Maxine Pov

It's Friday at dapat ay wala akong trabaho, but there's an emergency: nagkaroon nang car accident at ang daming sugatan sa nangyari.

I check the vitals of the patient in front of me; halos hindi ko na maramdaman ang pulso niya. I placed my hand on his chest and started to give him a chest compression.

Sobrang ingay sa loob nang emergency, but I didn't care. Tinignan ko ang monitor, but still no response from the patient.

"Ready the Defibrillator!" sigaw ko.

"Nurse Maya, change position!" Mabilis namang pumalit sa akin si nurse Maya, and she does the compression.

Inabot ko ang paddles and ready myself. Umalis si Nurse sa itaas nang pasyente at lumayo sila.

"1, 2, 3 CLEAR!!" sigaw ko nang malakas at nilagay ang paddles sa dibdib ng pasyente.

I tried many times; halos nagpipigil na ako nang hininga, I checked the monitor, and napailing nalang sa akin si Nurse Tina.

No..

"Get ready!" Utos ko sa kaniya. I grab the paddles again and try to revive the patient. Hindi siya pwedeng mamatay is not in my hands.

"Dra!" Hindi ko pinansin ang pagtawag nila sa akin. I tried several times until I couldn't move my hands.

Kinuha ni Dra. Dina sa kamay ko ang paddles and off the defibrillator.

Napaupo nalamang ako sa sahig at hindi magawang iangat ang ulo ko. All of them are not making any noise.

"Dra. Nikee, you need to declare the patient." Kahit nanghihina, I get up and look at the time.

"T-ime of death...9:15 am" narinig ko ang iyakan nang kamag anak nang pasyente.

"I'm sorry." Yun lang ang nasabi ko sa umiiyak na pamilya nang namatayan at umalis doon.

Dra. Dina calls my name, but I need to calm down. Napatingin ako sa kamay ko, it's shaking. Napansin ko ang mantsa nang dugo doon.

When I'm feeling okay, Dra. Dina called me, and she said that they managed to give treatment to the other victims. Naisipan ko nalamang bumalik sa office ko and take a shower.

Habang basang basa na ako ng tubig galing sa shower, sinandal ko ang katawan ko sa pader. I look at my hands again.

"Why? All I need to do is save the patient, but why can't I?"

I know that when it comes to my work, I need to prepare myself to experience some loss, but it's still heavy. Sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam na wala kaman lang magawa para iligtas ang isang tao.

It's the first time that I've lost a patient here in this country. I already experienced it a lot of times way back. I thought I'd be alright with it, but I'm not.

When I finish taking a shower, ay nagpalit na ako kaagad nang damit. Nang makalabas ako sa banyo ay siya namang merong kumatok sa opisina ko.

I saw Nathan outside of my office, and he just raised his hand, holding a can of Coke. Kahit nagtataka man kung bakit siya nandito ay pinagbuksan ko siya nang pinto.

Akmang lalabas na ako nang bigla nalamang siyang pumasok. I want to tell him to go out, but I don't know myself.

"Here" inabot ko ang bigay niyang can at umupo sa harapan niya.

Ngayon ko lang napansin na may bitbit siyang isang paper bag.

"I don't know if you are eating this, but I think you will like it," he says, placing a box of pizza and chicken wings.

"Hindi ko alam kung anong flavor nang wings ang gusto mo, but I pick the better one, I think."

"You don't have to..I eat everything after all," yun lang ang sinabi ko at kumuha nang isang chicken wings. Tahimik lamang akong kumakain nang bigla nalamang siyang magsalita.

"I heard about it earlier."

"You did a great job, doctor," napatigil ako sa narinig.

I look at him, and he smiles at me. Hindi ko mapaipaliwanag, but he makes me calm and feel at ease all of a sudden.

"Thank you," pagpapasalamat ko.

"Kumain kana Doc. Alam ko namang busy ka na naman mamaya kaya damihan mo na" napatawa nalang ako sa sinabi niya.

I enjoy his company, sobrang daldal niya habang kumakain kami.

"Ganito ka din ba kadaldal sa iba? Parang hindi kana nauubusan nang kwneto."

"Actually no..sobrang tahimik ko sa iba even to my friends," nagtaka ako sa sinabi niya.

"So bakit ang daldal mo kapag magkausap tayo?" Pagtatanong ko.

"Hindi ko din alam, wag kang magalala ikaw una kong sasabihan kapag alam ko na ang reason."

"Sira.."

"Totoo nga yun, Doc."

"Kumain kanalang" pagpapatigil ko sa kadaldalan niya. When we finished eating, siya na mismo ang nagligpit nang kalat.

"Dra. Alison?" Pagtawag niya sa pangalan ko nang nasa pinto na siya at aalis na dapat.

"Hmm?" I waited for him to speak until I didn't expect what he asked for me.

"Are you free tomorrow night?" Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ko sa pagtataka. Why is he asking about my schedule?

"For what?" Alam kong off duty ko bukas dahil on duty ako ngayon, but why is he asking me?

"It's just that I want to take you somewhere," mukhang nahiya pa siya.

Tomorrow is Saturday at walang magbabantay kay Seb dahil wala silang pasok. I should turn down his offer, but why am I hesitant to do it?

"I don't have work tomorrow, but I'm still not free to go out with you." Bigla naman siyang nalungkot sa sinabi ko.

"But next time, maybe not now. I have something to do tomorrow. Thanks for the offer, by the way."

"N-o need.. I'm just hoping you would say yes..but next time let's go somewhere else." nagpaalam lang siya sa akin at umalis na.

Napaupo nalamang ako ulit at napatitig sa kawalan.

"It's really okay to turn him down?" Naalala ko ang lungkot sa mata niya nang sabihin kong may gagawin ako bukas.

But Seb is more important; minsan na nga lang kaming magkasamang mag ina dahil sa work ko.

I want to spend my free time with him. Nang matapos ko na ang gawain ko sa hospital ay umuwi na ako. Nakasabay ko pa si Dra. Cali mukhang nagmamadali siya, kaya hindi na din ako napansin pa.

Nang makauwi na ako, all the lights are off. Sinilip ko Seb sa kwarto niya at natutulog na siya nang mahimbing. Inayos ko lang ang kumot niya at hindi na siya ginambala pa.

Nang makapasok ako sa kwarto ko, bigla nalamang akong naka received the message.

It's an unregistered number.

Unknown number:

"Did you get home safe?"

Sino naman to? Kahit ayaw kong mag reply ay ginawa ko pa din.

"Who's this?"

Unknown number:

"It's Nathan; did I creep you out?"

"Kinda, but why are you asking?"

"Baka mag bago ang isip mo bukas."

Natawa ako sa message niya.

"Sorry for letting your hopes up, but I'm still not available tomorrow."

"I'm sad☹️"

What's with his emoji? Napakagat ako sa ibabang labi ko para pigilan ang tawa ko. I didn't expect him to be this kind of person.

"Don't be. Maybe next time I will say yes."

"Promise?😊"

"Promise. Are you not going to sleep?"

"Hindi pa ako inaantok..you?"

"I just got home. May gagawin pa ako."

"Another case of a patient?"

"Yes, it's a serious case, kaya kailangan kong pagaralan."

"Is being a doctor really that hard?"

"Yes, actually, it's really hard because we're the ones saving lives."

"My dad keeps on asking me to shift courses."

"You're not considering it?"

"No, I don't like medical fields; I prefer building and constructing a different structure."

"So... you're taking up engineering?"

"Civil engineering, to be exact..me and my friends take it together."

"Wow, I didn't expect it. One of my friends also took up a civil engineering course for her second course."

"Has your friend already graduated?"

"Yes, we were both surgeons, but I don't know why she studied again."

"Maybe your friend is board."

"I thought so..btw, I really want to study; it's nice chatting with you."

"At your service, doc😊"

"Sleep now, Engr." 

"Study well, Dra. Alison😊"

Hindi ko napansin na napahaba pala ang usapan namin, and I saw my reflection on my mirror that I'm smiling. What kind of feeling, parang nababaliw na ako?