I have to leave tonight to head to that ball thingie for the Feudal Lord of the Ice Kingdom and since I would be gone for a few days, I was putting in as much training with Lady Tsunade as I could. I've managed to finally hold the mystic palm long enough to stitch and heal the wounds on the small fish so now Lady Tsunade has me working on Larger fish and other injured animals until she deems me ready to work on people. Thankfully, I have enough control to not make anything burst and get guts all over me. 

Sadly, I can barely manage to hold the technique for 5 minutes before it fails. Tsunade sometimes takes breaks to aid me, it's mainly so that she an avoid paperwork, but even the smallest help she gives has aided me in furthering my skill. She told me that if I calm my mind and find something to think about why I want to become a medical ninja, focusing on that will help me figure out how to use the mystic palm and master it. Once I have that down, we can work on my field awareness so I am not a target while healing.

My hair was up in a messy bun and there was sweat covering my whole body. I've been trying to stitch a deep gash in the side of a fish longer than my arm. I've managed to close enough of the wound to stop it from being fatal but that's not enough. My hands are hovering over the fish, the light green glow covering my hands and seeping into the wound threading the muscles and tissues back together. The light began to flicker, my arms were shaking wildly and the strain I was feeling was exhausting, but I cannot stop now. I'm finally pushing the 6 minute mark and need to keep going. If I am going to be able to heal the people close to me even in the slightest I need to be able to heal this stupid fish fully. I need to be able to keep this tedious ninjutsu up for more than 5 minutes.

Clear my mind, clear my mind. All the stress I felt in pushing myself to become a medical ninja, the exhaustion, the strain in my chakra from keeping it separated and in complete control for so long. All of this melted out of my mind as I zeroed in on the fish. My hands steadied and I spread my chakra throughout the fish, merging my chakra with it's, sending the flow to the wound allowing it to weave itself back together. Watching the flesh close up was nothing short of a miracle. I've been trained to kill, I know all of the points to take somebody out. Fighting, I love to fight, I love the ruggedness and the adrenaline, but this was something new. 

It was calming, it was undeniably beautiful to see the hands I have trained to destroy to heal something. I want to protect the people I love, I want to make the world better for people and I have been doing that through my fists, literally. Now, focusing solely on the healing, the saving on a life, there is another way for me to help. I will fight to protect but I will also heal to protect. A newfound determination surged through my trembling body and I watched in pure awe as the wound fully closed itself back up, leaving a faint scar on the now flopping fish.

I took another fish from the tank and sliced it, piercing through the lung too. I calmed my mind and the chakra around my hands changed from blue to a calming green. I slowly inserted my chakra into the fish, intertwining my chakra and flowing it through the body, focusing mainly on the lungs and gash. I yet again thought about the beauty of it again, the ability to protect with the mystic palm. I weaved my chakra like a needle and stitched the fish back together. Slowly but surely, the injuries I inflicted on the fish healed fully and it was happily flopping away. 

I pushed my limit, found my center, my true reasoning for being a medical ninja. My muscles and chakra were exhausted but I didn't care. I jumped up and did a little dance cheering. Tsunade looked at me in pride and amusement. She knew I finally found my motivation and was on my way to being worthy of the title as her apprentice. Tsunade got up and opened one of the cabinets in her room. Within it there were two scrolls, she pulled them both out and set them down in front of me.

"I was planning on waiting for you to be a bit older for these scrolls, but after seeing your resolve, it's time for you to learn what it means to be the apprentice of Tsunade Senju. I cannot train you when you are gone so instead, you will read these scrolls. Every word and line of them. These are techniques that I have created and I believe you will do right by them."

"Hell Yeah! I won't let you down master! At least now I have something to look forward to on my trip to hang out with a bunch of stingy nobles." Tsunade barked out a laugh and sent me on my way. I have to go pack and need to be leaving for the Ice Kingdom soon. I picked up the scrolls and jumped out the window like a boss. Since it is an important event, I was not allowed to pack my own clothes for the trip. Hanabi, Lady Seiko, and the clan elders decided on my clothing choices for me. I'd be afraid of looking like a frilly doll, but with the aid of Lady Seiko, I know she helped pick something that wouldn't make me hate myself. 

I packed my training scrolls and some weapons just in case, but of course I got caught by the annoying all seeing eyes and they confiscated all of my ninja stuff. Hanabi popped into my room, her hands behind her back and looking extremely adorable.

"Hello Nee-chan."

"What cha need Hime?" Her face lit up in a blushing happy smile and she grabbed my hand. I let her drag me to wherever she wanted to go. She's so excited I don't know if I have it in me to say no. Damn, I am such a weakling when it comes to her. Hanabi pulled me into one of the rooms in the compound. Waiting there were a few women from our clan. There were piles of clothing laid out around the room, a vanity, and much more. The sweet smile Hanabi gave tricked me. I put my hand over my heart and feigned being hurt.

"You wound me little Hime, those eyes and cute smiles of yours deceived me yet again. When am I going to learn to not fall for that." She giggled cutely and pulled me into a chair. The women around me bowed and I waved them off telling them to not bow to me.

"Nee-chan, you're going to meet lots of pretty princes so we are going to give you a makeover. You have to look your best." She spoke out, her voice soft and shy but with more confidence than usual. One look into her excited lavender eyes and I gave in.I was being primped and pampered just for my arrival, the ball isn't for another day but i still have to uphold my clan by looking presentable during our first meeting. No ninja play is what I was told, some noble clan leaders and heirs will be there but there will also be a lot of rich civilians so I can't act as a ninja. I can announce my rank and everything, but I need to look like a royal not a ninja. 

The women around me, with the help of Hanabi went to work. I was scrubbed clean, so much so that the callouses on my body were gone. They put some goopy black stuff on my face and really cold pads on my eyes. I didn't like not being able to see while people poked and prodded me, it gave me flashbacks to Shisui and his many jokes. Hanabi got so into it that I could hear her softly humming to herself as her tiny hands brushed through my hair. Someone was painting my nails, hopefully not pink, and someone was painting my toes. I was covered in a goopy cream that smells like cherry blossoms and I found myself relaxing a bit to the pampering. After so much training, getting pampered like this once and awhile is nice and calming. I really didn't expect to like it so much.

They finally let me wash off again and my skin was super soft. I looked in the mirror, I didn't look all that different, just a bit more glowy and the bruises that were littered across some of my skin were gone from the stuff they covered me in. I sat back in the chair and they went back to making me over. They put make-up on me, different from my normal kind. It fit more into the look Tsunami gave me on the mission: Long lashes, pink blush and pinker lips. 

I refused to let them do anything heavier than that. Sadly I can't have the makeup I do for myself since it's not sweet enough, but I don't want to look like a Geisha either; I still want to look like myself. Hanabi, like Ino, is some kind of master with hair and with a bit of help, she tucked my mess of hair into some kind of fancy braid thing that came over my shoulder. First, one of the older women wanted to put my hair in a traditional bun but that was a no no. Buns like those are tight, uncomfortable, and take forever. I like my hair to be more on the exciting side instead of the traditional boring slicked back bun. It just doesn't suit my person.

The final step was to dress me in the appropriate attire for meeting them the first time. It has to be elegant but not overly so. Honestly, sweatpants would be better to wear on the day-long journey but if I'm meeting someone so important, I need to make a good impression and bring honor to my slightly insane clan. I have to prove my right as heiress, ninja wise and politics wise. If it means playing the game they set up for me, I'm going to fucking win. Lady Seiko, its time for some of her training to shine. 

Talk the talk and walk the walk, I'm going to be surrounded by pompous assholes if they are anything like some of the clan elders and noblemen I have met so I'm going to avoid any of the traps they might set, whether it is to have unwanted allegiance with my clan or anything of the sort. Play them at their own game, I know this ball isn't just for me to meet people, it's so much more and I'm going to have to measure up.

The elders of my clan are old fashioned in the way that the man should be in charge, that women are simple minded dolls made for popping out babies and supporting their husband, the only difference in the Hyuuga is that they want the women to be strong and present themselves as smart loyal wives while actually just being under their control. I think that any wives of previous clan heads were smart but pretended to be what the clan wanted. I know my mom was not a mindless doll and I will not be like that either. 

I'm in the grey area for the elders, I'm not a mindless princess for sure, but they know I am loyal. I push their buttons when I refuse to just become the wife, the title of heir is mine but actually leading the clan, that all belongs to my husband. I've become so strong they can see me taking on the role of the ninja wife while I marry a husband who does everything else, all of the non ninja affairs. Having him be a ninja would only be a bonus.

A reason for this party is not for me to fortify alliances to aid the clan, not for me to show off as the perfect ninja princess they want me to be, not even for me to maybe catch the eye of a smart man who they can add to the list of possible husbands that would do well for the way they want the clan run. My actual intelligence is unknown for a reason, I can be paper smart but I am also a wild person. Sometimes I say things that are stupid or weird and that makes people think I'm not as smart as I am. 

The elders want me to go to the party and be overwhelmed by the clan politics, the manipulative rich people, and all that jazz enough so that I give in and become what the want me to be. A physically strong wife to the leader of the clan. My title of heiress is just a title to them, a means to allow a man be in charge and keep up the oppressive life of my clan. They want to see me fail and become a pawn for them, to feel the pressure and crack so they can pick up the pieces and redesign me into what they desire.

They want me to marry someone who can play the game with them, a man who will take control and do even the worst for my clan. They want him to come in and with me not thinking I can lead well, he can do it for me. I I love the people in my clan but I hate the way my clan functions, I have to be able to do something about that. To bring the change my clan needs to better the lives of everyone and to do that, I will have to play the elders like they hope to play me. I'm going to one day take command of my clan and fix everything that has been broken.

 I love my clan and mostly everyone inside of it, I want to make everyones lives better and if that means playing the part I am set up for, I will do it until I reach my breaking point. My clan deserves so much more, it is not the people but the way it has been led for so long. Father has made some changes but the council still has so much control, to change things I need to have total control.

I push the clan affairs aside most of the time, yes its important but there are so many more world threatening problems that I have to focus on. But now, when it is being put right in my face, I think and think. It's not going to be easy, just like it wont be easy taking out Danzo legally, but to bring about the change that will better so many lives now and in the future, I will do what it takes.

I was dressed in a more modernized Kimono because the Ice Kingdom does not follow traditional Japanese attire, except for festivals, so a normal Kimono would be too fancy. The dress was long and black with watercolor looking hibiscus flowers that covered the bottom and faded towards my waist. The sleeves were long and it was tight on the top but loosened when it met my waistline. It was silky and shiny. There was a bow tied around my waist instead of an Obi. There was no slit for my legs to move, but the fabric was a lot lighter than a normal Kimono so it didn't harbor my walking skills. Kami knows how embarrassing it would be if I ate shit from my lack of wearing full length Kimono's in the last few years. 

I gave thanks to the women for their aid in my beautification  and gave Hanabi a kiss goodbye. My hands clenched around the fabric of my skirt and I hiked up my dress like the lady I am. Waiting for me at the entrance of the village were Sasuke, Neji, and Zabuza; each carrying their own bags. There was a horse drawn cart big enough for all of us to fit and travel in. Showing up by walking the whole way there is not an appropriate way to arrive to an event like this one. I was honestly kind of excited, it will be my first time riding in one and the prospect of not running continuously for hours in a kimono was very appealing.

Sasuke blanched and fought hard to push down the slight blush when I showed up, Neji nodded in approval but also gave me an amused and sympathetic look since he knew I was uncomfortable, and Zabuza laughed. Loudly.

"Who knew an uncouth brat like you could actually look like a respectable girl. You look even less like a ninja than before Hime." Zabuza teased, giving me a knowing look. When he was told I was not aloud any weapons of the sort, he lost it. He thought it was the funniest thing that I was being treated like a little princess child who needed the big bad protection of Zabuza. And now with the abrupt change in clothing choices, I'm never going to gain his respect back. We all got into the cart and I relaxed slightly as the bumps of the trail soothed me. After a bit of talk with everyone, I decided to pull out my scrolls from Lady Tsunade.

 I opened the slightly bigger one that went more into details about healing techniques for a variety of things that are possible to heal ranging from removing poison and toxins from the body to the way to counter cardiac arrest before it's too late. I turned my back and rested it against Neji's side. He glared down at me but did nothing to push me off. Neji was reading a set of scrolls from my father as ways to further his techniques, even as a branch member, Neji's skill and training with my dad has earned him the right to the family scrolls. Sasuke and Zabuza were going over sword techniques and strategies to memorize before Sasuke can be taught to use his sword properly.

I was finishing up on the section on how to remove poison that has entered the blood stream when my eyelids became heavy, the quiet and thrum of the ground beneath me lulled me to sleep. My head fell and Neji moved me to sleep more comfortable while he continued his reading. An electric jolt shot through my body and I shot up swinging a wild punch with my abrupt wakeup. My fist was caught and lowered revealing a smirking Uchiha. Zabuza was thoroughly amused; Neji gave Sasuke a glare for being a brat but he was still amazed by it, I could tell. I wrenched my fist from Sasuke and I jumped at him. I was still a bit dazed so Neji easily caught me and put me back in my seat.

"Refrain from acting like a wild animal Hinata-hime. We are almost there so prepare yourselves." I slumped over and noticed the clothing changes. Zabuza and Neji were both in their Ninja gear but Sasuke was dressed in casual Yukuta. It's black and pink to match mine since he was posing as my date. All of his weapons were hidden from plain sight. He looked annoyed at his outfit but I liked it, he looked super hot and I know all the women there will be all over him. Neji too, it will be so amusing to watch them fight off all the ladies.

The cart stopped and we were let out in front of a castle. Compared to the village, this was crazy. Everything was made of stone and it truly looked like a Kingdom. It is the Ice Kingdom but there was no ice in sight, everything was lush, green, and surrounded by beautiful plants and flowers. It's like Iceland, called Ice but has no ice anywhere; such a misleading name. There were guards stationed on the edge of the bridge that led to the castle entrance. They faced us and were stick straight as an Old man with graying hair and exotic looking rich purple clothing accompanied by a tall man in his early 20's with straight black hair and dressed similarly but had a deep annoyed frown on his handsome face. I feel like he is going to either going piss me off or be super entertaining. When they reached us Neji hit me in the tailbone and so I bowed down to the two. Sasuke begrudgingly following suit as Zabuza pushed him down. I straightened myself and smiled.

"I am Hinata Hyuuga, Ken-sama, Ken-san(his son is Ken-san for now) it is a pleasure to be invited to your Kingdom and meet an ally of my clan in person. I have heard great things about you from the elders. Hiro-sama and Hayane-sama give their best wishes." I plastered on my fake docile smile and did my best not to roll my eyes at the old dude in front of me. He had the fakest smile on his face and I instantly knew he was a greedy asshole of a man and he gave me bad bad vibes. To top it off, I know everyone else was laughing at my actions. The old man took my hand in both of his and planted a kiss on the top.

"The pleasure is all mine Hinata-Hime. I have been waiting to meet the heiress of the Hyuga clan for some time, I have heard wonderful things about you. People talk highly of your beauty but I'm afraid their words do you no justice. You are even more beautiful in person, isn't that right Kaneki my boy." (A/N yes I made Kaneki Ken, sadly he wont be the same as in the anime tho cuz I just wanted to use his name and appearance.) Kaneki grumbled and rolled his eyes in extreme annoyance. He didn't seem to want to be here as much as I did. Maybe he's not so bad, at least he doesn't give me the eerie feeling his father does.

"Yeah whatever I don't care." He turned on his heel and walked away.

"I apologize for his behavior, we are in a disagreement at the moment. Now Hinata-hime, please introduce me to your guardians, although from what I've heard you are more than capable of protecting yourself."

"This is Zabuza Momochi one of the seven swordsman, my cousin Neji Hyuga, and my date for the ball Sasuke." I gestured to each of them and they all shook the Feudal lords hand. He led us inside the castle and gave us a tour of the inside which was just as immaculate on the inside as it is on the outside. There was artwork decorating the walls and marble flooring that sparkled with the sunlight. It was beautiful and rich, nothing like I had ever seen but it was still nothing compared to the beauty of Konoha. When another guest arrived, Ken sent for Kaneki to show us to the inn we were staying at. It was quaint and for protection purposes I was sharing a room with Neji. Kaneki left right after he showed us the Inn, stating that we could find out own way through the town since it's not his job. As cool as seeing the new place was, I cared more about studying my scroll so we left Zabuza to do his own thing and Neji, Sasuke, and I went back my room to study together.

I made it to the last section of the scroll: How to remove poison from the bloodstream. This section interested me a lot because there are people like Shizune, Kabuto, Kankuro, and Sasori who are exceptional in poisons and being able to remove enough of the poison to slow down fatality of it is something I need to know and be able to practice in my lifetime. Plus I feel like somehow if I ever use poison I'd find away to prick myself and would need to get it out of me before I die by accidental suicide.

The scroll basically said to push your own chakra threaded hot water forcefully into the bloodstream and push the water to cover the poison, then to extract it out through the pathway of the bloodstream, keeping all of the poison surrounded by the water to not let it infect more of the blood. It takes a few times to get all the poison out before an antidote can be injected, but removing the poison will prevent any more affects of the poison as well as slowing the possible death substantially. 

It sounds basic in theory but the practice of it is extremely difficult because it requires precise chakra control especially with water in making the water a barrier within the blood while not inserting actual elemental chakra is a feat that seems to be impossible. And to insert water in the veins without clogging up the channels and causing a clot that would mean certain death. Also to drag the poison through the blood has a high possibility of letting it spread faster if not done 100 percent correct. It's a life or death type of medical jutsu and I'm determined to figure it out.

The sun finally set and I finished the first run through of one of the scrolls. My brain was shot and all I wanted was to sleep. I started to get ready for bed but I was stopped before I could change into my pajamas.

"I will not share a room with a person covered in filth from travel. We are not on a typical mission so you will keep yourself clean. We will go to the hot springs and clean off before you even think of going to sleep." Sasuke smirked at me as I looked at Neji in pure awe. Sometimes I forgot how much of a clean freak he is. Sasuke is super organized but Neji is just a freak. He hates things being dirty as much as he hates unhealthy food, which is A LOT. If I didn't know how much of a dedicated Shinobi he was, I would struggle with comprehending how he could handle missions that require camping out. 

Oh the horrors of sleeping with dirt. We all grabbed towels and our pajamas and did the quick walk to the bath house. To my horror, it was MIXED BATHING. Who in Kami's name thought it would be a good idea to have mixed bathing. Like seriously, it had to have been some horny teenage boy or a pervy old man because most people in their right mind don't want to share a bath with the opposite gender past the age of like 7. Have they ever heard or hormones or perverts, like what the helllllll.

"I know I'm like super sexy and all but if you peak at me I will shove my foot so far up your ass it will come out of your mouth." Neji deadpanned at me and Sasuke looked on with a slight blush and glare.

"Hn. That's my line, freak. For all I know, you might look as manly as you act." Sasuke commented back. We had a stare down missing Neji strip and plop himself into the bath.

"Low blow asshole" I pouted, disappointed that I lost and that he would insult me on something he knew Ino and Sakura tormented me on.

"You started it freak." It was his apology, the sincere regret he had on his face was enough and we made up right away.

We turned away from each other, both of us blushing slightly at the prospect of mixed bathing. I went over to the female locker room and stripped while wrapping a towel around myself simultaneously. Once I was sure to tucked in, I let my hair out of the braid and ran through it with my fingers. I grabbed the soap, wet my hair and body, and cleaned myself off before joining Neji in the Hot Spring. Sasuke was already in and thankfully it was so steamy, you could barely see a foot in front of you. There was no way to see one another, luckily I was with Neji and I'm pretty Sasuke isn't a perv.

"Neji-niisan?"

"Yes Hime?"

"How is Lee's recovery going? I haven't been to see him as much as I want and I feel like a dick."

"With the amount Gai and him are training, he should be back to his baseline in a matter of months."

"That's good to hear." I heard Sasuke scoff a bit. "Still butt hurt he kicked your ass in 30 seconds?" I chided, my voice teasing. I knew he would get riled up. The water sloshed and I'm guessing he stood up but decided to sit back down, realizing us trying to get at each other right now would be super awkward, funny, but awkward. "Oh don't sit down on the account that we're naked. I'd kick your ass clothed or otherwise. I thought the great Duckbutt Uchiha was unstoppable, who knew nudity was his weakness." My face morphed into a grin and I knew Sasuke could picture it even in the heavy steam.

"Hn. I just have respect for others, something you wouldn't understand." He stated, his voice a bit higher than usual. I knew I had one and Sasuke did too.

"Uchiha stop flirting with my sister and clean yourselves so we can sleep, tomorrow is a big day and we have to keep Hinata-hime safe." Neji stated blandly, a hit of overprotectiveness seeping through. Shisui bets on my love life and Neji protects me from it, what a wonderful combination of brothers I have. I couldn't ask for anything better.

"I-I'm not flirting with that freak!" Sasuke shouted while I laughed my ass off. I got out first and wrapped myself back up into the towel. I went into the female changing room and moisturized and put on my pajamas, keeping my hair wrapped in a towel to dry. I waited at the entrance and after a bit, Neji and Sasuke showed up too. Neji's hair was silky looking and dry meaning he took the time to brush and blow-dry it. Sasuke's normal duckbutt was flat and wet, dripping water down his face and neck. On our walk back, Sasuke took the towel off my hair and whipped me in the ass with it, starting our fight. We were ready to pound one another when Neji stepped in, having bruises would be bad for both of us to have in our outfits for the ball tomorrow. Zabuza was waiting for us when we returned and after some goodnight's, we parted ways into our rooms.

———————————————————————————————————————

I woke up at noon and was shocked at the time. I fully expected Sasuke to push me out of bed or for Neji to wake me up to eat a healthy breakfast and what not. I felt like I was missing something when I realized I don't have to train today. It's kind of weird to not have to train at anything at all, even injured I have something to do but now, nothing. I got up and brushed my hair, leaving it down and throwing on one of the outfits packed for me. I don't have to get ready for another 2 hours so I set off to explore for a bit so I could find food. I found a small dango shop and got some ti-colored ones to enjoy with orange juice. I chatted with the shop owner, a short old lady with a potty mouth. She was one of the funniest old people I've ever spoken with and I 10/10 would adopt her as my grandmother.

When I returned to the hotel, I went straight to Zabuza's room so we could discuss the mission. Hopefully nothing will go wrong but to make sure, we all had our roles planned out. I don't like having to be the damsel in distress, but for the sake of my clan, I have to stop being a ninja for a night. And being at such an important event, as an invited guest there is rules where I am not aloud to physically harm other guests or ruin anything or else the blame is put on my clan. There are heavy punishments for infractions so even if someone tries to hurt me, I am not aloud to fight back unless it is dire. 

Because of that, I have guards to do the protecting for me, one posed as my date and the other two as obvious guards. Sasuke had to do his best to hide his status and just act like my date, nothing more and nothing less. Just like me, he has to dress himself up and I cannot wait to see him and the clothing the elders picked out for him. Luckily Sasuke trained with his mom on being a gentleman so it shouldn't be too hard; toning down his attitude will be the biggest thing.

Surprisingly, Zabuza had done his fare share of infiltrating events like this as an assassin so he has set up all the precautions. I know he is going to get extreme amusement from Sasuke and I being dressed to the 10's and acting surrounded by prissy assholes without being able to do a thing about it.

I got myself ready by doing my hair, I braided it last night so letting the braids out, my hair fell into beautiful loose waves down my back. I put a small braid to tie a piece of my hair back and pinned it. My makeup was a bit of eyeshadow that had a light shine to it, winged eyeliner, long lashes, blush, and a pinkish-red lipgloss. It was perfect. My jewelry was silver earrings and a matching necklace. I had a few bracelets on as well. I finally pulled out the dress and I was in awe, it was beautiful. It looked like the perfect mix of a modern dress with a hint of kimono vibes. Even if it was a dress, I felt giddy to be able to wear something so exotic. It was a lavender-white silk, long sleeved, off the shoulder with a slit on the leg, curtsey of Lady Seiko so I don't face plant, dark purple flower designs covered over the dress and at my waist, there was a lavender silk sash. 

The sleeves flared out at the bottom and the dress, other than the tightness at my waist was loose flowing and looked so elegant. I traded out my ninja sandals for normal white sandals that showed off my black painted nails. When I looked in the mirror, I was gobsmacked. Last time I truly dressed up I was young, this time I could see how much Ive grown in my 13 years of life. I looked like me but like the most high class version of myself. I looked like a true badass princess of a strong clan and I was fucking hot. I love the way I look normally, I prefer it to this glitzy girl, but something about this dress, the way it seemed to be made for me, was amazing and I was ready to show it off. I just wish it was with my friends instead of a bunch of rich strangers the elders know.

A/N: Sorry for not updating in so long! My life is going to hell and a hand basket right now. I am basically dying and have been doing nonstop hospital stuff and trying not to die from lack of sleep. It's shutting down my body and mind so I had to get more help to figure out why I can't sleep. I don't want to throw my problems on you guys or anything but just letting you know why it's been so long and why this chapter might be a bit of everywhere from that. I love all of you thanks for reading