I remember being let back to see him.
Seeing him laid down, evidently in pain. Machines surrounding him. The constant beeping of the heart monitor. It was all just too much to take in.
My hand found its way to covering my mouth as I screwed my eyes shut. I tried to hold back my tears, but they couldnt be tamed.
My chest burned. My heart was racing, and with each thud I felt as if it was getting closer and closer to exploding.
I quickly had gone to sit by his side and took his hand in mine. I brought his left hand to my lips and let them linger against his knuckles.
The faint feeling of him holding back made me hopeful that things would truly work out.
The entire time I tried to remain optimistic, I refused to believe that I was going to lose him. I refused to let him think he was going to go too.
"you're going to be alright, Sam, it'll be alright. I promise things will be ok. I-I..." I paused momentarily as I tried to catch my breath. I was breathing incredibly heavily. Each deep breath was shaky and irregular.
That day was suppose to be perfect. That day was suppose to be the most memorable day of our lives for a good reason, but it didnt work out that way.
"I-I...I uh... I-I know y-you're asleep, but I have this f-for you." I managed to croak out.
I wanted to take what was happening off my mind and give him the gift I wanted to give him once he got home.
My hands trembled as I hurriedly searched my pockets for the small velvet box. When my hand hand brushed against the smooth surface, I had taken it out of my suit.
I tried to stop shaking before pulling what I desired out of the box, in fear of dropping and losing it. It felt like a lifetime before I finally was able to gather myself and the complete wreck I was.
Once I finally felt stable enough to hold it, I opened it, revealing a ring. I slowly put it on his ring finger before intertwining our fingers.
He still faintly held back and part of me was sure that I saw a slight smile play on his lips.
It was them that I first thought he really did have a chance.
It remained like that for possibly a few hours. Us holding hands, me telling him how incredible he is, and how if there was one person in the entire world who didnt deserve to feel pain at all, it would be him.
I never wanted to leave his side, I never wanted to let his hand go.
I never wanted to stop talking to him in fear that he'd slip away when I was finished, as if him listening to what I had to say was what was keeping him alive.
However, everything has to come to an end. After a while I had ran out of things to say, but I thought that was alright because at that point, I felt content.
I was almost sure he was going to make it, but just as I concluded what I was saying by whispering "I love you", I felt his hand go limp. The unforgettable sound of the flatline had began to echo throughout the room and my mind.
Complete and utter shock had taken over in that very moment. My grip on his hand only tightened as my vision once again blurred.
"Sam?... Sam." I began to shout in a strained voice.
"No... No. You're suppose to get through this. T-thats what we do. We get through things and we do it together. S-Sam... Please come back. Please.. Please dont go. You mean everything to me, please just come back." I cried, my voice occasionally cracking as I spoke.
I stared at him in pure disbelief, but when it finally had deemed on me that he wasnt coming back, the room had suddenly fallen silent.

-

And queue the prologue