Katarina walked slowly up the steps to her neighbor's porch. The cheerful white curtains of the living room greeted her as they fluttered in the breeze, which was coming through the open windows. She didn't really feel as though she could interact with anyone today, but something about Mrs. Trenton's story made her want to know more. How could a woman who went through what Mrs. Trenton had be so positive? And how could she be a Christian now when she behaved the way she had as a teenager? Katarina simply didn't understand it. That in and of itself compelled her to search out her neighbor to hear more of her story on a Saturday afternoon.

For a long moment, she hesitated on the front door step, unsure if she should ring the bell. This is ridiculous. I'm scared of ringing a bell and talking to an elderly lady who's been nothing but kind! Sucking in a breath, she reached out and pressed the button beside the door. The stringent sound of the bell buzzing seemed at odds with the still, peaceful environment that the house exuded. She resisted the urge to wince.

The front door swung open, and Mrs. Trenton smiled at her cheerfully. "Come on in, Kat. I have some coffee brewed if you'd like some."

Coffee sounded wonderful. Felix had spent all day lounging about the house; he usually took off on Saturdays and came home late with the smell of alcohol clinging to him and an angry fire in his usually distant eyes. While it was nice to know he wouldn't come home drunk tonight, it had been draining because she had felt on edge and fidgety all day as she tried to decide how to respond to his presence.

"I would love some if it's not too much to ask," Kat said, smiling weakly.

Mrs. Trenton gave her a once over as she ushered Kat into the house. "Dear me, what's the matter? You look drained, Kat. What happened?"

Kat shook her head with a sigh as she pulled off her shoes and left them by the door. "Felix stayed home today; he never does that anymore, and it's had me on edge all day."

"Well, that'll do it, I suppose," Mrs. Trenton mumbled. "But why didn't you try to spend some time with him or explain how you were feeling."

"We aren't close anymore. I'm not sure that he necessarily hates me, but he's certainly bitter towards me."

"But why?" Mrs. Trenton turned a perplexed look to her.

"Because I lost the baby." Kat swallowed back the anguish that was making her throat constrict. "He blames me, saying that if I'd just done what the doctor said a bit more carefully, I never would've lost her."

"Oh, Kat... You don't really believe that about the situation, do you?" Mrs. Trenton asked.

"What else am I supposed to believe? I know I didn't take it as easy as I should've once I found out the baby was in a weakened state." Kat looked away and tucked her fingers into the front pockets of her jeans. "You'd believe it too if you were in my position."

"Maybe, once upon a time, I would've," Mrs. Trenton agreed.

"But not now?" Kat asked, eyes widening as she looked back to Mrs. Trenton.

"Not now," Mrs. Trenton agreed.

"Why not?"

"Well, it all ties into the next part of my story. Would you like to settle down in the living room? I'll get the coffee and bring it in. What do you like in your coffee?"

"Just black, please." Kat smiled as she followed Mrs. Trenton into the living room.

"Make yourself at home, then, and I'll be right back."

Kat settled down on the velvety soft sofa and curled up. The warmth of the house and the ray of sunshine that was drenching her in light made her feel safer than she had in quite some time. She shut her eyes for a moment and let herself imagine what it would be like if she could go back in time to the point where she and Felix had been happy together. If only things worked that way...

"Here you are." Mrs. Trenton's voice cut into her reverie.

Kat opened her eyes to see a steaming mug of coffee in front of her on the living room table. Smiling, she picked it up and took a sip, waiting for Mrs. Trenton to begin her story.

Mrs. Trenton settled into the easy chair across from Kat and sipped her own coffee for a few moments. Then, with a contented sigh, she said, "Now, where was I before?" She thought for a moment. "Oh, yes. Why didn't I get an abortion? Well, I was going to. My parents, as I mentioned yesterday, weren't Christians and they encouraged me to get an abortion. The hospital near us during my teenage years didn't offer abortions; the state and federal government didn't require it yet. However, there was a licensed clinic near me, so I went there. This clinic was staffed mostly by Christians, though the owners weren't religious. The clinic wasn't specifically an abortion clinic, but they helped young girls in my situation, and if the girls were adamant about getting an abortion, then the director would refer them to others who could help. I'll never forget the day I walked in for my first appointment.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" Felicity's mom asked.

Felicity shook her head, blushing. "I'll be okay, mom. I'm just going to get a checkup and get information. When I actually go for the abortion, you can come. But I got myself into this mess, so I should be responsible for it."

Her mom smiled. "I'm glad you're taking such a responsible outlook on the situation, 'Lis."

Felicity smiled at her mom weakly and hopped out of the car. Trying to look confident, she strode into the clinic and walked up to the receptionist's desk. She expected the receptionist to look at her in shock or disgust, and she was ready to defend herself.

But the woman simply smiled and greeted her politely. "Hi, can I help you?"

Felicity nodded, suddenly feeling very uncertain. "I... Umm... I'm pregnant. I need an abortion."

The woman smiled sympathetically. "Well, if you'd like to fill out some paperwork and wait for just a bit, I can get someone to talk to you today."

Eagerly, the teenager took the paperwork the receptionist offered and found a place to sit in the empty waiting room. She shakily filled out the forms. It almost seemed an eternity to her as she filled them out, handed them back to the nice receptionist, and sat back down.

Finally, after twenty minutes of waiting, a younger woman came out and called her name. Felicity stood and walked to her, biting her lip. Will she judge me? It can't be normal for girls my age to be in this situation. I certainly don't know anyone who's been pregnant at my age.

The woman smiled sweetly at her. "Hi, Felicity. I hear you need to speak to someone about an abortion?"

Felicity nodded.

"Well, why don't you come have a seat in my office, and we'll talk about it."

Mrs. Trenton stopped recounting the story to finish off her coffee.

Kat was on the edge of the sofa, enthralled by the story. This was something she could relate to. She could understand the fear and insecurity that a young girl felt when she found out she was pregnant for the first time. To make matters worse, of course, Mrs. Trenton hadn't even been married. At least she'd been married and had Felix, part of the time anyway. "So what did she say? Why didn't you go through with the abortion?" Kat pressed, eager to find out what had stopped Mrs. Trenton from doing what would seem the most logical thing to do.

"She explained to me that before I had an abortion, I needed to understand something important. My baby was a human being. It might not be fully formed in my womb yet, but it was still a human being just like me. She told me, 'Felicity, that baby is precious, and before you destroy it, think about the fact that doing so is destroying a precious life. If you don't want to raise it, that's fine. But don't kill it or punish it for your inability to cope. No one is blaming you for not being able to cope with the results of your choice. You've made it clear you know you did the wrong thing, but now you've got to deal with your decision. Will you really make your unborn child take responsibility for your action by getting rid of it simply because you don't want it?'"

"Wow," Kat said. "Isn't that a bit harsh?"

"Maybe for someone else. But I think that woman realized that I needed to know exactly what I was doing. If she hadn't been blunt with me, I probably would've carried through with the abortion. But when she told me that the baby was human too and deserved to live and make their own choices, I broke down in tears. I couldn't take the baby's life when I thought about it like that."

"How did your mom respond?" Kat asked, setting her empty cup down on the coffee table.

"Not too well, I'm afraid...

"Mom?" Felicity got into the car, unable to meet her mother's gaze.

Her eyes were still red from crying, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. She ducked her head, letting her long hair cover her face, hiding her flushed cheeks and teary eyes from her mother.

"What's wrong?" Her mother reached out and brushed Felicity's hair back, tucking it behind her ear. "Felicity, what's the matter?"

"I can't do it..."

"Can't do what? Take care of the baby? We know that. That's why you're here."

"No, I can't get an abortion."

"What? You mean they won't give you one?" Her brows drew together in irritation as Felicity looked up abruptly.

Felicity shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "No," she said miserably. "They'll give me one. But I can't d-do it. I c-can't kill the baby."

"You're not killing a baby, dear," her mother responded gently. "It's just a bunch of cells. It hasn't become a baby yet. There's nothing wrong with aborting it."

"Mom, stop..." Felicity said. "It is a baby. If you don't consider it a baby now, then when does it become a baby? When does it become fully human to you? The baby deserves a choice just like I have choices. Would you have chosen to abort me if I'd been conceived outside of marriage?"

Her mother looked taken aback. "Well... I mean... No, of course not."

"You wouldn't do it now, knowing who I would become and knowing how much we'd love each other. But if you didn't know that, you would've. That's exactly what you're asking me to do. And I can't do it. I can't take another human being's life, no matter how small, away from them."

"Why don't you just sleep on this and think about it. We'll discuss it with your father. I think maybe you're just confused. I don't know what the clinic told you, but they're either lying or misinformed, Felicity." Her mother pulled out of the parking space and headed for the road.

Felicity looked down at her lap and refused to say anything. I won't do it. It doesn't matter what she says, I won't.

"So... Did your dad support you?"

"No, he didn't. They were going to attempt to force me into it, but then my brother stood up for me. I never expected him to do so. I figured he'd hate me after what I'd done, and I was certain that he would agree with my parents."

"Why did he stand up for you?"

"Well, it turns out that my brother had gotten around some Christian friends at school. He hadn't said anything to my parents, but he was seriously considering what they were telling him. The topic of abortion had somehow come up in the group, and after hearing what they had to say about it, he actually agreed with what the clinic lady told me. He told me later that he was proud of me for taking a stand and stepping into the responsibility for my action instead of trying to blame others and get rid of the situation caused by my poor choices."

"What did your parents do then?"

"He talked to them, and he got them to reconsider. Eventually, they grudgingly agreed that it was my choice, and they would stand by me no matter what I decided."

"So what was it like being pregnant at that age?" Kat asked, frowning. "I mean, I'm fairly young, and I know what it's like, but I wasn't on my own without my baby's father around."

Mrs. Trenton laughed. "To be honest, for an eighteen-year-old with high hopes and dreams, it was a nightmare. But I kept remembering what the lady at the clinic said, and I never could bring myself to hate my unborn child for what I was going through. If anything, I wanted most of all to be sure that the baby never made the same mistakes I had."

"So..." Kat paused, wondering if she really wanted to know; deciding that she did, she continued. "With all that, why turn to God?"

"I didn't. Not at first. In fact, I didn't really know anything about God at that point. The lady at the clinic had mentioned Him, and I sort of ignored her. For me, I was content to push through the pain I'd brought on myself through my foolish choice, and I didn't see a need for a God, let alone a Savior."

"When did that change?" Kat inquired. "Because I frankly don't understand why it would..."

"I turned to Him about seven months into the pregnancy. The baby had been healthy and doing great according to my doctors all through the prior months. But something went wrong, and I went into premature labor. That's not uncommon with teenage mothers, honestly. Unfortunately, it was just too early. The baby didn't make it, and I barely did."

Sitting back on the sofa, Kat absorbed that information. She couldn't believe that all that had happened to this woman. How can she still believe in God after all that? Why would she ever turn to God if he could allow this? "And you turned to God because of this?"

"Well, yes. Not immediately, but I did." Mrs. Trenton shook her head. "I'll admit, I was angry. I didn't know who to be angry at, but after all I'd gone through, I wanted to know why I'd lost my baby. By that time, I'd stopped considering giving the baby up; I'd become attached to the unborn child, and I wanted to raise her. My parents had finally come around to the idea that I was pregnant, and they were willing to help me if I wanted to keep the baby. But now I'd lost him, and I was devastated. My councilor at school didn't offer much help. She, like many others, didn't treat me with kindness or love; instead, she drove me further into depression by an underlying attitude of disdain."

"Alright... You have my interest," Kat responded quietly. "How did you come to God through this?"

"Well, the only people who supported me at all were my brother's Christian friends. One of the girls he knew came along side me and helped. She never once tried to shove religion down my throat. No, unlike most Christians I'd met, she simply loved and accepted me. I remember that she was honest with me about her beliefs, the fact that we were both just as in need of a Savior, and that she shared her love for Jesus through the way she lived. It stood out in our high school. Not many of the kids lived like she did. Even though others in school mocked her, she still stood firm on her faith. They called her names, laughed, and generally treated her like she was worthless because she took a stand. Despite that, she still stuck to her beliefs. Few Christians in today's world reach the lost like she did. And she reached me because she simply lived out what she believed instead of talking and never living it."

"I'm afraid I still don't understand how this brought you to God..."

"Well, through the months after losing my child, I was searching for any explanation as to why," Mrs. Trenton explained, glancing outside.

Kat also glanced outside and then at her watch. Startled, she saw she'd been here for a few hours. Embarrassed, she cleared her throat. "Mrs. Trenton, I really should get going. I'd love to hear more, but... I have chores at home and errands to run."

"Of course, dear..." Mrs. Trenton smiled and got up to collect the empty coffee cups. "If you want to hear more, feel free to drop by. I don't get out much anymore thanks to my arthritis and the fact that everything's so far away now. Anytime you see the lights on, feel free to drop by!"

"Thanks, Mrs. Trenton," Kat said, smiling.

She really is a nice old lady. I'm glad I got to meet her, Kat thought as she walked with Mrs. Trenton to the door of the airy, welcoming house.

"It's not a problem. I enjoy having someone to talk to," the elderly lady said with a laugh. Her eyes twinkled from amidst the wrinkles of age surrounding them.

Kat laughed too. "I'm sure it gets lonely living all the way out here when you're not used to it."

"It can, but I'm happy here. I've long since learned that circumstances do not have the power to steal happiness from me. I know the way my story will ultimately end; the only thing I have to do is spend the middle of it serving God as best I can."

"Well..." Kat cleared her throat. "That's great, I guess..."

Mrs. Trenton grinned. "I'll see you soon, Kat."

Kat nodded. "Yeah, I'll drop by sometime soon. Feel free to stop by my house too. I'm usually home by five, and I'm almost always home on weekends."

"I'll keep that in mind, dear. You have a good day, now!"

Kat stepped outside into the afternoon sunshine, smiling. "You too, Mrs. Trenton."

As Kat walked back to her house, hands in pockets, she could only think one thing. How is she so content? I wish I could be so happy and peaceful... Nothing in my life is working out, and I could use contentment right about now...

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