-• an agreement •-

Taranya

12 hours ago

I have a decision to make.

A decision that'll most possibly change my entire life. It's six in the morning. I'm staring at the wall clock in front of me, thoughtlessly drifting into the distance, where nothing but his thoughts lurk in my head. I've so much to give up on if I say no to him. That much is clear after my conversation with Yuvraaj and surprisingly, Arush last night. I didn't expect him to be on Shourya's side. He wasn't speaking for him, per se, but he did sound inclined to the idea of me giving Shourya a chance. I don't know what happened in the past three years that softened him towards Shourya. Then again, he was never overly protective about me, which never bothered me before yesterday. Because while I don't expect him to beat up every guy who makes a pass at me, I also didn't expect him to take sides with man who betrayed me badly in the past. Perhaps, they got close during the University phase? They're graduating in the same major, after all.

Possible.

Plus, Arush is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. In fact, he is much easier to convince. And Shourya's ridiculously glorious face is also backed up with skills such as eloquence and confidence, so much of it. He wouldn't need to do much to get my brother on his side.

I've no idea if Arush knows the whole thing or not. But considering the one sided conversation we had last night, one thing was clear, he trusts Shourya enough. And that, somehow, wavers my disposed feelings about Shourya. I had stopped trusting every word that comes out of his mouth, and for a good reason. But there's no point denying that his feelings towards me weren't a lie. He did like me, still does. The problem is, I don't find myself wanting a future with him. He has lied too much, too many times, and he chose the most fucked up moment to confess. I was already broken that night, I didn't need the knife of his betrayal to stab me deeper into the chest. He has so many closed doors, and the ones he has opened for me to see, I've already grown an aversion towards them. What is the guarantee I won't feel the same towards the remaining?

The bottom line is, I don't want to make a wrong decision. And Shourya, he's a definition of all wrong. A bad habit. An addiction. He's all the toxic you'd want to drain out of your veins, and then crave it back because without it you feel sober, detached, and alone. He's not a good news.

He'd drive me into a fucking tragedy at a speed that'll neither let me jump out of the car, nor hold still.

Doesn't sound enticing, does it?

I could say no to him.

I should say no to him.

I shouldn't even be thinking so much about it. So what if we're unable to get revenge for our father? Karma is there. Karma will hit those cruel Rajawats and bring them to their knees. It'll happen. Eventually. I believe in God. I need to put behind every bitter memory of my past and move on in my life.

I've a great future planned ahead.

I'll be graduating this early June. I already have several job offers lined up for me. I can start with weather forecasting, then slowly work my way up to becoming a crime reporter that I have always wanted to be. Then I'll date a nice man, marry him, have kids, and I'll be happy. With time, maybe Rajawats will get what they deserve. The fall of their Empire.

Maybe.

Right, maybe.

Fuck.

I sit up on the bed and cradle my forehead in my hands, fisting my hair as I stare at the plain blue sheets of my bed.

Yuvraaj's words echo in my head.

"Their marriage will prove to be a great disadvantage for our plans."

"I heard her grandfather is trying for politics this year?" I had treaded the water carefully with that question, because after searching relentlessly on the internet to get at least some scoop on the topic, I was still empty handed. That could only mean two things. Either Shourya lied to me, which is definitely possible and my only hope, or they're keeping it under wraps.

When Yuvraaj answered, the latter theory was confirmed. "Yeah, I got to know about it recently. I've planted a detective in Delhi to confirm the rumour. But I haven't heard from him yet. That's what bothering me too. How do you know about it though?"

"I'm becoming a Journalist." Was my pathetic excuse. Fortunately, he ran along with it. "So, if they get married, will it be bad for us?" Fingers wringing together, I had asked the question bothering me for the last 48 hours.

"I don't know." He had shaken his head. "I hope not. But don't worry. Shourya and I'll take care of it. This will end soon."

Shourya and I.

He didn't say, I'll take care of it. He said, Shourya and I. I fall back on the bed with a groan. God loves testing my patience. And I think I'm about to fail because I'm running out of it.

I need to talk to someone. Janet. I need to talk to Janet. She has unbiased advises always. She'll be able to help me make a decision. She was also against the idea of me marrying Shourya. She'll come up with something. She'll assure me that marrying him isn't the only solution. She'll tell me to not feel so pressured to make a life changing decision.

Yes. I need to talk to her.

Getting off the bed, I put on my slippers and step out of the room.

"My love, the breakfast is ready-"

"She doesn't eat pancakes." Agastya cuts him off. "I'll whip up something quick for her."

"Oh, why? She used to love them."

"She doesn't like them anymore." I tune out of their conversation and make my way towards Janet's room.

The open door has me frowning. Janet adores her privacy as much she adores her make-up. And Agastya has a bad habit of barging into my room. Since Janet likes to spend at least an hour getting ready in the morning, still wrapped up in her towel, she always double checks that her door is locked in case my hyper brother forgets his manners and barges in without a knock.

I approach her room and put my hand on the knob, ready to push it ajar when the noises coming from inside stop me.

"Date? You went on a date?" Janet asks, her voice accusing.

My brows furrow together in confusion. Who's she talking to?

"Big deal."

Ayush.

"It is a big deal, damnit! We share everything! You know all about my dates, boyfriends, friends, it's only fair I know too!"

"Fair?" Ayush scoffs. "Janet, we're friends. You're not my mother. I don't need to report my every day activity to you like an obedient son!" He snaps.

I flinch. He sounds angry.

Fuck, it's wrong to eavesdrop. I should probably leave. No, I should definitely leave. But I've been rooting for these two so long it's like I've to know if everything's okay between them. I wouldn't be able to think clearly. And I clearly have so many pressing matters to think about.

"Yes- but-" She stutters.

"But what?" He demands. "Tell me, Janet. You go on dates, you make boyfriends, you even tell me who you slept with! But me going on dates bothers you? Do you know how fucked up that sounds?" He lashes out.

"I- I'm different."

He laughs mirthlessly. "Different? That's your reason!?"

"You- You're not the guy to-"

"To what? To go on dates? Have a stable relationship? What do you think of me? That I'm a socially awkward introvert who prefers staying cooped up in his library reading books for the rest of his life? I've feelings too, Janet. I saw a girl. I liked her. I took her out. We even kissed." The last sentence was for sure added as a jab.

"Right." She murmurs. "Right, you can go on dates. I'm sorry. My reaction was uncalled for. I just didn't expect to hear such an important detail about your life from another person. You- You should go on dates, actually. It's about time you find a girl for yourself." She chuckles. It's not genuine. Her words are not genuine. "You've been single for far too long."

"We should end this." Ayush declares.

I frown.

"End what?"

"This.... Our friendship, I guess." He fumbles with his words. "You're graduating soon. You already have a book written. I'm sure you'd want to look for a good publisher now. I'll start my medical internship too. We don't have time to be online, long distance friends. Doesn't sound like it'll work out. I'm also planning to take it ahead with that girl."

"Oh," is her only response.

"Yeah," he whispers. "So, let's not-" he gasps, his words cut off abruptly. I step back from the door. And then I hear the undeniable sound of smooching with low moans slipped into it. Grimacing, I gently pull the door close. That's not where I thought the conversation was going. But good for them.

Sluggishly, I walk back to my room and sprawl over my bed. Eyes on the ceiling, I realise I've nobody to turn to for advice. I'm not turning into a selfish bitch and making Janet's situation all about me. I'm sure the two will need an enormous amount of time to sort this- whatever - it is between them.

"Tara," Agastya appears at the doorstep. "C'mon, short stuff, the breakfast is ready. Head to the dining room, I'll go and call Janet and twins."

"No!" The shout rips from my throat without my permission.

He startles. "What?"

"I'll - I'll go and call her." I get up from the bed and rush outside past him.

"Weirdo," I hear him mumble but don't stop to retort.

Inhaling a deep breath, I lift my hand to knock. Then stop abruptly. What if they're in the middle of something? They made sure the door is locked now. I get rid of the gross imagination with a shake of my head. I don't need the images of my brother tonguing my best friend's mouth in the bed we've spent nights watching sappy Disney movies.

Stepping closer, I press my ear to the frame, but step back a second later.

What am I doing?

Just knock.

Nodding to myself, I lift my hand and rap my knuckles against the door frame. It takes a few seconds for me to hear something crash to the floor. I wince. Then a few more seconds for the door to open. Janet stands, half her body behind the door, her face visible from the slit. She looks spent. Her hair dishevelled, cheeks flushed, pupils blown, and lips swollen.

"Uhm, the breakfast- breakfast is ready."

"We'll be- I'll be there. Just give me five minutes. I'm - I'm doing yoga."

"Yeah, yoga." I force a small smile.

She shrugs, chuckling softly. "I've been wanting to try it someday."

"Sure." I mumble, a little discomforted over the whole ordeal . "Come soon." Then I remember what she's actually doing in there, and wave my hands around awkwardly, "Or take your time. I don't know. That's all." And I march back the path I led.

"Thanks!" She shouts and slams the door shut. I hear something crash to the floor twice. Holding back another wince, I walk to the dining room and pull myself a chair.

"Janet and Ayush?" Vivaan asks once he realises the absence at the table.

"Janet is busy doing yoga." I answer, my eyes meeting Arush's across the table. He smirks. I glare at him subtly.

"And Ayush?"

"He's reading a book or something." Arush plays along with my lie. "He'll come if he's hungry." .

"But he hasn't eaten this morning -"

"He ate a lot last night. He was even complaining about how his stomach feels like it'll burst soon." Arush throws in casually.

"Alright," Vivaan gives up. "You sure you'll be fine with oat soup, only? There's also scrambled eggs and bread." He regards me with a curious look.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I mumble. I've grown habitual of eating less liked food because they suit my stomach. And Agastya does his best to make them taste good with his innovations. He should really consider taking hotel management.

Arush follows me into my room after the brunch. "They're getting freaky in her room, aren't they?" He asks excitedly, ready to dig up the latest gossip like paparazzi.

"Shut up." I hiss, "and close the door."

He turns around and closes the door, a giddy smile on his face.

"You're creeping me out."

"I'm just happy for my brother." He defends. "It's about time he loses his virginity."

I grimace. "Stop. You're making it worse." I sit up on the bed and fold my legs.

"So, have you decided yet?"

I close my eyes in annoyance. "Don't bring that up."

"Why not? You only have time until six today. If anything, you should be ready with your answer."

"Until six?" I frown at him.

"Yeah, he has a flight at seven or eight something. He'll check out at six." He shrugs.

I gasp. "And you're telling me this now!?"

"I didn't know that you didn't know."

"Oh God, thanks for stressing me out." I grumble as I start to pace back and forth in my room.

"Tara, relax."

"Don't tell me to relax!" I snap. "You're not in my place."

"You don't need to say yes!" He avers. I stop to glare at him. "Yes, saying yes makes so many things a lot easier. But it's not compulsory you agree. I'd rather you reject him than worry so much. If you don't want to marry him, don't. Nobody is forcing you."

"And what about Dad?"

"He's dead."

"He was murdered." I enunciate. "And the criminal needs to be behind the bars!"

"Marrying Shourya is not the only way. We'll think of something -"

"Why does it feel like then?" I ask tiredly. "Why does it feel like it's the only way?"

"You've decided." He states.

Confusion fills me.

"You've already made your decision. You just need to acknowledge it."

I bite my lower lip. Something churns inside my stomach. I sit down to take a breather. Arush comes over and kneels in front of me. "Calm down and think carefully. You still have a few hours. Don't rush."

I nod softly.

Patting my knee in assurance, he walks out of the room and closes the door slowly after him, as if to not make a noise that'll startle me. I drop back on the bed, my hair sprawled around like a halo. I exhale deeply.

At three, Janet lets herself inside my room. I throw her a smile over my course book. She sits at the corner of the bed, smiling back awkwardly, curling a random strand she found around her index finger.

"Do you have something to say?" I inquire.

"Uhm," she hesitates. "I know you've your shit to handle, which should be the priority right now, but I've something to share."

I nod in encouragement, though I already know what she wants to tell me.

"Ayush and I had sex." She admits softly, her cheeks tinting pink.

I nod again.

"That's it?" She frowns at me. "You're not going freak out? Because I am. I'm freaking the hell out."

"About time, I guess?" I repeat Arush's words. "It had to happen someday."

"No, you don't understand." She shakes her head. "It was not like a moment of weakness or something. He brought up another girl in front of me and I lost it. I just wanted her to be out of his head. So, I kissed him. And it escalated so fast we were doing it the third time before I could even realise it."

My brows shoot upward in surprise.

TMI.

"I was jealous." She says, eyes wide in panic. "I've never been jealous. Oh, God, I made a mistake. Oh, shit." She cups her face.

"Hey," I put my book away and scoot closer. "It's okay. You both like each other."

"I think of him as my friend!" She says firmly.

"Right, and we all want to fuck our guy friend everytime he mentions another girl. Stop with the bullshit, Janet." I snort.

She shakes her head. "No, no, this is wrong."

"Why would it be wrong?"

"I cannot do this. I can't lose him for a momentary attraction. He matters to me. I can't ruin it." She gets up from the bed and walks out of the room, still mumbling something to herself under her breath. I sigh in defeat.

I wouldn't call her thoughtless. She used to believe her parents were the ideal couple, and it all shattered when she found out her father was cheating. And now the family has fallen apart. Their broken relationship has scarred her to ever consider any lingering feeling towards another man as more than attraction. Her mother is not even talking to her. She's afraid to commit.

I glance at the wall clock and swear under my breath reading the time. It's already five o clock. Shit. I need to hurry up. I've wasted enough time loitering around the topic. It's time I address the elephant in the room.

Grabbing my car keys from the hook, I put on my beige double breasted trench coat and tie the knot, picking my tote bag and slipping my phone inside it before exiting the room.

"I'm heading out to grab some notes from my classmate's house." I announce to the men in the living room.

"How long until you return?" Vivaan looks up from his laptop. Yuvraaj glances nonchalantly towards me, wordlessly including himself in the conversation.

"Eight?" I shrug. "Bye." I pull the door close and enter the elevator. I didn't even tie up my hair. Geez, way too impatient, Tara.

The elevator opens directly in the underground parking lot. I walk up to my car and slide inside, closing the door before I buckle in. Typing the hotel address in the gps, I pull out of the basement.

The drive lasts max forty minutes. I stop my car in the hotel porch and drop the keys in the hands of the valet, reading the room number on the back of the card.

201.

The elevator drops me off at the sixth floor. I walk out, reading the room numbers as I make my way down the hallway.

198.

199.

200.

I stop. "201."

Before I can knock, the door opens and he stands frozen in his spot. His eyes, bare as night, pitch black, stare back at me in surprise. My gaze darts to the suitcase in his hand and I sigh in relief. Thank God, I made it in time. "Come inside. We need to talk." I let myself inside his room and hear him inhale a deep breath as I brush past him.

Dropping his luggage at the doorstep, he closes the door and follows me inside.

I stop in the living room and turn around to face him. "My answer is yes."

He bites his lower lip to curb the triumphant smile. My hands automatically fist in anger.

"But I've a few conditions."

He nods and motions his hand towards the sofa behind us. "Let's sit down first,"

Eek! I'm excited.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Don't forget to vote and comment. Makes my day.