❝O23❞

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⊶bakugou's  point of view⊷

i fucking hate myself.

i fucking hate myself for being so weak.

it's all my fault.

all might have lost his power and it was all because of me!

i didn't know how to feel right now, because i felt like banging my head on the wall, to deny that this is the fact. the fact that all might had lost his powers, the symbol of peace was no more.

i sat on my bed and glanced over the window, my parents were going out to meet aizawa sensei.

the old hag had made some dinner for me but i didn't feel like eating it. why am i the chosen one for being a villain?! i felt like shit right now, i may be arrogant but the dream of becoming the number one hero will never change, why was it so hard to let people understand? even those fuckers thought that i might be joining their league.

come on, you guys are freaks.

i know it's hard to let them understand my own feelings, and i don't care.

are you sure you don't care?

yes, i don't.

but you have feelings too, stop pushing people away.

i wanted to become strong, to protect those people around me, especially her. i can't back down, i won't cry, i won't-

but i have already cried, i feel like calling shitty hair but i was scared of disturbing him. he called me just now and i ignored his phone call, he doesn't call back anymore. maybe he thinks that i need some time to figure out things; i guess.

suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"tch, who is that?!" i quickly wiped off my tears and opened the door.

and i saw my crush was standing there, waving at me.

i froze, i didn't know why she knows where i stayed, must be kirishima-

"bakugou! are you okay?! can you let me in?!"

no, bakugou. if she cares for you, you will fall in love with her deeper-

"go away." i said coldly.

she sighed and frowned, obviously {Name} was hurt.

she fucking teleported in front of me and hugged me tightly, she even cried on my chest. i started to tear up but i quickly wiped away those tears, i can't let her see my vulnerable side.

even though she saw it many times already.

those hugs that i gave her was enough to prove that i was only soft for her, and only fucking for her.

but she didn't even like you back, stop this bakugou. you even hugged her and cared for her, but she just treats you as a friend.

it gets me more frustrated, to realize that {Name} cares for me, she deserved better, isn't she? i am weak and i am the one who caused all Might lost everything.

i didn't even realize that i have pushed her away, she just stood there and looked at me in disbelief. she bites her lip as tears started to flow down from her eyes, she was confused and yet angry; she didn't know why i was acting like this. ever since that she said that we're friends, i tried my best to keep a distance with her, but she kept coming back to me. i cared for her but she...it fucking hurts that she said we're only just friends. that's why i am so angry, why do i care about those petty things? i could just find another girl-

but she was the only one I liked;

"bakugou! why are you pushing me away again?! you have no idea how much i have worried about you! stupid asshole!" she yelled at me and i pretend to be ruthless, ignoring her and went inside my house.

"bakugou!!" she grabbed my wrist and forced me to turn back and looked at her, her eyes were red and her face was puffy...those lips...i kissed her when she was drunk...

i was in a fucking bad mood today, i didn't know how to not to be angry everyday. i tried to control myself but it didn't work, and yet those stupid thoughts kept running through my head was driving me crazy. yes, i pushed away the ones that cared for me was because i didn't like myself for being weak. it's so fucking pissed me off when people started to comfort me and gave me hugs, no fucking no-

but when it comes to her, it was different. i craved for her touch, her hugs, and her kisses. i just can't- the fact that she comforts me and cried on my chest, was because she cared for me like a fucking friend!

i pushed her hands away and stared at her coldly, "just fucking go away, you are fucking annoying, you know? look, i don't need your pity or your comfort, i am all good. leave now."

"baku-"

"i fucking say leave now, didn't i?" i accidentally used my quirk which makes her flinched slightly, now i fucking make things worst, great.

she thought i was going to attack her.

she gave a brittle laugh while wiping off her tears, "you know what? dickshit, i am so done with you. i just wanted to tell you something but i think it's fine now. stupid fucking asshole." she spat.

and she fucking vanished in front of me.

i stood there, my eyes started to tear up again. i don't know what to do, i can't help myself for being so angry. i clenched my fist tightly, i wanted to do something about it; my head hurts and my heart was numb, i can't take this anymore.

"fuck it." kirishima called me again and i picked up the phone.

"oi, shitty hair. you free now? just-just come to my house."

[💛]

after that fucking incident, everyone was forced to move in the dorms. i just don't fucking understand. it was just a fucking accident and because of me, U.A purposely build a dorm for us to live in.

fucking sucks.

i was sitting on my place with my earphones on, i didn't want to talk to people except for shitty hair. in these few weeks, the old hag texted me everyday to check on me, she was scared that i couldn't sleep and stayed up all night. u even make my parents worried, just what the hell am i doing?!

"bakugou, it's over. don't blame yourself anymore, okay?"

shitty hair patted my shoulder and i turned around and saw him standing beside me, i sighed and took out a blue pen, placing on my desk.

"class starts soon," I said.

i saw {Name} was chatting happily with round face and dunce face, i guess she was happy without me, right?

i didn't want it to become like this-

and then aizawa sensei came in, teaching about boring subjects again. i tried so fucking hard to take down notes but i just ended up watching at {Name}. she was listening and writing all the notes in her pastel purple notebook, she frowned when aizawa sensei was talking nonsense; and then she placed her chin on the desk, slowly drifting off to sleep.

i smiled, {Name} was cute, why am i pushing her away?

because i think that she just treats me as a friend? the possibility of her liking me back was zero? i really liked her but i was scared, i am not used to people comforting me, giving me hugs,

but,

i wanted {Name}...to hug me.

"{Name}! if you think my lesson is bored, you may leave the classroom and go back to your dorm and rest." aizawa sensei shouted {Name} and she quickly opened her eyes, smiling at him.

"hahahaha...sorry aizawa sensei."

he gives no fuck and continued to teach us, i looked at her again.

damn, she was cute.

[💛]

8:03 PM

fucking classmates, even shitty hair joins them to participate in this stupid contest.

it was just a fucking room, do we even need a contest of who was going to be the winner of having the most aesthetic/beautiful/minimal room? great, i am not going to fucking participate in this kind of stupid competition.

i headed towards my room and my stupid friends called out my name, "bakugou! don't you wanna play too?" tape guy asked me and i shook my head.

"this is stupid, i am not going to participate." i huffed.

when i get back to my room, i texted my mom because she asked me to chat with her everyday. it's fucking annoying but she was my old hag, i just can't say no.

old hag: have you eaten your dinner?

lord explosion murder: yea

no, i didn't eat my dinner. shitty hair asked me to eat with them at the common room but i had rejected his offer, it will be awkward if i saw {Name} too.

i took out my homework and started doing it, stupid maths, stupid history and fucking stupid subjects. i hate doing homework, i mean every student fucking hate it.

when i was solving the maths question, my stomach started to rumble.

"fuck."

i opened my drawer and took out some biscuits, well this was so fucking little-

*knock knock*

"tch." who is that? i am now fucking hungry and the question was hard, i am going to burn people with my quirk because they fucking interrupted me-

the person knocks twice.

"fuck! i am coming! stupid annoying bastard!" i opened the door and saw {Name} standing outside my room.

what the fuck- katsuki shit-

my face started to become red and i was nervous, she was holding something.

"what-"

"stupid asshole, you didn't eat your dinner right? why do you skip your dinner? you are so stubborn and annoying." {Name} talked very fast and quickly put the tupperware on the ground, and teleported to another place.

i was shocked, why would she still care for me?

i opened the tupperware, the food was spicy curry chicken with lots of chilies on it; fried egg and sausages; and also white rice.

what the fuck, {Name}. you are driving me crazy, you know?

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