As soon as Germany dismissed the countries after the world meeting, France picked up his notes and approached America and England, who were once again arguing over the correct word for eggplant. America used eggplant, and England used aubergine. France found it flattering, the fact that the Brit's language had so many stolen French words. Though England would deny it mercilessly, twenty eight percent of English was actually French.

"Amèrique! Angleterre!" France called out, stepping in between them as they bickered like an old married couple. The two stopped glaring at each other and looked up at France, who was holding his hotel key card in his hand.

"What?" the two asked simultaneously, looking slightly annoyed that France had interrupted their debate. 

"If you two English-speaking idiots would like to join me in my room I have a few bottles of wine and a lot of time to kill." France suggested, cocking in eyebrow as he waited for a response. Though the three argued like crazy, they did enjoy hanging out with each other. The three could often be found over each other's houses for drinks or movie nights. It was quite a strange relationship, but they always had fun. The only problem was the that the three always forgot to invite Canada.

"I've got nothing better to do. What about you, America?" England responded. 

"I can't." America replied simply.

"Why?" France and England asked in unison, wondering what the hell the American could be doing in the middle of Berlin that was better than getting tipsy with his closest allies. 

"Because." the American shot back, sounding slightly suspicious. 

"Because why?" England pestered, eyebrows furrowed at the shady American who was slowly but surely inching away from the two.

"I have to catch up on some work. Have fun though." America explained, giving a sheepish smile and a wave before turning and quickly walking away from the two. France and England both watched him go, and then turned back to look each other. 

"What the bloody hell was that?" England questioned, eliciting a shrug from France. 

"Maybe he doesn't want to hang out with us in fear that your eyebrows will come off your face and try to eat him." France teased.

"Piss off." England growled, jabbing France in the rib with his elbow. France laughed before checking his watch. 

"It's nearly 8 o'clock. Time for wine!" France exclaimed, gesturing for England to follow him. England took a moment to gather his notes before the two made their way back to the hotel France was staying at. 

~

As soon as the two arrived in France's hotel room they sat down and opened a bottle of wine. Pouring two glasses, France took one for himself and then handed one to England. The two clinked glasses and said their cheers before taking a few sips. Sighing, England set his wine glass down.

"It's so quiet without America. Who's going to chug an entire bottle of wine if he's not here?" the Brit asked, looking slightly dissapointed.

"We don't need America to chug an entire bottle of wine. We can do it ourselves." France responded with a smirk on his face. England furrowed his brow in confusion and Francis got up and got another bottle of wine. Opening it, he took a large swig and swallowed, much to the Brit's surprise. 

"Here, you finish this one." France suggested, handing the previously opened bottle to England. England looked horrified for a moment before shrugging and taking a sip. France cheered him on and the two continued to chug the wine, drowning their boredom in expensive French wine. 

~

A few bottles of wine and an hour later, the two countries were a little drunk. They weren't completely wasted, but they surely weren't sober. The two were giggling like crazy and sharing secrets that they had never told before.

"One time I tried to seduce Italy and Germany threatened to rip out my tongue." France spoke, eliciting a chuckle from England. 

"One time I walked in on those two having 'fun' and I wanted to bleach my eyes for a week afterwards." England admitted, a slight cringe on his face as he remembered the moment he had been repressing for a few months now. 

"Ooo I have a good one! One time I walked in on America getting changed and the poor little virgin nearly had a heart attack." France admitted, laughing before taking another sip of wine. 

"He's not a virgin.." England muttered softly, causing France to spit his wine all over the carpet beneath them. 

"WHAT?!" France yelled, staring at the red-faced Brit with an agape expression. 

"Calm down," England shot back "It was years ago."

"You're telling me you've had sex with America and I haven't?!" France cried, looking defeated as England continued blushing in embarrassment. 

"Is that really all you care about?" England asked, furrowing his brows in annoyance.

 "Yes! I'm the master of seducing people! There's no way in hell you had sex with him before I did! This is not right. I've been trying to get in that prude's pants since he turned 18!" France complained, completely in shock that England had beat him to America's virginity.

"You could never seduce him in a million years. You're way too..France... for him." England teased, smirking in pleasure now that he knew he had beat France at his own game.

"Well we're going to have to change that. He likes me better than you now. I'm sure it'll be easy." France said matter-of-factly, determined to prove himself. 

"I doubt it. He'd have me over you any day." England scoffed, shooting France a mocking smile.

"If you're so convinced he likes you better, let's make a deal. Whoever can seduce America first wins." France spoke, cocking an eyebrow to challenge the Brit.

"No way!" England shot back, horrified at the suggestion.

"Why? Are you scared you're going to lose?" France asked, smiling at the now-infuriated Brit in front of him. France always knew challenging England's bravery would rile him up. There was no way he could deny the challenge now. 

"You are so on." England growled, a determined plastered across his face as he accepted the challenge. France smiled at the Brit's furrowed brow and grimace before setting down his glass of wine. 

"I hope you know there's no way you're going to win this." France remarked, an intimidating smile on his face.

"I've seduced him before and I can seduce him again." England responded, his eyes filled with fiery determination. 

"I was his sugar daddy during the revolutionary war against... who again? Oh yeah, YOU!" France recalled with a laugh. England rolled his eyes at the response and took another sip of wine. 

"The reason why you haven't seduced him is simple, really," England began, "You're just too old."

France scoffed, "You're not that much younger than me Angleterre!" 

"I'm way closer to his age than you are." England replied with a sickly sweet smile. 

"We're countries! Age is just a number!" France exclaimed, standing up from his chair as he defended himself.

"And this is why everyone thinks you're a pervert..." England uttered, laughing to himself as he held his wine glass up to his lips.

"America is of legal age, which means I can do anything I please. Now, please excuse me while I seduce one of your former colonies." France shot back, walking towards the entrance and slipping out the door to go and find America's room. 

"Oh no you don't!" England yelled, swiftly running after him into the hotel hallway. They both knew he was staying in the hotel, they just didn't know which room. The only person who knew which room America was in was Germany, who had booked everyone's hotel rooms for the meeting in Berlin. All France and England knew was that all of the countries were on the same floor.

France quickly knocked on the door across from his room, hoping it was someone who knew which room the American was staying in. Instead, it was a confused Romano, who looked sweaty and a bit disheveled.

"What the hell do you two want?" Romano asked, looking annoyed as the two blonds stood in front of him.

"Do you happen to know which room America is in?" England quickly asked, a desperate look on his face.

"No. Now leave me alone you bastards." Romano growled. 

"Romanooooooo come back to bed!" England and France heard a familiar Spanish voice say from behind Romano. England and France watched on as Romano turned a dark shade of red and quickly the shut the door in their faces. The two blonds shot each other an "oh my god did that actually just happen" kind of look before getting back to their quest to find America. 

After getting over the initial shock of what they had just seen, the two knocked on the door to the left of Spain's. It was a few seconds of waiting before Portugal appeared before the two, a confused look on his face. He was wearing pajamas and had a book in his hand. 

"Do you happen to know where America is?" France asked, not wanting to waste any time small-talking with any of the other countries. Portugal shook his head no and France let out a low, frustrated groan. Portugal gave the two a concerned look before slowly closing his door. He didn't look like he wanted to be disturbed.

England took a second to think before laughing out loud. Germany was so clever! France's room was across from Spain's, and Spain's room was to the right of Portugal's. The rooms were  geographical! The meticulousness of Germany's brain was really showing in his need to put the countries' rooms geographically. It all made so much sense. England smirked at his ability to figure out Germany's pattern and France looked on in confusion.

"What?" France asked, an annoyed look on his face. He had no idea why the Brit was smiling.

"Oh, nothing!" England stated with an innocence smile on his face. There was no way he was telling France about the geography of the rooms. Now all the Brit had to do was find North America. France followed England as he continued down the hall and knocked on a random door. England figured he could narrow down where America's room was by finding countries that were close to him. 

England beamed with pride as Canada opened the door with a confused look on his face. England didn't even bother acknowledging the American's brother as he crossed the hall, knowing exactly where America's room was. Looking up at the number on the door, he rolled his eyes. 

"Of course he's in room 704. Bloody Yankee." England muttered to himself before knocking on the door. Francis quickly followed England across the hall and waited for the American to answer the door. 

"How do you know this is his room?" Francis questioned.

"I'm not an idiot, that's why." England responded in annoyance. After a minute or so of no response, England knocked again. No response. Francis knocked. No response. The two looked at each other in confusion before England noticed the door was slightly ajar. England pushed lightly on the door and the two took a step back in surprise as the door slowly opened, revealing a dark room. The American must've been sleeping. 

"I don't think we should go in. He's probably sleeping." England whispered to France. 

"Wow, I guess you're just ready to lose the challenge then." France responded, eliciting an eye-roll from England. 

"You're the worst." England replied, his competitive nature and slight tipsy-ness taking over his rational thinking. 

"I guess America will have to decide if that's true." France whispered, shooting England a wink before entering the room. England grimaced and quickly followed France into the dark hotel room, closing the door behind them. The two took a few steps in before they were both standing at the foot of the American's bed. 

America was sleeping on his back with a ton of papers around him. It looked like he had fallen asleep while trying to finish some paperwork. His hair was messily covering his face and he was drooling a bit onto a form about economics. England and France couldn't help but think he looked adorable. 

The two continued staring for a moment before they both remembered why they were there. England didn't know what to do, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the fact that America was sleeping and France was also in the room. France, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was doing. 

France quickly took his shirt off and shot England wink. "Watch and learn, Angleterre." he said, a determined look on his face. England watched on with fear and slight curiosity as France climbed onto the bed and cleared the papers off the sheets. America shifted in his sleep a bit but continued to stay asleep as France unbuttoned the button on the American's pants. 

England, slightly uncomfortable watching Francis touch America, quickly intervened, grabbing France's wrist before he could unzip the pants. France looked up at him angrily before shaking England's hand off of his arm. There was no way he was losing this challenge. 

France continued to unzip the American's pants and England quickly shoved him, causing France to fall backwards off the bed onto the ground below. Taking this as his opportunity to seduce the American, England quickly crawled on top of him and leaned down, his face inches from America's. England took a deep breath before connecting their lips and waking the American up.

England pulled away for a moment, watching as the American woke up and groggily rubbed his eyes before opening them in surprise. "England?! What are you doing here!? Why are you on top of me?!" American asked, blushing as he noticed England straddling his waist. England didn't even have the time to respond before France hopped onto the bed, shocking them both. 

"France?! You're here too?! What's going on?!" America questioned, incredibly flustered at the topless Frenchman in front of him and the Englishman who had just kissed him in his sleep. England felt the American harden a bit underneath him so he quickly slid off and sat down onto the bed beside him to save them both the embarrassment. 

"England and I wanted to have a little fun. Just sit back and relax." France explained, his voice sounding slightly seductive as he leaned down and softly placed a kiss on the American's neck. 

"W-what are y-you doing?" America whispered, stuttering a bit as France sucked on the sweet spot of his neck. England's face turned bright red as he felt himself grow slightly aroused. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, England resumed his position on top of the American and grinded against his crotch, eliciting a soft moan from the squirming American. England hadn't seen the American this submissive in his entire life.

France continued kissing the American's neck and America tried to prop himself up, but his attempts were weak. His body was completely giving in to the two men on top of him. France got annoyed at the American's continous squirming and pinned his arms over his head with one hand as he moved his lips from America's neck to his mouth. 

As Francis slipped his tongue into the American's mouth, England began to unbutton America's shirt to reveal his toned torso. England ran his hand down America's chest, eliciting a shiver from the American, before unzipping his pants and pulling them to his knees. The American was wearing American flag boxers, and England snorted at the sight of them. 

America moaned loudly as England palmed him through his boxers, his back arching a bit as he squirmed underneath the Englishman. France pulled back from the American's lips and trailed kisses all the way from his lips down to his v-line, where he was stopped by the waistband of America's boxers.

"Eng-England~" the American groaned, feeling precum escape from the tip of his length as the Brit continued stimulate him through his boxers. England felt America twitch and immediately drew back his hand, wanting to tease him. France smirked at the Brit's cruelness as England rolled off of the American onto the bed. As France pulled down the waistband of America's boxers, England took France's prior position and began to suck on America's collarbone.

France marvelled at the American's length before placing his hand on the base and lowering his head onto the tip, swirling his tongue around a bit before bobbing his head up and down the shaft. The American immediately moaned and England moved his lips to the American's to silence him. America placed his hands by his sides, grasping the sheets as he tried to contain his noises. England removed his own shirt as he continued kissing the squirming American. 

"I-I'm going to c-" the American began, pulling his lips away from England's as he felt the heat rising in his stomach. France immediately removed his mouth from America's member and smirked as he watched the American groan for the second time. The two Europeans could tell they were killing him by teasing him so much. 

"You're going to what?" France asked with a devilish smile, looking over the naked, panting American with a sense of pride.

"F-fuck you." America managed, out of breath from the edging. 

"That's what I was hoping for." France shot back seductively. England had to cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing. It was all so funny to him. Seeing the usually tough and mighty American crumble under their touch was hilarious. He was starting to realize that the American wasn't as tough as he acted. It was kind of... adorable?

Before England could analyze any more of his feelings about the American, he decided to kiss him again. Placing his hands on America's firm chest, the Brit connected their lips and continued to move them in sync with the American's as France slid his own pants off. 

Realizing he was the most-clothed of the trio, England pulled away from the American, slid off the bed, and slipped off his trousers in an attempt to act natural. "Um- h-here." America stammered, flipping onto his stomach as he gestured for England to lay down in front of him. England sat down on the bed in front of America and the American proceeded to slide the Brit's boxers off to reveal his length. 

England leaned back against the headboard in pleasure as America gripped his length and lowered his head onto it, pleasuring the Brit with his warm mouth as France positioned himself at the foot of the bed near America's entrance. England grabbed a fistful of America's hair before  moaning and throwing his head back at the feeling of America's tongue swirling around the tip. 

The American let out a low groan on as he felt France slowly thrust into him. America quickly pulled away from England to let out a few squeaks of pleasure, much to England's surprise. "Mmmfh- fuck." the American whispered as France continued bucking his hips. 

England grew annoyed watching America moan from France's touch and quickly pushed America's mouth back down on his length, continuing what America had started just a few moments prior. America seemed to regain his composure as he bobbed his head up and down.

"A-america~ oh my g-god~ umf- fuck~!" England let out, suprising the two other blonds in the room as he released into America's mouth. The American immediately swallowed and pulled back from the Englishman with a lustful smile on his face. England's face flushed and he leaned down to kiss America before the American let out a loud moan. 

"F-fuck~ France~! I'm going to cum~" America moaned, reaching a hand down to stroke his own length, shuddering as he came all over the white comforter. France finished at the same time and let out a loud sigh, crawling onto the bed to kiss the American. 

England composed himself quicky and slid his boxers back before slipping the dirty comforter off the bed and crawling onto it, cuddling into the American's side with a slight smile. France did the same, and all three stared up at the ceiling, reminiscing on what they had just done. 

"Did we just-" America began

"Yup" England and France said in unison, sighing in disbelief.

 "What happens in this room stays in this room" 

"Agreed."

This is 100% the dirtiest thing I've ever written but for some reason I just couldn't stop???? IDK I saw this picture (the one on this story) and I immediately imagined this scenario and decided to write a one-shot. I really don't like writing smut but it felt obligatory. I just really like the idea of FrUs and UsUk... so why not put them together? Idk! Anyway, Hope you enjoyed. Thank you for reading!

Also this isn't edited at all just warning you - in case none of this makes sense.