⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺
I want to be the only hand you ever need to hold.
. ✦ .

Jungkook

“No, come here,” my mother pulls me by my bicep and straightens my necktie, making me laugh softly through my nose. “You need to look good today.” She smiles at me, running her hand over the lapels of my jacket, attempting to perfect them.

“Do I look good now?” I ask her with a small grin, slightly tilting my head to one side.

“I think so.” My mother chuckles playfully, and I do the same.

I think I look passable even though my hair still looks a little unruly. Despite my attempts to make it look better by ruffling and fluffing it up, my mane’s stubbornness to look clumsy lingers.

“The graduation ceremony is over anyway.” I comment, and my mom twists her lips in disappointment.

“We still need to click some photos together. So look tidy until then,” saying so, she retrieves her phone from her purse, and we click a few selfies together.

My mother loves to click photos of even the simplest everyday things in life which others might take for granted. These include the pretty dew drops on the petals of the lilies in our garden, a flock of birds soaring in the sky, the last beams of sunlight before dusk, the scrawny gray kitten and its mother who sometimes show up in our backyard and so much more. She loves to capture images of just about everything, and it is one habit of hers that I have literally grown up with.

It’s also one of the things which brings her a lot of joy and satisfaction, and I love seeing the excitement on her face when she talks about the random photos she clicks everyday.

“Pretty good except for your messy hair.” She approves with a slight frown, inspecting the photos that she clicked just a while ago. “Can we leave now?” Her eyes lift to look at me.

“Uhm- eomma... I want to spend some time with my friends tonight.” I say, somehow growing a little shy and nervous all of a sudden.

It happens every time I lie to her, and the look she gives me when I do that makes me feel as if she can see right through me like I’m transparent.

“Oh… okay then.” She blinks her eyes, her expressions lined with the kind of blankness that shows up every time our plans don’t align.

I’m praying she shouldn’t ask me if that girl would be there as well because that would only mean I’m in for more lies tonight.

“Be back home before ten. Do you need money?” Thankfully, she doesn’t ask me anything yet as she fetches her purse and pulls out a few notes, thrusting them into my palm thereafter without waiting for my response.

“I wouldn’t need so much. Here,” I hand back some notes to her, but she pushes my hand back gently.

“Have it, Jungkookie. I know you haven’t gone out anywhere all year long. Today is a special day, so go and have a nice time. Do not think about the practical examinations and just have fun, okay?” Mom holds my jaw and playfully fluffs up my cheeks a bit.

“Thank you, eomma. Here, take this with you.” I hand her my certificate, and she carefully tucks it away inside her bag. “I’ll be back before ten. Let’s walk you to the bus stop now.” I place my hand at the small of her back and try to move, but she refuses my offer.

“I can go on my own. You go to your friends.” With that she waves to me and turns around, walking towards the bus stop thereafter.

The moment her back is to me, I pull out my phone to send Areum a message because I know she hasn’t left yet. But before I can do it, I hear the loud voices of Namjoon and Jin-Hyuk from behind me, and, turning around with the phone still in my hand, I see them approaching me with an excited, impatient jog.

They say nothing, but their grins are evil and their hands are behind their backs, and I immediately realize what’s about to happen. The dreaded water fight. My eyes go wide, and in one swift move, I pick up a sprint and begin running away from them, headed towards the school building.

The asynchronous footsteps behind me tell me that they’re fast approaching me, and before I could turn the corner of the hallway, I feel a splash of cold water on the back of my neck.

My steps grind to a halt, and I turn around to look at them, laughing and panting as I quickly catch a bottle that Namjoon threw to me.

“Let’s go!” Jin-Hyuk announces when I’m barely ready, and in the rush of the moment, I throw a large splash of water right across his chest; the wetness making its appearance like the slash of a sword.

However, before I know it, I hear and feel a slick splash right on the side of my face, making me squeeze my eyes shut and freeze still. The water rolls down the side of my neck, and the wetness of it grows over my chest. Passing a hand over my face, I wipe away the dripping water and open my eyes to look at my friends to identify the culprit. It was Namjoon, and he confirms it with his sinister laugh.

But they know it’s over for them when I clutch my bottle tighter because even though I hate this game, there’s never once that I’ve lost it. Turning around on their heels, they scurry away clumsily, their faces panicked and excited at the same time. I catch up with Namjoon in no time and clamp an arm around his neck, trapping him in a chokehold. Even though he’s a little taller, his reflexes aren’t quite up to my level.

Laughing, I empty the contents of my bottle right over his head even as he squirms and tries to escape, mid-fight dropping his half-emptied water bottle to the floor. When I release my hold around him, he stumbles forward and then turns around to look at me, his shirt drenched through and his hair clinging to his wet forehead.

Looking around, we both burst into laughter when we realize that Jin-Hyuk is not even in the vicinity.

“Such a chicken. Wait until I find him.” Namjoon chortles, his enthusiasm returning as he picks up his bottle from the floor and makes a dash down the hallway, knowing that Jin-Hyuk wouldn’t have gone too far.

I laugh, too, using the sleeve of my jacket to wipe away the remaining wetness from my face. I want to tell my friends before I leave, but since I’m left alone now, this is the right time for me to sneak away. They wouldn’t want me to go out with Areum tonight because they are already a little concerned that I don’t have an admission yet because of my practical exam, which happens next week. They also once noted that I need to be wary of her distracting me because she had nothing to worry about, having already secured an admission at one of the top universities.

However, I don’t agree with them, and I’m just not able to stop thinking about her. I like her a lot, and, tonight being a special night, I really want to spend it with her. It also marks a sad event because I’d no longer be able to come to school everyday just to see her.

Too many thoughts keep swarming my mind as I head the other way, taking the fire exit and stepping out of the building while pushing all my damp hair out of my forehead.

I quickly type a message to Areum.

Me:
Areum, where are you?

Me:
Can you meet me outside the library? I’ll be waiting there for you.

Just as I’m about to put my phone back into my pocket, I receive a reply from her, and I waste not a second in reading it.

Areum:
I’m at the bus stop

Areum:
But I can meet you

Me:
Oh... you left already?

My heart sinks a bit at that because I really wanted to go out with her tonight and have a meal or something. I know I should have told her earlier, but I really wanted it to be a surprise for her. Never imagined something like this could happen.

Me:
That’s okay, Areum. We can meet some other time.

Areum:
No, wait there. Near the library. I’ll be with you in some time.

Although I don’t want to trouble her by asking her to come back, I still don’t tell her not to do it because telling her that we could meet some other time was so half-hearted. I send her an ‘okay’ as I head to the library, and I keep scrolling through stuff on my phone while I wait for her.

After a lonely wait of around ten minutes, I finally see Areum walking towards the library, taking short but swift steps. The moment I see her, I rise from my seat and approach her with a smile.

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to wait.” Areum apologizes in a soft voice once we get closer.

“Hey, come on. I’m sorry you had to come back without spending time with your friends.” I apologize right back.

“You didn’t go out with your friends?” She asks me, her eyes moving around and scanning our surroundings which are pretty much empty.

“I wanted to go out with you.”

“We’re even then.” Areum notes. “Can we leave now?” A small smile that forms on her lips grows into a wider grin when I quickly agree.

“You don’t want to know where we’re going?” I quiz her mid-walk to the bus stop, and she turns her head to look at me.

“Do you want to tell me? Or is it a surprise?” She questions me with a blushy smile, and I smile back, too.

“Let it be a surprise then. But don’t be disappointed if it isn’t much.” I inform her just to be safe because this is my first time attempting to take a girl out on a date, and I have no idea how to go about it or where to take her.

And this isn’t even an official date yet.

Don’t get your hopes up, Kook!

“I won’t be. I’m excited now.” Areum giggles when we reach the bus stop and sit down while we wait for the bus to arrive.

“Are you okay going out in our school uniforms? I mean, not that we could change now…” I say pointlessly, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck.

“I’ve never done it before, but I think it’ll be fun.” Her shoulders lift in a shrug as she pulls her jacket snug around herself.

The weather is colder than it has been all week, and it looks like it might even rain a little. I’m only hoping it doesn’t get too bad and ruin our time together. While we wait for the bus, I skim through a mental list of possible places that I could take her to.

Cafés and shopping areas feel like they’re for older people. We could go to the amusement park, but it’s too cold for any outdoor activity. Maybe I could take her to a movie? Would she like that?

Kook, the cinemas are the perfect spot for a kiss.

Shut the fuck up! I can’t do that in such a public space where we’d be surrounded by so many people. No way!

It would be dark. No one would care about you.

Umm? NO!

Somewhere in the midst of the ongoing war between the dark and soft personas within my mind, I decide to take Areum to watch a movie. There are a few good movies playing, and, given that it’s a weekday, I’m sure we’ll be able to reach on time and get tickets for one of those.

We wait for a while, skipping a couple of buses that wouldn’t take us to our desired location. After a few minutes, the right bus arrives, and I take Areum’s card as well to pay the fare for both of us while still keeping our destination a mystery to her.

“Congratulations on the graduation, Jungkook.” Areum says, extending her hand to me for a handshake when I take the seat beside her.

“Thank you, bubba. Congratulations to you, too.” I grab her hand, laughing when she cutely scrunches her nose and throws a punch on my arm.

I don’t let go of her hand, lacing my fingers through hers and holding on. Areum doesn’t mind, too, and she leans back in her seat, relaxing.

“I couldn’t see your mother today. I thought I would spot her somewhere with you.” She opens up casually, and I slowly turn my head to the side to look at her.

“I couldn’t see your parents as well.” I say. “The guys were so excited, and we were actually running around the corridors, splashing water on each other and hooting. Jin-Hyuk and Namjoon were super excited, and it was nearly impossible to escape from them.” I laugh when she chuckles.

In the next ten minutes, we share my airpods and listen to one song, after which the bus arrives at our destination. Areum and I climb out of the bus and cross the road to where the movie theater is. When we get there, I move to stand facing her, staring down into her twinkling eyes.

“Pick a movie, Areum. There’s a show at 5 in two of the screens, and that’s the earliest. We have like fifteen minutes until the show starts.” I announce with a proud smile when I see her eyes going wide with surprise.

“We’re watching a movie? Wow! Okay!” She shakes her fists excitedly and glances up at the display on her right, instantly deciding the movie she wants to watch. “Alienoid. My friends and I were planning on watching it today.” Areum declares excitedly.

“Done. Come on.” I proceeded to buy the tickets for us along with a huge tub of popcorn and some other snacks that I thought looked delicious and that I could afford well within my budget.

I internally thank myself for not returning the extra cash to my mother because that will surely come in handy. I want to spend a lot of time with her, and, if I run out of money, then that would limit our options and it might even mean that we should end our date and return home or probably head to somewhere cheaper like a park.

Areum and I settle in our seats, sharing the snack packs between our laps and placing our drinks on the respective cup holders. We dive into our tub of cheese-flavored popcorn even before the commercials and trailers are finished, and by the time the movie starts playing, we’re almost halfway through the tub. Thanks to me.

She obviously doesn’t have an appetite as big as mine, and I wipe out the nachos, churros and the cheese-seasoning off my fingers in a matter of just a few minutes. I have no idea what I did to feel so starved, but once the imaginary contest of eat-all-you-can is over with just one participant, I move the empty boxes under our seats and sigh in satisfaction.

Areum is completely engrossed in the movie, taking an occasional sip or two out of her soda. I sink into my seat beside her and try to focus on the movie, but it seems a little impossible with her right beside me.

I keep stealing glances at her, feeling the darker voices within me trying to get the better of me.

Is it time for a kiss?

Would anyone really care?

I crane my neck and nervously glance around from my seat, trying to see if there’s anyone inside the theater who’s bothered about us. No one is.

My evil mind smirks in victory.

And the best part is that we have seats close to the wall, with all other seats in the row vacant. So it’s just us, and there’s a couple in the seats in front of us. They don’t seem to have even noticed us, which is a good thing. Everything about this setting feels perfect.

But how do I do it? Should I ask her for it?

But shouldn’t kisses happen naturally?

Gosh! Why is this so hard?

My inexperience pops up awkwardly when I come up with all the worst ideas on how to kiss her. Nothing seems decent enough, and what if she doesn’t actually want it? If she says no, that would be the pinnacle of shame for me.

Look, if you don’t have the guts to ask her for a kiss now, she’s going to think you’re a loser.

Areum wouldn’t think that way.

Says who?

But she’s watching the movie. How can I just ask her now? There isn’t even a kiss happening on screen.

Yeah, come on! It’s Alienoid and not American Pie. Let’s give it up for the aliens!!

What do I do now?

Hold her hand. Just hold her hand!

After mentally shooing away my inner devils, I take a deep breath and wiggle my fingers before I reach out to gently graze Areum’s forearm with my fingers.

So gross! You licked the seasoning right off those fingers just ten minutes ago!

I immediately withdraw my hand, avoiding her eyes and trying to make it seem like an unintended and casual touch that happened by mistake. Making up my mind to not make any more advances until I actually wash my hands, I decide to watch the movie for which I paid.

Throughout the next ten minutes or so, I try my best to convince myself that this is a great movie. But there’s literally no scene that gives me an opportunity to do that, and I sense the same boredom seeping out from Areum when I catch her yawning. Of course she would because this has to be the most boring movie I’ve ever been to. And this is the sequel. I bet the first part must have been even more boring and confusing. I wonder who even comes up with such ideas.

“Areum, can we leave?” I ask, leaning a little closer to her.

“You sure?” She turns to look at me, the illuminated side of her face showing her raised eyebrows.

“Please, I might rot here if we sit any longer watching this.” My tone gives away how terrible the movie has been, and it makes her burst out laughing.

Before we leave, I don’t miss using the restroom to relieve myself and also making sure to wash my hands clean. Dashing out of the exit gates, we laugh non-stop while animatedly discussing some of the iconic scenes in the movie. When we calm down, we take a moment to catch our breaths and then we stand still, looking deep into each other’s eyes.

“Can we have ice cream?” Areum asks, breaking the silence between us.

I agree, smiling and feeling grateful for the time earned with her; the smile mirroring itself on her face.

Happy New Year’s, everyone!
🥳 🎉
I can’t believe 2025 is here already. This is THE YEAR, and we really thought it was so far away.
🥰

Published on : 01/01/2025