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***Alexei's POV***

"I'm fucking sitting. What now?" I yell out. I run my fingers through my hair, pulling at my strands. The physical pain has to be better than the tension in this room.

"Gavin wants to talk to you. He asked that we all be here. He's nervous. You have to remain calm. Do you think you can do that? For Gavin?" Grey is kneeling in front of me; he has his hands placed on my thighs supportively.

"I can try." I breathe out. The blind ask is a bit much with no context.

"Mak, love. Bring Gavin out here." Grey beckons his husband into the room.

I knew Mak knew something. I just knew it.

I glare at Grey's husband.

"Knock it off, Alexei." Martin sends me a short warning.

"Daddy?" Gavin's voice is small, fragile. I look up to him, his eyes are glassy. The rims are swollen. He has been crying. Alot. My heart pinches at the seams. This is not going to be a good day.

"Yes, love?" I use the softest tone I can muster. I do not want to put any more on my boy than he is obviously going through.

"I'm." Gavin bursts into tears. He wails. Blubbering, he tries to talk. Mak stands beside him, rubbing his back gently. Mak tries to encourage him to keep going.

I try to stand up to comfort my kitten. Martin pushes down on my shoulder that he is pinning down with his hand. I look up to him to find out why the fuck and he just shakes his head at me.

I deflate.

This is fucking agony. Gavin is crying. I'm freaking the fuck out. I'm in hell.

"I'm. Sorry." Gavin wipes the back of his hand across his nose. He rubs it on the back of his pants. I hold back a gag. That's disgusting.

Mario has mercy on me, handing my baby a box of tissues. Gavin hugs the box to his chest like it will save him. I want so badly to be the one saving him. Although, I don't know what I am saving him from.

"I lied." Gavin sniffles. More tears stream down his face. "To you." Gavin hiccups before he wipes his tears. It's futile. They replenish right away.

"I'm listening." I grind out between my teeth. This is already starting badly. We do not lie to one another.

"I lied when we met. Then, I kept." Gavin takes a big breath. "Lying." On the last word another round of wails ensues.

My body pins me to the couch this time. Martin's hands are useless. I can't move. I am stunned by his admission.

Mark stands up. He is across the room in seconds. His arms are around the love of my life. He is curled over him, assumedly protecting him from me. I want to throw him over the fucking balcony.

Mark whispers in Gavin's ear. Gavin nods his head repeatedly. I sit there, seething.

"I'm embarrassed." Gavin admits. He looks up at me with pitiful eyes. He should be embarrassed. We do not lie to our partners.

"I didn't want someone like you." Gavin looks down at his feet. I feel my heart start to crack. He is embarrassed of me. Gavin lifts his head to the ceiling. I watch as tears trace down his face. They plop down his cheeks, hitting his shoulders in succession. He tries to blink them away.

"I didn't want someone like you, to see me as less than." Gavin finally completes his sentence. I feel like someone just punched me in the chest.

I gasp for breath. My heart tears. I feel violently sick.

I feel them before I can stop them. Hot, fat emotions fill my eyes. He thinks he is below me. The thought is devastating.

Someone like me.

Someone like me?

I am fucking nobody!

Without him, I am nobody.

"Gavin." I yell out. I do not mean for it to be harsh. I just want to get his attention.

"Daddy. Alexei! Please let me finish. You can have a turn." Gavin shakes with frustration. He continues to cry. His plea is out of pure desperation.

"I'm not from The Hamptons. I'm from Hunts Point. I got a scholarship. The reason I graduated with a bachelor's at 20 is because I worked really fucking hard and I am really fucking smart." Gavin admits what he perceives as his shameful background. I feel disgusted. I feel repulsed. At myself. He thinks he isn't good enough for me.

"Gav. Tell him about your parents. Go ahead." Mak soothes Gavin with a comforting grip on his hand. I want to be right there. I want to soothe him.

"My mom is in Bellevue-Psychiatric. She had a mental breakdown when I turned thirteen. I lived in foster homes sometimes. Other times, when I ran away, I didn't live anywhere." Gavin looks everywhere but at me. I wipe the tears from my face. What the fuck has this kid been through?

The people in this room with me are all staring at my angel with just as much emotion as I feel. I want to kick something. I want to beat someone's ass. I want to heal whatever is broken inside of my love.

"That's why I became a nurse. I wanted to help people like my mom. But she isn't going to get better. Because she is schizophrenic. There isn't a cure." Gavin seems smaller than he has ever seemed to me. He looks so fragile. I am afraid that when I finally hold him, he will shatter. I have to prevent that from happening. I have to hold him together.

"And your father. You're doing great. You're doing so good." Mark praises my heart. I don't even feel jealous. I only feel grateful that someone is able to portray how proud we are of him.

"That bastard. My father. Fuck him." Gavin's tone is sour. His words turn acidic.

"I lied about that too. He fucking beat her and he beat me. All the fucking time. Drunk. Constantly. He was horrible. I don't know where he is, and I don't want to." Gavin screams the confession out loudly. He screams in anger. His voice breaks as he crumbles the foundation of lies, he built his parents on.

And then the dam breaks. Gavin crumples. He falls to his knees. His face hits the carpet. He cries so hard, his body shakes. I look up to Martin silently asking him to please let me go. I need to get to him.

"Go." Martin releases his hold on me. I slide across the floor, scooping Gavin up in my arms. I press his face to my chest. My fingers splay over his head, protecting him. I rock us back and forth.

"I'm sorry." I whisper into his hair. I am so fucking sorry. No one should have to tell that story. That shouldn't be his story. "I'm sorry. I love you. I forgive you. I'm sorry."

My whole world rests in my hands shattered. All I want to do is hold him together. Gavin cries while finding ways to tangle himself in my arms. I shift with him, giving him space to show me exactly what he needs. He wraps himself around me, locking his ankles around my back. I stay on my spot in the middle of the carpet, on my knees, rocking.

To whatever god is out there, please bring my love peace. He has been through too much.

No one says anything. The only sounds in this room are my whispered apologies and tears. Everyone is broken. Who would have seen that Gavin wasn't from the most perfect of backgrounds. He pretended so well. Too well.

Gavin starts coughing causing me to worry. I pull his face to look at mine. Searching his eyes, I see fear, pain and embarrassment. I wipe his eyes before pressing my lips to his head.

"Here." Martin hands me a glass of water.

I place the water to Gavin's lips, urging him to replenish the fluids that he has splattered across the carpet. He has cried so much today. Probably more than I know. Probably more than just today.

"I am sorry, that I lied." Gavin finally whispers up to me.

"Shhhhh. Hush." I whisper. I don't think he had ill intent. I believe he lied in a manner to preserve himself. Self-preservation is never admonishable. Ever.

"I promised I would trust you." Gavin starts again.

"You trusted me with what you could stand to say." I clarify. I am not going to punish him for this. There is nothing to be punished over.

"I do trust you. Now. I was so scared." Gavin keeps justifying his love for me when it is wholly unnecessary. Anyone willing to stand in front of a room of people to confess that level of truth shows more trust and courage than I could believe imaginable.

"You did so good, baby. You were so brave. You are so brave. I am proud of you." I assure him.

"I love you, Alexei. I don't want to lie anymore." Gavin's breaths come out labored chasing one another in that way that they do when we are exhausted from crying. I rub his back soothingly.

"You never have to lie. I will always be here for you. I love you, Gavin Lincoln." I pull his face to mine so I can finally seal my promise with a kiss.

Pulling back, I think of something.

"That is your name right?" I ask seriously. Fuck if I know.

"Daddy!" Gavin giggles. The sound is music to my fucking ears.

"It's a valid question." Mak nods his head.

"I didn't lie about my fucking name. Look it up." Gavin throws his middle finger up for the whole room to see.

"You can never be too careful." Mak winks at his husband.

I stare between the two of them because I am sure I am missing something. Grey shakes his head at me. I let it go.

"Can I get you anything?" I ask my love as he continues to cling to me.

"Just promise I didn't mess this up." Gavin worries.

"I promise, my heart, we are better than ever. I do have a question though." I inform him.

"I will be honest, I promise." Gavin swears to me.

"That story you told about stealing the car." I start. It was a good story.

"That was Stephanie. I just didn't want you to freak out for spanking me. I still want that type of relationship." Gavin explains.

"Even with all you have been through?" I question quizzically.

"Because of what I have been through. I told you; love and care are not abuse." Gavin holds his small hand against my cheek while he tries to reassure me once again.

"I think we should talk about that later, alone. Unless you are willing to talk about it here. I am not saying no or even that anything will change. I want to talk to you though. I want to make sure you're okay. You are my only concern. Always, you are my priority." I promise with every fiber of my love for him.

"I think I am tired. It's my fault. I haven't been sleeping. I have been trying to find ways to tell you. I feel exhausted." Gavin yawns on cue. It is then, and only then that his words echo the trademark signs of exhaustion. He does have bags beneath his eyes. He is sallow. His skin looks less supple. I wonder how long it would have taken me to recognize it if I hadn't had my moment of clarity. I feel like I let him down.

"We can watch the game. You can rest in here or Mak would be fine letting you use their room. Whatever you need." I want him to feel better. I want him to bounce back from this.

"Sorry. I was prying after I heard my name. Gav, you're welcome to use our room." Mak offers gently. The kid is actually just a fucking angel placed here to make all our lives better. It's apparent.

"I will stay here. I don't want you to change your mind." Gavin tries to smile around his fear. I notice it for what it is.

"Sleep, my heart. I am not going anywhere." I press a kiss to head. I cover his body with my arms and his head with my hand. I will protect him from as much cruelty as I can. It is my job to protect him.

"You want a beer?" Martin bends down beside me. I stare into his eyes. How does he do it? How does he so effortlessly protect so many people. He doesn't seem worse for the wear. The responsibility seems to make him glow. He thrives on having so much to take care of. I am barely holding it together with just this one, incredible human, to manage.

"Honestly, make it a scotch. I am way passed beer." I acknowledge. Martin smiles. Every smile touches his eyes exactly as it touches your heart. He pats my shoulder on his way to take care of me.

"He's sleeping." Mario whispers. Mario smiles knowingly at me. I wonder what stories these men have that I am not a privy to. They take on each new monumental thing without pause. It's like they have been through it before, or at least something similar.

Words of encouragement are slipped from each of my friend's lips to my ears. As if I have been through the ordeal, they find ways to check in on me. I have been through nothing. I had a perfect life. The angel in my arms, he is fragile. His story, one I am just now figuring out, will be one I have to work through for the rest of our existence. It will be our existence. There is no way I am ever letting go of this precious cargo. He is mine. From the moment he lied to me, he was mine.

Not all foundations, made of sand, crumble. Some of them fade away. They are replaced by stronger foundations.