I remember the nights on the trampoline. My mom would give us both a miniature flashlight and we'd lay outside in the middle of a cool night. It would be completely quiet. You could hear the faint sound of crickets and maybe even the soap opera the neighbors next door were watching.
Sam and I would lay on the trampoline for hours. It'd be covered in blankets and pillows and we'd be out there because we wanted to look at the stars.
However, one still night Sam didnt want to just gaze at the stars. He didnt want to play with the flashlights or listen to the sound of the crickets. He was upset about something, and he wanted to vent.
"Whats wrong?" I asked him.
He sat criss-crossed with his hands in his lap. His head was dropped, he was just looking at his hands as he fiddled his fingers.
"I-I dont think I like girls" he murmured.
I was so confused by what he had said at first. I mean, all I thought really was 'not liking girls? Was that even possible?'
It was really strange to me considering I was never taught that you could be anything more than straight. I really only saw it as routine for the boy to like the girl and the girl to like him back.
"Are you sure?"
After asking that he hit the back of my head and said "no, thats why I said think, stupid"
I would have argued that I wasnt stupid, but in that moment I felt like I was. I didnt know what to say or do. We just sat in silence as he uncomfortably waited for me to speak.
If only I had of argued about being stupid, then the feeling of discomfort would have vanished because we'd be talking about something else, but I didnt think about that. I just tried to think of what to do.
Then I had it, the best idea... Or so it seemed.
"lets make sure" I told him.
I grabbed both of his hands and tried to smile at him.
"how?" He questioned
Without any sort of warning, I leaned in and quickly planted one on his lips. I closed my eyes like you would in a movie and since I didnt understand how kissing actually worked, I kept my lips against his for a while, not moving.
He was the one to pull away eventually and all he could really do was just blink twice before going completely red.
We looked each other in the eyes. He had confusion written all over his face at that point, but I really wasnt confused anymore. I wasnt because that was when I knew I wasnt really into girls either.