CHAPTER FOUR PART ONE: ANYTHING

I think that what the Buddha may have been trying to tell us is that we have it all, each of us, all the time; therefore, desire is simply unnecessary
-Tom Robbins

When I got home I realized how much I was tried and overwhelmed by being away from it for just a day. Adonis's house doesn't have nearly the same structure as mine, it doesn't have the same warm feeling.

The moment I step through the entryway, Jasper stumbling clumsily behind me, I kick off my dress shoes, throw my jacket onto the back of our coach, untuck my shirt from my pants and roll my sleeves up before stopping into the kitchen for a drink of water.

I feel normal now like this, and the desensitization of the difference of being home, smelling like Jasper and citrus, and fresh air, it helps.

Putting my arms tense against the top of the counter, feeling all my muscles coil tight before I let myself relax makes me give out a satisfactory sigh. "I'm good now." I mumble.

"You were quite... tense before, Star." Jasper notes, coming up behind me to snuggle against my back, fingers wrapping into the hem of my pants to pull me backwards. "I almost forgot you weren't a fan of crowds."

"Probably because your family routinely takes up enough space to fill an entire football stadium." I mumble. "It's not m'fault that-"

Realizing how flustered I've become with him pressing against me, I cut myself off with a growl as he moves his head from resting on mine to press a kiss against the back of my neck. 

"That what?" Asking this all too smugly, my boyfriend tightens his hold on my hem and pushes my hips against his. "If you needed too, we could have gone somewhere quieter sooner."

"And do this? Which clearly you've been thinking about," Saying this, I turn and reach up to grab his jaw, smirking. "I can tell, you have that look."

His own half-smirk dies out in exchange for wide-eyed anticipation. "Oh."

A look I've had to tell him he gets, every time he wants to kiss me- -or more- -that he previously didn't know he had. It's close to 'bedroom-eyes' and had to make sure he didn't make them around others anymore.

He's lovably oblivious, and probably will be until the day he dies.

So I say "Yeah, oh." in a sarcastic way and move my thumb up to press down on his bottom lip, leaning up into him. "May I?"

"Yes." Jasper breathes out, leaning down to meet me halfway in a rather rushed kiss. Pulling me closer, the way his lips slide against mine have me quickly losing all previous sanity.

I'm tempted to tell him to take it slow, but that's before his palms are pressing into my hips and he lets out a small gasp of air, and doesn't mind when I pull away to let him breathe before biting the edge of his jaw in a tic.

"Hmm, you should bite me on purpose next time." The musician suggestions breathily.

Yeah, I'm definitely not slowing down.

"Once you get your audio production degree, and all, is the Astoria Empire business thing going to be your full time job? Or are you going to do like, half time at each with your music therapy?" I run my fingers absentmindedly though my boyfriend's black curls, pressing closer to his warm chest. 

My voice is tired and worn, from growls, and gasps, and saying his name enough to make it sounds like some foreign word. But he doesn't mind, his is the same way.

I'm definitely not as tired as my body is, but that's a given that comes with sex -at least I'm in our bed now, having cleaned up and then promptly collapsed here.

"I know it's your major and we've- -cheers- -talked about it before, but you never said how much time you plan to do for each. You love music, but you're the only one out of you and your sisters taking over the business, right?"

I try to stay relaxed but I'm well aware I'm still very much thinking about him boning me on our kitchen counter more than I should be. It probably has something to do with me still being able to feel the burning heat of every scratch and hickey and bite that he placed on my body, this time with a particular interest to my thighs.

And I'd be worried that his ability to read me and my colors would give it away, but he's also oblivious and has something else to think about at the moment, so I'm not all too worried.

"Right, Nyx and Eris just... they really don't like all that business stuff and are passionate about what career they're already in and Dela wants to travel the world. I wouldn't put the burden of it on one of them, and I have a lot of cousins but only a handful of them are in the business and I trust none of them to take over."

I'm not sure if he's talking about the cousins from any of his mother's siblings who would be actual Astoria's, the wild D'Silvetta's or the not-giving-a-fuck-about-life Riddle's, but either way I definitely agree.

"They would ruin all the hard work I put in to make sure the employees were well taken care of and safe just for the sake of making more money when, obviously, we don't need to." 

Ah, so it is the Astoria cousins.

I place a kiss on his bare shoulder, where for one of the first times I left more than just a small mark that will disappear by the end of tomorrow.

"So... it'd be my full-time job," Jasper explains. "But I also plan to make another branch dedicated to mental health to better reach less-accessible areas and people who generally wouldn't be able to afford it that would involve music therapy and I'm sure that I'll take on some clients. Most of what I do, I do from home and could afford the time anyways."

It would be really weird to me if I suddenly had this mindset, because literally all of what I enjoy doing as a possible career couldn't be done from home.

Ah fuck, I'm only thinking about football, not being a full-time chef. What is wrong with me? He must have literally fucked me stupid.

"I just realized people are going to think I'm a gold digger for the rest of my life." Saying this blatantly, I kiss Jasper's cheek when his lips turn back into a small pout. "It's worth it, but I'm just telling you in advance the more business you do, the more you're going to get the whole- -mother ducklings- -you're too good for me thing."

"I honestly don't care what people think. If they want to judge our relationship, that's fine, they don't know us, they don't know you enough for that opinion to matter."

And I'm definitely not going to be the person that gives a fuck about some random person's personal vendetta against the gay and the disabled.

"I've had my fair share of asshole businessmen -or women who just had a problem with the fact that I was openly trying to help people and openly bi." Jasper continues with a huff. "I can handle them and anything else that comes my way. Plus, I know you're not a gold digger, so does my family so does it really matter what they will think of us? The worst thing that will happen if someone honestly offends me, or you, will not be that I get offended. It will be what happens to them because of that."

"What happens to them?" I ask, pulling away so he can see my eyes narrow at them.

Is this cute motherfucker planning to fire someone if they just don't think I'm good enough for him? The fuck?

"If they work for me? Fire them. I'm literally the boss, I'm the superior in this situation and they have no rights to know about what happens in my personal life and they shouldn't step out of bounds like that." Jasper says, voice dropping into what is so close to a growl that I'm almost surprised it came out of his mouth.

Well someone's picking up on my most cynical habits now, aren't they.

"What about-" I growl. "-people who own other companies that work with you?" 

He can't fire them, and I don't want him firing people for this reason but that's not something I have a say in anyway.

"Well, if they're a business partner, it depends on the level of offense and how important they are to the company. I'd either ice them out, buy them out, or wreck havoc to their own company or personal lives." This is what I get for forgetting how protective Jasper can be. "I don't think you'd be surprised at all at the amount of dirt rich people have if you do a little digging."

I wouldn't be surprised about anything really, disappointed in the human race? Fuck yeah. But surprised? Nah.

"Either way, it's unprofessional and inappropriate to approach me on a subject like that and I'm not going to let them try and push their objective, unimportant opinions on me if I can help it." My boyfriend says this with such conviction that I'm reminded yet again that I love him.

Even if his protectiveness would put a few people out of work.

"Hmm, you should- -bit hot innit- -see their reactions to the unprofessionalism if you ever have to show up like this." I run my knuckles along his neck down to a sensitive spot over his collarbones, where my lovely deep marks litter his skin.

It's not often that I'll willingly leave marks on him, nothing like what he does to me, just spare hickies and normally scratches on his back. It's not that I don't want to see them, I just think that they'd be a bit overwhelming for him to feel and remember when he still gets really flustered over these things.

Times like this when I do mark him, it's normally because I feel that annoying possessiveness itch along my skin and choose to take it out on him.

Cheeks immediately blazing a pretty red, Jasper sputters helplessly as his hand comes up to my bare hip in a very adorable gay panic. "How bad is it?"

"Not too bad." I answer, looping my leg over his hips to turn him to his back, leaning down to bite at one of the lightly marks below his jaw. "I could make it worse."

It's both a suggestion and a promise, one that's both for him to refute and to keep later.