"It's half four," Andy says sleepily, turning the landing light on and looking down the stairs at Remington. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Remington asks, crawling up the stairs, squinting.

"I literally have no idea but it sounded like you just died with all the crashes."

Remington reaches the top, where he sits at Andy's feet and yawns. "I just went for a snack."

"At four in the morning?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Right."

"I just didn't turn the lights on."

"So basically you just spent five minutes falling over everything in the kitchen and then tripping up the stairs?"

Remington nods. "Yep."

"I'm going back to bed."

"Help me up, will you?"

"You're a big boy, can't you do it yourself?"

"Yes, but I don't want to."

Andy rolls his eyes, reaching down and grabbing Remington's arms. "Sometimes, being married to you is like having a child."

"You know it, daddy."

"Stop that."

Remington giggles and falls onto his back on the bed. "Is it really four?"

"Yes, shove up."

"Ooh, you're in a pissy mood."

Pushing the younger gently to the side and getting back in bed, Andy says, "maybe it's because I thought you had just fallen down the stairs but in reality, you're just an idiot." He playfully pulls the covers away from Remington. "Now go back to sleep before I smother you with a pillow."

"Dick."

"At least I have one."

"You do? Where was it last night?"

Andy chuckles. "Up your arse, where else?"

"Well, I couldn't feel it."

"Yeah yeah, I suppose you were moaning about some other Andy, then."

Remington pulls the covers back. "I'm hungry," he complains.

"You literally just had food."

"No, I never got any because I couldn't get to the fucking fridge."

Andy laughs loudly and grabs Remington's arm when he's playfully slapped. "See, you are an idiot." He kisses the boy's hand. "I love you, now go to sleep."

"But I'm hungry."

"You can have breakfast in, like, four hours."

"What if I starve?"

"You're not gonna starve in four hours, babe. Go to sleep."

"What if you wake up and I'm a skeleton?"

"Literally shut up."

"You literally shut up."

"You're a cock."

Remington turns onto his front. "Mhm. A hungry cock."

Andy groans. "Sleep."

"Did you hear that? It was my stomach."

"It literally didn't make a sound, but okay."

"You're just so old you're going deaf."

"Well, don't let me know when it happens again."

Remington pokes his cheek. "What about ice cream?"

"What about shut up?"

"What about no?"

"Do you want to be choked?"

"If it's with your hand, yes."

Andy pulls the covers right off Remington. "If you don't shut up, I'm sleeping in the bath."

"Why're you so moody?"

"I'm not moody."

"You're not good at lying, either."

"I'm not moody," Andy says again.

Remington shuffles closer to him. "C'mon, spill. What's wrong?"

"Go to sleep."

"Tell me what's wrong."

Andy slides out of the bed and picks up his two pillows.

Remington frowns. "Where are you going?" He asks.

"The bathtub."

"Andy-"

"Don't fall into the oven."

Remington watches him leave the room, sitting up and rubbing his eyes before going downstairs and finding a packet of raspberry cookies in the cupboard. He goes back up with the cookies, opening the bathroom door and sighing. "You look mighty sad."

Andy looks up at him from where he's sitting in the bathtub.

"You didn't even bring a blanket."

"You're so annoying," Andy mumbles. "Pass me a cookie."

Remington throws the packet at him and disappears off to find a blanket, returning with a fluffy black one and shaking it out before climbing into the tub and sitting on Andy's ankles. "So, what's wrong?" He asks.

"You're not gonna give up, are you?"

"Nope."

With a biscuit in one hand, Andy takes a bite, then says, "I had an argument with Lonny and Jake. About the order of the songs on the new album. It got a little out of hand, we started shouting and that, I don't know. Just put me in a bad mood."

"Aw, I'm sorry," Remington says. "And sorry for being annoying."

"No, it's not your fault I'm in a pissy mood. And you were only trying to cheer me up. I appreciate it."

"You can be mad at me if you like."

"Don't be silly, I'm not mad at you."

Remington smiles sleepily, taking a cookie from the packet and yawning. "I'll hit them if you want. Just say the word."

"Yeah, I don't think that would help."

"No, me neither."

Andy pulls Remington into him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and sighing. "We should go back to bed," he mumbles. "Love you, baby." He kisses Remington's neck. "Thanks for the cookies."