Zayn Green | Zay

Laying down I opened my eyes, turning to lay on my back as I looked at the ceiling. I looked to my left to see Memo sleeping with her back towards me. It's funny how close we are but so far at the same time. I laid there in deep thought wondering how everything got this bad in just some months.

Everything's changing including me, I didn't like any of these changes but instead of making things better, I'm making them worst. It's like my mind is saying be smart but once my mouth get to moving, I go against everything in my head.

I felt Memo shift taking me out my thoughts as I looked at her. She turned my way and looked at me, I could see the stress taking a toll on her. She didn't look like her self at all, I just wanted to hug her and relieve her of all her stress but I couldn't.

"You okay?" She asked closing her eyes back.

"I should be asking you that."

"Just tired."

"You looked stressed."

"I am." She sighed. "It's not even just with you, it's about school and working. I just don't know how much I could take anymore."

"Everything going to fall into place, just pray on it."

"You right." She nodded then sat up quickly covering her mouth making me rub her back. "What?"

"Felt like I was going to throw up, it went back down."

"You sick or something?"

"Don't know."

"I've never know you to throw up unless you pregnant and that's impossible."

"Nothing is impossible."

"So you saying you pregnant?"

"No, I am not pregnant."

"How do you know that? We gon take a test."

"I'm not taking anything. I've been pregnant two times already, I would know if I'm pregnant ."

"I'm buying you a pregnancy test."

"You will be wasting your time and money, I'm not taking a test."

"If you not pregnant then why can't you take it?"

"Because I don't want to!" 

"You don't want to? Would it even be my baby if you was?" 

"What?" She scrunched her face up.

"I said would it be my baby if you were."

"Wow." She nodded her head and stood up going to the bathroom making me follow her.

"I mean Memo, I've been gone for almost a month or two. You sure-"

"Who else baby would it be? Josiah? Wow, get out my face Zayn."

"Memo, I'm just saying. Why you getting so-"

"Don't just say shit! I'm not a cheater and no matter what we go through, I've never once thought of cheating! Do you see me questioning you?" 

"I give you no reason to."

"So disappearing for days taking pictures with random girls and being on videos with bitches I never heard of don't count? I give you so much respect and trust and you can't even do the same for me."

"I'm always the bad person." I laughed. "You the one with the feelings for ya baby father, contemplating on leaving me for him but yet you not cheating? I suppose to just believe that's my baby."

"Then why are you here if you feel so strongly about this? I'm a slut and a cheater in your eyes so why are you pleading your case?" She asked getting in my face.

"Memo, get out my face."

"I've been saying you changed but what if this been you all along? What if this been your character? Are you still taking your pills?"

"Ivory, stop coming in my face. For real." She stayed there and I backed up. 

"I never wanted us to be like this, we were suppose to be the couple everybody loves but hate on. We were suppose to be way further than we are right now, you think I don't love you when it's the opposite in reality. I love you so much, probably more than you love yourself."

"If you loved me then you wouldn't have eyes for another man."

"And you're right about that. I am wrong for a lot of things but so are you. Don't just place this blame on me."

"I'm not wrong for anything, do you know what I do when I'm in the field? The shit I see and have to go through? The training? The people you see who not right in the head? I be needing days to get my head right."

"So I supposed to feel bad because of a career you chose? You chose this Zayn! They did not force you to go to the army, you went to register, you took the test for it! You knew what the fuck the army did to people before you even signed up! That's not an excuse to ignore me for weeks then expect me to not be fucking mad!"

"I expect you to understand Ivory!"

"Well I don't." She shrugged. "Nobody in their right mind should understand ignoring your fiance for weeks because you can't handle it. What happened to talking shit out? Just like you said people go through hell over there and not talking to you makes me think something happened! I can't be on my grind because I'm too busy blowing your phone up begging you to respond to at least let me know you were okay and you don't even have the decency to do that!"

"You gon take the pregnancy test?"

"So just ignore everything I said right? Okay." She nodded wiping her eyes, I reached for her but she backed up. "Just leave Zayn, I don't have anything else to say to you right now."

I watched her walk out the room and stood there then sighed, I brushed my teeth then threw on some jeans and some slides going to get my car keys. I walked out the room going straight out the door without speaking to anyone, they wouldn't of spoke back anyway. I got in my car speeding to my brothers house, I pulled out my key hearing laughter as I walked towards the kitchen.

"Is that my little brother?" Zayyir said making me form the biggest smile I ever did in my life as I bear hugged him. "The happiest I ever seen this nigga to see me."

"When you fly in? Where NeeNee?" I asked after letting him go. 

"First of all, nigga when did you fly in?" Zaydrien asked confused.

"Searsly, why you ain't tell nobody? And you don't speak to nobody else nugget head ass nigga?" Zayden asked.

"I flew in around three days ago and if niggas answer their phone, y'all would know that." 

"Everybody know Zayden don't answer his phone." Zayyir said making us laugh as he flicked us off. "We flew in around three hours ago, NeeNee heard Ny was going into birth and decided to come."

"She at the hospital?" I asked and he nodded.

"Speaking of hospitals, really Zay?" Zayden glared at me.

"Man listen." I sighed.

"Wait, what happened?" Zaydrien asked as all their attention went on me.

"Go head, tell em bout ya dumb ass."

"Memo and I having problems so in the hospital shit aired out and Josiah and I was bout to fight." 

"I ain't even talking bout that, tell them bout the booty shit you did."

"What you talking about?" I asked.

"He swung on Josiah when he was bout to leave while having Aspen in his hand."

"I'm all for fighting for ya girl lil bro but that was some corny shit." Zaydrien said. "You another father figure to Aspy, you love that lil girl, why would you even think to do some shit like that?"

"I was mad and seeing red, I wasn't thinking bout shit but punching him in his mouth."

"Why you beefing with him anyway? Thought y'all was cool." Zayyir asked.

"We was until he wanna admit he in love with Memo and shit."

"The feelings mutual?"

"I know she like him but I don't know, she probably do love him."

"Word to advice, let it go." Zayden shook his head. "If she loved you like she said she did then she would of never wandered off. You saw the shit I went through with Mulan, don't be another me. Never be anybody choice, if she has to make a choice then eliminate yaself."

"Word to." Zayyir agreed. 

"I mean letting her go won't be that bad, I let Mulan go and we strictly friends, best friends actually, we just wasn't meant to be. It would of been better if I ain't go through all that bullshit with her but we good where we at now."

"I think I need to just talk to Siah and see wassup."

"That man wanna fight." Zaydrien said laughing. "I know you saw that game, he want to fight and gon keep wanting to fight."

"Imma just call him and if it go bad then it just do."

"Let's just celebrate right now, I have all my little brothers in the same room after two years. None of us are dead or dying, we woke up this morning, not in jail and we just living. After everything we been through we finally have a house you see in movies, wearing designer clothes and shoes, we don't have to ask anybody else for money, we making a living and I feel damn good about it." Zayyir said making us all nod and agree.

"The gang is back." Zayden smirked.

"Just missing one." A voice said making all of our attention go towards the kitchen entrance. 

"Alex?" I asked squinting.

"Hey Zay." She smiled.

"When you get here? What the hell? Everybody just coming home, bouta make a first day out." I said making them laugh. 

"I drove here, I missed my brothers." She smiled giving me a hug.

"You finally consider me as a brother? You over ya crush?" I smiled.

"It's been three years, I been over it." She waved me off.

"Whew! Hallelujah!" Zaydrien dramatic ass said making us laugh.

"So what's been going on brothers?" I asked sitting down drinking my water.

~

Leaving my brothers I sat in some restaurant in Buckhead waiting for Josiah to come in, I ordered some hot wings since I was type hungry. As soon as my hot wings came out, he was walking in. He was dressed in some sweats and a shirt with his fist wrapped, he looked around for me then walked towards me sitting on the other side.

"Wassup?" He asked leaning back in his seat looking at me.

"Nothing chilling, wassup with you? Why ya hand wrapped?"

"I came to fight." He shrugged making me laugh.

"I came to talk, I know yesterday I was on some bullshit and I apologize for doing that corny shit in front of Aspen. You and everyone else know I love Aspen like she my own."

"It's cool, I ain't lose sleep over it."

"I did." I spoke honestly. "I was really just on some nut ass shit yesterday and I know the shit but loyalty is something I don't play with. I respected you to trust you around her while I was gone, I made amends with you and we became cool so this shit threw me."

"Nah, what threw me is you acting brand new like you ain't know of my feelings."

"I never said I didn't know of ya feelings."

"That's how you acting. When we first became cool, I told you I will always have feelings for her and you said you could deal with it cause she was yours. My feelings for her never changed, they only grew but out of respect I never once acted on them. When my feelings got stronger I hit you up telling you I was in love with ya girl, I was always honest with you but instead of talking to me about it, you wanna go to Jaylen bitch ass and start a revolution and shit."

"You right, when you told me you was in love with Memo I cut you off instead of talking to you. I was on some little boy shit. I haven't been taking my pills or going to therapy like I should and I'm not using that as an excuse but I ain't myself. I relisted again in the army, I can't love her like you can so I'm going to stop stringing this along."

His face went into confusion as he looked at me. "Are you stupid? You gotta be."

"What you mean?" 

"That girl is your fiance, why would you give that up? Because shit getting to hectic for you? She love you and I know you love her, why would you end that dummy?"

"She love you more." I shrugged. 

It hurt like hell admitting it but I could see it in her face that she love him, I don't doubt for a second that she loves me but I do doubt she's in love with me. I'm just letting everything go, maybe Memo and I could continue being friends or something but I was done with this relationship.

"You was always the better man." Siah smirked shaking his head. "This why I chose to back up, you selfless, you always putting somebody happiness before yours. I'm not half the man you are."

"You better." I shook my head. "Give yourself credit, try seeing what everybody else see."

"When you leaving?"

"Tomorrow, before I go can I see Aspy?" 

"Don't even gotta ask bro." 

"I'll text you." 

"Bet." He got up leaving me in my thoughts, I finished my food then left out. 

I went straight to the house getting my suitcase out, I started going through the draws deciding on the clothes and shoes I was going to take. While packing Remy and Mulan walked in confused, I looked up but continuing packing as they sat on the bed.

"What are you doing?" Remy asked scrunching her face up.

"I'm leaving."

"But why?" Mulan asked.

"She so unhappy, I hate it. I'll just leave before I cause her to do something."

"And you think leaving gon have her jumping for joy?" Remy asked.

"No but in the long run, y'all would see how this was the best decision for her."

"Zay." Mulan sighed.

"My mind made up, I'm waiting for her to come so I could leave and-"

"What are you doing Zayn?" Memo asked taking her shades off.

"We gon let y'all talk, be safe bro. I love you." Mulan hugged me as I stood up from the floor.

"I love you too." 

"I was team Siah." Remy joked making me laugh. "I'll really miss you though, don't be a stranger. I love you."

"I'll miss you too Remy Ma and I love you." I hugged her then watching them both walk out closing Memo door.

"When I said leave, I meant a couple of hours, not forever. Zayn, why are you packing? Stop." She took my clothes out the suitcase.

"Memo, stop." I grabbed her hand as she got teary eyed.

"Why are you leaving?" 

"You love him Ivory, you keep trying to fight it to spare my feelings but I'm a grown ass man, it's okay baby girl. The heart want what it wants."

"I'm sorry." She busted out in tears making me hold her tightly trying not to break down in tears myself. 

"You don't have to be sorry."

"Yes I do, do you hear how you sound? You're the perfect husband, how could I be so stupid? Ever since I met you, you been the light to my dark situations. I'm so stupid Zayn, I'm sorry."

"Memo, you not stupid. I was just never who you really wanted, our relationship started because you wanted some good out of your situation. I know you love me and I love you baby girl but this ain't how our story go. You don't belong to me, you never did."

"But-"

"It's nothing else to be said, not every fairy tale has a happy ending. This not ours but it can be yours and Siah's, everyone is meant for someone and I'm not meant for you."  

"I don't want you out my life."

"Where I'm going?" I laughed. "We not together but I'll always be your friend, call and I'm coming. I never been too far away from you."

"You gon answer?" She joked making both of us laugh.

"Yeah, I'll answer." I smiled.

"I guess I should give this back." She took the ring off her finger as I held it.

"Nah, keep it. I won't have no use in it."

"Me either." 

"Pass it down to Aspen or something, it's yours to keep Ivory." I passed it back to her as she held it in the palm of her hand. 

Before I could say anything Aspen ran into the room jumping on the bed as Siah chased her, he picked her up and slammed her as she laughed loudly. She stopped playing once she saw both of us, she looked at both of us and she grew confused. She jumped off the bed and hugged my legs making me look down.

"What's up Princess?" I squatted down to her level.

"You cry, when I cry I want hug." She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly making me laugh.

"Yeah, I needed this."

"Why you pack? You go back to army?"

"Yes and I'm moving out."

"Why?" 

"Um, your mom and I decided to be friends."

"So? Mommy friends with all my Teetees and they still live here."

I looked at Memo for help and she bent down to her level. "You know how you told me you had a boyfriend?"

"No the fuck she didn't." Siah said making me laugh. "Why the fuck wouldn't you tell me that?"

"Anyways, you know Zay was my boyfriend but he's not anymore." 

"So I won't see PopZay again?" She asked about to cry.

"You can see me whenever you want, we can go to mamikools when I come back and you can call me on your phone whenever."

"Okay, I'll miss you." She hugged me again but tighter this time making me smile and hug her back. 

"I'll miss you too princess."

"I bring you gift, wait." She ran out the room leaving Memo, Siah and I as I stood up looking at both of them. Memo jumped in front of me looking at us.

"Y'all are not about to fight." She said making us confused.

"What you talking bout?" Siah asked.

"You said on sight, I know you wasn't going to fight in front of Aspy but-"

"Memo, we already talked it out. We good." Siah shook his head.

"Really?" She asked surprised.

"We are mature, we can talk shit out without fighting."

"Tuh, I beg to differ." 

I finished packing then with the help of Siah and Ralph, I put all my shit in the car. Aspen gave me her favorite stuffed Boov so I wouldn't forget her but I could never forget about her. Memo was standing outside watching me put everything in my car still looking a little depressed making me laugh.

"I'm good Mem, for real."

"I feel horrible."

"I don't, show me that I didn't make this decision for nothing. Let him love you Mem, I'll find the one for me one day."

"I just love you so much."

"I love you way more, don't be a stranger okay?" I told her hugging her tightly. 

Holding her for almost two minutes we let go of each other and smiled, this was the girl I spent the last four years of my life with and now we were just over. It just now started to sink in that I was giving up on someone who suppose to be the love of my life, my potential wife. I couldn't believe it, I would of never thought it was going to end like this.

Walking into the house, they all looked at me with sad eyes making me laugh. "Chill y'all, I'm good."

"Well this ya last day here and ya first day as a single man so we bout to turn the fuck up." Zaydrien said.

"Hell yeah! Pussy and bottles!" Zayden yelled making me laugh.

"Lemme take a shower and get ready, I'm down." 

I'm a single man.
__________

Hey y'all. Sorry #TeamZay, y'all could hate me all y'all want lol I love me some Zay but Memo wasn't his happily ever after...

Excuse any mistakes.