Chapter 6. Photos

I open the door in front of me. The room was still the same. I remember Ma would always keep it clean even though I wasn't living here. The violin was resting in peace on the side. Was it ever cleaned?

I walk towards it and open it. A small smile creeps on my face as I see it neat and clean. Ma was always the responsible one in this household. What I and dad did was just create a mess.

I keep it in the same place and look around the whole room. The portrait above the head of my bed. The typical formal family photo. Oh, how I wish to have a family with Shahid. But I can't.

How a broke girl like me can ever have a family of her own? I don't want to tie Shahid down in the shackles with me. I love him. I do.

But my wish hasn't come true yet. Every girl's wish when she chooses a guy to marry.

I wanted to stop feeling all these emotions. I just wanted to stop it altogether. I press my hand on my chest. The pain was unbearable. Funny how even after six years, it still feels the same. The wound hasn't healed yet.

I look around, clutching my heart. How can I leave all of this behind? How can I leave them behind? Shame on me for ever thinking that they will be better off without me.

My hands automatically go to my drawer beside my bed. That is where I kept my photo albums, all organized neatly into family members, relatives, and friends.

A separate album with just me and my dad. I left this album here when I moved out, refusing to give in to these emotions of my heartbreaking.

The album had leather covering with 'DAD' inscribed on top of it. My hands tremble as I open it.

My heart was screaming.

Am I ready?

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