"We need to talk Harvey, you can't keep going on like that." I heard him storm in the living room where I was resting in peace, I sigh, here comes the storm. "Good manners exist you know?"

"The time has come for me knock some sense out of that stupid head of yours!" I fought back the grin that threaten to spread on my lips, Harold does not like when I am laughing at him why he is serious. It is not my fault if I find an annoyed Harold amusing.

My eyes were still close but I could feel him pacing the room displeased about the text I sent him.

"You need to see a psychiatrist, your case is very serious! My plane just landed a few minutes ago and the first text I receive from you is that?" I peeked to be sure that the place is safe, that he doesn't have a hammer or something else.

Once reassured, I opened my eyes to see the state in which he was, and that does not help to tame my amusement with which I am currently fighting. He was disheveled, fuzzy and angry, I could see the sadness reflected in his eyes.

"Hey calm down there is nothing wrong if I decide to date women instead of men." I stated amusement filled in my voice.

"How can you say that? You have loved men since you were born! What's wrong? I can help you do you know that?" Wow, he is truly hurt and sad due to my decision, I did not know it will affect him like that.

"Sorry if that bothers you. But I can't live like that! I am twenty five Harold! Twenty five for fuck's sake! But I am still lock up like a nun!" I spat out my amusement vanished and I was becoming annoyed. Harold sensed that and he just calmed down and sat on the sofa next to me.

He let out an exasperated sigh, "I want you to be happy okay? I am sorry for what is happening to you but reconsider that decision! That isn't the right choice you know?" He is right but I don't know what to do. I have tried anything but they don't seem to pleasure me.

"What should I do then? I have dated more than half of the men in this country! Do you want me to move to every part of the world to check for "the one"?" he held my hand rubbing circles on its back, that simple touch of his has the ability to sooth me like no other thing except chocolate.

I am gaga about that delicious small piece off cocoa, I can stuff myself with tablets and tablets of chocolate and become hyper active with sleepless nights as side effect; that's why Harold makes sure I don't go near any square.

"I can't do that you know? Until then I will be old with wrinkles all over my face, who will look at me?" I have dated almost every guy here and I am not sure about my sexuality anymore, why can't a man just do his natural job? To set me in total ecstasy, to let me discover the pleasure of flesh lead me to total abandon and bliss. No man has ever gone so far as a simple kiss.

I don't chase them away, I flirt whenever the occasion presents itself just to find that pleasure. I wish for a man who can set me on fire just by his mere scrutinizing gaze, to make my legs turn to jelly, make me wet my panties in arousal and make my nipples harden in anticipation just by his touch.

I dated different genres of men, when I say all genre I mean it except the priests and the gays: the playboys, the lover boys, the geeks, the lady's men, the gangsters (for this type I went incognito with a wig and lot of make up to cover my face.), the gigolos, the escorts, the gentlemen, the billionaires etc.

I also went to those practicing BDSM nothing even goose bumps I did not get. I am still a locked up nun, my V security is still intact and I want to get rid of it.

No man has the right code to flick it open from the observations I have made. Can someone believe that I am still a virgin at twenty five? I am beginning to wonder if my parents didn't circumcised me, but last time I checked; which was this morning, I still had my clit in place

When I see beautiful guys that interest me from afar I get crushes, like the ones you have in middle school. But it vanishes when I start discussing with him and he does not arouse any sexual interest in me.

I even had a crush on Harold, it was at the beginning of our friendship, he thought never saw me like that. I thought he was the one, but one day we kissed, we did not even deepen the kiss. It was as if kissing my brother, so we just stayed friends. He knew about my sexual complexity and he too has the same thing but slightly different from mine.

The only time I manage a partial arousal is when I read an erotica, the way the author uses words to relate and describe the ongoing action make it seem real and sends me midway to happiness. I am not a fan of masturbation, I tried but it seems weird to me. Harold helps me, by presenting me to any man who is liable to interest me and so far none and I am sick of it.

"Let me just try this, Please! I crave for sexual pleasure as a bitch in heat. My hormones are going frenzy." for the moment I am not in search of love, because I am not sure I can be capable of loving. I can't even think about marriage because I will be a creepy wife, my husband will divorce me instantly. I just wish for sexual satisfaction first before love.

"Hé hé hé its okay stop crying." I brought my hands on my cheeks, they were wet, and I did not notice that tears were streaming down my cheeks. "I am with you baby don't worry. But I am telling you that no girl will ever coop with you, they will never satisfy you." He chuckled to enlighten the mood and I could not help a small smile to escape at the sound of his laughter which is contagious.

"Hey stop mocking, have sympathy for your friend's misery." Grinning I playfully smack his head. "Ouch" he said feigning hurt.

"Stop pretending! I am very weak in such a way that I can't even kill a fly with a slap, so that should not hurt." In my young years, my mother usually upbraid me due to the strength which I always made use of, but she was secretly joyful.

All this because she received many complains from school so I soften after breaking many jaw bones and pluck out boys' teeth with punches and slaps. And now I can't even throw a proper punch nor give a good slap, I am always afraid to send him/her to the hospital.

"You always under estimate your strength, anyway I have a proposal for you." Oh here comes something interesting. "Just spit everything out babe." My eye twinkle with excitement, this little cunny fox, what is he scheming this time inside that brain box?

"Okay, I have the firm conviction that you are one hundred and one percent heterosexual. While, you support the other way round. Let's just place a wager on your sexuality." Great I am eager to win like always, each time Harold and I have a bet, I always win. Why does he have to sacrifice something when he knows I will win? That sounds appealing to my ears, he teased the curios part of my being.

"I give you a month to actually get laid by a female. That will just prove your term right and you win, or else I win." "What will I gain from this?" I said wiggling my eye brows and staring at him with anticipation.

"You ask whatever you want but as for me, I wish for you to attend my wedding as my best Man in a man's suit and we bet a thousand dollar." Damn you Harold, "Not because my name is Harvey that you expect me to wear men's clothes, we passed that stage when I was eleven and I started developing this." I pointed to my boobs, yes I am a female not a male! Not because my name is Harvey, blame my parents for that.

When I was eleven I asked my parents why they gave me a boy's name, and she brought out a sappy story. My parents refused to know my gender, they were convinced that I was a male and when I was born he just signed the name they choose before my mother delivered and I came out as a female.

They dressed me up in men's clothes in my early years and I was a laughing stock at school. Imagine me with long red hair and a female's high pitch voice in boy's cloths, who will not mock at me?

When I was eleven I started having my menstrual cycle and developing boobs, that's when they realized I was truly female. Since then I have never worn a trouser, the only thing I managed were sports pants and leggings. Damn him, he knows I loath men's cloths

''That's the fun part of the bet, I am eager to see you during my marriage ceremony...'' wait what? Did I hear right? I was too focused on the idea of me wearing a pant that I did not get the rest of it.

''Finally, after how many years? I was beginning to wonder if you have returned to square one like me.'' I was more than happy for him, at least one of us has solved his problem.

''Yeah, I want to propose to her tomorrow night, she makes me happy and I am in love with her. But I am sad.'' I looked at his eyes and I saw all the sadness he held, he was afraid for me.

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat, if I cry now it will not help to soothe his sadness and show him that I will be okay even if our relationship will not be the same again.

''I know, I feel the same, life is not as we think, I too I wish you were the one for me but we don't have feelings for each other. And I know Silvia is the one for you.'' I rose from where I was and kissed him our hands joined as usual. 

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