Halloween was the first time I braved a party since my first night at Davidson.

I was nervous, but I knew I had less to worry about this time around. It was a dutifully organized volunteer group social, not a gathering of random strangers, and held at none other than Cat's apartment, which helped to put me at ease. The strict dress code was less relaxing, though. Killer costume, or absolutely no entry, read the Facebook event description. Not just any costume, either. There was a strict theme: book characters.

What else for a literary group?

Josh had taken things one step further and insisted we pick out a couple's costume—and although I pretended the whole thing was mortifying, I was secretly thrilled. We settled on Jay Gatsby and Daisy Buchanan, partly because it was the only classic that didn't bore me to tears, and partly because we could still look attractive in the black tuxedo and sequined flapper dress. Truthfully, I couldn't wait to post the photo of Josh and I that Hanna had taken in the dorm hallway on my Instagram.

"Hey, you!"

I was in the kitchen, pouring out two drinks—one double rum and coke, the other just coke—when the voice snuck up on me. It had to yell over the thumping music from an extra Bluetooth speaker on the countertop. When I spun around, Cat was standing there, grinning at me.

Of course, she'd made an effort with her costume—a given, since this was pretty much her party. My eyes swept from the floor upward, noting her sky-high heels, skintight black pants and scarlet blazer. Hanging from her neck was a necklace made to look like a pocket watch, and the outfit was topped off by a white bunny-eared headband.

"Cat, hey." I set the bottle of rum back down. "Let me guess, uh... White Rabbit? Alice in Wonderland?"

"Sexy White Rabbit," she corrected, spinning around to show me the back. "Come on. You can't tell me this tail doesn't make people look at my ass."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, yeah. You have a point."

"Pretty good effort on your costume, I have to say." She looked me up and down appreciatively. "Daisy's always a winner. Did I hear a rumor that your very own Jay Gatsby is somewhere out there, too?"

"Somewhere, yeah," I said, trying not to flush under her knowing gaze. "I'm just getting us some drinks."

"Starting early, huh? You party animals."

I glanced at the still-open bottle of rum, then the two cups on the counter. "This one's for Josh," I said. "Mine's a little less strong."

"Oh. Not a big drinker?"

"No. Not really."

I expected her to question why. Only because that was the reaction the last few years had primed me to anticipate; people always seemed to think they were entitled to an essay on all the reasons I avoided alcohol. If they weren't deep or gut-wrenching enough, I could safely be labeled as boring.

But, right here, Cat didn't even blink.

"Honestly, I'm not a huge drinker myself. I'll have a few to loosen up, but I don't see the appeal in getting paralytic." She paused. "One bad experience, and I learned my lesson."

She grabbed a cup, then moved toward the sink and filled it with water.

"But these are good guys here," she went on. "No pressure, or anything. You've probably already realized we're an easygoing group. If you want to drink, there's plenty to drink. But if it's not your thing, that's okay, too."

I could tell she genuinely meant it, and for that, I was grateful. "Good to know."

Leaning back against the opposite countertop, she took a sip from her cup, keeping her eyes on me. There was more to come, after the few seconds of silence. "So... you and Josh. It's official, then?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "For a few weeks now."

"So cute," she said, her smile wide and unwavering. "You know, I knew it was only a matter of time. Since I first saw you guys together—and since I first caught him tampering with the duty schedule."

This pulled a laugh out of me. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that."

"Sneaky bastard. Still, I guess his plan worked out alright."

"I guess it did."

"Seriously, though," she continued, her tone lowered into a layer of purposeful sincerity. "I'm really happy for you guys."

Everything about her seemed perfectly genuine. I had no reason to question it. The smile, the laughter, the gentle jokes... perhaps it was only the fact that she was Josh's ex-girlfriend that made me look a little closer. I'd never been anyone's ex, but I couldn't imagine it was ever easy to see the moving on with somebody else. Though Cat had been nothing but nice to me, maybe there was something beneath the surface, something else she wanted but didn't know how to say...

"Morgan," she said, and on that single word her voice changed. "I—"

"There you are!"

Our heads turned at the same time, locking on the figure that had burst through the kitchen door. Josh was strolling toward me with a grin on his face, looking ridiculous but handsome with his hair gelled back and bowtie fastened around his neck. Simply seeing him had me feeling a little weak in the knees.

"You disappeared for a while. I was starting to wonder if you'd got lost."

"I think Morgan can handle herself between the living room and the kitchen," Cat pointed out.

He glanced over then, registering her presence. She was no longer looking at me. The moment between us had vanished into thin air; whatever she'd been about to say, I could tell she wasn't going to repeat it. Maybe because it wasn't important. Maybe because, for whatever reason, she'd changed her mind. Or maybe because Josh was now around to hear it.

"You're right," he said evenly. "She can."

"Morgan was just telling me you made it official," she said, recovering effortlessly. She looked him right in the eye, head tilted to close the few inches of height he had on her. "You kept that one quiet, didn't you?"

Josh laughed, looping an arm around my shoulders. The contact felt warm, comforting, and I let myself lean in closer. "Not intentionally."

"Well, like I said, I'm happy for you guys. I'm glad the group could do some matchmaking alongside helping the local community. Always nice to have a secondary cause."

"Speaking of which," Josh said, "Dean was pretty eager to find where you'd disappeared to a couple of minutes ago."

I could vaguely place the owner of the name: a gangly senior, with curly hair and glasses, who was also on the organizing committee. It didn't take Cat anywhere near as much thought.

"Really?"

Josh nodded.

She paused, considering this information with arm's-length skepticism, which seemed to be a habit whenever she was around Josh. But then her guard dropped. "He has been ultra-friendly to me lately," she admitted. "Maybe you're not bullshitting me."

"When would I ever?" Josh asked, with a winning smile.

Cat kept her eyes trained on him for a moment longer, as if the mask might slip and give him up at the last minute. When nothing happened, she took another sip of her drink and offered him a curt nod. "Exactly, Josh. When would you ever?" She pushed herself up from the counter, making to leave. "Anyway. I'll see you guys back in there."

When she was gone, Josh turned to me, looking amused. "She really doesn't trust me, does she?"

"No. Should I wonder why?"

I made it sound like a joke, but I was curious. A number of times I'd seen them together now, and I still wasn't any closer to working out the weird dynamic between them. Some days it seemed like more than lingering awkwardness between two exes, like there might be more at play beneath their constant power struggle. But other times it was obviously friendly banter, and I convinced myself I was overthinking.

Josh laughed. "I didn't screw her over when we broke up, if that's what you're thinking. You can ask her if you don't believe me."

I shook my head. "No, I do."

He smiled, then noticed the two cups on the counter behind me, both filled up with Coke. "Is this my drink?" he asked, reaching for the left one. "You're a hero."

"It's the other one," I said, touching his hand. "Unless you want something a little weaker than you're used to."

"Oh, oops. Here you go."

He passed my cup over. We took a sip at the same time, backs against the counter, the companionable quiet a reprieve from the buzzing activity on the other side of the wall. I could handle this kind of party. Where most faces were familiar and I didn't feel like I was being judged for not drinking and there was someone I could latch onto if it all got too much. With that kind of security, I could actually start to enjoy myself.

"You ready to go back in there?" he asked.

I glanced back over at Josh. It was a simple question, but there was a softness to his expression that made me smile. "Yeah," I said. "I think so."

He bent down then, and without warning, placed a feather-light kiss on my lips. It only lasted a fraction of a second; he'd straightened back up again before I had time to realize what had happened, but the tingle that spread across my skin lasted much longer.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "I just felt like it."

"You're cute."

"So are you." He kept his eyes on me, and I watched as his tongue darted out to run nervously over his lips. Then it happened. "It's one of the reasons why I love you."

My breath caught in my throat. It was a miracle I didn't start spluttering—and honestly, I was proud of myself for the two small words I did manage to get out. "You do?"

He nodded, more sure of himself now. "Yeah. I do."

Really, it shouldn't have shocked me as much as it did. We'd been spending more and more time together, our series of moments unfolding in exactly the way they were supposed to. I would be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind a few times already—always unintentionally, sneaking up on me when I least expected it. But I didn't trust my judgement. It was too soon, too crazy, and besides, how was I even supposed to know what being in love felt like?

Like this, apparently.

"That's lucky," I said, when I found my voice again, "because I happen to love you, too."

I thought I'd already seen every one of his smiles, but this one—spreading from ear to ear and illuminating every handsome feature—was both new and an instant favorite. I would have said I love you a thousand times over if it would keep that expression frozen on his face. I wanted to sear it into my memory and keep it there forever.

However, there were more pressing things on Josh's mind.

He ducked his head again, sweeping me up in a kiss that, had I been any shorter, would've probably lifted me off the ground. He gripped me so tightly and kissed me so fiercely it was like no force in the world could separate us.

But it did, eventually, because there was a party on the other side of the wall and it was only a matter of time before someone walked into the kitchen and caught us making out. Still, even that couldn't dampen my mood. As we broke apart, and peeled ourselves far enough away for him to take my hand instead, I was pretty sure I was going to burst. Never before had I felt so happy and content. And if it felt like this now, when things were still fresh and he still made me slightly nervous, what would it be like once we settled into the warm comfort of a stable, long-term relationship? When we knew each other inside out, better than anyone else could ever hope to?

In that moment, I was so sure of it: the best was yet to come.

--------------------------

And so we return to BEFORE -- where Josh is back in the picture and it seems like *something* is going on with him and Cat... or is it?

I don't know what it is, but I really enjoy writing Cat. She's so cool and collected but it also seems like there's way more going on in her head than she lets on. Do you agree? Like her, not like her, suspicious of her? I'm intrigued, so let me know!

Until next time...

- Leigh