Chapter Thirty Seven
After Kiernan left her chambers, the silence settled in around Ondina like a heavy blanket. She lay down, thoughts still spinning from the evening, and drifted into a restless sleep.
In her dream, she found herself standing at the edge of a vast, moonlit lake. The water shimmered under the gentle glow, mirroring her as she looked out across its surface. The air was thick and silent, with a strange tension hanging over the scene.
But as she opened her mouth to sing—to let her voice flow over the lake's surface as it always had—a chill swept over her. Her song, usually so powerful and clear, seemed to falter, the notes slipping away as though pulled from her lips by an unseen force.
Suddenly, the moon's light dimmed, casting the lake into shadows. Ondina looked up, startled, as a figure appeared on the water's surface, cloaked in darkness, its form swirling like smoke.
The figure reached out, stretching long fingers toward her, and a piercing cold crept into her chest. She tried to turn away, to call for help, but her voice was gone—stripped away, as if the very essence of her song had been stolen.
The figure seemed to grow, overshadowing her, and she felt her light—her life—being drawn out, leaving her empty, a mere shadow of herself. The water around her darkened until it was pitch black, swallowing up her reflection, and her connection to the lake, to her song, vanished.
Desperation surged within her, but she could do nothing. The figure loomed closer, whispering words she couldn't understand, pulling her deeper into the void. She fought to stay present, to hold onto herself, but her song had been taken, and she was left hollow, voiceless, alone.
With a start, Ondina jolted awake, her heart racing and beads of sweat on her forehead. She gripped the sheets tightly, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she tried to shake the lingering chill from the dream.
The morning light crept through her window, casting a pale glow across her room, as if reassuring her that she was safe. But the dream's unease clung to her, an ominous reminder of something she couldn't quite understand. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling a strange weight settle on her shoulders, as though the dream had stripped her of more than just sleep.
Today was the day of the ball.
She had always guarded herself so closely, and yet here she was, her mind wandering back to Kiernan's face, to the warmth she felt in his presence, to the laughter they had shared. Somewhere along the way, she realized, her feelings had deepened into something she hadn't planned for—something she hadn't even noticed until now.
The thought scared her. She had survived on her own for so long, protected herself so carefully, and yet with him, she felt her defences slipping. Falling in love was something she hadn't prepared herself for. And now, on the eve of the ball, with everything uncertain, the idea of allowing herself to feel so deeply—to risk caring for him more than she already did—left her conflicted.
After a long moment, she sighed, hugging her arms to herself as if to fend off the sudden chill that crept over her. No, she decided firmly. She couldn't see him, not now. She needed to keep her distance, to give herself space to think, to remind herself of everything that was at stake. She couldn't let her heart cloud her judgment, not now, not on the eve of everything changing.
Caroline finished brushing Ondina's hair, her movements gentle as she adjusted the braid over Ondina's shoulder. Sensing Ondina's pensive expression, she smiled softly and asked, "Shall I tell the staff to keep things quiet for you today?"
Ondina nodded, hesitating for a moment before speaking. "Yes, please, Caroline. And... could you also ask that there be no visitors until the ball? I'd like a bit of time to myself to think."
Caroline's smile faded as understanding crossed her face. She didn't need to ask whom Ondina was referring to. With a slight nod, she whispered, "I'll take care of it, my lady." She left the room quietly, sparing a final glance back at Ondina, who was already gazing out the window, lost in her thoughts.
Caroline found Kiernan pacing impatiently outside his study, glancing up as soon as he heard her approaching. He raised an eyebrow, his expression demanding an explanation.
"Sir," Caroline began carefully, "Lady Ondina has asked that no visitors be sent to her chambers today. She needs some time alone before the ball."
Kiernan's expression darkened, his jaw tightening. "So she doesn't want to see me, is that it?" he asked, a note of bitterness seeping into his voice.
Caroline hesitated, choosing her words carefully. "I believe she simply wants time to prepare herself, sir. Today is important."
But Kiernan didn't seem to be listening. He turned sharply, his frustration simmering beneath his composed expression. Without another word, he strode down the hallway, heading directly for Ondina's chambers, his mind racing. He couldn't stand being kept at arm's length—not now, not today. He had to see her.
As he reached Ondina's door, he hesitated, taking a deep breath to calm his anger. He knocked softly, hoping she would answer, that she'd let him in just long enough for him to understand what she was thinking, why she was pulling away from him on the eve of the event they'd both been waiting for.
"You shouldn't be here," she whispered, opening the door, though her voice lacked conviction. It was the same line she'd told herself countless times, but it had never held any real power over her actions.
Kiernan's lips curled into a slow, knowing smile as he closed the distance between them, his hand reaching out to cup her cheek. The touch was electric, sending a shockwave of heat through her body. "And yet, here I am," he murmured, his voice low and velvety, each word dripping with a dark promise.
Ondina's resolve crumbled as she looked into his eyes, the depth of his gaze pulling her in, drowning her in emotions she couldn't control. She wanted to resist, to push him away and walk back to safety, but the magnetic pull between them was too strong, too overwhelming.
Before she could form another thought, Kiernan's lips were on hers, the kiss starting slow but quickly escalating as the fire that had been smouldering between them finally ignited. Ondina responded with a hunger that surprised her, her hands tangling in his hair as she pulled him closer, desperate to close the distance between them.
Kiernan's arms wrapped around her, his grip possessive as he lifted her off the ground, pressing her back against the wall. The intensity of the kiss deepened, their tongues tangling as if they were trying to consume each other, as if the very air around them wasn't enough to satisfy their need.
Ondina moaned against his mouth, the sound swallowed by his insistent kisses. His hands roamed her body, sliding down her sides, fingers pressing into her hips with a pressure that was both commanding and intoxicating.
"Kiernan," she breathed, breaking the kiss just long enough to gasp his name, her voice trembling with a mix of desire and desperation.
He didn't answer with words. Instead, he dipped his head to her neck, his lips trailing fire along her skin as he kissed and nipped at her throat, her collarbone, the sensitive spot just below her ear.
Ondina's head fell back, her eyes fluttering shut as she surrendered to the overwhelming sensations coursing through her.
Then, the sudden sound of footsteps and a rustling noise shattered the moment. A servant, who had accidentally stumbled upon them, stood frozen in shock. Ondina and Kiernan pulled away immediately, their breaths coming in ragged gasps. Ondina hurriedly adjusted her dishevelled dress, her cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and panic. Kiernan's face, previously filled with desire, was now a mask of surprise and frustration.
The servant, realising the gravity of the situation, quickly averted their gaze and retreated, their footsteps echoing down the hallway.
Once they were alone again, Ondina's mind raced. She turned to Kiernan, her eyes wide and filled with panic. "This wasn't supposed to happen," she said, her voice trembling.
Kiernan's lips curled into a smirk, a glimmer of amusement dancing in his eyes despite the tension of the moment. He took a step closer, his gaze locking onto hers with a mischievous glint. "Oh, but it seemed like you were enjoying it quite a lot," he said, his tone dripping with a mix of charm and provocation.
Ondina's cheeks flushed crimson. "You don't understand," she stammered, her voice filled with frustration and confusion. "This was a mistake. We can't just—"
Kiernan cut her off with a smooth, almost mocking tone. "A mistake, you say." He leaned in slightly, his gaze unwavering. "Your reaction didn't exactly scream 'regret'."
Ondina took a step back, trying to create distance between them. "Kiernan, this isn't a game. You can't just—"
"Not a game?" Kiernan interrupted, raising an eyebrow. "You were the one who pulled me into this. I was just responding to what you were giving me."
Ondina's eyes widened in shock and indignation. "This isn't about what I gave you. This is about boundaries and—"
Kiernan's smirk widened, his gaze never leaving hers. "Boundaries? I seem to recall those becoming rather... flexible just now."
"Stop it!" Ondina's voice was sharp, her panic giving way to anger. "This isn't funny. You need to leave."
Kiernan started to button his shirt with deliberate slowness, his eyes dancing with amusement as he watched her. "Oh, come now, Ondina," he said, his tone light and teasing. "Isn't it a bit late to be so upset?"
Ondina's frustration flared. "You don't get it. This isn't a joke. We can't just—"
"Can't just what?" Kiernan interrupted, arching an eyebrow as he finished fastening the last button. "Can't just admit that you enjoyed it as much as I did?"
Her face flushed with a mix of embarrassment and fury. "You're unbelievable."
"Unbelievable?" Kiernan chuckled, his gaze dropping to her dishevelled appearance before rising back to meet her eyes. "I'm just being honest. It's not my fault you're conflicted."
Ondina's eyes widened in shock. "You think this is all about what I wanted?"
Kiernan shrugged, his smile never faltering. "I think we both wanted something."
"Excuse me?" Ondina echoed, her voice rising with her frustration. "This isn't about something. This is about you disrespecting my boundaries and—"
Kiernan held up a hand, cutting her off with a mockingly serious expression. "Oh, please. If I disrespected your boundaries, you wouldn't have been kissing me back. Don't pretend this is solely my fault."
Ondina took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. "You're not listening to me. I need you to go."
Kiernan paused for a moment, his intense gaze searching hers. Then, with a slow, deliberate movement, he gently took her hands in his. His touch was unexpectedly gentle, his fingers warm against her skin. He leaned in and pressed a long, lingering kiss to her cheek, the softness of his lips in stark contrast to the urgency of their previous moments.
"I don't think leaving you alone is the best idea," he said quietly, his voice carrying a sincere tone that was almost soothing. "Let me stay. I want to make sure you're okay."
Ondina's breath caught in her throat as she felt the warmth of his kiss linger on her skin. His words were unexpected, his usual charm replaced by a gentleness that caught her off guard. Her mind raced, struggling to reconcile the chaos of their encounter with the calm sincerity of his request.
As the silence between them stretched, Ondina's gaze softened, her thoughts drifting through the turbulent emotions they had just navigated. Slowly, a smile began to form on her lips.
Her gaze softened, and a small, reluctant smile tugged at the corners of her lips, surprising even herself. "You're not what I expected," she murmured, almost to herself, her voice tinged with something like wonder.
Kiernan's own expression softened, his gaze never leaving her. "I could say the same about you," he replied, his tone gentle but with an edge of sincerity that made her heart ache. He reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear with a tenderness she hadn't realized he was capable of.
For a moment, they simply looked at each other, the air thick with unspoken words, both of them teetering on the edge of something fragile and precious.
Ondina felt her heart stir, her smile fading as she whispered, "Maybe... maybe just for a little while."
Ondina let Kiernan's hand slip into hers as they stepped quietly into her chambers, the room bathed in the dim glow of moonlight filtering through the window. There, in the quiet intimacy of her space, they lingered, caught in the soft pull between words and silence, each glance more weighted than the last.
Without another word, Kiernan reached up, his fingers tracing a gentle path along her cheek, his gaze searching hers. Ondina felt her breath hitch, her heart pounding as she leaned closer, her barriers dissolving under the warmth of his touch. The quiet felt thick with everything left unsaid, and yet, as they moved together, there was an unspoken trust that filled the space between them.
They shared a smile that held both tenderness and hesitation, as if acknowledging the uncharted ground they were treading. Then, as the door clicked softly shut, the world outside faded to nothing, leaving only them, wrapped in a moment that felt as infinite as it was fleeting.
And in that stillness, they surrendered to the quiet pull between them, leaving everything else behind.
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