-• a second chance •-

Rudra

you're not a winner in the first win.
not in second either.
in the third? debatable.

I love eyes on me, I like the attention. Being surrounded by people, who look up to me, want to be me or with me, either way are envious of me, I feed on that kind of sense of superiority. In that crowd, there are also people who are disgusted by me, consider me unworthy of everything I own, and look down on me for not being a royal blood. I steer away from people who know my truth. Of course, Virendra is a leech I can never get rid of, but the Rawals were a choice, and I chose not to make it. They saw me when I was at my lowest, when I wasn't capable of introducing myself, let alone be proud of my roots. I had been abandoned and they had taken pity on me, for their daughter's blood ran in my veins, and in a way, they owed it to her.

I'm okay being an orphan. I don't need blood relationships to feel like I belong. Thousands of kids are abandoned everyday, if they can get on with their lives without having anyone looking after them, so can I. And I have. For so long, until now, I had nobody on my side, no family, no friends, no blood relatives, and I did fine, more than fine.

Yes, having at least one person, dedicated wholly to me, with their utmost loyalty and love was my long time wish, but now I've it fulfilled. I have a wife, and she may not love me right now, but I know eventually she'll learn to. And that's enough for me. She's enough for me.

Tara is akin to the Queen on a chess board. She opens multiple possibilities for me. I can start a family with her, have kids of our own, lead a normal life of a family man, and happily grow old with her. I don't need a readymade family to make that happen, and I certainly don't need anyone else to bring me that kind of happiness.

But I'm not sure Taranya understands that. She sees hope in people who gave me their name. She wants to give them a chance, one that I didn't, and see where it takes us. I've a feeling I'm setting us- her up for a disappointment because from what I've heard, Rana Singh Rawal is a man of strong opinions, borderline bigoted, and hates being challenged, especially by people of less age or status.

I was only fifteen when Yuvraaj had taken me to Ratangarh. I still vividly remember the Rawal Haveli. It's imprinted in my head. I did not necessarily memorize the archaic architecture, it happened so as I imagined my mother in her days of youth leaping through the hallways, tinkering the curtains, and giggling with her girlfriends in the gardens. I wanted to believe she was happy there, because I know she never felt that upon coming here. I wanted to believe she wasn't ruined before she came here, and she knew what happiness and love felt like. I may have never met that woman, but I know if she was alive, she'd have protected me. I can't blame her for opting the only way out of this hell hole. It's not that I never thought about it before. I pride myself on being strong and powerful, but when it came to sparing my younger self of any more abuse, torture and nightmares, I turned into a coward who was greedy to live more.

I hated dying while knowing my tormentors are still alive and happy. And as soon as an opportunity was presented to me, I grabbed it.

"Are you not going to answer the phone?"

I flinch, my eyes darting past the computer screen, at the man standing at the doorstep. Yuvraaj nods towards my burner phone ringing next to the pen stand and I spare it a glance. "It has been ringing for the last five minutes now."

I press the power button and flip the screen upside down. "It's the Chief Minister."

Removing his hand from the slacks pockets, he crosses them on his chest and stands straight. "And why are you not answering?" He asks me seriously.

"He's not completely helpless yet." I answer, glancing at him for a fleeting second. "If I answer now, he'll try to cut a deal with me. And I'm not very keen on spending a penny on him anymore. I want him to reach a low where when he looks up, he sees only one way out, and that's through me. Only then he'll be eager to please me, impress me. That's where I want him."

"Don't stretch the elastic to the point it snaps." He advises.

"Even if it snaps, he'll be the one getting hurt. Not me."

Yuvraaj sighs. "Well, you're stubborn, but you're also smart. Do what it takes, but keep in mind we don't have much time."

"Can you do me a favour?"

Yuvraaj raises a brow at me.

"I have a meeting with Nagaraj Gupta next week."

"The general secretary of National Liberal Party? Isn't he always criticising the Chief Minister in public?"

I nod. "I want us to be photographed together."

"Why me? I mean, why do you want me to come? I've been openly supporting the current ruling party-"

"Yeah, and now you're attending a formal dinner with your brother-in-law. That's it." I state.

"So you want him to think I'm planning to turn my back on him?"

I nod. "He'll get more desperate. And he'll try to reach you. When he calls you, don't answer. Let the call come in through your secretary and then say you were roped into the event due to family obligations."

"You want him to think I've dropped him out of my priority contacts?"

I hum. "I want him to think he's losing his importance. He's gotten too cocky. He needs to be humbled."

Yuvraaj nods. "Alright, got it. When is the dinner?"

"My personal secretary at Rajawat Corporation is still in talks with the man's assistant, but he told her to keep my Monday and Tuesday evening free. So I'm guessing it's either of them."

"I'll let Zoya know." He turns to leave, then pauses abruptly and faces me again. "I almost forgot what I was here for. Tara has been trying to reach you. She called me to let you know. Call her back." He leaves my office and closes the door after him.

I look at my phone unsurely.

I've a hunch what she's trying to call me for. We were supposed to visit Ratangarh today. But in the morning, I kind of got cold feet and pushed it to evening, reasoning I've so much work and several meetings lined up. She was considerate even though I dropped the plan last minute, and said she'll wait for me at the palace after returning from her office. It's been long enough since she clocked out and I've been ignoring her texts and calls.

I rub my temples in stress and finally muster up the courage to call her back. She answers on the third ring.

Skipping the pleasantries, she instantly jumps to ask, "Where are you?"

I swallow.

She's pissed.

God, I'm screwed.

"Of- Office." I answer.

"Still busy?"

I hum.

"When will you be home?"

I look at the clock.

Fuck.

It's already eleven o clock. How the heck did I lose the track of time? Ever since getting married, I always made sure to return home before nine. This is bad. No wonder she's angry.

"I'm - I'm on my way!" I get up hurriedly and bump my knee against the table, stifling a painful groan as I hop around the office to grab my coat and car keys. "Give me thirty minutes." I say through a wince.

She hangs up.

I stop by Yuvraaj's office to let him know I'm done for the day.

"Already?" He looks at me in amusement.

"She's furious." I sigh softly.

He chuckles. That's right, people, this man knows how to laugh. "That's my sister. She hated us coming home late. Vivaan made it a point to stop by atleast for the dinner during busy days. She's a storm to handle when she's angry."

"I'm slowly learning why it's fatal to make her mad." I jest.

He smirks. "Married life looks good on you."

"It does?" I raise a brow, still lingering at the doorstep. Because if I went in, then I'll sit down, and if I sit down then we'll eventually divert to work and I'll lose the track of time again.

He nods. "Made you more responsible."

"Is it normal?"

He shrugs. "I wouldn't know."

"You were married once." I snort.

He grows uncomfortable.

I know it's not okay to poke at someone's wounds, but I love riling him up. It's the only way I can get something out of him.

Running a finger inside his collar, he clears his throat. "In our case, it turned out to be a sham. We did everything we could to avoid each other."

"Why? You never felt anything towards her?" I ask, genuinely curious.

His jaw works and I see the outline of his molars as he grinds his teeth tightly. "You should go. Don't be too late." With that, he dismisses me by focusing back on the work. I pull myself off the door frame and pull it close, nodding at Rachel on my way to the elevator.

The drive to Rajawat Palace lasts another thirty minutes. I'm in the middle of cutting off the engine and grabbing my briefcase from the backseat when the front door opens and Taranya slides in, buckling herself up instantly.

"Esther?" My tone comes out surprised.

She gives me a poker face. "Take me on a drive."

I blink. "Is that you giving me a chance to apologise?"

She shrugs and looks ahead. "Whatever you think."

I drop the briefcase and turn on the engine, manoeuvring the car down the gravel driveway and out of the palace premises.

"I'm sorry, I was caught up with work."

"Yeah, I understand," she says tersely, "you were so busy you couldn't even find time to reply to my texts." She stares outside the window.

"You know that's not true," I lean over and take her hand in mine, bringing it over my thigh. "My phone was on silent. It wasn't intentional."

She feigns to understand with a nod.

I try not to ruin my mood along with hers. "So, how was your day? I'm sorry I couldn't find time to watch your live. But I'm sure you were great."

She hums.

I clasp her hand tighter in mine. "Did you have dinner yet?"

She shrugs. "It's eleven. Normal people eat at eight and go to sleep by this time."

I sigh. "Should we stop somewhere? I'm starving."

"You can if you want to."

I drop her hand and put mine back on the steering. She retracts to herself, crossing her arms on her chest as she stares outside. I thought the drive was meant to talk it out and sort the issue, not to project passive aggressive behaviour while only one side tries.

"Let's just go home," I make a U- turn at the next signal.

She doesn't object so I take it as a yes. A few minutes later, her phone starts ringing on her lap. I glance at the screen and read her best friend's name.

"Yes, Janet," she answers the call immediately. "Nothing, just driving around with my busy husband." I lick the inside of lips in annoyance. "You know how men are. They think only they've work. Women gossip and giggle at office and return home at the first chance they get."

"Tara!" I call out sternly.

"Isn't that why you ignored me the whole evening?" She glares at me. "I clocked out earlier than usual because we had plans, Rudra! But you did not have enough decency to call me or even let me know through a simple text that you'll be late! Do you have any idea how much time I wasted waiting for you!?" She hisses.

"Uhm, I'll call you later." Janet says in the background. "Good night, Tara. Good night, Sho- Rudra." She hangs up.

Taranya drops the phone in her lap and folds her arms across her chest.

I clench the wheel tightly, picking up speed so we reach faster. It's becoming a task keeping up with her anger right now.

A few minutes later, I'm stopping the car in the porch and killing the engine. But Taranya doesn't step out. She keeps staring outside the windshield.

"I hate this."

"What?" I ask in the dark.

"If we're not having sex, we're arguing." She mutters.

I drop my head on the seat.

"We find stupid things to argue about."

"I don't." I clarify.

She looks at me in disbelief. "Fine! I'm the problem! I love arguing with you!" Throwing the door open, she storms inside the palace. Shaking my head tiredly, I grab my briefcase from the backseat and step out of the car. Amir volunteers to park my car in the garage since the valet goes off duty at 11 PM except for special occasions. I thank the man with a pat on the back and head inside. My eyes catch the slender figure making way upstairs and I try not to think of the way her hips move, or the way those long legs carry her gracefully.

I follow her upstairs and inside our bedroom, glancing her way as she tosses her phone on the nightstand and sits down while I close the door before putting my briefcase on the desk.

"I'm sorry," I tell her as I remove my blazer and undo the cufflinks of my sleeves. She meets my eyes. "I'm at fault. I should have told you I'll be late."

"Were you ignoring me?"

I sigh in defeat.

"Because I want to meet your mother's side of the family?" She guesses right.

I nod softly.

"You could have said so! I wasn't forcing you!" She exclaims.

"I know." I look into her eyes. "I just- I didn't want to disappoint you. You've to understand Tara, I've never met those people before-"

"But you said-"

"It doesn't count!" I cut her off. "I was fifteen. I didn't even know who they were until Yuvraaj told me on our way to Ratangarh. For the time I was there, which cannot be more than two hours, I was accompanied by a maid who showed me around the Haveli and by the time I returned, Yuvraaj had convinced them to adopt me. That's it. I never spoke to them. Hell, I don't even remember what they look like. They are not my family, Taranya. You are my family. And I didn't want to disappoint my family because of something so insignificant."

"Do you hate them?"

I release a strangled breathe. She's not getting the point. "It's not about hate. I cannot hate someone I've barely met. The problem is, I don't know them. I cannot just pop up out of nowhere and claim myself to be a part of their family."

She falls quiet. "Okay, fine, I get it now." She mumbles under her breath, picking at the corner of the quilt absent-mindedly. "It was difficult for me to adjust with my brothers when Dad brought me here first. I knew they were my family, but for a long time I couldn't accept them as one." She sighs, looking up at me timidly. "I'm sorry. I almost forced you into it. I was just so happy at the prospect of meeting your mother's family." She pouts.

Relief floods into me. I approach the bed and settle down next to her. She pulls her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them as she looks at me sheepishly.

"It's okay. I'm also sorry for not speaking up earlier. I should have made it clear that I'm not comfortable. I gave you the idea that I'm fine and then purposefully ignored you."

She nods.

My eyes drop to her lips and she lowers her knees, as if inviting me.

"I need to take a shower." I whisper.

"Later." She crawls closer and swings her leg over my lap, spreading my collar open before her mouth sinks over mine. I groan softly, burying a hand into her voluptuous hair and bunching them in a fist while my other hand slides beneath her ass, dragging her closer until she's beautifully mounted on my hard dick.

"Aren't we taking it slow?"

"Slow?" She scoffs. "It's been twenty four hours. Just put it in. We can do slow later!" Grabbing a condom from the nightstand drawer, she tosses it at me and gets down my lap, lying on the bed on her side impatiently. "Stop staring at me like an owl and fuck me!"

Hiding my amusement, I roll over the condom on my throbbing girth and climb on top of her, giving her the quick high she had been anticipating.

Ten minutes later, I fall on my back and stare up at the ceiling, sweaty and sated. The smell of sex permeates the room, along with the strange mix of my cologne and her perfume, weirdly intoxicating and addictive.

"I can take your dick in my mouth." She says out of the blue.

Startled, I look at her gobsmacked. "You- You don't need to. I had an orgasm."

"No, silly, that's not what I meant."

"What did you-" The dots connect in my head faster than light and I'm rolling back on top of her. "You cannot eat hard food, am I right?"

She nods, trailing an index finger down the side of my face.

"I knew it! I knew something was off about your weird diet plan." I state. "How did this happen?" My brows furrow worriedly.

She places her hand in the centre of my pecs. "After Dad's death. The last thing I ate was the Halwa he made. It was Yuvaan Bhai's birthday and Dad took us to a local Gurudwara where he cooks for everyone during our birthdays. I couldn't swallow any hard food after that day."

"Have you met a doctor regarding this?"

She shakes her head. "Meeting a professional entails speaking about that day, about his death, and confronting the loss again. I'm not prepared yet." She looks at me with her fragile blue eyes.

"It's okay," I shush her with a soft kiss. "No one's forcing you. Take your time. I'm always here for you."

She nods, forcing a small smile of assurance.

My heart lurches forward painfully at the broken expression on her face. "And anytime you want something hard in your mouth, my dick is available. Don't worry." I say earnestly.

She sputters out laughing, and she laughs so hard tears spill across her cheeks. "There, that's the smile I love the most. I was missing it." I place a tender kiss on her lips. She sighs against my mouth and opens her lips wider.

"I'm here too," she says after pulling away. "Until you come to me on your own and tell me you're ready to meet them, I'm here."

I stiffen.

"Because while I've hated coming here and adjusting with seven strange men that were supposed to be my family, I cannot pat my younger self on the back enough for taking that courageous step. She is so well loved, Rudra. The sixteen year old Taranya who thought herself to be an orphan, she was, and is still, loved to the moon and back by her family." Her hand cups my cheek fondly. "And I want you to feel that love. I've a feeling they're the right people for you."

"And what if they refuse to accept me?" I whisper.

"Their loss." She shrugs. "Because you're a man made to be loved. And anyone who cannot see that, will never know how to love someone truly. Unloving you is detrimental to love, Rudra."

My breath hitches. "You're not saying that to make me feel better, are you?"

She smiles softly. "You were abandoned by love for a long time, weren't you?"

I nod.

"Don't worry, you've so many people looking out for you now. And love finally knows, your happiness is directly linked with theirs. It cannot abandon you anymore. Love needs you more than you need love."

Them>>>>>

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