Recap: Gaara completely took off one of Kabuto's legs from the knee down. I turned away, burying my head in Zabuza's chest, determined not to puke at the horrific sight.

That was the trigger to the shit show of the invasion.

Gaara's sand was swirling widely, preparing to attack Gai, but a loud explosion in the Kage's box stopped him, along with everyone else. All the attention turned to the explosion, and when the dust cleared, the Kazekage and a few other Sand ninja were holding the Hokage hostage at knife point. The 'Kazekage' smirked and let out an evil chuckle, then disappeared with Lord Third, Leaf ANBU hot on his trail. 

Not a second later, the arena was being overrun with Sand and Sound ninja, all of them aiming to kill. It was complete and utter chaos, everywhere I looked, people were fighting, dying, or fleeing. Kunai were barreling at Gaara, but his sand blocked them all, rendering them useless. Any ninja that attempted to get near me and Zabuza, Gaara crushed them mercilessly. Zabuza lowered me to the ground, his eyes filled with lust for battle, yet there was still worry. I hissed as my hip touched the ground, this is literally the worst time to not be able to walk.

"Hinata, I'm going to set your hip, I'm no doctor and this is going to hurt like a bitch but you better not cry about it brat. We need you moving, I cant protect you if I cant fight." I nodded and bit down on my lip, preparing myself for pain. The tendons are wrecked, but if the bone is in place again, I'll at least be able to walk for now. 

Zabuza placed his large hands on My hips and with a hard push, there was a crack and my hip was no longer dislodged from its socket. I let out a loud string of curses, my mouth more foul than normal. Zabuza chuckled and pat my head, knowing I'd be fine.

"Dammit Motherfucker, that shit hurts like a fucking bitch." Before standing up, I ripped off my fishnet shirt and tied it as tight as I could around my hip, so at least it could have the slightest bit of stability. I pushed myself up, ignoring all of the thoughts of needing to stop moving. Four sand and two sound Shinobi surrounded Gaara, Zabuza, and I. 

They looked deadly, and by the malicious looks on both Gaara and Zabuza's faces, they were all top notch ninja. The sound Shinobi drew Zabuza away in a feirce battle and leaving the rest to Gaara and I. I pulled out my dagger for the first time in a while, blocking the sword swiped at me, but I was still off balance and the ninja kicked me, aiming for my injured hip. 

I moved enough to redirect the hit to my thigh, but the pain flared throughout my leg. While I was busy with this guy, the other 3 were fighting Gaara. Gaara managed to crush one of his opponents but with perfect precision, the other two landed attacks. The taller ninja sent a massive wave of water at Gaara, dampening his sand making it heavy and too slow to guard from most attacks. 

The other shinobi landed a heavy blow to Gaara, injecting him with some kind of extremely potent sleeper agent. Fuck, they dragged Gaara off somewhere to release Shukaku themselves since he was so unwilling. The ninja I was fighting was about to send another attack but stopped as a Kunai was sticking out of his chest.

"Hinata. Go with Pakkun. I'll send Naruto and Sasuke as backup." Kakashi ordered, all hints of his playfulness gone. He was a deadly ninja now, Kakashi the Sharingan Warrior. Pakkun was summoned and he took off, me following behind him, gritting my teeth as I did my best to ignore the excruciating pain my hip was sending throughout my leg.

After a few minutes, we made it to a small clearing. I perched on the trees, watching to see what I needed to do. Gaara was awake again, he luckily wasn't out long enough to release Shukaku yet. There was chakra suppressors on his arms, preventing him from doing anything. The shorter ninja from before punched and kicked Gaara repeatedly.

"You damn demon, you know your role in the invasion. Release Shukaku or we will make you!" He roared, sending another kick to Gaara, who this time coughed up blood. Gaara just grinned up at the men.

"I'll kill each and everyone of you, I cant wait to feel alive as the red of your blood glistens in my sand." I shivered at the tone of his voice, it was excited and angry. A bad combination for him. Another punch was sent to Gaara's face. His normally black eyes were swollen, and there were bruises littering his usually perfect skin.

"If you wont cooperate, I will just kill you. I'm sure the village wont miss a psychopathic demon like you. I know your dear father wouldn't." The man pulled out a kunai, walking towards Gaara with a look of lust. He was so ready to kill Gaara. He brought the Kunai down, piercing through Gaara's forearm. The two Sand Shinobi laughed in pure glee as they ripped out the Kunai and drove it back down on Gaara. I saw red, my anger reached it's peak. 

Gaara, a boy who had the misfortune of growing up with the Shittiest life imaginable, betrayed by everyone he loved and was taught to hate the world. Yet, somehow he found away to change, he protected me when I was so easy to kill, he decided to go against his village, not releasing Shukaku just to protect the place I love. He was my friend, my family and they were just torturing him for the fun of it. It's the same as Naruto, they were one and the same. 

How can people be so cruel and hateful, they are not worth donning the title of Shinobi, having no reason to hurt Gaara but for their own pleasure. Something inside me snapped and I appeared right before one of the men, clutching his hand in mine, crushing all of the bones with ease.

"Don't touch him you monster." I growled out, my voice was shaking with anger. "He has done nothing to you, yet you attack and torture him. You all fear him because of what your village put inside of him, but you beat on him when he wont release what you are all so scared of. He is a hero, containing the beast that could so easily take you out, yet you treat him like the monster so I'll say it again. Don't. Touch. Gaara." Instead of crying out like I thought he would with a crushed hand, he laughed right in my face.

"You idiotic little girl trying to play the hero. You just fell into our trap. I see the way you interact with the demon, and how much he cares about you. I knew you'd follow even in your pathetic state and now you're my leverage." His teammate came up and restrained me, putting pressure on my hip and holding my hands tightly behind me. With his broken hand, he raised the kunai to my throat, and just to be an asshole, he threw another Kunai at Gaara, hitting him where Sasuke's Chidori struck. "Demon boy, If you want her to live, release Shukaku." Gaara stood up and closed his eyes in defeat.

"Fine, but remember this, I will kill you both for touching her." My eyes widened in fear.

"No Gaara, please you don't have to do this." I cried out, my voice weak and pleading. The Shinobi with the broken hand made a mistake. He removed the suppression cuffs from Gaara and there was only one man holding me down. Gaara raised his sand to kill them, but I saw the new man who appeared behind him. Gaara's sand was still slow and couldn't block the attack, so I did what needed to be done.

I twisted out of my captors grip, giving him a gentle fist to the chest. His chakra to his lungs and heart were severed and he dropped town to the ground dead. The unknown man readied a kunai, but I was faster and I threw mine with accuracy I never had before. The kunai pierced right between his eyes. The third man, I took out with a chakra infused punch to the head, crushing his skull. I could feel and see the life of each of them leave and it was when the final man dropped to the ground that I realized what I'd done. 

I'd taken a life, something I never have done. I knew it was coming and would be part of the job but I never actually thought about it too much, taking a life with my own hands. That's what scared me, it was so easy and I did it with no hesitation. My hands were covered in blood, maybe not literally, but it was still there. What right do I have to play god, I know I said I would do anything to protect my friends, but I killed 3 men.

I sank to my knees, my senses completely shut off. All I could see was the blood covering my hands and pooling around me. I could feel my chakra severing the man's chakra in his heart, I could see the way my kunai pierced the man's head, spraying his gray matter across the trees, I could feel the man's skull collapse. Oh god  I could feel his skull collapse, I could feel it in perfect quality as my fist made contact with his skull, the feeling of it cracking like a cracker. I didn't even know I could do that and yet I did it with perfect ease. 

I knew exactly where to hit and what to do to kill each man effortlessly. All I could feel were their deaths, it was all my fault. I did it, I did it with no hesitation, and the thing that scares me the most is I'd do it again. I feel guilty, I feel so guilty for taking their lives but I feel no regret. It was them or us, and I chose us. I will always choose us. Shouldn't I feel more bad, does this make me the monster? I ignored the 'blood' that covered my body and put my hands over my eyes. Crying loudly.

"I killed them, I killed them." I chanted over an over. I killed them and I would kill them again and again to save Gaara. I can still see their deaths, I can feel it. I killed them, then everything went white.

(3d POV)

Gaara watched in silence as the blue haired girl broke down. She sunk to her knees and her usually lively face was blank, her piercing lavender eyes were wide, glazed over, and lifeless as she stared at her hands. He watched confused and helpless as he didn't know how to comfort his friend and didn't fully understand why she was acting the way she was. His heart was beating fast, his palms were clammy, and he felt so warm inside. 

She saved him from death, she saw his as more than a monster, she calmed down the raging beast inside. It was one thing for her to tell Gaara that she would show him love and care, he began to believe her when she was around him, but he finally understood when she stood up for him in front of the people torturing him. 

He couldn't even feel the pain inflicted on him because he felt so... happy. At first Gaara knew he wanted to keep her close because she was strong and would be fun to kill, but over time, she wormed her way into his heart. She was his friend and he thought that they could kill everyone and be together forever. He would be more than what Yashamaru made him as. Her plight began to click into place as Gaara listened to her mumbling.

"I killed them. I killed them." Her usually sweet sounding voice whispered in horror. Gaara finally understood. It was her first kill and she was traumatized. He remembered the pain from his first kill and he realized, despite never having killed, she was willing to Kill for him. To kill so he didn't have to kill anymore. Those hidden whispers of murder in his mind finally silenced and he felt as if the veil of hatred over his eyes was lifted. Gaara walked over to Hinata, she was completely silent now. The blank look still remaining. 

Carefully, he picked her up but she made no reaction to acknowledge his existence. Using his sand, they flew to somewhere safe. The battles were ending and Gaara knew the leaf had won since the sand and sound were retreating. Gaara found the blond boy who radiated sunshine. He and the dark haired boy were standing over his siblings and Baki. All defeated. The emotions he'd been suppressing with hatred came forth and although it was all new and scary, he felt worried.

Naruto and Sasuke looked up from Temari, Baki, and Kankuro and saw a bloodied Gaara carrying Hinata, she looked defeated and like the life was sucked out of her. Gaara was from the sand like those who attacked. Sasuke was nervous, he knew he couldn't last in another fight with Gaara, he had to put his hope in Naruto.

"What the hell did you do to her you bastard. Let her GO!" Naruto yelled out in anger, ready to give another person a Therapy Jutsu beatdown. Gaara lowered his sand to the ground, still unwilling to let go of the girl who saved him. Gaara dismissed Sasuke and walked right towards the blonde. The boy who had the same eyes as himself, the one who he knew would lay down his life to help Hinata.

"Naruto Uzumaki. I am no threat to Hinata. She saved me. I know she saved you too, you are like me. I can see it in your eyes." Naruto looked in Gaara's eyes seeing himself as a lonely young boy. They connected, an unbreakable bond was formed at that moment, he knows why Hinata wanted them to meet now. A friend who was just like him. Against his better judgement, Naruto knew he could trust Gaara. 

He took a step forward but was stopped by Sasuke who was still hesitant about Gaara. Naruto ignored him and gave Gaara a small friendly smile before averting his gaze to Hinata. She looked so pitiful it was hard to look at. Naruto placed his hand on her cheek but she didn't move at all, it was like she couldn't feel him.

"What. happened." Sasuke asked his Uchiha glare in full force. Gaara looked him in the eye, unflinching.

"She killed them to save me." Sasuke and Naruto froze, their eyes trained on the blank girl. Naruto knew what she was feeling, the pain of killing somebody. He was lucky, he didn't remember killing them, but she was fully aware, she felt every kill. She would feel the guilt, the regret and he knew he'd have to console her the way she did him.

 Her heart was so big and loving, to kill somebody might break her without the right support. Sasuke was extremely worried, the only time he's ever seen Hinata look so broken was after the massacre when she blamed the deaths of my family on herself. This time though, there is no spark what so ever, she took their lives directly.

The young ninja's had an agreement. Gaara hesitantly handed Hinata off to Naruto, who carried her small tense body with care Sasuke has never seen him exercise. Gaara picked up his siblings with his sand, and after one more glance and the unspoken new friendship with Naruo, he fled. Sasuke ran his hands through his hair before shoving them deeply in his pockets. Together he and Naruto made their way through the trees back to the village. They knew they needed to find Kakashi and Shisui, they were the best options of fixing their teammate.

Naruto dropped Hinata off in the hospital to get her physical injuries healed and hightailed it to find Kakashi-sensei, not ready for the news that is to come. Naruto went to the arena where he last saw Kakahsi, and after a few minutes of searching, he found the silver haired Jonin dragging bodies of enemy ninja into the pile for them to be sent off to the autopsy corps. Naruto could feel the overwhelming aura of sadness filling the air, it was so depressing it made the happy blonde struggle to breathe. 

Naruto bounded over to Kakashi, dragging him along to the hospital as he informed him of what happened. Kakashi knew it was going to be a difficult few days for everyone, he was worried about telling Naruto Lord Third died, he did not want to have two depressed students and a Sasuke. Kakashi sent a shadow clone to inform Zabuza so that Zabuza can inform her father. Yet another emotional conversation Kakashi did not think he was qualified or mentally stable enough to have.

Sasuke left to his house to find Shisui, praying with every fiber of his being that Shisui was not injured in the mass destruction that the village has gone through. He released a sigh of relief when he made it to his block and there was only minor damage done. Sasuke bust into his home and just by Sasuke mumbling Hinata's name, Shisui took Sasuke and body flickered into the hospital where he was informed of the situation. 

As a pacifist, Shisui knows the toll a first kill can take on someone, especially someone as people loving as Hinata. She may be violent, but he didn't think she had the heart to kill. He allowed Sasuke to lead him to his precious Imouto's room.

Hiashi and Zabuza were the last to arrive, but the sight was not a pretty one. Hinata was laying in her bed still staring down at her hands looking lifeless. Nothing anyone tried would wake her up, it was as if she was in a trance and no words could break her out of it. Kakashi knew the look well, she was not traumatized for killing those men, she was not scared of anyone but herself. The problem she had was with herself, not with the act of killing somebody else. He knew that look because it was the same one he saw in the mirror every day. 

He just wanted to know why she was so at odds with herself, he did not like the look in her eyes. It reminded him so much of all the death he has seen, the look of life leaving somebodies eyes. Zabuza knew Hinata was panicking, the first kill always is the hardest whether its for regret or lack thereof and he knew the only way to snap Hinata out of her trance. Tough love was what he could give, he'd wake her up and leave the coddling to someone else. Crying brats will always be gross.

Zabuza walked up to Hinata and raised his hand, they thought he was finally going to show some normal affection with a pat on the head or something but jaws dropped when Zabuza brought his hand down and slapped the blue-haired beauty right across the face. The only sound was the echo of his hand on her face. 

Kakashi and Hiashi knew the blow up that was to come so each of them grabbed ahold of her teammates, stopping them from attacking Zabuza. Both boys stopped their struggling when they saw Hinata. Her eyes were no longer dull grey, they had the color and life back in them and there were tears streaming down her finally expressive face.

(Hinata POV)

The white around me faded as there was a stinging on my face and I felt my head snap sideways. It dawned on me that someone just slapped the shit out of me. It couldn't have come sooner, the white around me was driving me to insanity. All of my thoughts came flooding and water unwillingly fell from my eyes. I'm a monster.

 I'm a murderer and I feel no regret for it. What kind of horrible person am I. Was I just sent here so that I could realize that I'm not a hero, that I'll never be. Was I sent here to realize how much of a horrible person I am, I mean what kind of hero kills somebody and feels NO regret.

I finally lifted my head from looking at my bloody hands, the hands of a monster. Surrounding me were Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, Zabuza, and my dad; each wearing a different expression. Naruto began to coddle me, telling me how it's ok and I'm not a bad person for killing. That the regret will always be there but it will lessen overtime. 

I kept getting various people telling me to not regret it and that killing doesn't make me a bad person or that they know killing is hard but it's apart of life as a ninja. I finally snapped, done with them trying to make me feel better about the monster I am. Maybe I do belong as a rogue, someone who kills and never looks back.

"Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. Don't try to coddle me or tell me I did the right thing. I know damn well I did the right thing, what I was trained to do. It was us or them and I chose us. Don't try to make me out as a hero either. I'm not a fucking hero, don't you see that I'm a monster. I killed them, I killed all three of them without batting an eyelash. I didn't hesitate, it was easy and I feel no regret what so ever, if it came down to it. I'd kill them again and again. Even with feeling the man's skull crack under my fist or the kunai lodged into the other's brain. I don't regret one second of it. What kind of monster doesn't regret murdering someone." 

I yelled out at them, hoping that something anything would let them see me for what I am. 

Maybe if they hate me, then I can finally accept I will never be a hero. The room was silent, everyone was staring at me with wide eyes. Dad, Zabuza, Shisui, and Sasuke were the first to leave. It was tense and I was waiting for the rest to leave me, leave me like the cold-blooded killer I am. Who did I think I was playing, I wanted to be a hero so bad but when it came down to it, my heart is just not worthy of being one. Something is wrong with me.

"Naruto. Leave." Kakashi stated. Naruto looked between us, a hurt look on his face.

"But B-but K-." He stuttered out. Kakashi kept his eyes locked with me, not looking at Naruto.

"Now." That was an order and Naruto agreed, leaving with his head hanging low. Kakashi moved in silent grace, pulling up a chair next to my bed.

"You think you're a monster is that right? Why you shut down and scared your friends and family." His voice was calm but it had sharp edge in it. I felt compelled by his intensity to converse with him, if anything I wanted to see what he was getting at.

"Yes."

"How did you kill them?"

"The first one I severed his chakra between his lungs and heart. The second I threw a kunai straight through his head. The third one I punched him so hard his skull con-caved beneath my fist. I can still feel it each kill. The feeling won't go away. My hands are covered in their blood." Kakashi held my hands and rubbed circles on my palms while he watched me, his stare unwavering.

"Do you regret killing them?" I sighed, I already told him I didn't regret anything.

"No."

"Did you hesitate?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because they were going to kill Gaara so I stopped them."

"Gaara has killed, why didn't you let him kill them?"

"His sand was wet and would have moved too slow, I didn't want to risk it."

"What if he could have killed them, would you still have reacted the same?"

"Yes."

"Why?" I was getting frustrated by his constant pestering, I know I'm a monster so why is he trying to re-affirm that. I took a minute to try to from my thoughts into words.

"Because Gaara has killed before, he was finally changing and I didn't want him to feel like a monster anymore. I would have still killed them so he didn't have to."

"So you killed them to protect Gaara?"

"Yes."

"And you don't feel remorse?"

"Yes." I growled out.

"Would you feel guilty if you didn't kill them and instead Gaara or yourself got killed?"

"Yes."

"Did you like killing them? Was it enjoyable?"

"No. I hated the feeling of killing them."

"Then why was it so easy?"

"Because I'm a monster."

"No." Kakashi stated firmly.

"Excuse me? What the hell do you mean no. I'm a monster, I killed easily and I don't feel any regret about it."

"Do you think I'm a monster?" Kakashi asked. I gaped at him.

"What, no of course not."

"i've killed, I kill all the time and I do it with no hesitation. I can take my Chidori and crush someone's heart without even blinking. I feel no remorse. So I'll ask you again. Am I a monster?"
"No, you do it because you are protecting the people you love."

"So did you. You killed to protect Gaara. What about that makes you a monster?" My head was rolling, I was struggling to comprehend how easily Kakashi rationalized my feelings.

"I-. I." I stuttered, trying to voice my thought's. I was stumped. I feel like a monster, but when Kakashi explains it to me, it makes it sound less bad, more like a ninja than a monster.

"From where I stand, you are not a monster, you are now a real Kunoichi. You were trained to kill. You killed for the most honorable reason, to protect your friend. You did not like killing, you hated it. A monster would like the killing. You didn't hesitate because your heart is so full of love, you would do anything to protect the people you care about, your body figured that out faster than your brain did. You feel no remorse because you subconsciously know you did the right thing. You killed for the right reasons and you feel this way now because you at some level feel guilty for killing even if you would do it again. To me, that makes you an outstanding ninja, a true hero." 

My mouth was wide open, gaping like a fish. Everything I thought about, I was only thinking about pieces of it, putting my fear of not being able to be a hero into my thoughts on killing. Kakashi eased the tension in the room and let out a chuckle. He patted my head with a closed eye smile. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to me, hugging him tightly and mumbling thank you's into his dirty Jonin vest. Kakashi placed his masked lips on my forehead tenderly then did a two finger salute as he flickered away.

Naruto was the first one back in my room and I was tackled into a hug.

"Don't you ever scare me like than Hina-chan. I thought we'd lost you for a second dattebayo. Just because you killed doesn't make you a monster. Remember what you told me, it's only when you enjoy the killing that you become a monster." Naruto said with a smile, his blue eyes boring into my lavender ones. "Oh yeah before I forget, what about that Gaara kid. What's his story?" Naruto's eyes shined in anticipation, so I told him the story of Gaara's oh so wonderful life. 

At the end, Naruto's fists were clenched, but he had a bright determined smile on his face. "That's it, I'm going to make sure he never feels alone again!" For the first time since my mental break, a small smile graced my lips. Being with Naruto helps me forget all of the dark thoughts threatening to plague my mind, he really is light in the darkness. There is still that voice telling me I'll fail, that I'm not worth being a hero, that my existence here ruined everything for everyone; but with the help of people like Kakashi did today, maybe just maybe it won't take control again.

The next day, the news of Orochimaru killing the Hokage spread throughout the village. He died valiantly in battle, protecting the village he loves until his last breath. Naruto and Shisui were both a mess. I pushed away the sadness as much as I could to be strong for them. They both knew Lord Third so well, he was family to them, he cared for them without a doubt and I had to be strong, be their shoulder to cry on for once.

I spent time with my friends and family for the days preceding the funeral, but no matter what, I couldn't stop feeling the death. I could still see the blood on my hands. Sleeping at night, my dreams were filled with murder. My hands crushing skulls, destroying chakra networks without remorse. I'd wake up each night in a cold sweat, my hands covered in blood that wouldn't come off. I'd see myself kill over and over until it would drive me mad. The worst was I could still barely walk and so there was nothing I could do to get my mind off of it, all I could do was stare into nothingness.