Music blared loudly all around, the neon light casting a soft glow on the dancing couples. Ever so often, the door to the tiny club would be pushed open, letting the cold night air in, sending chills down his spine all while he sipped on his icy drinks. It was a dingy, cheap place, filled with people who either came to get drunk or laid, or if they had lady luck with them, maybe both. The redeeming qualities of the club came with its location, almost hidden around the corner of a deserted alleyway and the constant dim lights within, providing enough anonymity and privacy to anyone, who so wished. Only the people who knew about the place ever came, all of them being regulars, chasing after the feeling of being distanced from the world in this little, smoke filled haven.

Jungkook was no exception.

With a struggling career in music and a relationship that seemed more like a burden after the initial petals of romance had wilted, he too came there for a distraction, sitting in his usual spot, almost unnoticeable in the dark, drinking till he got nauseous. His bored eyes had racked over the crowd, taking in the scantily clad women grinding on men and the occasional drunk making a move on a girl here and there.

But tonight he saw more.

His concentration grew focused on the spot directly across him on the other side of the room. His gaze travelled up from long, high-heeled legs to something he could barely make out as a black dress until finally landing on her face. She sat on a corner couch, one leg majestically sprawled on the other, a glass clasped firmly in her hands. In the neon lights of the club, she gained an element of fantasy, an exotic creature posing for his eyes. He quietly got up, too riled up by her aura, not caring if he bumped into people on the way. He just needed to get closer and see her properly. His breath hitched in his throat as he got closer, watching her bring the drink to her lush lips, tilting her head up and letting him get a view of her neck. He hadn't even realized that he was still moving towards her until he stood exactly in front of her seated form.

Her eyes had looked up and locked gazes with his.

Something had happened at that point. He wasn't sure what or how, but he felt like they had come to an understanding of sorts. He was too drunk and curious at his point to ponder over such things, instead choosing to silently offer his hand up for a dance.

She had looked at his a hand for a minute and then just as silently slipped hers in it. He led her into a less crowded side of the dance floor and she instantly got into action. Even if her moves were fuelled by alcohol, she didn't try to grind up on him and rile him up, like the other women there. She simply swayed to the beat, possibly enjoying the music, a slight smile on her lips and Jungkook couldn't stand back anymore. He put his arm firmly around her waist, drawing her into him and swaying them both together to the beat. She had let out a soft, mellow laugh and let him drag her with him. She still didn't stop him when his lips came down to kiss her shoulder, working their way up to her mouth and he thanked the heavens for it because he had no idea what he would do if she rejected this.

But she didn't.

They headed for his place.

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Tangled bedsheets and a cold, empty bed - that's what he woke up to. The sunlight poured in through the curtains, providing little relief from the chilling air. He was naked and hardly covered by the blankets that had managed to tangle and wrap around one of his legs. His heart had skipped a beat and then sank as he realized she was gone. He had tried calling out to her, only to realize he didn't know her name. He didn't even really remember what she looked like, with only some glimpses of her remaining in his mind. Like how she had looked like a queen, sitting in the club and how her hair sprawled out around her as she lay beneath him, naked and in his bed.

A one night stand.

The thought came into his mind suddenly, causing both relief and disappointment. He was in a relationship and even though his girlfriend wasn't the best of partners, she still didn't deserve this. But another part of him longed to see her again. He imagined how it would have been if he had woken up next to her, what he would have said to her. But those thoughts were now worthless and with a hiss of sudden annoyance, he could out of bed to prepare for his day.

He wasn't in love with her so nothing made a difference.

Or so he had thought, until he found himself thinking of her every night, filling the missing pieces of his memories with his own imagination. At first, there were tame fantasies, meeting her and asking for her name but then something in him grew to demand more and he found himself reaching under the blankets to relieve himself, over the corrupted thoughts of her.

It was one such night, when the fantasies actually came to life. He heard a knock on the door in the middle of the night, growing furious every second he took to answer it. He expected it to be his girlfriend, who had become an ex by this point. When he finally did answer the door, managing to barely put on his underwear, he locked eyes with the person he never expected to see.

Her.

She looked tired, hair open and carelessly cascading down her back, her clothes barely hanging onto her body. Before he could even utter a word, she stood on her tiptoes, crashing her lips into his, pushing them both back. He fell on his back with her above him and yet she refused to let go. His hands came up to grab her by the hair and he flipped her down, mounting her body and beginning his own furious assault on her lips. He growled in response when she let out a soft moan, removing the barriers of clothing from between them and taking her right there and then, uncaring of the door that still hung open.

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This time, he hadn't let her leave without a word, imprisoning her in his arms, in his bed where they had moved after the initial urgency had quietened down. Through tight lips she had spilled her name and where she lived, but she refused to tell him anything else. He couldn't have cared either way, too busy relishing in the feel of her in his arms and the serene beauty of her face. She wasn't how he remembered her to be. She was so much more, so much better than he could ever imagine.

But she wasn't his.

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Their meetings had become a routine after that. She'd come and they'd "fuck" as she called it and then she'd leave. He had managed to get more out of her at this point, learning that she was an artist and she lived alone in this town. He had figured something to be wrong, considering the pained expression on her face when she talked about herself or how she never stayed back or tried to know him.

He was only a distraction to her and the thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. They didn't have a relationship even though the sex was the best he ever had and he couldn't understand why. Over the course of a few months, he had dumped his girlfriend and actually managed to produce a few quality songs. He might even begin to gain recognition at this point yet none of it soothed him.

His thoughts were a mess over the mystery that was her.

The wheels of time kept turning, seasons changing and landscapes variating around him and yet they were still a mass of tangled limbs lost in cotton sheets, a warm, naked body on top of the other, breathes mingling and soft sounds emanating in the quiet of the night.

She came to him happy, she came to him stressed but what never changed was that she never stayed nor let him stay. He had been to hers when she was too tired to travel to his place but still "needed" him and he never turned her down. He had been surprised when he had been to her apartment for the first time, seeing the art on the walls, all signed in her name, the minimalistic interior and the nice aroma of coffee in the air. She had smiled while handing him his mug and he had cherished it for she rarely smiled at him, choosing to remain impersonal and cold. The nagging feeling of being distanced away was shut down for a little while whenever she smiled at him like that.

So he worked harder to make her smile.

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The first and only time she agreed to go out on a dinner with him, he had been more excited than he cared to admit. He had called up the restaurant and arranged everything he had planned and went to pick her up at exactly 8. He had spent a bit more time in choosing his attire, telling himself again and again that he wasn't trying to impress her but only failing.

When she finally stepped out, he was in awe of her. She was majestic and elegant in whatever she wore, but the floor-length gown made her look like the queen he had first thought her to be. He had driven her to the place silently, letting the music say what he couldn't, watching from the corner of his eyes as she swayed her head slightly to the beat, applauding himself for picking up on her music taste without her telling him.

When they arrived, he took in her surprised expression as the waiter showed them their table, decorated with roses and a bottle of wine waiting for them. He had sat her down like a gentleman and then proceeded to yell to grab the attention of everyone present.

"This is in the honour of the beautiful lady sitting here, who inspired me to spin this melody into what it is."

Jungkook nodded at a man sitting at a piano and the man instantly sprung to action, while another brought him the mic. The whole place had grown silent and she had been watching him the whole time, her eyes wide and the glass in her hand shaking.

And then he had sung.

He had sang in a voice so beautiful, it reminded them of angels, filled with promises of love and sincere devotion, all the while looking into her eyes. The ladies had turned their heads in jealousy and the men cheered him on in wooing the beautiful woman who he obviously loved. The atmosphere felt light and giddy and everyone enjoyed their time. When the song was over, a loud applause broke through the restaurant, every eye watching as he made his way towards her, looking into her tear-filled eyes. He waited for a response with bated breathe.

She had smiled. And then she kissed him.

That was the happiest he ever saw her. And also, the last time.

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She had disappeared after that.

Not coming up to his place anymore for her weekly "distractions", not answering when he called or visited her apartment. Simply no contact at all. His heart had threatened to stop at the thought of never seeing her again.

The thought that she had just abandoned him, that she had given up on whatever sort of relationship they did have, infuriated him to no end. He had wanted to get her back but the thought that he never meant anything more than a fuck buddy to her stopped him. It made him furious, made him want to break things.

It made him want to cry.

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Weeks had passed by and he hadn't seen her. Slowly he had gone back to the routine of his life before she had come in it. Long nights had been spent trying to figure out what had gone wrong, if he had made a mistake, if she was simply bored of him. She had been cold and distant always but he knew it stemmed from trauma instead of her own personality, seeing her mumble or cry in her sleep or when he caught sneak peeks of her phone or mail.

In the end, he had just reached the point where he decided she had simply abandoned him. He'd never forgive her, he had thought, he would never give in to her arms again.

He didn't know he'd be proved wrong so soon.

Just like the first time she had come, she knocked furiously in the middle of the night, while it rained heavily outside. His heart had instantly leapt and without even bothering to put anything on he had rushed to answer the door.

And there she was.

Almost untouched by the rain, wearing a loose-fitting white dress, her hair freely flowing and her cheeks flushed as if she had ran. She had reached over and threw her arms around him, his own coming immediately to hold her, all his anger forgotten once he had her back in his arms.

He hadn't expected her to start crying when she did, so he stared at her pearly tears dripping down her face for a while before leaning in to kiss her. She was the first to break the kiss and when he saw her open her mouth to speak, he clearly hadn't expected her to say –

"I really needed to see you; I have something I need to tell you before it's too late."

The desperation in her tone had tugged at him and he rubbed her back to calm her.

"It's not going to be late, you can always tell me."

She choked back a sob and tightened her grip around him. Jungkook's hand that had been rubbing her back went under her dress and soothed circles into her bare skin. She responded by leaning into him as he carried them both to bed.

It was really late that night when they were done.

"So do you want to tell me now." He had asked, turning towards her in bed.

She had let out a small smile and buried her face into his chest before whispering –

"I love you."

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Tangled bedsheets and a cold, empty bed - that's what he woke up to.

Just like the first time.

His smile turned into a frown as he realized she had left again. But this time, he thought he knew she'd come back.

She had finally said the words he would have never imagined he would hear from her and the memory of them brought a surge of warmth to his heart. He figured she was nervous from what happened last night and needed her own space and he decided to give it to her.

Spending a long day at the studio, trying hard not to let his thoughts wander to her, he was happy when his recording was almost done. He had been doing great for a while, his vocals clearly getting better and gaining admiration from more people. He drove over to her place in the evening, the sun almost setting and twilight creeping in.

When he reached her door, it was dark and he was surprised to find that her doorstep light hadn't been switched on like always. Thinking for a second that she might not be home, he turned the knob of the worn out door only to find it unlocked. He stepped in, a feeling of dread washing over him as he saw the whole apartment shrouded in darkness.

She was nowhere in sight.

Fearing a robbery or worse, he desperately called down her name as he searched for the light switch. When light finally flooded the place, he found nothing amiss and yet the deathly silence sent chills down his spine.

He made his way towards her bedroom, finding the door wide open. He switched on the lights and found himself face to face with his own self.

There were numerous portraits of him, all on canvases, painted with detail and precise, making them look almost like photographs. Various expressions of his, a serious one, his giggly face and whatnot. His breathe fastened as his brain registered the fact that she loved him enough to spend all that effort on him.

It was then that he was hit with the smell.

A strong stench of iron and still water, and the sound of a bulb flickering, all coming from the bathroom. Thoughts fled his mind and his vision blurred out as he ran to the bathroom, praying to the gods that his worst fears weren't going to be confirmed.

But they were.

There she was. Laying limply in the bath tub, the blade of a knife twinkling threateningly in her hand, her beautiful hair tangled and soaking at the ends. The water around her and dirty, murky brown from something he didn't want to acknowledge. Her white dress had been stained in places.

Nothing registered in his mind anymore. His conscious drifted into a nothingness. He simply dropped to his knees beside her, his hands going to cup the sides of her cold face, her eyelids had turned a deep purple, her lips shrivelled white. And yet in the flickering light of the bulb, she still looked majestic to him, she always did.

Taking her out and clutching her tightly in his arms, after a long time in his life –

He wept.

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He had no idea of how long he had been like that until reason had returned to his mind. He had called the police and they had come without an ambulance.

It would have been useless either way.

He sat outside on the couch, where he had once shared coffee with her, trying to crack old jokes in the past, in an effort to make her look up from her work and pay him attention. He suddenly wanted to throw up but he just sat there staring blankly at thin air until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I am sorry for your loss, sir." An officer spoke.

He simply nodded in response.

"It must have been tough on you to find out like this, though someone had to, she had been in there for 3 days now."

At this, his head snapped up at inhuman speed. His eyes widened, pupils dilating even further and he choked.

"But..."

"But?" The officer tilted his head question, a bit surprised at this abrupt response.

Fresh tears came to his eyes and this time he didn't hold back, breaking into loud sobs as he thought about what had happened just hours ago.

But she had been with him last night.

And she had said she loved him.