapter Fifteen: Coregulation

"Holy-" My eyes lit up as I looked over at Garroth, "These are amazing!"

He laughed lightly as he took another bite of one of the cinnamon rolls, his cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk as he chewed up the piece.

I giggled before tearing off another piece, following the swirl pattern, "You're crazy for eating it like that."

"Like what?" He muffled, his free hand blocking my view from his mouth.

I snorted, pointing at his roll, "You are eating it like that. Just munching into it."

Garroth rolled his eyes before he took another bite, "Fight me, Alaina."

"You wouldn't win if we fought," I said, tearing off a second piece, "Besides, it's just weird doing it like that."

"Not really? We eat food like this anyway, what's the shape got to do with it?"

"Do you eat stick foods like pretzels or something from the middle?"

"Sometimes-"

"That's even worse!" I laughed, waving my arms at him, "Why!?"

He looked so confused as he shook his head at me, "It's food! What else am I going to do with it!? Just sit there like 'hmmmmm'." He put his chin into his hand and leaned forward, "'Do I eat from this side or this side? I got it! Both at the same time!' Problem solved!"

I rolled my eyes, "Do I eat from this side or this side? Bleh blah," I sarcastically repeated as he shifted to next to me.

"Want to know a better way to eat it then?" He smirked.

I looked up at him and rose a brow, "What's that?"

His hand gently rested underneath my cinnamon hand before he suddenly shoved our hands up, the roll hitting me in the nose and mouth. I gasped, the icing sticking to my nose and lips. My eyes opened wide as my head slowly turned to him.

"You did not-"

He started laughing, seeing my face. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. It was funny but now I was... sticky.

"oh yeah!?" I said, grabbing his hand to do it back to him. He held his arm still, not letting me move it. I huffed, looking at him.

He leaned his face towards me and smirked, "Ha."

My eyes narrowed before I pushed my face against his, smothering the icing from my face onto his.

"Alaina-!" He sputtered, his eyes squeezing shut as he pulled his face away. His face scrunched up and relaxed before he looked at me. His jaw had dropped in surprise as I started giggling.

He looked ridiculous: the icing on his upper cheekbone and the bridge of his nose glistened. I giggled before eating the rest of my icing-less cinnamon roll. He didn't say anything as he finished his as well.

"We match," I commented, trying to wipe the icing off my face. Smothering it on his face smothered it over mine and the globs of icing didn't exist anymore.

He looked at me before he chuckled, "I think you still have more on your face than I do."

"Hush." I giggled, wiping my fingers under my nose.

Garroth chuckled before he stood up, "Why did you do that," He asked.

"You started it," I laughed, looking up at him. "You pushed my roll in my face. Not my fault that I thought you should wear it too."

He rolled his eyes with a smile, "You look ridiculous trying to get that off."

I snickered as I pointed up at his face, "You look like a tree sapped on you."

He crossed his eyes as he tried to look at his nose. After a moment he gave up and laughed, "Yeah, yeah." He reached a hand to me, "Come here."

My hand grabbed his as I giggled, him pulling me up. "What?" I asked, looking at his other hand grabbed his bandana.

"You need to get it off." He simply said.

"You do too," I pointed out, wiping off one of the globs from his face with my finger. I held my finger in front of his face, "See?"

Garroth paused before he opened his mouth and ate it off my finger. I laughed, instantly pulling my finger out of his mouth.

"EW!"

"It's icing, Alaina! No use in wasting it!" He laughed, "YOU held it in MY face!" Garroth said with a big grin.

I scrunched my face at him before he handed the bandana to me. I looked at it for a second before looking at him. "Here. I'll get it off your face because you can't see it."

"You don't have to," he chuckled, "I can see it."

"No, you can't." I instantly shook my head with a giggle, "Then where is it?"

"uh..."

"My point exactly!" I said.

He rolled his eyes before looking at my face, "You get it off your face first," He said, stepping back so I couldn't do his first.

"Fine." I said, raising it to my face. I wiped at the somewhat damp icing, getting most of it off before handing it to him.

He chuckled as he wiped it from his cheek and the rest from his nose before putting his bandana back in his side pocket. I glanced down the pier, my arms lightly crossing over my chest. I bit my lip softly before looking away, walking over to where Garroth had started to move to. He glanced back at me.

"You okay to go up to Jessica's?" He asked.

I nodded, looking up at him, "Yeah. I'm good," I said, giving him a smile to assure it.

Garroth's head nodded before he half turned, "Let's go then."

We didn't talk much on the way up, my feet lightly scraped against the stone path on purpose. He didn't say anything about it as he picked his feet up with every step. His eyes watched ahead of the path as I looked where he was looking. Jessica's house was up ahead, the same odd structure now seemed lighter than it did before, the spruce color not as dark but looked a molten caramel color. A few feet into the open area I could see Jessica and Katelyn standing together talking. I bit my lip as I looked at Garroth.

He stood more confidently than I did, his arms to his sides relaxed rather than crossed in front of him. His strides were a little cleaner and his head somewhat square with his shoulders. I pulled my head up to be in line with my shoulders, my arms slowly falling to my sides as I walked. I started to let my toes be the first part of my foot down, rolling to my heel in a light, quiet manner. Garroth immediately noticed the change and chuckled. He let his arm swing back to touch mine. I glanced up at him and smiled, my height a little closer to his. My chin touched his shoulder rather than my nose and I could see over his shoulder to the other side of the path.

"Ready?" Garroth quietly asked.

I nodded, "Yeah." I said softly before he nodded back. He looked over at the patio entrance.

The two women's heads turned as they must have heard Garroth's steps. Jessica's face somewhat lit up as she walked over.

"Good morning, Garroth!" She grinned, her gaze then turning to me, "And good morning to you too, Alaina!" Her voice calmed as she continued to talk to us.

"Good morning, Lady Jessica," I said cheerfully, putting any effort forward to make a better impression.

She grinned before letting us come onto the deck.

Katelyn had her arms crossed as she looked out over the edge of the ledge. A glance from Jessica made me want to shrink back into my skin. These two had a powerful air around them and I felt like nothing compared to it. Jessica and Garroth started to talk. Garroth had told her about what the guards had said overnight, her nodding as she listened along.

Katelyn didn't budge at any of the words. She didn't gaze back to show she was listening, so I couldn't tell if she was or not. She was stone still, nothing coming from her and it made it almost intriguing to me.

I started to remember the looks she gave off, kind of like how I felt listening to the council's when I would tag along with my dad: Stoic but confident men and women from around the area discussing things that they had noticed and things that they felt were important to discuss.

Nothing really changed with the aftermaths of those meetings... I didn't understand why they would have meetings but not change anything. Dad's rambling to my mom about it at night were how I knew nothing was happening. He always wanted to vouch for change but that would change the hierarchy entirely, and that would take everyone's position down a notch. I glanced back at her.

Katelyn stared at me; her icy blue eyes didn't budge as her body had completely turned around. There was nothing I could read from her to know what she was thinking.

"You should be good for the rest of the day until the meeting, Garroth." Jessica's voice cut through the stare as I looked away from Katelyn and back to the other two. Jessica looked over at me and pulled up a smile, "Will you be coming tonight, miss Alaina?" She asked.

I looked at her before responding, "If you would like me to be there, I am open to do so."

An almost surprised tone took over her words as she nodded, "Then we will see you here at seven tonight," She smiled.

My head nodded in agreement before glancing at Garroth. He chuckled before looking at Jessica, "We'll see you later then."

"See you then," She responded with a smile before looking back at Katelyn. She walked over to her and the two resumed their conversation.

Garroth turned to me with a quiet face, "Ready to go?" He asked, not looking over at the girls.

My eyes glanced back at Katelyn as her eyes glanced at me, her icy stare hitting me like a storm. I didn't budge for a moment before I turned to Garroth with a nod, "Yeah, I'm ready."

He nodded before the two of us walked away. He mentioned about the meeting, explaining what it was going to be over.

"It's most likely going to be about what villages around us are doing and what is going on with FalconClaw. Lord Aaron came back a couple days ago so he is probably going to be at the meeting as well. We-" He continued to talk as we walked, my mind starting to wander from the conversation.

I wasn't paying attention. The looks were starting to get on a nerve in my head, eating away at who I was. The way they looked at me the first time they saw me, how they knew who I was. How did Jessica know my name? Why does Katelyn seem to want me to disappear? It isn't friendly and that's all I could be certain about...

"-Are you listening?" He asked, his voice a little distant. His footsteps had stopped and mine were the only ones that were moving.

My face turned beet red as I stopped and slowly turned around to see how far he was from me. He was stopped by a side road that led into the square and I was on the main road towards the station. I started walking back to him.

"I'm sorry..." I said softly, standing a few feet from him.

"It's okay..." He started, "I know, talking about meetings and probable subjects can get a little boring." He lightly tilted his head, "But you don't zone off like that..."

I shook my head, my arms crossing as I looked away, "I won't do it again. I'm sorry."

"Alaina, I'm not mad," He said softly as his steps came closer to me, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head again before looking back at the path. How I felt wasn't really needed. I shouldn't have zoned out in the first place.

My skin tightened on my cheek as I felt his hand touch it, slowly moving my head to face him. I looked up at him, seeing the look that resounded across his face. It wasn't upset or angry, not stoic or haughty like Katelyn or Lucinda, not entirely open like Laurance and Reed, but comforting.

"Going there is just a lot to process..." I softly said, my eyes looking anywhere but his face as I talked, "I have a feeling they both don't really like me..."

Garroth nodded softly, "I know Katelyn takes some time to unravel... she's always been like that." He moved his hand from my cheek as he stood next to me, "Jessica is a complicated person at times. She probably has a lot on her mind since she's taking on the role as a lord without any experience before so."

I bit my lip as I felt bad for saying anything, "So... I'm just being sensitive for people in a more stressful environment..." I said, disregarding any part of his statement that was positive.

He shook his head, "Not really... If you say it like that, you could be a little more aware of other people's emotions because it's a new environment and you don't want to mess up... it's natural."

I rose my head to look up at him. "Natural to feel like a klutz?"

Garroth gently chuckled, "Natural to feel out of place in a new village."

I sighed softly before bumping his arm lightly, "It's exhausting..."

He nodded quietly before looking around us. He looked back down at me before taking in a breath.

"Want to head back to the station for the day? Might be a little less stressful..."

I don't know how I feel about that... I don't really want to see anyone there in the first place.

"Sure." I said. Maybe I didn't want to be there, but I also didn't want to argue and explain how I felt when where I'm at is a gift in the first place... without Katelyn, or Jessica, or Garroth, or practically anyone, I and everyone else from Meteli would still be sitting in that swamp looking at the destroyed remnants of the village.

He nodded quietly before leading me back to the station. When we got there, it was empty and all the lanterns were blown out. There was plenty of light pouring in through the windows but it still felt dark as well.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Garroth asked, his head tilting down to look at me.

How do I tell him no? There is absolutely no reason I should feel the way I feel. There is no reason I want to get out. I lightly brushed my side against his as I sat down at one of the tables.

"I'm okay," I said, pulling up the best smile I could muster, "Promise."

Garroth looked a little downhearted for a moment, a feeling aching in my chest as I felt he knew I was lying. He nodded softly before taking a seat next to me.

"I guess now just wait until six or so..." He said as he looked over at me.

"Yeah... until everyone she has coming sits in a circle and talks about their feelings," I tried to make a joke out of it to make him smile. Maybe his smile would help me find mine for a bit.

He quietly chuckled, a small grin etching from the corner of his lip, "Basically."

I giggled softly as I turned to him for a moment. He looked at me, seeing the look of wanting to say something in my face. I bit my lip before looking at my hands in front of me.

"Could... we do that thing again?" I asked.

"What thing are you mentioning?" Garroth asked, his body turning to me as he gave his attention to me.

"That... thing we did by the river...?" I said, not able to remember what it was called.

"There's a lot of things we've done by rivers," He gently smiled, "Which one are you referring to?"

"The- The thing! With the hands and sitting and the doe-me-say- kind of-" I felt like an idiot trying to remember what it was. I looked at him and saw a smile on his face. I frowned, "This is hilarious to you, isn't it."

"Very." He said before he stood, "How about you show me what you mean?"

I looked at him before standing up with him. "Okay?"

He followed me over to a clear space on the floor away from the main walking area. I sat down and he sat in front of me.

"It was the other day... um-" I bit my lip and looked at him before he chuckled. He took off his sheath and sword, as well as his vest and set them beside him.

"I think I know what you mean now. Here-" He held his hands out to me, "You'll need to be closer."

I scooted over to him, sitting on my knees and ankles in front of him. I looked at him as he looked at me.

"May I ask why you want to do this?" He said, matching the way I was sitting. His knees touched mine as he settled, looking at me.

I bit my lip before looking down, "It's... calming..." I said softly, "I know I said I was okay but I just... everything in my head is getting to me... I don't feel ready to talk about it but it's eating at me."

He nodded as he looked at my hands, gently holding his out with his palms upward. "Well, if it helps you calm down, I'm more than willing to do this any time." He smiled lightly as he looked back up. His face was calm and I felt a pull towards him. I put my hands in his, looking up at him for a second.

He smiled as he took in a breath as I followed his lead. It was a breath in then a breath out. After a few cycles of breathing I shifted, crisscrossing my legs to sit in a more comfortable position. Garroth chuckled as he did the same, sitting the same way. We sat there for a while in silence before my nerves calmed. He started to talk as I felt drawn away from the events of the last couple months. I giggled, my shoulders relaxing as we talked about the festivals back in O'Khasis, one of the forest explorations we had made up, and... my last few nights in Scaleswind.

I bit my lip as I let go of his hands, moving to sit next to him.

"There's... one thing that I wanted to ask you about... since I can remember stuff now..." I said, looking up at him.

"What's that?" He asked, his head tilted down to look at me.

I bit my lip as I looked at my lap, "Did you miss me? Like- when I stopped sending letters?"

His paused. His gaze was a little distant as it took him a moment to respond.

"Yes... I did."