⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺
All that you are is all that I’ll ever need.
. ✦ .

Jang-Mi

“What does that mean? Have you not experienced any tastes, ever?” Though I tried not to sound too shocked, my voice still shrieks a little, and I regret it in the next heartbeat.

“Never,” Yoongi confirms calmly. “I can only feel the texture of anything that goes into my mouth, and I have absolutely no sense of taste. And the reason most women stated was that they somehow felt my disability defined me and would end up consuming me. They did not want to deal with that, and I didn’t find it in me to explain anything to any of them.”

My heart sinks somewhere deep into the pit of my stomach upon hearing his confirmation, and a million questions begin mushrooming within my head right away.

How could he still bake such delicacies without being able to taste anything? How does he even have an appetite when he can’t taste anything? What does he feel about this?

I begin wondering if asking him any of this would make me sound like a heartless and inconsiderate person, and I choose to hold back my questions and wait for him to talk more about his condition if he feels comfortable enough to do so.

“Jang-Mi, are you still there?” His voice breaks the silence between us.

“I am. I’m very much still here. Do you want to talk more about it? If not, we can talk about something else. I wouldn’t force you to talk,” my verbal confirmation makes him go silent for a few seconds.

“Ask me anything you want to know, Jang-Mi. I’m comfortable talking about it, and I don’t feel awkward anymore because it’s just who I am. Being unable to detect tastes is just a part of who I am, and it is just like the absence of any other senses like hearing or sight. Just that ageusia is a very rare condition that not many would have heard about. There’s no statistical frequency or proper study about this condition as well, but I’ve only heard that it is extremely rare,” Yoongi educates me about his condition.

“So you’re truly one in a million, and I’m not denying that claim,” I succeed in lightening the mood a little because he giggles at the other end, which makes my shoulders relax.

“I’ve never had anyone say that to me before. But now that you said it, I think it’s true. I am probably one in a million,” he laughs heartily, and I do the same. “But sometimes I do feel depressed about being unable to experience any taste. In my younger years, I struggled with severe eating disorders and lack of appetite because everything I ate felt like some semisolid goo flowing down my throat.” His confession breaks my heart.

“I’m so sorry things have been this way for you. Are you doing better now?”

“I am. I grew out of it and convinced myself that I eat to live healthily and not just to experience the taste of food. The hard part is that I bake every day, and I’ve literally grown up within the walls of a kitchen, but I haven’t tasted anything at all,” he states sadly, making my broken heart crumble within my chest. “It gets a little depressing sometimes, and that’s also the reason I’ve been trying different kinds of therapy to try and get rid of these negative feelings,” Yoongi admits, and I agree, humming.

“Do you follow recipes to the point? How else do you manage to bake everything with such precision without ever tasting them?” I put forward my questions, not quite able to control the curiosity dancing at the tip of my tongue.

“Yes, I have recipes that my grandparents handed down to me. The measurements are to the point, and I don’t alter them. I have an assistant in the kitchen who helps me out when I want to try something new, and whatever I try is based only on my hypothesis of what combinations of flavors would work. My new recipes are constructed heavily based on his inputs and feedback, and without him, I would just be running the same old bakery, selling the same old bread and cakes and cookies,” Yoongi sounds a lot brighter when he talks about his assistant in the kitchen.

“That’s so amazing. Would there be a requirement for another assistant in your kitchen?”

“If it’s going to be you, then yes.” He answers without missing a beat, also making my heart skip a few beats at the same time.

“How do I apply for the job?” I pull a pillow onto my lap and rest my head back on the headboard, the smile on my lips, unwilling to leave yet.

“You’re the chef’s personal pick, so you don’t need to apply for the job. You’ve been selected already. And would it be okay if I paid you with hugs?” Yoongi’s voice turns mischievous and flirty, and I can clearly tell that he’s smiling as well.

“That would be the best payment, and I hope there will be regular pay hikes,” I flirt right back, sounding all too confident and mischievous myself.

“Of course. I’ll make sure you don’t have to ask for pay hikes. And it’ll be great if you can start working right away,” he clears his throat and tries to make that sound like a command.

“Right away sounds perfect. Is your kitchen open at midnight as well?”

“For you, yes.” There’s no end to his flirting, and he seems like a man on a mission tonight whose only mission seems to be making my heart flutter like never before, and he has succeeded with flying colors.

I break into a blush and laugh covering my mouth as I press the phone closer to my ear and draw my legs closer to my chest.

“I can’t believe I’m missing you already,” he states once I’m done laughing.

“I can’t believe it, too. I really miss you, Yoongi,” I open up to him, feeling my smile sinking with a heavy longing.

“You’d better be here tomorrow, or else I might have to close the bakery and think about reopening your daycare center.” He says in all seriousness, making me laugh once again, and this time, he laughs along, too.

“No, I’m serious. I really want to work with you and learn from you. I was serious when I asked you about becoming your assistant in the kitchen,” I clarified, just in case he thought I was just joking or flirting with him.

Well, I was flirting, all right. But I also meant what I said.

“I was serious, too, and I still am. I want to see you every day and be beside you, and I’m already hating it that I have to wait so many more hours until I can see you again,” he sulks cutely, and it totally melts my heart.

“Yoongi, I like you so much. I can’t believe I’ve lost so many years without you, and I wish I could live many more years just hearing you talk like this,” I confess without any hesitation, and I do not regret letting my confession out like that.

Even now, I meant every word of what I said.

“Jang-Mi, you’re making me miss you even more now. Would you mind sending me your address?”

“My address? Now? Are you planning to visit me?”

“Yeah. Right away.” He declares, sounding confident and sure.

“Sir, you have a son who thinks his father is sleeping right beside him.” My words make him sigh helplessly, and it makes me laugh.

“You could come over then. Aren’t you alone at home now?” He is quick to suggest, sounding a little desperate and extremely adorable.

“I am alone, and I wish we were together right now, but let’s wait. I’ll come over tomorrow,” I collect myself together and answer him, my mind desperately clawing on to all my strings of self-control at once.

“Be here at 9. I’ll drop off Ji-Hu and return to the bakery by then. My assistant, Seon-Ho, won’t be here before 10, and we’ll get some time alone,” he explains his plan to me, and I agree immediately.

I feel like a teenager once again, feeling all thrilled to meet him, and making plans like this is causing my heart to flutter wildly. It might be too early to say that I’m falling in love, but if this is how lovable Yoongi is, then I think I might want to plunge headfirst in love right away.

⋅⋆──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆──⋆⋅

Yoongi:
Good morning, gorgeous. Did you sleep well?

I wake up to the dinging of an incoming message from Yoongi, and the feeling of being a teenager once again hasn’t eased out one bit. My reality has turned into a blur, and I wouldn’t at all lie by telling myself that I’m not enjoying this.

Me:
I did (: did you sleep well?

Yoongi:
I did because the last person that was on my mind was you.

His message elicits a chuckle from me, and my heart races seeing how cheesy and flirty his replies are at all times. A man like him who brings out the younger side of a woman and invades her mind to such an extent in such a short span of time could surely be nothing more than a dream come true.

Yoongi is everything anyone could ever ask for.

Me:
I’ll be there at 9, sharp.

Yoongi:
Two hours seem too long. Why isn’t it 9 already? T^T

Me:
Because I’m not there yet

Yoongi:
Jang-Mi, Ji-Hu is up. I’ll be waiting for you

Me:
I’ll be there (:

With that, I toss my phone aside and get out of bed. After a cup of coffee, I make myself a sandwich, eat it in peace, and do the resultant handful of dishes with a smile on my face. While I take care of loading the washing machine and folding the clean laundry, I keep humming a song that’s suddenly stuck in a loop in my head.

This is what it feels like to be happy, and I know this feeling all too well, But I’ve missed feeling this way for such a long time that I can’t even remember the last time I felt so happy and at peace. Everything around me suddenly seems beautiful and bright, and I wish this feeling never ends even though life isn’t always a beautiful rainbow. But I want to make the best of it while this feeling of happiness lasts, and right now, I can’t think of any other way to make it stay than to visit Yoongi as soon as possible.

Deciding on an outfit isn’t as tedious this time, and I quickly pick out my favorite jeans and a top and get dressed after a nice warm shower. I make sure that everything at home is taken care of before I head outside and settle in my car.

Once I begin driving, I place a call to Areum’s phone through the Bluetooth speaker, and she answers right away. She usually answers after a long while or sometimes the call even disconnects, and then she would call me back. But very recently, I’ve noticed how she has been answering calls within a couple of rings, and it tells me that she has been using her phone a lot more than usual. I wouldn’t ask her anything about it, but as her mother, this little change wouldn’t ever escape my watchful eyes.

“Good morning, eomma,” my daughter sounds cheerful, and it makes me smile.

“Morning, bubba. Did you have your breakfast?” I ask her as I stop at a red light.

“I did, eomma. I’m on my way to school now,” she says, sounding all excited.

“Okay, you seem so excited about going to school. Should I be worried?” I chuckle lightly when my daughter laughs at my question.

“Eomma, no need to be worried. I have a lot to tell you when I come back home tonight,” there’s an extra pep in her voice, and it makes my mommy instincts go into overdrive, thinking what could have made her so happy, that most definitely concerns school.

“I’m excited to hear what you have to tell me. I’ll pick you up after school today,” I propose a plan since I’m free these days.

“No, eomma. I’ll take the bus. It’s fun,” she says again, making me mentally confirm that the source of her excitement most definitely has something to do with the bus travel as well.

“Alright, take care, bubba. Stay safe. Can I make something special for you tonight?”

“Kim-Pi-Tang?”

“Mhm, that works. I’m headed to a bakery now. Would you want me to pick something up for you?” I drop just a little hint about what’s new in my life.

“A bakery? Uhm… Get me anything biscoff-based if they have it,” she answers me, giggling.

“Okay, I’ll see what they have,” I give her my word, and soon we end the call.

In about ten minutes, I reach Sweet Tooth, and just when I park my car and head towards the bakery, I notice Yoongi jogging down the road, waving at me.

“Sorry, am I late?” He asks, a little out of breath already as he fishes out the keys from the pocket of his coat and unlocks the door with a bright gummy smile.

“Not at all. I just arrived,” I reply, admiring the way his dark and silky hair shimmers under the rays of the morning sun.

“After you,” he motions for me to enter first, and I do so, after which he enters the bakery and locks the door behind him.

The inside feels so much more warmer than the slightly frosty outdoors, and the aroma of vanilla and coffee beans is undeniably giving this space a more cozy feel. Turning around, I notice that the door sign still states closed, and Yoongi strolls inside to place the keys into a ceramic bowl placed beside the billing counter.

“Are you not opening the bakery now?” My question makes his eyes flicker to meet mine.

“No. Not right away. I want to have you to myself for some time,” he asserts in his deep voice as he holds our gazes and takes a few steps closer to me. “Everything else can wait.”

That firmness in his voice and the lure in his eyes throw me into a state of trance as I stand rooted on the spot, with my eyes dead set on him.

“So, my new assistant… Can I pay you in advance?” Yoongi steps dangerously close to me, dipping his neck a little and tilting his head to the side as he coils an arm around my waist and pulls us closer; our hips flush against one another.

“I’d appreciate that,” I manage to draw out the words in a weak whisper before our bodies collide in a tight embrace.

His hands wrap around me, snuggling me closer to him, and my hands lock around his slender waist while my eyelids fall shut. But my breathing grows heavier, and my heart is not beating at a normal rhythm at all.

I close my eyes and mutter a small prayer to myself that this feeling should last for a long time. The fact that his heart is thumping so hard against mine tells me that he is feeling it deep within his heart, and what we’re sharing isn’t just superficial.

Let me know how you like it so far.
💖

Published on : 12/13/2024