Sarge is running towards Blue Base, followed by Grif, Simmons, and Slade.

Sarge: Come on, men! Lopez said Donut went this way!

Grif: Are you sure that's what he said? I don't think pendejo was Spanish for "that way."

Slade: You don't wanna know what he said, mate. Especially since I wanna do the same whole-heartedly.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Inside Blue Base, Caboose is speaking to Donut.

Caboose: Muffin Man!

Donut: Caboose...! I have a message for Church! Wh... where is he?

Caboose: Hey, are you okay?

Donut: Just a little weak. Where's Church?

Caboose: Church? Oh, um. He's not here right now.

Donut: Where is he?

Caboose: Uh, he's um, he... that's kind of, uh, um... (quickly) it turns out he's really a computer program based on some guy who ran the Freelancer project and he went with Agent Washington, he's a Freelancer who destroyed all the AIs that were left.

Donut just stands speechless.

Caboose: Well, almost all. Slade still has his.

Donut: ... How long was I asleep?

Caboose: Not that long.

Donut: (almost out of breath) Listen... I don't know how long... I can stay awake. I need to give someone, on Blue Team, a message. ... I promised.

Caboose: I know people on the Blue Team. People on the inside. You can give it to me.

Donut: Tuck—

Caboose: Tuck! You want me to tuck? What do you want me to tuck? Wait, my mother told me to never tuck anything of anyone else's.

Donut: (faintly) Tucker...

Caboose: Tucker?

Donut: He needs... help. Find him... (slouches over) It's in... the sand... (collapses)

Caboose: It's in this and... this and what? (crouches) Donut, this and what!? What is "this?" What, what, your pocket? Is Tucker in your pocket? ... I remember him being a lot bigger. Tucker! Are you in there?!

South comes into the room.

South: Caboose, what the hell are you y-(sees Donut on the ground) Why is Donut on the floor?

Caboose: Oh, he was trying to tell me about Tucker and I'm trying get him out of his pocket?

South: What? That doesn't-

Sarge: (from outside) Hey! Anybody here? Blues? Where are ya?

Caboose: Tucker! Is that you? Why did you shrink? And why are you talking like a pirate?

Sarge: Hello?

Caboose: Hello! Yes, I hear you!

South: Caboose, stop. It's Sarge that's talking and yelling from outside.

Caboose: (rises) Out? ...ohhh, oh, I see, I thought—hah... man, sometimes I am so dumb. (crouches again) Hold on, Pocket Tucker! Someone outside wants to talk to me! (rises again) Donut, you can rest here as long as you want. You must be tired from all of "this and." And other stuff. (leaves)

Donut: (groaning) No... It's not pink... it's lightish red... hey, Sarge... I should totally get a jetpack... or a motorcycle...

South sighs as she grabs Donut and lies him against the wall in comfortable position. She then joins Caboose outside as he his talking with the Reds.

Caboose: Hi guys. Great to see you—wait. Unless you're here to blow us up. Then... not so great.

South: Hey, Cal. Sanity still in check?

Slade: Love, you have no fuckin' idea how close I am to breaking.

South: (smirks) Well, just let me know if you need any 'pieces' fixed.

Simmons: Can you guys not do this in front of us?

Sarge: We're looking for something we've, err... erm, lost.

Caboose: Is it the keys to your base? I do that a lot. But it's really easy to break in because, there are no doors.

Sarge: No, we're looking for something else. I'm not gonna tell you what it is and give you some kind of advantage.

Caboose: Can you describe it?

Grif: Yeah, it's pink...

Simmons: It's annoying...

Slade: Makes puns about holes...

Sarge: And it's kind of a spring in its step.

Caboose: Ohh. You mean Donut.

Sarge: Ah, yes! Where is he?

Caboose: He's in our base. He'll be staying with us for a little while.

Sarge: You've captured him? Diabolical... What are you doing with him?!

South: Don't worry. He's resting, comfortably.

Grif: Ooh, that sounds ominous. Don't back down now, sir.

Sarge: Give him back!

Caboose: See, there's something he needed to tell me. I'll send him home after that.

Sarge: Squeezing him for information, eh?

Slade: Sarge, I don't think that he's—

Caboose: Hey. No one is squeezing anybody. I was just working with my tools and he—

Sarge: Torture?! You ungodly fiend! He won't give you any info! He'll die before he reveals anything! Hear that, Donut? You'll die before you talk! We all know that, keep up the good work!

South: (to Slade) I see now why you say he's a horrible CO.

Slade: Now?

South: Okay, more so. Happy?

Caboose: Actually, he already told me the beginning part.

Sarge: He told you about our secret new vehicle?! Damn it, Donut, you idiot!

Simmons: Sarge!

Caboose: He told me about "this and."

Sarge: He told you about that and our new hologram chamber!? Donut, put a lid on it!

Simmons: Sarge! (sighs) I'm gonna go sleep under a tree. Come wake me up when the brain summit is over. (leaves)

Slade: Sarge's craziness sinking in yet, cyborg-boy?

Simmons: (in distance) FUCK YOU!

Slade: (groans) I just wish this day would end...

Grif: Are you kidding? I hope this lasts forever. Psst, hey Sarge. Maybe there's a ransom.

Sarge: Good thinking. What is it you want, Blue?

Caboose: What do I want? ...Do you have any cookies?

Sarge: What are your demands? You have to give us your demands.

Caboose: I demand cookies!

Sarge: You're just toying with us! Your depravity knows no bounds!

Grif: Yeah!

Slade: Sarge, Caboose doesn't even bloody know what 'depravity' means!

Caboose: Well, at least I don't go around... knocking on people's non-doors... and promising them cookies... (heads inside) and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES! (pops back out after a moment) I'M! LEAVING! (returns inside)

Sarge: Wait!—

South: I should go back in and make sure he doesn't break anything from the mood your team left him in.

Slade: Call me if he needs Delta, Theta, or Rho's help.

South nods and heads in.

Grif: Hmm. Looks like negotiations have broken down. Should we call in a nuke strike?

Sarge: Negative. We've got a man in there! Well, you know... Donut.

Donut: (from inside) Ow! That hurt!

Sarge: Ow, listen to that! He's killing him in there!!

Inside the base, Caboose is backing off away from Donut, having stepped on him.

Caboose: Oops! Sorry, Donut! Didn't mean to step on your hand like that. Are you okay?

Donut: Wh- what happened? Who was that?

Caboose: Oh, that was your team, they're playing some kind of prank. ... Offering snacks and then not giving snacks...

Donut: I hate when they do that. Who was it?

Caboose: Uh, it was Red Sergeant and Grif. They were working together while Simmons was laying under a tree, being lazy.

Donut: What the...? How long was I asleep this time?

South: (walks in) Few minutes at most. Your team is crazy is pretty much the short version of it.

After a few seconds...

Sarge: Donut! Just don't tell 'em we have Lopez back!

Slade: Oh, for fuck-COME ON, YOU WANKERS!

Grif: OW! Hey, watch the ear!