The Point Of No Return

I blinked my eyes a bit faster, letting out a yawn, hearing people talking.

" Wait, what?" I asked, not realising I wasn't sleeping. Just sleepy.

" Everyone aboard...Well, the top chains of command trust your actions." Stace rubbed her eyes and looked forlorn for a moment.

She let out a " Oh" and took out a box from her front pocket and threw them in her mouth, chewing them with a disgusted expression.

" High grade caffeine. Don't ask"

I nodded, understand what went aboard the Aegir. I connected the dots again.

This again?

THIS IS THE FINAL LOG! JUST DON'T INTERFERE!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Pfft. Fine.

Too much caffeine leads to a lot of side effects. That's why her condition was worse than I expected. It causes sore limbs.

And that's why kids, don't do drugs.

I ain't even gonna bother asking anymore.

And that's what I want! Anyways, I'll take a quick break.

JUST GO ALREADY!

After that, we went on to discuss the landing simulation of the Aegir. And it took a long time. Real long...

" So, the hull should be constructed to a 'V' and should slide at an angle of 45 degree for maximum efficiency right? To cause the least turbulence and least damage to the ship itself." I suggested.

" Make it 30. Or it'll just wedge into the water and become a submarine. We don't want that, do we?" ATACC noticed as I started to sway, drowsiness kicking in again.

Don't joke around, me.

" And try to make it a smooth curve on the bottom. To let it slide and cause the pitch to sta-" And it happened again.

Oh, the heck. I've gotta go to sleep now? Again?!

I was sure I flopped on the table and hit my face but yeah, this should be something I should get used to.

And while the days weren't kind to me as usual.

But this time around, it was more vivid, more horrifying, and more and more making me second doubt myself and my decisions. At the worst time possible.

" Y-you di-did this, you monster..." This time, the body count was exceedingly high compared to only about a few dozen like last time.

Standing on top a sea of corpses. 

I will be the cause of their deaths. The cause of their demise. I will kill them all. I will look down to find dark, rich, blood in my hands.

Kicked out of my sphere of rationality by the words rummaging in my head, I wasn't able to put another facade on my face as I smile, ensuring them everything will be okay, while whimpering inside.

I waded among the lifeless bodies of the people I ruthlessly and selfishly murdered, just for the cause I wanted to be their saviour.

The one who protected Reflection. The one who let his fist childish desires take over and murdered the remnants of the human race.

The one who let everyone down.

The one who killed everyone.

The one who let the world be destroyed.

The one who was the cause of all this.

The one who stole the one thing that initiated the war.

And everything came back in the blink of an eye. The past of who I was.

I was the murder they have been searching for.

But willing to again, selfishly wash away the past and begin anew, I walked into the ocean and started to sink myself in the ocean that was supposed to save them.

Instead, I wanted it to save me.

I closed my eyes as the water started to ascend on my knees, to my hips, then to my chest and finally, over my head.

I counted.

Slowly.

To ten.

Hoping this wasn't the outcome to come out......

One

Two

Three

Four     

The water felt weird, as if solidifying itself becoming dense.

Five

Six

Seven   

I descended into the depths more and more and rose up, counting the last three.

Eight

Nine

Ten.

And when I surfaced, I realised that reality didn't want me to survive. It wanted me to suffer.

Suffer more than ever.

To repent.

The body of water changed. I tried to escape the sky, it came crashing down.

I walked across the land, trying to run away, it rotted with the corpses.

And now, I want to escape into the water. And it didn't give me water or death.

It gave me a sea of blood...

Blood I won't ever be able to wash off.

Ever...

Starting to slowly go insane, losing my mind, I frantically moved across the water, my vision red from all the world dying around me.

I fell on the only patch of land that wasn't tainted by the horrors around me.

Magnifying my fears, I scampered around the only grassland I could see and rolled on the blades of green, hoping to even wipe off this sin I did.

And as I did before in this world and the previous one, I will never be saved.

I will taint this last part of the world with my own hands.

Ironic.

Trying to save a world, I have killed it once.

And trying once again, to retract the pain I felt, I'm on the verge of destroying this one as well.

I pleaded, but also happy that nothing more could startle me.

But, on the edge of my eye, I found a sight that would forever scar me and my soul.

The woman who had already been through hell these centuries lying, supported by her back on the bark of a tree was just the other sight that fell in the path that my eyes wandered to.

Just that she was more frail than before...

no.

stop.

I tried to find my insufficient and seemingly vain voice to soothe her pain but I couldn't seem to find it.

Half naked, her chest heaving and her hands bleeding from the veins, which made it look she wanted to kill herself.

Much like how I was feeling night now...

My knees buckled as I fell on my legs at the front of her mangled yet, somehow beautiful body.

don't...

And even through all of this misery I faced, not a single shed of tear surfaced from the tip off my eye. Her mouth was quivering some message and one I wasn't close enough to to hear.

So I moved in closer, my nails digging into the unforgiving dirt, the warmth of the ground pulling me in. My mind relaying a message over and over again to myself.

BECOME PART OF IT. STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING.

And as insufferable as it was, my mind only gave me one word on repeat.

DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.
DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.
DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.

I couldn't maroon this feeling as my head started to ache, the pain subduing my confidence as it hit rock bottom.

The message Stace Collet said struck my ears.

" It hurts. Grant me the kiss of death" Her emerald green eyes were killing me over and over again.

It was bloodshot.

It's bleeding...

The voice was clear and vivid as a voice can be, regardless of her suffering outside.

please...stop.

My heart was now officially devastated and broken into more than a million pieces as I pulled her in close to my body. Closer as I felt the chill of a dying body.

More times than I ever needed to.

More times than anyone asked me to.

More times than I should have.

More times than I could have done something about it.

She looked at me, with a warm smile and a few drops of blood escaping her mouth. She knew I would give it to her. I took out my shirt and covered her as I tore out another piece and covered her veins.

I hugged her tighter, trying my best to ensure her that everything was going to be alright.

But now that I think about it, I was just really trying to convince myself this wasn't gonna happen, wasn't I?

Close your eyes.

I obeyed my own command as I granted her wish.

I wiped the hair off her withering body.

Tears in my eyes, guilt in my mind, blood on my hands and guilt in line, I cupped her face and whispered," I'm sorry" when I really meant it...

As the blood from my hand dripped down her chin, I gently placed my lips on her forehead as I heard a faint," Idiot"

Now smile.

And at that moment, everything lit around me like a firework as I found my lips in possession of the one who I called Aria.

My mind had returned back to normal as I snapped back to reality.

Wild imagination I've got.

I chuckled, tears finally stinging the edges of my eyes. " What? Nightmare? I thought you were a tough one." She helped my sorry bum out off the bed as I resisted, pulling her on me.

" I'm not a crybaby, Aria!" I said, grinning wide eyed, forgetting all about the nightmare that had me stiffened seconds ago.

I gently pressed myself onto her and kissed her, deepening the power on her as she enjoyed me on her.

remember.

But the damage had already been done. My eyes turned cold as I held her tight, unknowing if I was choking her or even if she had been crushed.

The sound of choking, coughing from me.

And I began to cry. I whimpered, which soon turned to wailing as I held her tighter.

I wanted to drown myself in my tears if I would be free from this choice.

She wriggled her fingers in between as she paused.

" Let it out, darling." She clung onto my shirt as I tried to leave every ounce of pain I had known in these 600 years and I cried till my voice gave out and I collapsed with Aria Aurora on my arms.

Daybreak.

" Ahem. Your sister needs some love too, you know? I might just be having her as my sister in law in a few months and I don't want to get all the attention." Aria ran her fingers along my chest and woke me up. 

And it all hit me again.

But this time, I had no tears to give. The pain had subsided. I laid my eyes on her and had one thing to say.

" You're goddamn beautiful, you know that?" And gave her a peck.

She gave me a smile, fixing my hair as I changed my outfit.

" Why don't we go get some fresh air?" She suggested as I nodded along to it.

And I opened the door, opening my eyes to a fire that brought back the nightmare.

I landed my eyes on the most beautiful sunrise I've ever seen at Reflection.

" Ironic"

Blood red...

And my mind had but one thing to relay again.

And now forget it all. One last time.

I found a small Jeamie Kytte and another small ATACC playing with the robot having his grinning emoji on.

Gods I love the upgrade so much.

But the thought kept creeping onto my mind.

Is this right? What if I fail? What if they all die and the reason being me? What if the dream was a premonition?

I didn't realise I was still, with a confused Aria shaking me.

Most probably confused as to why Jason.exe had stopped working.

" Hello!? Aria to Jason!" She knocked on my forehead. Tears stood on the brink of my eye again, this time refusing to go in or out.

She noticed this and wiped it off, a serious look on her face.

" Hey, hey. What's wrong?" She made me look at those eyes, making sure no one else was in my path of view.

Those two orbs of sapphire made me lose myself as I decided it was only right she had to know.

" What if it doesn't work?" I looked at her pleadingly.

" What if I fail? I'll be the murderer of mankind."

Does she know?

She placed her palm on the side of my face as she slapped it gently. Twice.

" I believe in you. I believe you won't fail." She gave me another slap.

" And I promise you. You won't"

She came in for a kiss and I recieved it, no resistance whatsoever.

Ignoring Jeamie and her yelps in the background as ATACC was short circuiting by the actions we did in front of the girls.

But I'm still sure she's a mature lady with her mind.

She wrapped her arms around me and dug her lips in deeper as I felt the mark of the scar that I left when I supposedly teared or maybe bit off her flesh.

She took off her mouth for a second, gasping for air.

Her mouth spread into a smile as she said with relief.

" That's the Kytte I know!" She gave me another one as I approached the day of my reckoning.

My judgement day, maybe.