*Josh*

If you tried to explain the type of pain, they would only ignore you.

Have you ever been in love and the other person doesn't care or moves on?
It fucking kills to the point you can't sleep until your tears reach God or your other option is to drink until your throat in on fire.
During the day, you either find plenty of bullshit to keep you distracted and okay or have several mental breakdowns during the day.

Fun isn't it.

My phone rings and i'm not surprised Sylvesters' name crosses it.
"Yeah" I answer,

"We need to seal a deal tomorrow morning"

"Can you change the date?" I rolled my eyes.

"Tomorrow morning" he groaned.

"I'm busy"

"So am I" he hissed, almost like he was mad at me for rejecting.

"Sylvester, the day after" I listed.

"Tomorrow morning"

"I-"
The phone beeped.

I ignored him and watched the hotel Ella stayed at that night, unsure which apartment, I gasped with the empty alcohol bottle in my hand.
For some reason my throat wasn't the only thing on fire, my heart and mind were in it together.

I could almost feel my eyes swell with the amount of pain hidden.

A part of me wanted to go to her and a part of me was in too much pain to move.

I covered my eyes, seeing the darkness within the palm of my hands and felt instant tears be caught within.

Jesus, I guess feeling your heart outside of your chest unprotected fucking makes you a walking dead.

For several minutes I sat there trying to understand my pain, in other words, think of ways to help myself heal.

Until sirens were heard and numerous people rushed out of their homes and apartments, as many of them appeared on their balconies.

I frowned and opened my car door, stepping out to see what was going on.

Police cars, an ambulance and firefighters.
All three?
That's rather unusual.

I walked on over towards the hotel, noticing the receptionist outside with several people.

"Hey" I frowned, grabbing him by the shoulder blade, "What's going on?"

"Someone is on the rooftop, planning to jump maybe"

My frown got deeper, "Should be me" I whispered.

"I'm sorry Sir?"

"Is there an evacuation?" I asked, watching people continue to leave the hotel.

"Yes" the receptionist nodded "We need to mark down who it might be"

I nodded, standing beside him for minutes on end, watching him mark off names as I waited for Ella to appear amongst the rest.

Yet, she was the only one on the list unmarked.

The officer grabbed his mic and spoke, "Ella" he said, echoing the name through the street "Please come down or my men will make their way up"

For a second, my heart stopped, almost like I had died for a second before snapping back into reality.

I pushed past the receptionist and people, racing past the entrance door and through the hallway.

"SIR!" several people yelled.

I pushed the elevator buttons numerous times before I noticed officers followed close behind.
I shoved open the emergency door and ran my way up hundreds of stairs. It seemed like it was never ending, almost like I was in an unconnected maze.

Then at last I reached the last floor, opening it so wide that it banged against the brick wall.

The cold breeze was quick to hit me as ahead of me stood Ella. Her hair floating against the wind, in a thin long sleeved shirt and pants.

"Ella" I whispered, taking a few steps.

"Don't" Ella said, not turning to face me.

"Ella what are you doing?"

She ignored me.

"Ella"

"Look," she pointed up at the stars "If you pay attention, every minute a star would appear somewhere"

"Ella"

She turned around to face me, tears streaming down her face as she put on a weak smile.
"If you pay attention, every minute a scar would appear within me"

"Ella, come away from the edge" I said, too afraid to take a step towards her.

"Why are you here?" she said, just a few steps away from me.

"Ella, my men are coming" the officer was heard through the speaker.

I turned around to hear footsteps against stairs, I slammed the door shut and removed my belt, tying it through the door handle and around the pipe by the door, giving them no entrance.

"Ella" I took a step towards Ella.

Ella took a step back, this time right on the edge.

"Ella stop" I raised my hand. "What are you doing?"

"I'm tired Josh"

"I know" I nodded continuously "I know"

"You don't"

"I do" I left my hand up, nodding "I do"

"You don't!" she sighed within a sob.

"I do" I repeated "I know what it feels like to lay awake aching, I know what it feels like to sleep only to find yourself within a nightmare. I know what it feels like to distract yourself every day from pain to pretend you're happy, I know what it feels like to look into the mirror and wish someone can do what you never could"

Ella bit her bottom lip before covering her mouth and sobbing, shaking her head.
"Why did you do this to me?" she asked as she cried.

"I'm sorry" I took an inch of a step closer, leaving my hand up in front of me "I'm sorry, Ella. I told you I am"

"Sorry doesn't make my scars disappear, Josh"

"I'll give you whatever you want Ella, I'll let you hurt me the way I hurt you, I'll let you have anything and everything on your mind. Is it revenge?" I gulped.

"Death" she whispered, turning around slowly as she stood on the edge.

"ELLA!" I yelled. "Please, please" I gasped, panting as a tear left my eyes. "Ella, please look at me"

Ella turned back around to face me, instantly causing me to fall onto my knees. I looked up and bit my bottom lip. "Please, don't" I sobbed "Stop" I shook my head "Stop, Ella"

She shook her head.

"Don't do it Ella. Please"

"I'm scared" she whispered, with tears streaming down her face.

"It's okay" I stood up once more, "It's okay. I promise it's okay"

"It isn't Josh"

"I'll make it okay" I gulped my tears "I'll keep you safe, come off the edge Ella. Please"

"It's too late" she shook her head.

I watched her turn around quickly, taking her foot off the edge and into the air.

I rushed, almost running blind, I grabbed her arm.

Her body was away from me, hanging off the building as my hand wrapped her wrist tightly.

Ella looked up with tears and sobbed.

"No, No" I gripped her hand tight with both of mine. I tried pulling her up yet I was weak, unfocused and shivering. "Help me here Ella" I groaned, pulling, even though I was blindly lost.

I couldn't wish or ask for help since the door was shut tight, so I had to get myself together.

"Josh" she whispered, wrapping her other hand around my hands, trying to free herself. "Let go, please"

"No, no" I shook my head, my tears falling against her skin. "Ella, help me here" I pulled roughly, but I felt her hand wet, sweating from my tight grip. "Please" I sobbed "Please Ella, please"

She shook her head and continued to sob, begging me within her eyes to let her go.

"Ella" I cried aloud, almost losing my vision to tears "Don't do this, don't please, don't" I shivered in pain. "I can pull you up" I know I can, I'm just too unfocused, scared and shivering.

"Josh..." she whispered.

"Me Ella, me" I gulped, panting. "Let it be me and not you. I'll take my life, if that's what makes you happy. I'll die Ella, I'll leave. Please"

Ella's hand was slipping from within mine.

"No, no" I shook my head, trying to grip her harder. "God, please no, no" I shook my head, trying to gain focus as I pulled her up lightly before she slipped an inch away. "NO" I yelled, attempting again.

I watched my entire life flash in front of my eyes.
I gulped and took a deep breath.

"Don't let go Ella" I whispered "I love you"

Ella smiled weakly as my grip weakened.

________________________

have you been heart broken before? If so, how did it feel?

Personal- I have & I write what I feel in both Ella & Josh's point of view. :))

WHO SHALL DIE!!!!

Miaaa xxx