His monologue and Their Proximity

Everyone could barely finish their kulfi after the shock given by Anirudh.

Even Bondita and Batuk left their kulfi on their plate. So, shocked they were at his sudden decision.

Only Anirudh had finished his dinner and dessert completely. It was as if he didn't give a damn about their mental state. Or maybe, he was simply relieved after revealing his plans to his family.

"Dada, how could you digest your food after ruining my appetite?-Batuk's question stunned the young occupants of the table as all the elders had silently left to their rooms still coming to terms with his announcement. While Anirudh frowned,

"Speak clearly Batuk, I don't have anything to do with your food or appetite"-Anirudh was super irritated with his family today.

First his stupid Kaka and now his entire family was hell bent on ruining his beautiful memories of his first 'Date' with Bondita. And Bondita looked as if she was royally pissed off as well at him.

Tired with seeing Anirudh's argument, Bondita quickly went to the kitchen to help koyeli to finish cleaning it up. And missed seeing her husband's declaration regarding their life.

Anirudh was trying to control himself,when Somnath spoke up this time,

"Dada, actually you are behaving a little differently. Even Kaka is not forcing you to share a room with Boudi and constantly asking you for grandchildren or your marital life. Then, why are you insisting so much on it?"-Somnath's diplomatic way of asking the question made Anirudh realise that, though his admiration for Bondita was nothing new to him. His reluctance of showing it off made his family apprehensive of his care towards Bondita.

Anirudh knew, he had to step up his game and show his dramatic family and little angel how much love does he hold for her.

"Somnath, I am your older brother. I know what I am doing. I know you are worried about Bondita. But I am not a monster. She is my wife"-his firm words made Somnath nod at him.

"Desperate dada, always thinking of ways to be closer to Boudi. Well, at least Kaka would be happy about them once he is out of his shock"-Somnath thought with a sly grin on his face.

On the other hand, Batuk was a little sad, as he always got uninterrupted time with Bondita to study as well as gossip in her room, all the while munching on their favourite snacks hiding from Anirudh and Somnath.

But now, due to his Dada moving in with her; he was afraid that his Boudi would forget him and only focus on his dada.

"And after their babies would come, maybe they wouldn't even remember his name"-he thought with a little pout.

"Batuk, here is your chocolate milk. Finish it right now"-Batuk was startled, when Bondita spoke from behind him. Therefore, successfully dragging him away from his jealous thoughts.

"Boudi, how could you scare me like this"-he said with a hand in his heart. So, scared he was.

Just as Bondita was about to reply to him; Anirudh spoke up,

"Bondita, get me a cup of coffee in the study. I want to have a important talk with you "-she simply nodded at him, while Batuk pouted.

"Dada is already occupying all of Boudi's time"-he thought sadly while he watched Anirudh walk into the study.

Bondita went to the kitchen to make his coffee. As she was busy in stirring the coffee, she tried to understand the events of the last few days.

Her Patibabu was behaving in a typical husband like way. He was caring for her even more than before. Giving her gifts, caressing her feet and even taking her out on a date, kissing her hand. He is doing everything that the heroes in Amrit's British novels used to do for the heroines.

When, Bondita used to read the novels from Amrit's secret stash, she used to fantasize about the characters.

Often unwillingly, her Patibabu's face always used to come in front of her eyes, whenever she used to place herself in the place of the female lead. It was always his face that used to mirror hers.

"What are you doing Patibabu? Why are you making me angry at you and myself? But No matter what it takes, I'll not share a room with you"-she thought determinedly, while wiping her tears and went to the study to give him his coffee.

Anirudh was waiting for Bondita in his study. He knew, she is terribly upset with him. He imagined her shouting at him all the while, putting her hands on her hips like her younger days.

He felt his lips stretch unknowingly as soon as he imagined that. Honestly he didn't want to announce it this way without speaking with her first.

But maybe, he wished to see her fighting with him without any restrain. He wanted her to shout at him. Let her emotions out. That's why he did it unintentionally.

He wanted to see her dark black kohl rimmed eyes spitting fire on him as she spoke to him. He wanted to see her chest heaving when she would scream at him. He wanted to kiss her forehead to calm her down from her anger.

Maybe, he even wanted to hold her tightly in his arms all the while smelling her hair and identifying what was the secret ingredient of her shampoo.

He wanted to kiss the pout of her pink lips, when she would get tired of speaking or fighting with him. Most of all, he just wanted to be with his Bondita.

"Honestly Anirudh, you are becoming a pervert in Bondita's love"-he blushed to himself.

He always admired Bondita's courage and her love for everyone. The way he always felt for his "Responsibility" was not something he even accepted himself. He hated himself for thinking of her like a wife. When she was so young.

As Bondita was growing up, all his thoughts were filled with her. The little girl of his was becoming the reason of his restless dreams.

And Anirudh after Bondita turning 15, nearly killed himself with remorse for feeling anything towards his 'Responsibility'.

It was only when he had met with his university friend Salim in Kolkata for a case, that he had finally accepted his love for Bondita.

Salim had listened to his words and frankly told him that "He was in love with his wife", Anirudh had been baffled by those words of his friend.

Feeling anything for someone so young made him disgusted. He didn't think that there was any difference between him and a pedophile.

But it was Salim's words that again saved him, "Babu Moshai, love is not only about being physically or sexually attracted to someone. You love Bhabhi Jaan for who she is. Not because of what she looks like. You don't feel those urges for her yet. It is not a sin that you are committing. You worship her for being so much attuned to your own self. Then how can your love be wrong! It's not a crime to love your own wife. I am not advising you to have a typical husband and wife relationship with her. But I would suggest you to make efforts. If she is destined to forever remain with you, then shouldn't she at least get a clue of what you feel for her? Try to show your love for her slowly. Otherwise, what if she grows up to believe that you don't consider her as your wife. Give her subtle hints of your feelings for the sake of your beautiful future. Otherwise, what if her attraction turns to someone else?"-his long speech had given Anirudh the kick he had needed. And he had finally accepted his love that he was so scared to even utter loudly.

All the while Anirudh was murmuring to himself, "The attraction game has already started. Not from her side but from the side of those stupid boys in her school".

Anirudh in those two months in Kolkata had finally came to terms with his attraction for Manorama and love for Bondita. What he had felt for Manorama was never more than a simple attraction due to her bravery. His reasons for marrying her had started to feel stupid even to himself.

There were days, he wanted to kill himself, for taking that step. His self hatred made him destructive. There was also a day in Kolkata, when he wanted to hang himself in his depression, when he remembered that phrase and the hurt he had inflicted on Bondita. But the only thing that had stopped him then was the thought of his Bondita. He knew, the society would not let her live in his absence. They would rip her apart with their orthodox mentality as well as archaic ways and rules.

While, he trusted his family completely in her matter, he didn't trust the society members to not try to perform 'Sati' with her forcibly.

He would always in the end, remember Manorama as a friend with whom he was briefly attracted to. But he also wished that, this friendship didn't came at the cost of his shattered relationship with Bondita.

He was slightly relived at her exit from his life by her demise. Because the pain and determination for seeking separation he had seen in Bondita's eyes would have come true if not for her exit.

He felt that he was a monster, when he thought like that. But the darker version of him, would always stop him from berating himself over feeling like that.

He had thought Bondita's pain maybe had reduced in the throes of her teenage but he had no idea it had multiplied because she had never let it out at all.

His trance broke when he heard the knock on his study door.

"Come in, Bondita"-he said with a grin on his face but it faded away when he saw her grim face.

"Patibabu, here is your coffee that you had asked for"-her words were spoken in a monotonous way. And it made Anirudh angry. To see her behaving so restrained with him, her husband.

"Bondita, are you okay dear?"-his question made her scoff at him. After taking such a big decision, he is asking this! Bondita thought while getting even more angry.

"I need to talk to you, Patibabu"- was her only reply to him.

"Sit down Bondita and tell me"-Anirudh didn't wait for her to reply and pulled an unsuspecting Bondita on to the couch with him. She was sitting quite close to him and her sudden proximity made him blush and gave rise to the goosebumps in his body.

All the while, Bondita was astonished at his actions. His closeness have given rise to the feelings, she had buried successfully in her heart. She couldn't let him feel her rising heartbeat, she thought and schooled her features ready for an argument.

"Patibabu, how could you decide something like us sharing the same room without consulting me?"-her question made Anirudh smirk.

"So, I was right, she is angry"-Anirudh thought with a smile.

"You had told me, you'll always take decisions regarding us with my agreement. Then, how could you decide about it all by yourself?"-Bondita had stood up during her argument with him. Unknowingly, her volume had risen a little, her chest was rising and falling giving rise to wretched thoughts in Anirudh.

"I am sorry Bondita. But I have my reasons"-was his outward reply. All the while thinking to himself,

"I can't bear the distance that you are putting between us anymore my love, i am being selfish for the first time in my life Bondita. But maybe my selfishness would bring us closer than ever"-Anirudh thought with a little selfishness in him for the first time in a long while.

"Patibabu, are you even listening to me, what is wrong with you?"- Bondita asked him while shaking his shoulders a little bit as she saw him distracted.

"I am fine, Bondita. Listen, do you trust me"-he asked her a little seriously schooling his features.

"No"-was her instant reply. Anirudh's eyes had widen comically at her words.

"His Bondita didn't trust him. She didn't trust him"-a part of Anirudh was shattered listening to her blunt words.

Bondita saw the expression in his face and immediately tackled the situation.

"Patibabu, how can I trust you when these days you are behaving a little weirdly with everyone including me. You have not taken my suggestion also na before talking to kakasasur ji. That's why I said 'no'. Please don't start overthinking"-Bondita said all this to make Anirudh not overthink about her words.

All the while, thinking to herself, "Patibabu, I don't trust you at all"-how can I? when you have broken it so brutally?"

Anirudh on the other hand, didn't feel satisfied with Bondita's answer. He was constantly looking at her face and trying to decipher if she was lying or not.

"One day Bondita, I will ask the same question and you'll say yes"-was the only thought Anirudh could muster.

"Patibabu, I was thinking maybe, we shouldn't stay in same rooms. I mean, both of our space will be lessened if we stay together. And I am quite messy you see, you will get irritated and there will not be enough space for you to..." Her words remain unfinished as Anirudh puts his finger of her lips. She gets stunned at the first touch of his. She felt herself tremble at his deed.

"Bondita, every couple face the same thing. I know we are very different from each other in our daily habits but it will not change; what we are for each other right! We will face problems by sharing the same space but I believe it will make us stronger and it will also give us the opportunity to know each other better. So 'My Darling', get rid of these baseless fear of yours."-Anirudh's words didn't calm Bondita, on the contrary it only made her shudder in feared anticipation of them staying together in the same room.

"But still Patibabu, I don't want you to do this in any pressure. I know, you hate coming under any compulsion. I am fine with our living arrangements. Patibabu, if kakasasur ji is pressuring you then I will talk to him. But you don't need to force yourself.."-her words remain incomplete as Anirudh pulls her by her wrist close to him.

He was terribly angry at this moment. Maybe, Salim was right and he didn't give her enough hints of his wishes. He felt angry at himself for remaining so vague regarding their marital life.

"Bondita, do I look like I can be forced at all. This is going to be the last time I am telling you this, we are going to be sharing the same space from now on. And no one has forced me to do this. Do you understand!"-Bondita didn't believe his words but his sudden close proximity made her take deep breaths to calm herself.

She felt like her heart would burst out of her body. His closeness made her want to just lose herself in this divine feeling. But, remembering their situation, she suddenly composed herself. And detached her wrist from his hold forcibly.

"Patibabu... I"-Anirudh didn't let her finish her words and just hugged her tightly without any indication all of a sudden.

She nearly stopped breathing but she didn't dare to make any movement for she feared his next move.

But Anirudh felt like he was in heaven, hugging her gave him a peace, he didn't know he was seeking. He felt like a wanderer who was lost in a desert, but suddenly found a river of immortality to quench his thirst for everything in life.

Her curves, her scent and her tall height made it incredibly beautiful and sensual to hug her. He wanted to remain in this position forever with her without an ounce of gap between them.

He never wanted to let her go away from him. At this moment, he understood the depth and intensity of his feelings for Bondita.

There was nothing carnal about his love towards her. It was all about the 'Sukoon' (peace) he found in her always.

He slowly detached himself from her realising the intensity of their position. But before he could say anything, his Kaka had called Bondita,

"Bahu, come to the living room, I need to discuss this month's household expenses with you"-Anirudh cursed his Kaka internally. He was about to stop Bondita; when she ran away from him, before he could even realize it.

As Bondita ran away from the study Anirudh put his left hand on his heart and sighed with a blissful smile on his face without giving a damn about who was watching his actions.

Unknown to him that, his little brother Batuk had saw their entire encounter and pouted as he thought now both his Dada and Boudi will stop paying attention to him because of their 'Romantic Escapades'.

Meanwhile, Bondita ran away from the study and quickly schooled her features to hide her blush and helped Trilochon.

All the while, feeling goosebumps erupting in her body remembering the proximity she shared with him.

That night, Anirudh slept with a blissful smile on his face. While, Bondita spent a sleepless night worrying about their closeness and upcoming time she would be forced to spend together with him.

***********************
I had planned to write a fierce argument between Anirudh and Bondita. But I don't know how I ended up writing my first ever romantic scene along with Anirudh's flashback of love realisation. I don't have any experience writing romance at all to be honest.

How was the chapter?
Do let me know if the romantic scene was good...