Reflections — a #thiam one shot

«where have you been?
do you know if you are coming back?»

"I can't find him anywhere.
It's like he vanished into thin air."

«I know you are sick,
hoping you fix whatever's broken»

"I still feel his pain inside me,
it's eating me up, it's killing me"

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Theo's chest rose and fell quickly and erratically as he stood still in the middle of the hospital room. His eyes were fixed on the bloodstain left by Gabe, the red imprint of his hand on the glass. He wiped his forearm across his forehead, drying the sweat, and took a deep breath.

His hands were still stained with blood, the bullet still lodged in his shoulder. Slowly, he moved to one of the nearby rooms, heading straight for the bathroom, rinsing his hands and then his face. He closed his eyes and shook his head slightly, causing droplets of water to splatter everywhere. He slowly opened his eyes, dreading the reflection of Tara in the mirror. But luckily, it was just him.

He leaned against the sink, still shaken by what had happened earlier.

He had approached Gabe with the intention of easing his pain, wanting to let him die in peace. When he had seen Gabe take his last breath, staring him straight in the eyes, something inside Theo had broken.

He hadn't been able to save him.

It was yet another time he had seen someone die in front of his eyes.

"Theo?" a voice called from the door of the room. He didn't move, only turned his head toward the half-open bathroom door, waiting for the person to approach. In a few seconds, Melissa appeared in the doorway, looking at him with concern.

Theo kept his gaze down, focused on the floor. "Are you okay? Can I take the bullet out of your shoulder?" she asked, coming closer with gloves and some kind of long pincers in hand. Theo didn't say a word, just nodded and turned his back to her. He took off his shirt from the left side only, relaxed his shoulders, and gripped the edge of the sink. As soon as Melissa inserted the pincers into his flesh, Theo clenched his lips and closed his eyes, trying not to think about the pain he was feeling. "I'm done," the woman murmured after tossing the bullet into the bin by the door.

"Thanks," he whispered, putting on his shirt again and massaging his shoulder for a few seconds. Melissa looked at him, smiled, and said, "You did the right thing," her gaze locking with his. Theo swallowed hard and squeezed his right wrist, clenching his jaw. "It hurt," he murmured, with watery eyes.

Melissa slowly approached him, noticing that his veins were still swollen. She took his hand and squeezed it. "You did what you felt you had to do, you tried to save him," the woman murmured again, but Theo didn't even look her in the face. "I still feel his pain inside me, it's eating me up, it's killing me," he continued.

"You're not used to it," she replied, stroking his cheek. "I know it's hard to hear, but it's true. The more you go on, the more you'll do that thing with the aim of saving others, sacrificing yourself and carrying that great pain with you," she continued.

"Take a few seconds, okay? You'll find me around if you need anything," she smiled at him. Theo nodded, and then Melissa left him alone. At the mercy of himself and his thoughts.

The boy looked at his hands, now clean, but it felt like the blood was still there, he could feel it in the air, mixed with the scent of gunpowder.

That smell was making him nauseous.

He slowly left the room, looking around but finding no one. He focused on the sounds around him, those coming from the other floors, and heard Liam and Nolan running upstairs, desperately trying to reach Sheriff Stilinski and Parrish to help disarm the hunters in the hospital.

"Have you seen Theo?" Liam asked, but Nolan didn't answer, so the chimera assumed he had just shaken his head or shrugged.

Theo walked toward the elevator, and as if everything around him hadn't just shattered, he pressed the ground floor button and began descending. He closed his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath, but when he opened them again, Tara was behind him.

The boy remained motionless, staring at her with a defiant look, but what betrayed his intention to intimidate her was his calm and tired face. "Theo," she said, the same chant that had been going on for months now.

"You're not real," he muttered, looking at her through the reflection of the elevator doors. He slowly turned toward her, ready to face the game his mind was playing on him. Tara's figure was right in front of him, her head tilted, and her gaze slowly drifting down to his chest.

Theo was already prepared; he knew what she would do, he was no longer scared, letting Tara take his heart back.

But this time, it was different.

Tara was close enough to reach out and touch his chest, barely brushing it. She placed her hand right over his heart and closed her eyes. Theo watched her, waiting for the exact moment when he would find himself on the floor, unconscious, with his sister holding what belonged to her.

Tara closed her eyes for a few seconds, then reopened them and fixed her gaze on her brother. She slowly shook her head. "There's no need anymore," she hissed. In the blink of an eye, Tara disappeared, and the elevator reached the ground floor.

Theo, who had been holding his breath the entire time, exhaled and slowly turned, stepping out of the elevator and out of the hospital. He walked to the parking lot where he had left his car.

He had also parked it poorly because his only goal at that moment, a few hours ago, had been to save Liam.

He took one last look at the hospital, able to perceive every sound inside. He didn't want to stay in that chaos; he needed peace. It had been a long week, too many things had happened, too many lives had been broken. He needed calm.

He got into the car and, before he could change his mind, drove away from the place. He drove for a few minutes at an unreasonably fast speed. It was as if he was trying to escape. He stopped near the sign marking the entrance to Beacon Hills Reserve. He turned off the car, got out quickly, and walked down the trail, following it to the end.

From afar, he could see the river, the pier, and suddenly the memories came flooding back. The eight-year-old Theo who had just watched his sister die from hypothermia while the dread doctors recovered her body to remove her heart and implant it in that child's body. He swallowed hard, feeling a sharp pain in his chest. He approached the bridge, stood right in the middle, looking toward the water. The bouquet of lilies in his hand, as always, and he began throwing them into the water, watching them float and drift along the river.

This time was different. He felt it would be the last time at the river, the last time he would try to apologize to his sister. He knew that illusion would bring an end to those nightmares. It was as if his sister had just told him he had changed.

"There's no need anymore," the words echoed in Theo's head as, with a lost look, he leaned against the railing and covered his face with his hands.

Liam was running up and down the floors of the hospital. He was following the scent of Theo, but it felt like he was everywhere in that place. He had entered every room, checked every bathroom, every ward, even the morgue. It seemed like Theo had disappeared into thin air.

As he returned to the spot where Gabe had died, he ran into Mason and Corey, who were on the phone with Scott and the others, asking them if they had managed to defeat the Anuk-ite. "Liam, can you calm down for a second?" Mason shouted, handing him his phone while walking toward his friend.

He had noticed Liam's strange behavior ever since the battle ended and how he had watched Theo absorb Gabe's pain. Liam had been the only one to keep his head up. Everyone else had either turned away or lowered their heads. Only Liam had sadly watched the scene, but on the other hand, he was also relieved that Theo had finally done what he had tried to do with Mason.

It wasn't true that he didn't care. It wasn't true that he had no heart. Theo wasn't capable of love, compassion, or even simple interest in others. He had never felt it because no one had ever taught him or treated him with love. But, evidently, something had clicked in him that night.

And Liam couldn't find him anymore.

"Mase, he ran away," Liam mumbled, looking around. Mason looked at him confused. "You mean Theo? Theo who practically saved your life?" he asked, and Liam simply nodded. "Why? And where did he go?" Mason continued to ask.

Liam shook his head. "I have no idea," he replied. Mason looked around as if he could find any clue or anything that could help his friend in that moment. "Don't... don't you feel anything?" he asked, stammering, and Liam kept shaking his head. "I can't find him anywhere. It's like he vanished into thin air," he said.

Melissa, who had been tending to some hunters—after disarming them—turned toward them, slowly getting up. "I think I know where he is," she said, while Liam turned sharply. "But I guess he wants to be alone right now, so when he's ready, he'll find you, Liam," she continued.

"What?" Liam muttered, confused. Melissa bent down again to tell the man on the ground to apply pressure to his wound. Then she stood up and walked toward the boys. "Listen, Liam, we all know what Theo did tonight, or at least what he wanted to do, and tonight he showed that he's not that person anymore," she said. Liam stared at her, his heart pounding.

Melissa briefly turned her gaze from the suffering man in front of her. "But he's probably shaken up. He didn't expect to be able to do it, or maybe he's scared because he's feeling something he's never felt before," she whispered. Liam nodded but didn't say anything.

"So, give him some time, and then he'll come to you, trust me, he will," she smiled at him.

Liam didn't know what to say, but something in his chest stirred at the thought that Melissa might be right. "So, I should just let him go?" he asked, his voice breaking with a mix of anger and worry.

Melissa shook her head with a sad smile. "You're stubborn, Liam, and you have no patience..." she replied, before returning to her work, while Liam remained still next to his friend.

Mason touched his arm, pulling him close as if he could understand what he was feeling. "Liam, we need to go to Scott and the others," he murmured, and Liam slowly nodded, turning toward him. "Do you think he's okay?" he asked, worried.

Mason smiled. "It's Theo, he knows what he's doing, and believe me, if he needed help, he would have called you already," he said. Corey and Nolan joined them immediately, while Liam's stepfather arrived at the hospital, ready to help his colleague.

In the car, on the way to the school, there was complete silence. Mason was driving calmly, Corey by his side, while Nolan and Liam stared out of their respective windows. The silence was heavy, broken only by the monotonous sound of the windshield wipers moving back and forth, wiping the rain off the windshield.

Despite the calm, Liam couldn't find peace. He couldn't shake the image of Theo, that light in his eyes as he absorbed the pain from Gabe's body, followed by the exhaustion that had transformed his face.

"Does it hurt anymore?" the older one had asked him, and Gabe, after taking a deep breath, had slightly shaken his head, looking at him in disbelief. "Good," Theo murmured, placing his hand on Gabe's leg, letting him go in the least painful way possible.

"You're shaking," Nolan whispered, turning toward him. Liam didn't answer, he hadn't even realized his body was reacting that way. He gritted his teeth, trying to ignore the knot forming in his stomach. It wasn't just worry; it was something else, something he didn't know how to deal with.

"Maybe Melissa's right," Corey suddenly said, breaking the silence. "Maybe he just needs a little time to sort things out in his head." Mason shot him a glance through the rearview mirror. "Theo's not running away forever. He probably just needs space."

Liam shook his head, the nervousness mixing with frustration. "What if that's not it? What if he thinks he doesn't have a place among us anymore? That he doesn't have anyone?" he whispered, his voice cracking with tears welling up in his eyes.

Corey turned slightly, looking at him with a serious expression. "Liam, you're his place. Even if he'll never admit it, you're the one who keeps him grounded here," he said directly.

The words hit Liam like a punch in the stomach, making him lower his gaze. He didn't respond, but his grip on his knees loosened slightly, as if that sentence had calmed him. He knew it, somewhere inside, he knew it. Theo would never admit it, but every time he came back, every time he fought by their side, it was always Liam at the center of it all. It was always just Liam.

The car stopped in front of the school, but Liam didn't move. The others got out, leaving him alone for a moment in the silence. Mason opened the door on his side, leaning in to look at him. "You're not going to let him go, right?" he asked with a half-smile. There was no need for an answer; they both knew. "I'll take care of this with the others, then I'll go look for him," the beta murmured, slowly getting out of the car.

As soon as it started to rain, Theo slowly moved toward his car. He was cold and was wearing only a short-sleeve shirt, still stained with gunpowder, slightly torn in a few places. He reached the pick-up and sat in the driver's seat. He immediately started the engine, already knowing where he was headed.

As he drove, he felt his phone vibrate and, as soon as he stopped at the traffic light, he pulled it out, hesitating for a second to see who it was. Liam's name lit up the screen, and Theo narrowed his eyes slightly as he read the various messages he had left him. Instinctively, he smiled and shook his head, then his finger slipped toward the button to lock the screen. But he stopped. He couldn't ignore it. He couldn't ignore him. Because every fiber of his being told him Liam deserved a response.

But he couldn't respond via text. Liam needed an explanation.

The drive to Liam's house was long. The rain had stopped, but the sky still looked threatening, and the road was deserted. It had been a while since there were many people in Beacon Hills, perhaps because of the fear that had been spread, or maybe because people knew a tragedy would unfold that night—one that, fortunately, hadn't happened.

Although Theo had calmed down from the moments spent in the hospital, there was something more that left him breathless. Something he couldn't shake off: Liam's gaze. Not while they were fighting. Not while they were in the elevator. But moments after. While absorbing Gabe's pain. Those eyes hadn't judged him. They hadn't hated him. And, most importantly, they hadn't avoided him, not like the others who had turned away. It was a feeling Theo couldn't explain, but it had pinned him in that moment, making him feel vulnerable like he had never felt before.

He reached Liam's house shortly after midnight. The porch light was on, and Theo stood a few meters from the door, his breath forming white clouds in the cold night air. He didn't have a plan, nor did he have an excuse for being there.

He just wanted to talk, because Theo had never had someone to talk to.

He stood there, motionless, staring at the closed door. His heart pounded, and his hands, clenched into fists, trembled. He didn't know if it was the cold or the nerves. Maybe both. He took a deep breath, taking one step forward. Then another. When he reached the door, he raised his hand, hesitated for a moment, and finally knocked twice. Not hard, but enough to be heard. Then he waited, feeling his heart pounding in his chest as the silence of the night enveloped him once again.

Immediately, Liam swung the door open. "Theo," he simply said, eyes wide. "Where the hell have you been?!" he shouted, then immediately put his hand over his mouth, remembering that his parents were home and likely had been asleep for a while.

"Can I?" Theo asked, removing his hat and holding it between his hands. "Yeah, sure," Liam replied, stepping aside to let him in and immediately closing the door.

"Nice place," Theo said, glancing around. Liam, who was looking at him with a scowl on his face, spread his arms. "Where have you been?" he asked again, as he sat down on the couch. Theo followed and sat next to him.

He rubbed his hands on his thighs, staring at the floor. "I went to the river, as usual," he mumbled. Then he bit his lip, avoiding Liam's gaze. Liam knew there was more, he could hear Theo's heartbeat faster than usual.

"I... I saw Tara at the hospital," Theo continued. "Your sister?" Liam asked, furrowing his brow. "Yeah, I never told anyone what was going on recently but..." He turned to face him, "I think it's time to talk to someone."

Liam nodded, saying nothing, respecting those moments of silence Theo took to try to think. He knew well that it would be hard for him to open up; it would be a real challenge against himself. But that moment had come, he felt the need for it.

"Since you brought me back from hell, I've started having nightmares about my sister. It all happened at the hospital, me coming out of one of the morgue drawers, and she found me, tore my heart out, and left me to die on the floor," he began explaining, "every time I dreamed about it, she always found me before the last time."

Liam swallowed, not being able to grasp how much Theo had been suffering during that period and how no one, not even Liam himself, had noticed. "Do you remember when we lured the ghost riders into the hospital? Remember how I froze at the start of the hall? My sister was there, I saw her, and she was coming toward me," he whispered.

Theo lowered his gaze, gripping his thighs, as if trying to calm the anxiety rising inside him. His voice, usually cold and devoid of any emotion, had turned into a trembling whisper. Every word seemed to cost him an immense effort, as though he was digging inside himself to pull out something he had tried to bury for too long.

Liam, however, remained silent. It was rare for him not to interrupt, but at that moment, he felt that every word would be unnecessary, that no words would make sense in that situation, and that it was enough to just listen. Because Theo needed someone to listen to him, just for once.

"Then tonight, after what happened, after that thing I did, I just wanted to walk around, clear my mind, I wanted to go into the woods, transform into a wolf, and run until the sun came up..." the chimera continued, leaning his back against the couch and resting his neck on it. He paused briefly, staring at the ceiling.

"Then I saw her, in the elevator," he started. "But this time she didn't do anything, she stroked my chest, looked me in the eyes, but not with hatred. She gave me peace, seeing her there, calm..." he went on.

He swallowed, "She told me she didn't need to take back her heart anymore. Maybe she meant that, somehow, I managed to make it mine, and that I finally used it the right way," he said, a small smile forming on his lips.

"For what you did to Gabe, right?" Liam asked, smiling. Theo turned to him, nodding. "When I saw him on the brink of death, suffering, I felt something inside me, something that pushed me to go to him and try to save him," he murmured. "But I didn't succeed, Gabe died, and you'll probably think he deserved it, but he was just a scared kid looking for power he couldn't have," he continued.

He licked his lips, lifting his head and staring at the wall across from him, "Just like I was," he whispered.

Liam hadn't realized he had gotten closer to Theo, to the point where their knees were touching, and he could smell his scent. Theo had lowered his head toward his legs, tapping his fingers on his knee.

"I don't know if Tara will leave me alone from now on," Theo said, trying to break the silence. "I think she will," Liam smiled.

Theo looked up slowly, and finally, his eyes met the smaller boy's. "You think?" he asked, and Liam nodded.

"Theo, I don't know if you're doing this to be accepted by the pack or because you want to be a better person, but do you realize you've saved lives these past few months?" he asked.

Theo furrowed his brow, tilting his head slightly, while Liam let out a nervous laugh.

"Are you serious?" Theo asked, then shook his head, still smiling. "You managed to warn us about Professor Douglas, then you protected me from the ghost riders and tonight from a group of lunatics whose only goal was to kill me," Liam began to list.

"You saved Mason from the Anuk-ite that night in the tunnels, you brought my friend back to the surface safe and sound. You didn't let Nolan kill me, and you didn't let me dirty my hands trying to kill him that time at the zoo..." he continued, "Is that enough or should I go on?" he asked.

Theo lowered his gaze. "Seriously, Theo, you've become a better person since you came back from hell, I don't know if you're doing it because you feel indebted to me, or to everyone else, or if you're doing it just because you want to be better and because you've realized your mistakes," the beta said again.

"Well, let's say saving you is more of a way to thank you for saving me from my sister's clutches," Theo said, returning the smile. "But yeah, I'm doing it for personal redemption, because I'm tired of people looking at me like I'm a monster, I'm tired of all this and..." He stopped, biting his lip.

Liam squinted, brushing his arm, trying to give him the strength to continue. Theo took a deep breath, "And my only intention tonight was to leave. To disappear completely," he went on.

Liam's eyes widened, and he stopped breathing for a moment. "What are you saying?" he whispered, trying not to let his voice tremble.

"I don't belong here, Liam," Theo replied, his voice carrying all the exhaustion he had inside. "Every time I try to do something good, there's always something that reminds me of what I used to be. I'll never do enough to redeem myself. It doesn't matter how many lives I save, how many times I put myself on the line. To everyone, I'll always be a failure and a monster."

Liam shook his head. "Don't say things like that, Theo. You're not a failure or a monster, and if you think that leaving will solve anything, you're seriously mistaken," he said, his voice firm and tone harsh.

"And what should I do, then? Keep pretending everything's fine? Keep fooling myself that one day I can change what I've been?" the guy asked, putting his head in his hands and resting his elbows on his knees.

Liam shot up from the couch and positioned himself in front of Theo, forcing him to raise his head and look him in the eyes. "You're not pretending, Theo. You're doing your best, and there's nothing fake about what you're doing. I know because I've seen it, and I keep seeing it every time you put your life on the line for someone else, every time you choose to stay and fight. I see it every time you..." he stopped, biting his inner cheek and turning his gaze away from the chimera. "What, Liam?" the older boy asked.

"Every time you look at me as if I'm the only thing that keeps you anchored to this place, as if I'm the reason you've stayed from the very beginning and didn't run away," he whispered.

Theo stared at him, unable to reply. Liam's words hit him like a punch to the stomach, sweeping away every defense he'd built. He felt a lump tighten in his throat, and for a moment, he lowered his gaze, unable to hold Liam's stare. They both stayed silent for a while, Liam remaining still in front of him, torturing his nails as he kept staring at Theo, waiting for a response. But it was slow to come.

Liam, however, didn't give up. He sat down next to him, closer than before. The silence between them grew heavier, Theo's body stiffened, his gaze fixed on the wooden coffee table in front of the couch. Then, Liam placed his hand on Theo's, trying to make room with his fingers and intertwining them with the other boy's. There was no hesitation in his movement, only a deep sincerity. Their fingers naturally tightened around each other.

Theo slowly raised his gaze and found himself looking into those eyes that had saved him more than he was willing to admit. There was no judgment, no pity. Just understanding. Just Liam. Just the two of them.

"That's why you can't leave," Liam said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Because you're not alone, Theo, now you have me."

The words hung in the air, and for a long moment, neither of them said anything. Theo looked down at Liam's hand, gripping it tightly. Liam felt a knot loosen in his chest. It was as if Theo, with that simple squeeze, was telling him everything he couldn't express in words. "Thank you," Theo whispered, his voice barely audible.

Liam shook his head. "Don't thank me, I can't let you leave and leave me here alone," he smiled. Theo laughed. "If you hadn't come back, you'd probably already be dead," he said.

Liam nodded, laughing. "I can't argue with that. With Corey disappearing as soon as he hears danger and Mason... well, he's just Mason, I don't think I would've survived much longer," he replied.

The two stayed there for a while, not realizing they were still holding hands. Sometimes Theo looked down at them and caressed the back of Liam's hand with his thumb. But they didn't let go.

Liam leaned back against the couch, taking a deep breath, and Theo followed him, leaning slightly toward him. Their hands were still intertwined, and neither seemed willing to let go.

Liam broke the silence after a while. "You know, sometimes I think we're here for a reason. That it's not just a coincidence." His tone was low, almost a whisper, as if he were afraid to say what he was thinking out loud. Liam smiled, a small but sincere smile. "Maybe the reason is just this. Being here, together, saving our lives and reminding each other we're not alone," he looked at him.

Theo didn't respond immediately. Those words echoed in his head over and over. He wasn't used to thinking in those terms, he wasn't used to allowing himself the luxury of feeling part of something. But with Liam, it was different. With Liam, everything seemed possible.

"Then I guess you're my reason," Theo murmured, almost without realizing it. The words slipped out before he could stop them, and for a moment, he thought he'd gone too far. Liam turned to him with an expression Theo couldn't immediately decipher. He wasn't embarrassed, he was calm. His face was relaxed, and he looked at him with those eyes that pierced his soul. "And you're mine, Theo," he simply replied.

They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, the sound of the rain starting to fall lightly against the windows filling the air. Theo realized that, for the first time in a long time, the weight he carried on his shoulders seemed lighter.

It hadn't gone completely, but it was easier to bear.

Maybe all he needed was to have someone by his side.

Maybe all he needed was Liam.

Liam closed his eyes, letting himself lean against Theo's shoulder, a gesture so natural it didn't even seem planned. Theo let him, looking down at the boy beside him. He didn't know how it had happened, but Liam had become his anchor, his constant in the middle of all this chaos.

And in that moment, sitting on the couch in that silent house, with the rain falling and their hands still intertwined, Theo allowed himself a thought that scared him, but filled him with a warmth he hadn't felt in years.

Maybe, he thought, it wasn't so wrong to stay.

Maybe staying would bring more challenges and difficulties, but in that moment, Theo understood that, for the first time in his life, he wouldn't have to face them alone.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Hi :)

The other night, I was listening to a super old playlist I found on my Spotify, and I came across Reflections by The Neighbourhood—one of the very few songs I absolutely love. While I was alone listening to it, I had a sort of revelation and decided to write a continuation that Jeff Davis (unfortunately) never gave us!

I truly hope you liked it, and please don't be silent readers—leave a star and a comment to let me know if you enjoyed it.

That said, I might disappear for a bit, but I'll be back once the exam season is over ;)

Lots of love, xx