In the morning, I stood from my position on my bed. I couldn't just sit there any longer. The flashbacks were pressing down on me. I needed something to do.

I walk towards the door leading to outside. "No breakfast?" I heard a voice call. I turn towards the kitchen, and saw Temari standing in the walkway. She smiles tentatively, and I nod to her.

I take some rice and eat the breakfast. "Where were you headed, Keira-chan?" Temari asked. Everyone looked towards me, and I averted my gaze, hating the attention.

"J-Just to train a b-bit," I reply.

"Cool, can I come?" Kankuro asked, mouth full. Temari hits him on the head.

"That's gross, Kankuro!" She scolds.

"Gomen," He mutters, swallowing. When she turns away he makes a face at her, and I smile slightly. Kankuro turns back to me. "Can I come?" He asks again.

"Oh, me too!" Temari calls from washing her dishes, "I need to work on some stuff as well,"

"Who am I to stop you?" I shrug.

We leave together, except for Gaara. He had work to do. "What do you want to work on first?" Kankuro asked.

"Uh..." It's been so long since I've done this.

"How 'bout we do taijutsu to warm up?" Temari sugests, "You can fight Keira first," She yawns, leaning against a training dummy.

I run towards Kankuro and try to punch him. He easily blocks. "Slow and weak!" He teases.

"Yeah, well you've been practicing for two and a half years while I've been stuck in a cell!" I kick towards him. Words seem to come easier while I becom distracted with fighting. The fight ends when he punches me in the stomach and I fall over, gasping for breath.

"Wow, you're really out of shape," Kankuro squints at me.

"I can't help it," I mutter. He raises an eyebrow but leaves me be. I walk over to a dummy to practice my justsu. I do wind and water type easily. Still have the hang of that, I think. I then do several hand signs.

"Lightning Style: Lightning Bolt!" It was a simple jutsu that simpley sent a strike of lightning from my hands to the opponent. But when I did it, the chakra simply sizzled out around me. I did it again, and again, but it wasn't working.

I stare in confusion at my hands, only to feel myself slowly slipping into a flashback.

Temari's P.O.V

Kankuro threw a kunai at it me, and I dodged it, laughing mockingly at him. I turned around, eyes widening as I saw who the Kunai was headed towards. Keira. "Keira, look out!" I shout with Kankuro.

She doesn't even react, just standing there, hands at her sides and staring blankly ahead. The Kunai grazes her right arms, and she stands their, unflinching. Me and Kankuro run up to her.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have thrown it so carelessly," Kankuro apologizes. She doesn't seem to notice him.

"I can bandage that if you want, Keira... Keira?" I call out when she keeps staring ahead. "Keira!" That blank, dead look suddenly triggers something in my memory. Kankuro looks at me at the same time. "Get Gaara," I breathe, eyes wide.

He runs off, and place my hands on Keira's shoulders, looking into her eyes. I bent down slightly so I could be at her height, which I realized was rather short. She begins to whimper slightly, though her eyes remain locked on something I can't see.

She trembles slightly, continuously whimpering. She suddenly screams, right as Gaara and Kankuro appear. Gaara shoves me aside slightly, though I take no offense. He's whispering in her ear, hugging her tightly.

I faintly pick up the words. "I won't let you drown, Keira. We can make it through this together. C'mon, I've found you, now let me lead you home,"

Tears spring to my eyes as I witness this beautiful yet broken moment. He loves her so much... he's changed so much... It was heart wrenching.

I smile as Keira slowly lifts her arms, hugging him back. Me and Kankuro look at each other, then nod and jump away. We were of no use here.

Keira's P.O.V

I hugged Gaara back, pushing down whimpers and sobs. He slowly drags us down to the ground, still holding on to me. He rubs my back in soothing circles as I choke on my own breath. "What was it about?" He murmured.

I was silent, and he didn't push for an answer. As the silence stretched and he resigned himself to not knowing, I whispered, "Orochimaru," I shudder. "H-he was about... about to do an experiment on me..."

I feel Gaara's protective hands clench a little tighter onto me. "What was the experiment for?" He asked, surprisingly calm.

I stiffen, eyes going slightly wild as I remember. I fight against Gaara's hold on me, but he simply locks his arms together and holds me until I calm down. He doesn't ask the question again, knowing I heard.

"It was almost an... anti-experiment," I shiver. He rubs my arms comfortingly, not talking, just listening. And watching. Just there. Not leaving. "He... he thought I was to powerful... it scared him... he thought I would be to dangerous, uncontrollable..."

I stop for a moment, unable to go on. It was painful, like expelling poison from a wound. But I felt like relief would come after I told Gaara, like when your body is free from the poison. But I didn't know how to continue.

"So what did this experiment do?" Gaara asked carefully. I took in a shuddering breath.

"I don't understand how... but he somehow took away my lightning release. I can't use lightning nature chakra anymore," I admit.

He ponders for a moment. "You already had three chakra nature types: Water, Wind, and Lightning. That's above average, having three chakra natures, though not unheard of. So by taking away one of your chakra natures, he really just--"

"Made me a little more normal, average..." I spit out. "Useless."

"You certainly aren't any of those. You still have your wings, you brain, your songs, and your incredible speed," I cringe slightly, and he notices but decides to let it go. "Will you do something for me?" He asks. I hesitantly nod.

"Fly," He asks. I look at him in confusion. "Hasn't it been long since you've stretched your wings and simply... flew?" I nod slowly, and he lets me go, standing up. I stand as well, ignoring his outstretched hand, and the look of hurt in his eyes as I do.

I turn away from Gaara, facing an empty field. I begin to sprint, building up speed until I threw myself into the air, pumping my wings up and down hard. I fly, feeling the sun warm my wings and the breeze playfully twist my hair.

I'm glad that Tsunade healed the holes left in my wings from Oro-- no, don't think of it! I command myself. I do loops and twirls, feeling the freedom that only flying can bring.

I look up as a shadow falls over me, seeing Gaara flying through the air, supported by his sand. I swoop closer to him, gliding close enough to see the awe in his eyes. I find myself smiling slightly, but I quickly wipe it off.

I land with a thud, turning away from him so he can't see the sadness in my eyes.

"You miss me, don't you?" I ask. "You miss how I used to be... you miss me, more than you show."

"Yes," Gaara admits.

"I don't know when my birthday is," I announce randomly. "I'm heading home now," I sigh, and begin walking.

That evening, I hear the door open. About ten minutes later, I hear Temari's voice call, "Dinner!" I trudge downstairs, then raise my eyes as I see the food. Hayashi Raisu, my favorite meal.

I sit and begin to eat. When I finish, Gaara quickly stands, walking into the kitchen and bringing something out. A small cake. He sets it in the middle of the table, a happy gleam on his eye.

Temari and Kankuro lean forward eagerly, viewing my expression. "Happy birthday, Keira," Temari smiles.

"B-birthday? How old am I?" I ask, eyes wide.

"You're sixteen, kid. Congrats," Kankuro slings an arm around me, which I push off.

I look around in shock. "How old are you guys?" I ask.

"Nineteen," Temari smiles.

Seventeen and a half," Kankuro smirks.

"I'm sixteen as well," Gaara says quietly.

"You're all older than me," I state. They all laugh slightly.

"Make a wish on the birthday cake," Kankuro urges.

What was I supposed to wish for? What do I want? I don't understand... Wish.... what do I wish for???

Minutes pass, and the silence grows uncomfortable as I ponder. What was I supposed to do? I wasn’t used to this. Well, I had never done it before. And, no matter how childish it was, I didn’t want to waste this wish.

I wish, I think hesitantly, and then squeeze my eyes shut, I wish to stop hurting.

I open my eyes, viewing everyone’s eager eyes. “What did you wish for?” Kankuro asked excitedly.

I opened my mouth, but was cut off by Temari. “No! Don’t tell him, or it doesn’t come true!” I nod, confused, but just go with it. Temari cuts a piece of cake for each of us and we eat in silence. Who knew that birthdays could be so awkward?

I finish the cake and stand, thinking we were finished. Temari stops me, dragging me back down into my chair. Childish excitement gleamed in her eyes as She pulls a package from under the table. “Sorry the wrapping is bad, We didn’t know until last second that we were having a birthday party!”

I take it, holding the present uncomfortably. “Um, thanks,” I mutter.

“Open it, silly!” She laughs. I lower my head, hiding my embarrassment. A cool pair of hands appear above the present, and they begin to gently tear open the paper. I look up with wide eyes to see Gaara, whose eyes were trained steadily on the package.

I help him open the present, and I cock my head slightly as I see a box. “Thanks…” I trail off.

“Do I have to do everything for you?” She teases, then opens the box as well. I peer inside, and see a package of shurikan and kunai. I take them and fill my weapons pouch, glad to feel the familiar weight. One last thing lays in there, and I pull them out.

Fans, a pair of fans. I pick them up, marveling at the way the weight was distributed so they were that much easier to carry. I raised them, snapped them open. Temari grinned, pulling them from my hand.

 “You’re a wind style user, so this will help amplify your jutsu. There's one more thing!" She informed me gleefully, pulling out one more package. I open it, and view the outfit she had purchased me.

There's a flowing white shirt, tan shorts that went down to mid thigh, A leather brown jacket, and A brown belt that went across my waist. 

http://data.whicdn.com/images/68801354/large.jpg (external link)

"See, you put you fans through the belt, and they stay there," Temari explains, showing me. I nod, not smiling. Why should I be happy over something as simple as clothes? I was more...content, at ease with weapons again, but I didn't care about the clothes.

"These clothes will be easier to fight in then what you have now," Temari pointed out. I nodded again, then went to change into the clothes. They fit perfectly. I put the fans in the belt, familarizing myself with them.

I walked back downstairs to see everyone sitting and waiting with me. Gaara stood as I walked into the room, coming over to me. He reached down to my thigh with a kunai, cutting the bandages that held my weapons pouch there. At the same time, he swiftly took my fans from me.

I look at him with a mix of confusion and outrage. Those were mine. "You're still unstable. I don't trust you with weapons," Gaara explains. I growl in the back of my throat, to low for anyone to hear as I sit down without complaint.

"Here ya go!" Kankuro passes  his present over to me, and I open it quickly, getting used to the pattern. Inside was something I hadn't seen in a long, long time.

Pocky.

Chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla assortment. A large package that I immidiately ripped open, sticking a chocolate stick in my mouth. "You're welcome," Kankuro laughs. I continue to munch on it as Temari and Kankuro wander away.

I glance outside. Wow, it was late. "Come here, Keira," Gaara beckoned. I grabbed another stick of pocky, wandering after Gaara. We arrive at the roof, and I look up at the stars, breathing in the fresh air.

"I, uh, dodn't know what to get you. But then I decided to make you something. Well, two things," Gaara produces a leather bracelet, and I walk forward, peering at it. In the place of a normal bead was an orb of sand.

A flashback hits me as fast as it leaves me. Gaara, giving me an orb of sand. Me, leaving it behind as he and I reject one another. The heartbreak I felt as I set it down on this same roof. 

Shaking off my childhood, I reach forward, baring my left wrist as he attaches it. He keeps my hand a half second to long, fingers skimming along an old scar.

He cleared his throat, both our arms falling back to our sides. "I made one more thing for you," He announced, pulling out a piece of paper. "I, well, I just thought, you usually write down how your feelings, so I decided to try it myself. This is what I got, so I'll just..."

He hesitantly opened his mouth, trembling words coming out. It was raspy, gravelly. His voice occasionally wavered out of tune, and he was often off key, but the emotion poured into the words made up for it.

Shock, horror, I'm down,
Lost, you're not around
There's a lump in my chest
That sends cold through my head, and
My mind shuts sound out
I'm on auto-pilot,
And my tongue's gone silent
Just switch it off and lay it down,
Lay it down next to me.

I don't know when I lost my mind
Maybe when I made you mine, whoa-oh-oh-oh
I don't know when I lost my mind
Maybe it was every time
That you said, you said, you said
That I miss you
And I miss you

These words mean nothing to me
I'm just sitting on a fence of how it used to be
These three words are aching,
Constrict them- suffocating
My mind is racing
With the picture I'm painting
And my belly's sick to it's stomach
When I remember all the times he was with you when you laid it down
You lay down next to me.

I don't know when I lost my mind
Maybe when I made you mine, whoa-oh-oh-oh
I don't know when I lost my mind
Maybe it was every time
That you said, you said, you said
That I miss you
More than I let on
I kissed you
Far too long
I'll let go as soon as you do
See I know we're not through

I don't know when I lost my mind
Maybe when I made you mine, whoa-oh-oh-oh
I don't know when I lost my mind
Maybe it was every time
That you said, you said, you said
That I miss you, that I miss you, whoa-oh-oh-oh.

I don't know when I lost my mind
Maybe it was every time
That you said, you said, you said
That I miss you.

I stare and stare and stare into his eyes, getting lost in their depths, drowning in their emotion. I'm slightly aware of Gaara leaning in as I stare. Suddenly, I stand ubruptly, shoving Gaara away and walking back inside.

I can practically hear his heart break. He des all this for me, put himself out there, make himself vulnerable, and I hurt him. I know I hurt him. But I don't have a choice. I would be hurt like him if I opened myself up.

I was aware of my heart aching and hurting, every beat of my heart causing it to stab itself on some invisible sword. I storm into my room, trying to shut everything out. I couldn't trust anyone! I couldn't let Gaara in!

Confusion whirled around me, but pressed agains the inside of my arm, held there by my jacket sleeve, was my anchor.

I pulled out the Kunai I had hidden in my sleeve, smiling as I walk towards the bathroom.

I was done with all this.

_________________________________________________

Chapter Five!

*sob*

TT.TT

No... No words... 

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gaara119