Amanda's POV

Is this how my life is supposed to be me killing for entertainment yet still I'm too scared to actually face my fears and kill the man who caused me all this pain.

I'm still shocked they didn't know about all the abuse. They kick me think it was all I felt. Thinking I was going to heal I did but the scar marks are still there I'm still broken still shattered into a million pieces just picking them up.

I'm not always strong and independent. I scream like mother nature, like the sky, like the ocean like any one else. When the rain would fall at night I wouldn't be so lonely know mother nature was in pain as well.

"You deserve to die....you slut" I repeated his words sitting up I had the same dream again last night it was currently six in the morning meaning everyone would soon be up.

"Your worthless" I repeated all the thoughts coming back none of them could come up with a reason for me to continue....living.

"Why would he do that?" I asked aloud. Did he want them to think I was okay that I was fine just over reacting. Did he think my screams where fake my pain was nothing.

"Who do you think you are bitch" I chuckled at the end rembering the day when I left this hell hole so...why am I back.

"Oh look the bitch is back" I laughed lightly not wanting to wake anyone.

"Learn your place-" my voice cracked as I gripped my rode as two tears  fell from my eyes. No I couldn't be crying. Just relax Amanda stay calm.

"No one will love you if your unattractive" I sang the song that always kept me company. When they put makeup on me so I could look presentable, they changed me feed, me made me look...perfect. To make it look like nothing was wrong I bet that's what they did to Cassandra.

"Big Mac will I ever be strong like you" I laughed recalling how much I looked up to my brothers when I was younger when they were alive.

"Yeah you'll be even stronger Lil Sis and pretty but no one will ever harm you" I repeated his words leaning against the bed end.

"You promise" I smiled remembering when they were kind to me so where my parents.

"Yeah I promise" I laughed evilly now. Where was that promise now was punching me not considered harming to him. Was slapping me considered protecting me.

I got out of bed and looked in the mirror. The scars where there just not on my face they were careful not to hit there.

I lifted up my shirt and whimpered looked at the scar that will for ever haunt me. The mark that has given me nightmares. They didn't know. Or did they?

"Was hitting me okay?" I asked the mirror pretending it was my brother.

"I thought you said I was pretty and perfect"  I whispered looking at it with tears in my eyes.

"But I'm not!" I yelled the last part pulling the mirror down smashing it in the process.

"Am I perfect now Alpha Richards oh better yet Edward do you want to play with me now" I asked smearing you lipstick all over my face. I went into my weapon bag and grabbed the sledge hammer.

"Do you love me now?" I asked another mirror there where multiple in the room.

"No one will ever harm me!" I yelled smashing another mirror it's like they kept coming back.

"Is this good enough for you Nicholas or are you going to beat me since your pancake is too cold?" I asked my reflection then smashed that mirror too.

"Or Edward am I too repulsive for you to talk to?" smash goes the mirror.

"And you Marcus you promised no one would harm me" smashed yet another one.

"Joshua are you happy with that or do you want me to add more sugar  oh I'm sorry I can't fufil your needs after all I'm not important just beat me and you'll be fine" smashed again.

"Micheal do you need me to satisfy yourself again since your mate isn't there to do that" smashed.

"Oh yeah Ashley how's your coffee is it hot enough" smash I'm sure that wasn't a mirror.

"It's okay Lil Panda I'm here to protect you" There goes the tv.

"No, no I'm fine just a few broken bone" There goes something else.

"I just wish you would of just told me I would of killed my self then" I whispered standing in front of the picture of the six of us when my parents where alive I was four while Marcus was six, Nicholas four and Edward three his two front teeth where missing and he had his teddy bear in his had.

"If I knew I was such a disgrace I wouldn't embarrass you case I love you even though you don't love me back" I whispered dropping to my knees with the photo in hand quietly sobbing.

Marcus POV

Did we hurt her that much? I wondered if I stood outside Amanda's door. She sounded so hurt so lonely.

"Big Mac will I ever be strong like you" she laughed. I wanted to go and say I'm sorry but I couldn't.

"Yeah you'll be strong Lil Sis and pretty but no one will ever harm you" I whimpered at the words I said.

"You promise" she repeated the words correctly I felt so ashamed of  your self.

"Yeah I promise" I whispered the last part to my self sliding down the closed down she was right. I'm supposed to protect her not hurt her and now she hates me.

"Was hitting me okay?" I shook my head no even though she couldn't see me.

"I thought you said I was pretty and perfect " I could barley hear her if it wasn't for my werewolf genes. I wanted to go and say you are!

"But I'm not!" Yes you are!I heard something being smashed but I didn't want to move.

"And I perfect now Alpha Michael or better yet Edward do you want to play with me now " I looked to see both my brothers standing right beside the door listening to her.

"Do you love me now" Yes we do. Smash something goes again.

"No one will ever harm me" I again whimpered knowing this was our fault. I'm such a horrible brother.

"Is this good enough Nicholas or are you going to beat me since your pancake is too cold?" I glanced at Nicholas who turned away.

"Or Edward am I too repulsive for you to talk to?" Edward crossed his hands over his chest turning away as well.

"And Marcus you promised no one would harm me" smashed goes something else.

"Joshua are you happy with that or do you want me to add more sugar oh I'm sorry I can't fufil your needs after all I'm not important just beat me and you'll be fine" another smash I felt so worthless now. Was this how she truly felt.

"Micheal do you need me to satisfy yourself again since your mate isn't here to do that" Wait what. All there of our heads snapped in the direction of her room.

"Oh yeah Ashley how's your coffee is it hot enough " smash goes that too.

"It's okay Lil Panda I'm here to protect you" I put my hands over my hface ashamed.

"I wish you would of just told me I would of killed my self then" No don't do that you....perfect it was all me..

"If I knew I was such a disgrace I wouldn't embarrass you case I love you even though you don't love me back" we do love you back it's just......complicated. I messed up big time.

"It's almost time for breakfast let's go" Nicholas said walking away wih his hands in his pocket.

"Was it that bad?" Edward whispered to me.

"I'm not even sure..come on bro let's go" I patted his back then put one hand over his shoulder pulling him with me.

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So much emotion! Well I hope you like that chapter if you did please vote well vote even if you didn't do it anyway. Thank you for reading this it means a lot to me.

Anyway so for all those who wanted ,meto put out Mal's story I will I'll tell you when but this is the deal of it post it and no one reads it I'm deleting it okay. That's it for this chapter hope you enjoyed...

I love you guys 😚😚😚😚😚😚

Bye Angels 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇