I remember going to the beach during the summer. I never really swam because the idea of open water didnt really interest me much... And by interest me, I mean I was terrified of it. Id never admit that to anyone, I'd barely even admit that to myself. Id simply just say I didnt feel like swimming much. I'm sure my family caught on quickly, considering we'd go to the beach a lot and I never felt like swimming, yet if we went to a pool I'd be all for it.
Anyway, that isnt the point. The point is that Sam and I were at the beach and while he was swimming and having fun, I couldnt care less because I was completely content with just sitting in the sand.
I'd sit close enough that the waves would hit my feet, but I'd never let myself get more than knees length into the water.
Sam would be out to where the water was past his belly button and he'd hang around there because he wanted to be close enough to talk to me.
He'd always ask why I didnt want to go into the water with him and I'd tell him I'd much rather play in the sand or I'd simply say I didnt feel like it. He never argued. Sometimes he'd just nod understandably and carry on, other times he'd get out and sit by me.
I loved when he chose to come sit next to me because I loved being close to him. Plus, I had a morbid fear that some ocean monster would see a pale white thing floating in the water and attempt to eat him...
Anyway, he'd sit by me and I'd stare into the water. Id lay back with my legs straight and crossed at the ankles. Hands behind me, deep in the sand as they held me up.
Sam sat slightly behind me, legs crossed. One hand in his lap and the other resting over mine. It was truly comforting. Him holding my hand that is.
Sometimes I'd sit up and move so I could rest my head on his shoulder. He'd often wrap his arm around my back, gripping my arm.
We'd watch the sunlight dancing on the water and the water taking the reflection of the sun and making it bearable to stare at.
It was sweet how the water just seemed to enhance the suns beauty. How the waves cradled the sun... If that makes any sense.
It was like it captured the sun in it, like it was holding it.
In a way, it was like Sam was the ocean and I was the sun. Sam held me and the water held the sun.
I miss him holding me. The sun will always have the water to bring out the best of it and to hold it, but I dont have that anymore.