Song: Hurt - Wage War

Over the following three days, I attempt to live like I never met the turtles. I try to push them from my mind. I close the floodgates any time the memories come rushing back. With all of my effort and willingness to forget them, I was certain that it's working.

   Except that it isn't.

   Michelangelo's laugh seems to be right beside my ear, with Donatello talking about intelligent things in the other. I can sense Raphael's strong, confident stance near me. And lastly, Leonardo's deep ocean-blue eyes blind me from all distractions.

   Yeah, I totally forgot about them.

   I go on with life as usual. The only difference that school, my mom, and my brother are subtracted from it. Strangely enough, I don't cry when I think about my family anymore. I do, however, feel the tingling desire of revenge in my fingertips. It's the only thing that continues to supply me with energy, since I can't sleep anymore.

   At night, I have horrible dreams. Most of them are of the turtles getting ripped to shreds by Karai. It's a different setting each time, but every single nightmare consists of at least one turtle dying in my arms.

   Despite these circumstances, I go grocery shopping daily just to get out of the house. Yesterday, I bought a new sheathe for my dagger, since the last was blackened from the Kraang explosion. The new leather smells nice and it soothes me more than anything has in weeks.

   I keep busy in practicing Ninjutsu. Though I don't have a teacher anymore, I still remember what Leonardo trained me to memorize. I also teach myself some of my own moves; the problem is that I won't know their effectiveness until I test them out. And I don't want to attack some random stranger.

   By the time I finish my most recent solo practice session, I am too exhausted to make dinner. It's tempting to order takeout, but pizza and Chinese are not wise decisions. Not because they're physically unhealthy, but because they remind me of the turtles. I can't risk another break down before bedtime.

   I retire from the idea of eating; I'm not that hungry anyway. Instead, I lay my dagger on my side table and go to sleep without changing into pajamas. Simply put, I just don't care anymore.

   I do my best not to cry. I really do. But that's impossible when you're reminded that you're alone. That you have no one to turn to. That you're stuck in a never-ending loop of guilt and sadness. And the worst part of it all, is that you only have yourself to blame.

   Apparently at some point I fall asleep, because I wake up screaming. I am drenched in sweat and shivering from the cold. Images of my dream flash across my eyesight: Karai slicing Michelangelo's arm open, the turtle falling into my arms and lying there while his life bleeds out, and his body growing still with death.

   I pull my blanket tightly around me, seeking its fluffy comfort.  I sit there until I can process it was just a nightmare. But even then, it still scares me. It's so vivid. How can something so evil invade my thoughts and not be ominous?

   I lay back down, but sleep never takes me again. Mostly because I won't let it. That was the worst dream yet, and I'm not ready to see if something can top it. So I just stare at the ceiling for several hours.

   A tapping at my window sends me sprawling on the floor. I groan in pain, but I don't get up out of fear. I wait a few seconds, and the tapping sounds again. It could be a tree limb, if there was such thing as a tree in New York City. I confirm to myself that it has to be someone trying to break in.

   I snag my dagger off of my nightstand and tense my muscles. I creep up to my window from a side wall. The tapping continues.

   I don't want to come out of my hiding spot, but I have to. I have to show this potential thief who's boss. I will my hands to stop shaking as I get ready to open the window. I can't get any real blows in if I'm unstable.

Without thinking further, I unlock the window and open it as fast as I can. To my surprise, no one is there. I poke my head out and look around in confusion. The tapping sound had stopped and there are no suspects around.

Then I see it. A pair of glowing white eyes. The outline of the figure is faint, but it's there. It's the kind of body shape I used to see every single day. But then the sight disappears, as if it was just my eyes playing tricks on me.

"Mikey?" I call hesitantly into the darkness. A small flame of hope starts to light inside my chest. Maybe he came back for me.

A familiar face pops onto the balcony below my window. His orange bandana glows red in the darkness, but I can't mistake that sky-blue eye color.

"Lizzy!" he replies with a hesitant smile on his face.

I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze him. I don't bother questioning how he found me. Frankly, I don't care. I'm just happy he showed up.

Michelangelo embraces me with one arm, using the other to hold onto the window seal. I can feel him smile as he buries his face in my shoulder.

"I missed you so much," I gasp involuntarily.

"I missed you, too, dudette!" Michelangelo's voice is the most comforting thing I've heard in days. "You're the only one who likes to hear my jokes," he adds.

I laugh softly and release his neck. "Come in," I invite him in as I take a few steps back.

Michelangelo easily jumps through my window and shut it behind him. "I'm sorry I showed up so late," he says suddenly. "You were probably asleep."

I shake my head. "I couldn't sleep," I confess. It seems kind of silly now that I'm saying it out loud.

Michelangelo instantly looks concerned. "Why?" he asks.

"I had a bad dream," I mumble with a shrug as I sit down on my bed.

"What about?" he presses, taking a seat beside me.

I regret telling him why I was awake. I don't want to tell him about my dream; it's embarrassing to admit that it was about him. But I promised myself I'd be honest with him, so I'm going to do just that.

"I had a dream Karai killed you," I explain. The thought of it makes me shudder. "You bled to death in my arms. I couldn't do anything. I was useless." Reminding myself of the nightmare brings tears to my eyes, but I won't cry. I refuse.

So, I start bawling.

Michelangelo pulls me into his arms and rubs my back as I sob into his plastron. I choke out random phrases that sound parallel to gibberish. It's my way of apologizing, and by some miracle Michelangelo seems to understand.

"It's ok, Lizzy," he coos. "Shh. It's alright."

I manage to pull myself together enough to look him in the eyes. "Does that mean you forgive me?" I whisper, my voice cracking with emotion.

Michelangelo gives me a small smile, much more genuine than ever. "I could forgive you thousands of times," he replies, and I am touched.

A few more tears escape my eyes, but they are tears of joy. I hug him tightly once again, and don't let go for a while.

I finally recover from my break down and I feel a lot better.  My best friend forgave me for screwing up so badly. Nothing topped that feeling.

"I have to tell you why I'm really here now," Michelangelo breaks the silence. His face is serious- a scary look for him.

"What is it?" I ask him anxiously. What's going on?

"You have to come back to the lair," Michelangelo tells me urgently. "I don't care if you just go back for a little bit, or if you stay in the spare room again. Whatever you choose, you at least need to come talk to Leo."

I raise my eyebrows in surprise. "Leo? Why?" What does he want from me?

"He's a mess, Lizzy," Michelangelo admits. "His temper is so short, it's even worse than Raph's! He's been like this ever since you left."

I admire what the orange-clad turtle is trying to do, but I know better. Seeing me won't calm Leonardo down; just a glimpse of my face might be enough to start another argument. Or worse: a physical fight. I can't risk it.

"It won't help him, Mikey," I respond gently. "It's best if he just has some time alone."

"No, please, I know what I'm talking about." He sounds desperate, and his eyes glisten with emotion. "You have to come talk to him. I know for sure that it will help him. Please, Lizzy. I hate seeing my big brother like this," he begs.

My stomach churns at the thought of speaking to Leonardo, but it also churns at the thought of not solving our problem. Even if Michelangelo isn't exaggerating, which is very unlikely, it will be very hard to make amends with the leader. He is set in his ways just like I am. We'll just end up butting heads again.

"I'm sorry-" I start to reject him again, but I don't have the chance. Out of nowhere, figures crash through my window and start filing into my room. I scream as a Footbot suddenly grabs my arms.

"Let her go, mechanical garbage can!" Michelangelo yells. He whips out his nunchucks and takes out a few Footbots, but doesn't deny the ranks piling on through the window.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I look to my right and see Karai standing there in all of her evil splendor. Her eyes are just as narrowed and full of hatred as they were the last time I encountered her.

Seeing her brings back my vengeful nature. I struggle against the restraints the Footbots placed on my hands, but I can't break free. I attempt to kick Karai, but she simply hits my knee with her fist. Pain shoots through my leg and I gasp.

Karai pulls out her tanto and presses it against my throat. The cold material sends a chill up my spine. She looks back at Michelangelo as she addresses him again.

"If you want your girlfriend to live, surrender your weapons," she orders.

Without hesitation, Michelangelo drops his nunchucks. A Footbot retrieves them immediately.

"Now let her go!" Michelangelo demands with fire in his blue eyes.

Karai removes the tanto from my throat, but her minions don't release me. There's a short pause. Then she snaps her fingers, and Footbots pounce on Michelangelo.

He drowns in a sea of bodies.

"MIKEY!" I scream.