hey i published this but im adding to the end so yeah :) also i just realized that the other two parts were sort of eddie's pov and this one is more focused on richie which i didnt even notice till now lmao but okay 

-

richie was wide awake at midnight. he sat next to his open window, listening to the music blasting in his ears with his eyes closed and the cold hair blowing into his face.

he was feeling really sad, yet grateful for his friends. especially one in particular: eddie. he was also feeling a little nervous. he really wanted to connect with one of his old friends, but things didn't leave off that great. they were a good friend though, and it was richie's fault that they stopped talking. 

richie used to have a good friend in middle school - one of his best friends, stan. they hung out all the time and told each other everything. however, stan wanted to experiment with his sexuality before richie had even thought about it.

"hey richie..?" stan asked, sitting criss-cross on the floor next to richie, leaning against richie's bed. he'd been wanting to ask something for a few weeks now and finally gained the courage to do so, however he felt like he could shit himself at any second. 

"yeah?" richie replied, not noticing stan's nervousness. the 12 year old boy looked up from the lego set he was building, looking into the other boy's brown eyes. stan ran his hand through his hair, brushing his dirty blonde curls back and gulping. 

"can i ask you something? it's okay if not.. please don't hate me." stan whispered quickly. richie reached his hand out and put it on stan's shoulder. 

"of course you can stan, what's up?" he asked, rubbing his shoulder. stan felt butterflies in his stomach and couldn't wait another second, he leaned forward and quickly pressed a kiss against richie's lips. the kiss only lasted a quick second before they pulled away slowly. richie didn't understand what just happened but for some reason he wanted to do it again. before stan could apologize, richie leaned in again and kissed him again, this one lasting a little longer. 

"um," stan said once they pulled away, not knowing what to say. "i'm sorry- i shouldn't have done that." 

"i don't really understand what's happening." richie replied bluntly, feeling suddenly very overwhelmed and confused. his emotions and feelings were all over the place and he was experiencing something new that he's never experienced before. he's never kissed anyone before, let alone a boy. 

"i- i think i like boys.. and i wanted to kiss you to know for sure, and.." stan said, "i like boys. im gay." 

richie didn't know how to feel. his mom and dad never said straight up how they feel about the lgbtq+ community, but they changed the topic when it came up and sometimes made disgusted faces when hearing or seeing gay people, so richie grew up thinking it was weird or gross too, even though it wasn't. 

"that's okay stan." richie replied. although richie had parents who acted the way they did towards the lgbtq+ community, richie knew deep down that it wasn't bad.. yet some part of him still felt disgusted with himself. 

richie didn't know why he didn't mind the kiss. why he leaned back into it and wanted to feel it again. after stan went home, richie unintentionally started talking to him less. richie really didn't mean to, and he didn't even notice until stan was pretty much completely out of his life, but richie had been so hung up on his own feelings and sexuality that he just didn't notice. stan, on the other hand, thought richie hated him. he thought richie found him disgusting. neither of them really got closure or left on a good note, and they haven't talked since that day, five years ago. 

richie really missed stan. he didn't know why, but he thought about stan a few weeks ago and hasn't been able to get him off his mind. he just missed being friends. they were great friends. richie needed to get it off his chest and talk to someone so he decided to text eddie. he felt really bad, it was three in the morning for eddie and he really didn't want to disturb him, but maybe he would read it in the morning when he woke up. 

richie: hey

richie sent the text and immediately regretted it, feeling guilty for some reason. he turned his music off and threw his phone on his bed, getting up from next to his window and going to the bathroom to wash his face. when he got back to his room, he checked his phone and surprisingly saw a text back from eddie already. 

eddie: hey rich:)

richie felt butterflies in his stomach and excitedly texted back. 

richie: how are you?

he cringed. this was one of his closest friends now, asking that question is just so awkward most of the time. he didn't really know how to get to what he wanted to say. 

eddie: im okayyy.. you?

richie: what are you doing up at 3 am?

eddie: can't sleep, why are you up?

richie: do you think we can facetime? if not it's okay 

eddie: yeah sure :)

soon after richie received that text, he got an incoming facetime call from eddie. he picked up and both their rooms were pitch black. they couldn't see eachother but richie didn't really mind. he laid down on his bed and plugged his phone in.

"hey" eddie said in a tired voice.

"hi" richie said awkwardly, cringing at himself once again for being so awkward. having a crush on your best friend is not fun. 

"so.. did you want to talk about something?" eddie asked, his voice quiet and soft. richie could hear a smile in eddie's voice, and richie blushed because he could tell how sleepy eddie was and it was adorable. 

"yeah actually.. there's been something that's been on my mind for a while and i need your advice eds." richie said, and then began to tell eddie about stan and everything that happened between them. richie giggled a few times in between explaining, simply because he felt uncomfortable, and eddie smiled, he felt himself dozing off a few times while listening to richie talk but he tried his best to stay awake. 

"so you want to contact him again, basically?" eddie asked quietly, richie could tell that he was tired but he couldn't get over how adorable he sounded. 

"yes. but he might hate me and it might make things ten times worse." 

"okay.. stop overthinking. i know it's hard, but this is going to bother you until you do something about it. you're losing sleep over this which isn't good. it won't hurt to talk to him. do you have any of his social medias?" eddie asked, his voice groggy. 

"i know his instagram- but we don't follow each other. he goes to a different school now." 

"that is kinda awkward.. is it just his name or is it something random?" eddie asked.

"it's his name."

"well that's fine then, if he asks how you found his instagram then you can say you looked up his name. if it was something random then it might be a little weird. what do you wanna say?" eddie asked, talking him through. 

"i dont- i don't even know where to start. i want to tell him i'm sorry and that it was my internalized homophobia and i didn't even realize what i was doing. i don't know, there's so much." richie said, his breathing picking up.

"hey, hey, deep breaths, you can do this." eddie said softly, both their screens still pitch black. richie let out an uncomfortable laugh and steadied his breathing.

"I'm so stupid, why am i so nervous?"

"you're not stupid. I'd be nervous too. it's okay. so i think you should say this: "hi stan, it's me richie.. i know this is probably weird and awkward and i know it's been years since we last talked but i just wanted to say sorry.. i know it's years late and i'm just sorry. i didn't even realize what i was doing until it was too late, i didn't mean to stop talking to you or anything. i've just been wondering how you're doing.." and then you can tell him about your sexuality too if you want, or whatever." eddie said, throwing him some ideas of what to say.

richie started typing a message in his notes first. he read it to eddie, eddie gave him some advice or what he should change, and they read it back and forth until it was perfect. 

"okay, are you going to send it now?" eddie asked. 

"eds, it's like 1:30 am.. i don't know" richie replied.

"i think you should do it now, because when you wake up, you're not going to want to anymore so it'll just keep bothering you. you've made it this far, just paste it and send it and exit out of the app." eddie explained. 

"edddssss, im scareeedddd," richie said, letting out nervous laughter. eddie giggled. 

"richie, it's okay, i can send it for you if you want."

richie thought about it for a few minutes and then laughed. 

"can you? i can't do this myself - actually, yes i can. yes i can. i can do this. just press the send button-" richie said, his hands sweating. he was so nervous. 

"you can do this richie, by the end of this, you'll either have him back as a friend, or maybe you won't but you'll have some closure. it's worth it, it's sorta a win-win. atleast if it doesn't go well, you don't have to see him in person. this is gonna bother you forever if you don't do something about it rich." eddie said. 

"okay okay, okay." richie said, taking a few deep breaths. then he finally sent the text, which was a long paragraph.

"i did it! i did it- oh my god. eddie i did it!! eddie!" richie cheered excitedly and eddie smiled widely.

"i'm proud of you rich." 

"thank you- i logged out of instagram. i cant see his response. i don't want to see his response. im scared. im gonna unsend it." 

"nooo richie, don't unsend it. he'll see if you unsend it anyway. leave it go." eddie giggled, his eyes burned from sleepiness but he didn't want to tell richie that. 

"can you log in maybe? and check to see if he reads it?" richie asked.

"yeah sure." eddie said, happy that richie trusted him enough to give him his instagram password. 

richie gave him his password and eddie logged in.

"he hasn't read it yet." eddie said.

"okay, okay. okay. okay that's fine. i'm not logging in until you tell me he read it though." 

after another hour of richie overthinking and eddie calming him down, richie finally chilled out and was ready to go to bed. 

"thank you so much eds.. seriously, i appreciate it, you do so much for me." 

eddie blushed, which luckily richie couldn't see.

"of course rich, that's what friends are for right?" eddie said tiredly, giggling and then letting out a loud yawn. he was feeling really sleep deprived now. he was getting ready to go to bed earlier, and just as he was about to fall asleep was when richie texted him, so he was pretty tired. 

"you sleepy eds?" richie asked, laying down on his bed on his back, his phone next to his head on his bed. 

"noooo, not at all. what gives you that - idea -" eddie said as he let out another loud yawn.

"you're so cute." richie mumbled and eddie blushed. eddie wished he could be with richie in person. he didn't want anything more than a hug from him. 

"no you." eddie said quietly, making richie burst out into laughter, jokingly telling eddie to shut up. once they calmed down, they both enjoyed the silence. this was the first time they were facetiming without playing a game together, they were just talking. eddie wanted to do this for a while. 

"i think i'll head to bed soon eds, and you should too. isn't it almost 5:30 over there eddie?" richie asked, feeling bad that he was responsible for ruining the poor boy's sleep schedule. 

"yeah, and what about it?"

"you should get to bed sweetie." richie giggled. sometimes they called eachother pet names like that in a sarcastic tone, as a joke. 

eddie didn't respond, struggling to stay awake. 

"can we- can we fall asleep together? on facetime?" eddie asked softly. richie's cheeks grew bright red and he smiled really wide. 

"of course eds. goodnight." richie smiled, getting comfortable under his covers.

"goodnight."

"i love you." richie said. 

"i love you too." eddie replied quietly, falling asleep right after. richie quickly fell asleep too, completely forgetting about the text message that he spent so long panicking over. 

-

richie woke up first the next morning, completely forgetting that he fell asleep on facetime with eddie and suddenly got worried that he talked or snored in his sleep. he yawned and looked down at his phone, seeing eddie still sleeping peacefully. this was the first time he saw eddie in the morning and he thought he looked adorable. he checked the time and it was 9 am for him, meaning it was 12 for eddie. 

richie laid in his bed and stared at his ceiling for about a half hour until eddie woke up.

"mornin' sleepy" richie laughed, looking at him and smiling. 

"hi," eddie whispered, his voice groggy. he stretched and rubbed his eyes, adjusting to the light and still waking up. 

"is your mom gonna get mad at you for sleeping in so late?"

"it's noon, it's summer - she'll get over it. she's at work right now i think." eddie said softly, still waking up. richie loved his morning voice. 

"that's true." richie said, yawning and staring at his ceiling. eddie went on pause, meaning he was checking other apps.

"rich, guess what?" eddie said.

"yeah?" richie responded gently.

"stan responded, a positive response." eddie said, going back on the facetime camera and smiling at richie. richie smiled and quickly redownloaded instagram. he opened the dm from stan and read it. 

stan: oh my god, hey richie. it's so nice to hear from you again. honestly, it's been five years now and i've gotten over it. i'd love to catch up again soon. i have a boyfriend now too :) he and i have been together for three years. how have you been? 

richie smiled and quickly responded, telling eddie how it was going. 

"i'm so glad it all worked out in the end for ya richie." eddie said.

"thank you eddie for helping me through it." richie said, looking at the camera, right at eddie. eddie moved away from the camera slowly and laughed.

"why do you always do that? do i make you nervous?" richie laughed.

"wouldn't you be nervous if you were talking to someone and they started staring at you out of nowhere?" eddie replied

"sorry eds, you're just too beautiful to take my eyes off." richie giggled. 

"shut the fuck up." eddie rolled his eyes but smiled, covering his face with his hands. 

"awww is eddie weddie blushing?? awww so cyuteeee" richie said in a baby voice, teasing him.

"you're so annoying." eddie smiled. 

"you put up with me though." richie replied. 

"whatever." eddie mumbled, looking at the camera, right at richie this time. 

"we should sleep call more often." richie confessed. "i feel like i slept better, but i might just be delusional." 

"we can.. i wouldn't mind." eddie smiled, laying down in his bed on his side, propping his phone up against his camera. 

they talked for a little while longer before deciding to hang up and move on with their day.