Song: How It Feels To Be Lost - Sleeping With Sirens

I am barely alert for a while. I stay motionless in Leonardo's arms, wishing I was safe at home in my bed. My head feels like a hammer bashed it in. Every part of me is freezing cold, especially my hands. The only thing I can think about is that huge, revolting spider. It had been right there, in my face. My biggest fear next to heights. A shudder crawls up my spine.

   Everything passes by in a blur. Once we escape the horrifying spider, a pair of Kraangdroids finds us and attacks. They are strong compared to the unarmed, hovering Kraang, and our wounds cripple us further. Eventually, Donatello finds a small room for us to take shelter in. Good thing tight spaces aren't one of my fears.

   I finally recover from my giant-spider shock and come back to reality. Michelangelo looks at me while Leonardo continues to hold me in his arms.

   "Dudette, you're alive!" Michelangelo cheers while his sky-blue eyes lit up. "You totally had me for a minute there! I thought the T.V. was going to win the best friend competition!"

   I giggle weakly. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily."

   "We noticed," Raphael says gruffly, but I see a good-natured sparkle in his green eyes. I like to think that means he is getting used to me, because he's growing on me as well.

   Leonardo studies me with an anxious expression on his face. "So, what happened back there?" he asks quietly, almost as if he doesn't want the others to hear. But they're going to, since we're all in such close quarters.

   I crawl out of Leonardo's arms and sit beside him. My headache slowly fades and I start to feel much better. "In case you didn't know, I'm scared of spiders," I answer.

   "We kind of gathered that much," Raphael replies as he stands with his back against a wall. "What we really want to know is why you passed out."

   "It's a result of fear," Donatello speaks for the first time since I recovered. "It happens when your brain can't fully accept what your eyes are transmitting to it, and your mind decides to reject the images. That causes your brain to strain itself and you fall unconscious. It's normal when you're overly scared."

   He explains the whole thing while punching things into his T-Phone. Out of curiosity, I lean closer to it.

   "What are you doing?" I ask him.

   "Texting April. I told her to get Casey and go to the lair. Once Shredder finds out about us breaking into T.C.R.I., he might send some Footbots out to find them. At least Master Splinter can protect them back at home. Better safe than sorry. By the way, I got the data on the Kraang's experiment," he adds as he flips to another screen.

   I feel hope rise inside of me. "You mean the experiment they did on me?" I question eagerly.

   Donatello nods and doesn't look up. "Apparently, Stockman is trying to bring your fears to life. That's why he mutated that spider. He wanted to have something to use against you. The spider was intended to only attack you, but plans don't always work out how you want them to, and it went after all of us as well. There's one thing I don't understand, though," the purple-clad turtle murmurs thoughtfully. "The files on the mutant said that it was related to you. It had similar DNA strands, almost as if the spider had once been human. I don't understand it."

   My green eyes fall to the ground and my brunette hair partially shields my face. "That's because the mutant is related to me," I admit reluctantly. The very idea is terrifying.

   Everyone sitting around me is bewilder. Raphael is the only one willing to speak.

   "What the heck are you blabbing about now?" he demands with wide eyes.

    "The spider is my mother," I clarify as I dare to meet their gazes. "Stockman mutated her into my biggest fear." I fiddle around with my fingers and bite my lip.

   "Wait," Leonardo speaks up finally. "Why would he want to scare you anyway? You haven't done anything wrong."

   "She didn't have to," Donatello replies, finally looking up from his phone. "She was just a test run. For all we know, she was a random selection for the experiment, however nonsensical it was on their part. And to answer the other question you're going to ask-" he starts when Leonardo opens his mouth again- "you can control anyone if you know what they're afraid of."

   Raphael breaks in. "And if you can control them..."

   "... Then they're basically your minion," Donatello confirms.

   "Great. So now I'm a servant to the Shredder," I grumble.

   "Not only you. If the experiment works and they find out the fears of every New Yorker, the whole city will be owned by Shredder. He would be a dictator." Donatello frowns.

   "Well, let's go take him down before he has the chance," Raphael growls and whips out his sais.

   "Even you know that's irrational, Raph," Leonardo scolds him. "He's a master ninja. Do you remember what happened the last time we faced him?"

   Raphael narrows his eyes angrily, but says nothing. Whatever happened when they fought the Shredder must have been pretty bad, especially if the most difficult and stubborn turtle fears him.

   "We will wait for Shredder to come to us," Leonardo concludes, and that part of the subject is over.

   I pull my knees to my chest and stare unseeingly at the floor. Everything is becoming clear. Whatever happened to my memories must have been a side-effect of them hacking into my fears. The purple injection of 'altered mutagen', as Donatello calls it, is what started the process. Then they went and brought one of the things I'm most afraid of to life through my very own mother. I am doomed to be a minion of the Shedder.

   I bite the inside of my cheek to stop my eyes from tearing up again. Crying won't get me through this mess. It will just make matters worse. Instead, I take a deep breath and look up at Donatello, the desire to stop the madness restoring my energy.

   "How can we protect the city and get my mom back?" I ask determinedly.

   Donatello appears a bit surprised at my sudden renewal. "Well, if Shredder doesn't have the information anymore, then he can't dominate."

   Leonardo jumps in, looking happy to have a plan. "So, all we need to do is destroy the data."

   When Donatello nods, he also adds: "A nice bomb would suffice, since Stockman claimed to have a lot around lately. There should be some back in the Kraang's lab, since he was in there."

   "But we're going to save my mom, right?" I insist, suggesting that there's no room for protests. All this time, I assumed that my mom was dead. But as long as a single bit of her lives on, I'm going to do whatever I can to protect her.

   Donatello nods once. "Wouldn't think of leaving her behind," he promises.

   All of us get to our feet as Leonardo starts issuing orders. "Donnie, you get to the computer as quickly as you can. Raph, cover him. Mikey, Lizzy and I will hang back."

   "Actually," Donatello breaks in hesitantly. "Can I have Mikey instead? Things seem to want to blow up when he's pressing buttons, so it would be helpful."

   "Yeah," Michelangelo says in a cool voice, his head lifted proudly. "I have that effect on machines."

   Leonardo nods. "Mikey, you can cover Donnie. Raph, you're with Lizzy and I."

   Raphael twirls his sais around his fingers eagerly. "Let's kick some shell."

   Leonardo peers out of the door. It's silent, so he motions for us. We file out after him.

   Once we begin down the wide hallway, Leonardo falls in beside Donatello. He whispers something in the purple-clad turtle's ear. His brother takes the lead with Michelangelo, and Leonardo falls further back to my side.

   "You're gonna have to face your mother again." His voice is barely more than a whisper, but I can still detect concern. "I know it's hard, but you're going to have to face your fear if you want us to succeed."

   I feel a shudder creep up my spine. I don't want to face the arthropod again, but I'm not about to chicken out. I've made it this far. Besides, I have to save my mom.

   "I'll protect you," Leonardo adds softly as if he thinks it will make me feel better.

   However, it doesn't. It just starts a fire inside me that inspires me to prove myself. "I don't need your protection," I reply quietly.

   As soon as I say it, I think I offended him. But when I look up, he's smiling. He knew I would say that.

   Well, teachers know their students better than they know themselves, so it's said.

   We reach the laboratory door unchallenged. The Kraang must be looking somewhere else. Good; it's nice to have a small break.

   But the moment I see the giant spider peering at me through the door's window, my stomach churns, and I know the break is over.