💖 Don't forget to vote/comment! 💖

***Alexei's POV***

"You do not have to do this." I promise my kitten. I can see the look in his eyes. He does not look sure of his choice.

"I want to. I'm just scared." Gavin turns to me, reaching for me. I take him in my arms, giving him support as he holds me tightly.

"Are you sure? You're shaking." I don't feel comfortable with him doing this. He shouldn't have to be doing hard things.

"I have always wanted you to meet her. I don't even know if she will recognize me. I just want to try." Gavin leaves my arms to pace in front of the office building. He hasn't made a move to enter in the thirty minutes since we have been here.

We tracked down his mother months ago. She wasn't at Bellevue. Apparently, that was just misinformation fed to him by some channel of foster homes. Eloise, Gavin's mother, was there initially. But she was moved around for the first few years in different increments as her diagnosis was developed and understood. We are standing in her most recent home, one where I have researched heavily to find out if it was a place I should bring Gavin at all.

"If it gets out of hand, we are leaving." I warn. His safety is everything. I don't care about anything outside of that.

"I know. I will be on alert. I am going to be careful." Gavin promises for the third time.

"Whenever you're ready." I offer. I stand beside him, praying that whatever he is looking for he will find. He deserves closure or a new beginning. I don't even know what to hope for since I have no practice in this.

"Let's go." Gavin takes my hand firmly. I walk with him, as we start towards the building that the director instructed us to go to. I feel like we have been on the phone for weeks to get to this point.

I open the door for Gavin as I follow him in. The place is bright and cheery. It feels like a nursing home. There are plenty of nurses walking around, even in the lobby.

"We need to see the Director. We have an appointment. Alexei Carson and Gavin Lincoln." I proceed to check in with the front desk clerk.

I hate saying that last name. I cannot wait to replace it. He needs to be a Carson. I won't be fully happy until he carries my name.

"Follow me." The receptionist carries us straight back. We are seated in front of Ms. Roark without any further instructions. Her accent on the phone told me she was a transient. If I had to guess, she comes from somewhere south of Virginia.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person." Ms. Roark shakes my hand before taking Gavin's. I sit down, ready to begin this journey. Gavin lets go of the director's hand before scooting his chair closer to mine. He puts his foot right next to my own before grabbing my hand for support. I immediately close my fingers around his hand.

"I see that you have filled everything out online as requested. I have already made these badges for the two of you." Ms. Roark hands us lanyards with our pictures on them. I wonder to myself if it is safe to have shoestrings around our necks.

"How do we do this?" Gavin nervously questions. He leans forward, ready to hear her instructions.

"The first step is to reintroduce you to Eloise. I always recommend doing a visitation in a small, intimate setting. We have already evaluated Eloise. She is doing well since coming to live here. I would like to inform you, your mother has asked for you on a couple of occasions. She remembers who you are." Ms. Roark makes me relax immensely with the information. I was worried this was going to be over before it started.

Gavin breathes out a gasp as the information settles. I rub his hand to calm him down. This cannot be easy.

"Does she function well? Is she able to take part in her treatment plan? Does she know where she is and why? Is she violent towards herself or others?" Gavin starts rattling off questions as I sit in silence. I wonder the same but, it is not my place to interject.

"Eloise has a complex diagnosis. I wouldn't normally be able to discuss this with you, however, when she signed herself in, she listed you as her emergency contact. She also reestablished that consent to include Alexei earlier this morning. She is having a really good day today. She genuinely has more good days than bad. Her official diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder with psychosis. She also suffers from severe PTSD. To answer your questions, she functions well given her medical history. She is a very active participant in her daily treatment and has never shown violence towards another patient or staff member. Eloise is aware of her surroundings, her emotions and her prognosis. With all that said, she has periods of time where some of these things are untrue. I would not have allowed visitors if we were going through an episode." Ms. Roark assures us.

"You told her we were coming? She knows about Alexei?" Gavin sounds strangled as he chokes out his next set of questions.

"Alexei is your fiancé. Yes? That makes him family and your support system. It is pertinent to have a support system for both the patient and their families when it comes to this diagnosis. I did not want to have to ask you to come in alone. I apologize if I overstepped my boundaries." Ms. Roark's tone is thick with sincerity as she apologizes.

"No. I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. I am just surprised. I thought I would need to introduce him." Gavin looks at me apologetically. I do not feel offended. There is no manual on how to deal with this type of situation. He is navigating it to the best of his ability.

"I would recommend taking things slowly. Read her mood. Do not overwhelm her. Eloise is not a physical person. I would shy away from handshakes, hugs or even a comforting pat of her hand. Unfortunately, her PTSD prevents her from showing physical forms of affection." The words are spoken and immediately make my stomach turn. In essence, being beat the shit out of has taken her ability to accept affection as a positive form of love. I would love to get my hands on Joshua Lincoln.

"I understand." Gavin slides back, sinking into the chair as if the information is a heavy burden.

"How do you recommend we handle this?" I ask. I do not want to put Eloise or Gavin under any strain. This is supposed to be a reunion. I would like to gather as much advice as possible.

"You can see her either in a family room or in one of our monitored picnic areas. Lunch is about to start, that is a good segway for conversation. I would suggest introducing Alexei and letting her ask questions. Update her on your current life. If you can, try not to talk about the incidents that led to her break. Other than that, I think everything will be fine." Ms. Roark seems more confident than I do in this meeting. I am nervous.

"Baby, where would you like to do this?" I ask softly. Everything is up to Gavin. This is his show.

"My mom used to love the outdoors. We can eat with her at the picnic area." Gavin concedes easily.

"I will escort the two of you to the designated area. Give me a few minutes and Eloise will be brought out." Ms. Roark informs us before leading us out of her office.

The staff looks genuinely kind as we pass them. Each of them smiles, sending head nods in our direction. I acknowledge their gesture while focusing on my love. I am here for him and him alone.

"You nervous?" I ask quietly as I hold open the door for Gavin.

"Shitting bricks." Gavin huffs out honestly as we take a seat at the table.

"Understandable. Just remain calm. It will be what it will." I offer gently. We can't guess how this will go. There is no point in working ourselves up over it.

"What if she hates me? What if I disappoint her?" Gavin starts running his nails over the edge of the picnic table. I place my hand over his to stop it. The sound makes me cringe.

"Then we leave. Baby, anyone worth their weight will love you. Just give her a chance." I beg. I can't imagine a parent hating their child. That seems absurd to me. I don't even think Joshua hates Gavin; he just hates breathing.

"Okay." Gavin shakes his head before running his fingers through his hair. I hate to see him like this. His anxiety is on full display for everyone to witness.

"Hello." A soft voice calls out as I turn my head. I stare in silence as the most beautiful woman comes scooting towards us. She doesn't look sick. She looks ethereal.

Gavin doesn't say anything. He squeezes my hand harshly under the table. I can feel his body trembling. Mrs. Lincoln walks to the seat across from Gavin and stands there without moving.

"Sit down, please." I offer. Words seem to be lost on my angel. He continues to stare. The resemblance is undeniable. Gavin looks like his mother.

Silence continues to settle around us as Mrs. Lincoln takes her seat. She folds her hands in front of her, clasping her fingers tightly in between one another. I don't miss the way Gavin moves backwards, distancing himself from her. I run my thumb over his hand to comfort him.

"You look good." Mrs. Lincoln whispers. I imagine she is talking to Gavin, although she does not specify anyone in particular.

"How are you feeling?" Gavin finally finds a way to speak.

"I am good today. How are you doing?" Mrs. Lincoln responds and requests. The formal tone is hard to miss but out of place in between mother and son.

"I'm glad you are having a good day." Gavin responds. He doesn't answer her question.

"You can introduce me." Mrs. Lincoln offers as though she would like to develop the conversation.

"Alexei this is my mother, Eloise." Gavin breathes out. He takes a large breath before speaking again. "Mom, this is my fiancé, Alexei Carson." He shakes out her title as if he is unsure if it is correct to use.

"It is a pleasure to meet you." Mrs. Lincoln doesn't reach for me. Instead, she pats the table softly. I feel sad at the gesture. I wonder if my presence is making this harder.

"I can give you two a few moments." I offer as I stand.

"No. Please don't go." Gavin reaches for me desperately. There is panic in his voice. I sit back down, pulling him closely to reassure him.

"I'm here." I promise as I press a kiss to his head. I will always be here.

"May I see the ring?" Mrs. Lincoln surprises me when she reaches for Gavin's hand that is not above the table. It is still in my lap.

I make slow movements to bring his hand to the forefront. Gavin lets me lead as I place his hand on the table. Mrs. Lincoln picks up Gavin's small fingers in her own. They are identical. The two could not deny their DNA if they wanted to.

"You have good taste. And the ring is beautiful." Mrs. Lincoln smiles at me. I don't miss the compliment towards my love.

"Thank you." I offer. She is right; Gavin is definitely a stellar pick.

"They said that you ask about me." Gavin barely raises his voice. I grab his hand again, clasping our fingers together where Mrs. Lincoln can see.

"I didn't forget about you. How could I?" Mrs. Lincoln breathes out. She shakes her head repeatedly. Her eyes are sad. I worry that the subject may not be a good one.

"I think about you a lot too." Gavin confesses. I try to temper the pain that the thought brings to me. I never give too much time to the fact that he has no parents.

"Did you finish school?" Mrs. Lincoln asks.

"I did. I'm a nurse." Gavin smiles proudly. It is the first smile I have seen all morning. I missed his smile.

"I am proud of you. That had to be difficult. You were always smart. Always such a sweet boy." Mrs. Lincoln appraises my love. I feel warmth and pain at their conversation. There is no comfort in the recollection. It is painful on both sides of the table.

"I am proud of myself." Gavin speaks louder this time. He lets go of the tight grip on my hand. He stands up, causing me to watch his every move.

"It wasn't easy. I had a lot to deal with. But I did it. All by myself. I did it." Gavin talks into the air.

"I am sorry." Mrs. Lincoln addresses the elephant in the air.

"You shouldn't be. You don't have to be. I am not mad at you. I am just angry." Gavin breathes out heavily. He doesn't sound angry. He sounds exhausted.

"I keep trying to get better, for you." Mrs. Lincoln tells my love. Gavin looks at her with eyes that are confused.

"You aren't going to get better. Don't do that. Please." Gavin slides back into the seat beside me. He grabs his mother's hand without worrying about the warnings.

"I don't want you to worry about me. I came here to make sure you were okay. I am good. I am great. I have Alexei." Gavin looks at me before turning his attention back to his mom. He squeezes both of her hands in his own.

"I'm glad you found him." Mrs. Lincoln smiles softly at me. I try to return the gesture.

"Me too, Mom. I am glad you are here. I am glad you are safe. I am happy that I saw you. I will come back if you want me to or I will stay away. Whatever you need. I will do it." Gavin just starts issuing statements while I wait to see what he will say next.

"I am happy you came." Mrs. Lincoln squeezes Gavin's hands back.

"I wanted to tell you thank you." Gavin starts. "I wanted you to know that I know you didn't want to leave me, and I am so grateful that you did. Thank you for letting me go when you did. It was a shit road but, I made it. You helped me make it."

"I tried to keep us together." Mrs. Lincoln closes her eyes. It doesn't help. I see the tears before her eyelashes meet. This is as hard on her as it is on him.

"I know. I love you for that. I love you for letting me go too." Gavin reaches over, swiping the tears off his mother's face before lifting her chin. "I will always love you. You will always be my mom."

I have to hold back the sob that is trying to choke me. I didn't know what to expect when we came. I wasn't prepared. I didn't think about any of these scenarios when we were on our way over here. I just blindly walked into this shit.

"I love you, Gavin. I will always love you." Mrs. Lincoln stands up. She steps away from the table. The distance feels final in that moment. I don't know if I am reading the air correctly. However, suddenly it feels as though a goodbye has passed.

"I'm going to eat lunch. It was nice to see you." Mrs. Lincoln walks away without another word, leaving me to pick up the pieces.

"Baby?" I ask suddenly.

Gavin doesn't say a word. He grabs my hand, leading me back the way we came. I follow him as he takes us back to our car. When we get there, he places his head on the hood, and he cries.