Hello humans.... 

I thought long and hard about how I'd post this. Whether I should act as if nothing happened or at least acknowledge my shitty way of returning. I even thought about not coming back at all for god knows how long since I've grown... distant from art and this platform over the weeks. In the end, this is what I wrote:

I'm sorry for my sudden leave. I didn't feel like disappointing anyone again so I kinda disappeared, hoping no one would care to notice, and went on vacation, hoping things would get solved on their own. They didn't however and now I crawl back to you shamefully. This is just a small notice for whoever cares to read.

I didn't ever want to drag anyone down again because frankly it sucks for everyone involved, but I did it again and I'm so sorry for that.

I should be happy. I made a friend, a good friend that I can fucking tell anything and he won't find me weird (even though he should! I mean, I had a discussion about how I like sports bras with him, who does that??). My parents have went back to normal and are leaving me alone, acting as if my breakdown in front of them never happened. Which is actually exactly what I wanted, mind you (even if it doesn't solve my problems, at least I won't have them meddling in my affairs anymore). My sister is going to take me in for a week and I love her to pieces for that.

As I said, I should be happy. I just can't bring myself to be, somehow, and I just wish I knew why.

Essentially, I'm a huge pile of "what the hell am I doing?" and I just want it all to end.

Have this crippled picture of a giraffe (amongst other stuff I tried to draw but couldn't. I had trouble drawing this vacation :/)

Fix you... or rather, fix me?

Again, guys, I'm so sorry for leaving you all alone this month without an explanation. Some may have missed me, some probably didn't even notice.

If I could do it again, I'd rewind until two months ago and do it all different. I never wanted to hurt any of you and I hope I didn't.

I do plan on coming back, talk to people directly and whatnot, but alas, I'm a coward and currently am not able to do either of those things properly. But some day, yeah? I'll slowly work my way back into this, and I'll try to answer all your comments and whatever else at some point. For now, I'll just listen and do my best.

I don't want to drag this out any longer than I already have, so have this song that describes my feelings all too well right now

https://youtu.be/mKkv2PjQsQ4