The chapter sub-title 'Made yer Look yer Dirty Chook' is a chant from my distant school-yard days. Does anyone else remember that one? It's appropriate, because I thought that the title 'The Dildo Cake' would make you take a second glance and no, I've not branched out into 'Adult' stories. Not my style:I'll leave that to someone else. The story goes as follows.

About twelve or thirteen years ago, our daughter was in Year twelve at High School ( last year of senior high school in Oz). She had a strong friendship group ( who called themselves the Alternative Popular Group, as there were many Goths,Punks and Emos among them) There seemed to be a party or event on every weekend. It's just as well they were all bright kids, who for the most part were high achievers, but this story is not about their academic abilities: more about their unique sense of fun and humour and yes, I guess sometimes that involved under-age alcohol or weed.

.One day, in the middle of the year, one of the boys was approaching his eighteenth birthday and naturally he was having a big party with a whole host of his friends. He expressed a wish for a 'Dildo' birthday cake.No, I'm not kidding. His Dad was a Uniting Church Minister ( Methodist Minister), so it was unlikely that his parents would provide such a cake.

Our daughter decided to grant him this birthday wish, by baking the 'Dildo' cake herself. She was good at baking and I'd always taken time while she was growing up to let her help me when I was cooking. Besides this, she didn't have a part-time job then and couldn't afford a present.

The day of the party arrived and our daughter diligently baked the cake, though I can't remember what pan she used in order for the shape to be right. I just remember that it was very realistic-looking, particularly when she iced it in pink. I know she was very pleased with it and it certainly made my husband and me laugh. We probably took a photo of this famous cake, but it has long since disappeared.

My husband drove her to the party and collected her then-boyfriend and a couple of the other kids on the way. He dropped them off at the birthday boy's house and drove home.

Apparently, then the group of friends went to the front door and knocked, expecting it would most likely be answered by their school-mate. However, the person who answered the door was the boy's dad, none other than the Methodist Minister. There was our daughter, holding the cake, which looked exactly as it was meant to; a large dildo. I imagine this is what the Dad noticed first; I mean, how could you not? I asked our daughter whether she remembered that moment and whether the dad showed any reaction. She did remember, but didn't think he even raised an eyebrow. After all,he was just as used to teenagers as we were. The cake was a smash hit with the party crowd though.