Have you ever stared at a wall so long that you were almost positive you could see it moving? Kinda like the house was breathing. I still couldn't decide whether it actually was moving or if my brain was just playing tricks on me. At this point I believe either one could be possible. Anything could be possible really. There's a possibility that I could walk down to the park today. There's a possibility I could pack a little picnic for my possible walk to the park. There's a possibility I could pack two of everything in my possible picnic to take on my possible walk to the park. And then there's the possibility that someone would be there to share the possible extra food from my possible picnic for my possible walk to the park.

With those possibilities swimming in my mind I decided that yes I would walk down to the park today. My walk to the kitchen was slow. I took time to memorize the little dips and rises in the carpeted floor. I didn't really have a reason to but it gave me something to focus on at times. I slid the silver refrigerator door open and glanced at its contents. I was running a little low so a trip to the store was due at some point this week. I grabbed some sandwich meat, cheese, mayo, and a jar of pickles out. I quickly made two sandwiches and packed some pickles in a container. I grabbed some chips, a couple sodas, and a few packaged cakes too. I packed it all away into a basket and grabbed a blanket from the hall closet before smiling down at my little picnic. Maybe today would be the day.

I pulled my beaten up converse on to my sock covered feet and collected my things before going out the door. It was sunny outside, like always, not even a cloud in sight. The sun is great and all but I think I would give anything for some rain. To hear it as it beat down on the pavement. Just something to change the scenery. Maybe it would even thunder, drowning out the silence even more. Then if it thundered there may even be some lightening. It would be so nice to see the bright white streaks split the sky. Anything for a change of scenery.

The park wasn't far away at all, but I was in no rush so I took my time. I counted each line in the sidewalk and even stopped to peak into the other house for signs of life. I hadn't been to the park in a while so I was kind of excited. Even though I was a 25 year old man it was still fun to swing on the swings or even slide down a couple of the bigger slides. Once I finally reached my destination I picked a spot in the soft grass to lay my blanket out. I sat the basket down and took my own seat in the center.

My eyes scanned the park. The brightly colored play sets were vacant and the wood chips they rested on were undisturbed. There wasn't any mothers gossiping on a park bench or children screaming from joy. It was silent. The wind didn't even blow. I ran a hand through my long hair and sighed. No one was here and no one had been here since I had. I was alone, again.

I glanced around at the park one more time before reaching for the basket. I got out one of the sandwiches and some of the chips. I munched lightly on my food as my eyes continued to graze over the deserted park. It was such a shame no one was here to enjoy this place. The park was full of colors and had plenty of room for children to run around. There was free space for barbecues and picnics, and it was all going to waste.

Everything in this town was going to waste. There wasn't anyone here to enjoy it the way it should be. It was only me. I was the only one here. It was a truth that made me sick to my stomach. I couldn't be the only one here. The chances of that had to be close to zero. I couldn't spend the rest of my life alone. I was already craving the human interaction like an alcoholic craves booze. It had only been two months, how much would that want, that need, increase in a year? Two years? Ten? Twenty? Would I really be all by myself for the next twenty years?

I could feel the bile rising in the back of my throat and I started shaking. I was quick to throw my sandwich to the side and jump to my feet. I ran to the nearest tree and threw up the contents of my stomach. I sank down next to the tree and my pile of sick, bringing my knees to my chest. I couldn't be the only one here. My hands gripped at my shoulders as they shook and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. My eyes darted all all around me. There had to be someone here. Anyone.

"Hello?" I called out. I stood up, still gripping my own shoulders, and walked to the middle of the park. "Hello?" I called out again just a little louder. I waited and I still didn't get a response. The tears were falling faster now. "Hello! Is there anyone?" I called out desperately.
"HELLO?!" I screamed as I fell to my knees in a sobbing heap.