Chairman: Dear Director. Do your "creative solutions" include the circumvention of the safety protocols that every member of the Military must follow? If they do not, then I fail to see how an enemy has managed to secure not one, but several of your experimental A.I.s. The protocol is not a guideline, dear Director, it is doctrine. And no one is above its rule.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The Warthog that the Meta had previously thrown at Grif halts as it gets stuck between two palm trees.

Church: Oh my God, that guy got fucked up!

Grif: What the hell was that?!

Church: Aw, he lived? That's bullshit.

Church returns to his hiding place.

Sarge: Grif, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, you gotta pay attention in battle! You can't let yourself get distracted by- oh crap, flying jeep.

A flying Warthog, thrown by the Meta, nearly hits Sarge.

Simmons: Run!

Simmons and Sarge retreat, chased by several falling objects.

Church: Well. Guess they're definitely not workin' together.

Washington: Now that he's powered up, he's just killing everything. We're next.

Sarge: Move it or lose it.

Simmons: Yeah come on, scootch, scootch.

Church: Hey. Get out of here, Reds. This is our cover.

Simmons: What is that thing?

Church: You guys remember Tex?

Simmons: Yeheah, the girl who kicked our asses all the time?

Church: Yeah, well, this thing's like, eight of her.

Washington: It must be at full power now. Church, you and the Reds keep it busy. I'm going to help Caboose.

Washington runs off.

Simmons: Did he say keep it busy?

Church: Yeah...

Simmons: How the hell do we do that?

Sarge: Looks like Grif is doing a pretty good job already.

A pile of objects of considerable size and mass, with more arriving regularly, pile on with Grif behind it all.

Grif: Okay I get it! Stop throwing things at me, you fucking jackass!

Sarge: Keep up the good work, Grif!

Grif: Ow! Okay, that could have taken out an eye!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Wash runs up to Cal who had his head being supported by South as Caboose and Kan stood over them.

Washington: Cal. Is he okay?

South: Does he look okay? He got punched across a rooftop.

Caboose: Was it a sunroof?

South: Shut. Up.

Wash places a healing unit next to Cal in order to revive him.

Washington: Church, I'm here with the others. I'm going to keep Cal alive with a healing unit. How are you doing with the Meta?

Church: (over radio) Eheee! We're dying!

Washington: Oh, great.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The Meta throws the Red's Warthog at Grif, while it was playing the Tejano music. It skids past the room they're all cowering in Church, Simmons, and Sarge are hiding in.

Sarge: Hey, come on. We've still got payments left on that thing. You'd better not scratch the paint job.

Wash rips a chain gun off its mount and drops down with South and Kan on either side of him, both with their weapons reloaded.

Washington: Hi. Remember us?

Wash approaches and fires at the Meta with South and Kan, making the Meta slow time, change his armor back to white, and leave.

Washington: (throws the chain gun down in anger) It's gone! Dammit! You idiots, we almost had it!

Simmons: Almost had it? We never even hurt it!

South: HE MEANT BEFORE YOU SHITHEADS SHOWED UP! HE WAS WOUNDED AND YOU GUYS FUCKED UP EVERYTHING!

Sarge: Aw, yeah. You guys looked like you had everything under control before we got here, little missy.

Church: Hey, up yours, Red. I don't see you doing anything heroic.

Simmons: It threw our car at us.

Grif: (walks up) I'm fine by the way, just in case anyone's wondering.

Washington: Well, the three of you are staying with us now. I can't possibly hope to fight the Meta in this state with just Church, Caboose, South, Kan, and ... Cal!

South: (at the same time) Cal!

The group is then crowded around Slade, him still being unconscious.

Church: Wash, what's the verdict?

Washington: I don't know. He seems okay. I think he was knocked out, I just can't get him to come out of it.

Slade: (mumbles) Ughh... must kill them all...

Washington: What's he mumbling?

Church: I can't make it out, but then again it's kind of nice not hearing him yell about shit.

Kan then whacks Church on the back of the head.

Church: OW!

South: Wait, what about Delta and Theta? D! Theta! Are you there?

Kan: It is no use, I have already tried. They are far to busy repairing his mind.

Washington: This makes no sense. All his vitals check out. Why can't they revive him faster? Hey, do you guys know a medic around here by any chance?

The Reds: NO!

Church: Well maybe the Meta did something to him. Like put him in a, uh, coma or somethin'.

South: Why do we need a medic? We've got this asshole's expertise.

Church: Up yours, bitch.

South: (pissed) Come again?

Washington: South, not now. Unless you have a way to see inside his head. Prep him for evac, I'll put in a call to Command and get an extract going. This is Recovery One calling Command. Come in Command...

Washington then wanders off the ramp.

South: While he does that, I'm gonna go look for anything salvageable that'll help us. Come on, Kan.

The pair then heads off, leaving the Reds and Blues.

Simmons: Hey Blue, why don't you do that thing? You know, the thing you do. The ghost thing.

Church: Yeah, this guy doesn't know about that, so I don't really wanna let him know and freak him out. Why don't you go keep him occupied, I'll see what I can do.

Simmons heads up to join Wash.

Simmons: Hey, Agent Washington, I think it turns out we do know a medic after all. But he's really far away. Maybe if we run around this corner right here we'll get better reception.

Church crouches down and leaves his body, then enters Slade's mind.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Church then finds himself in a completely destroyed and desolated area surrounded by fire. Buildings destroyed and giant tentacles.

Church: W-W-What the h-hell?

Delta: Hello, Church.

Church: Delta! Where am I?! Where- what is this is place?!

Delta: Church, I need you to listen to me. We are in a suppressed memory of Agent California.

Church: Suppressed? This memory looks like hell!

Delta: Precisely. Theta and I have been in Agent California's head for some time now and have begun to ascertain that his real memories are dormant and have been kept so by being replaced with false memories.

Church: What are you saying?

Delta: I would advise we take cover.

Delta leads Church behind a chunk of broken building as they then see a green armored man load a double-barrel shotgun.

The man stares at several monsters that roar at him before he charges at them all.

Church turns and tries not to puke at all the gore he watches emanate from the green soldier killing the monsters.

Church: Was that-

Delta: Agent California, yes. I do not believe he is from our universe. I believe he was sent here and found by the Director of Project Freelancer. The Director must have some how implanted false memories and has lied to Agent California.

Suddenly everything around them begins to fade.

Delta: He is becoming conscious again. I must ask that when you return, you say nothing to any of the Agents. Theta and I will tell you all what must be done once we return.

Church: Wait, Delta-

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Church is then back in the real world, looking at Slade's body.

Church: Delta, Delta, wait! What about the Meta, what about-

Grif: Uh, dude?

Church looks up and sees Washington and Simmons staring at him while in ghost form.

Simmons: Yeah, turns out I'm not so good at distracting.

Church: Wash, don't panic, I can explain.

Grif: Yeah, see when Simmons was boring you with random conversation about nerd stuff, he was really just trying to distract you from what the blue guy here was doing.

Sarge: He means explain the fact that he's a ghost.

Grif: Oh, right. Yeah, he can explain that part too.

Sarge: Idiot.