Author::  jn3883

Sayonara

'December 24, the day before the wedding of my twin brother Tsuna and my first love Koharu. To refreshes myself i go outside and stayed on the riverside.

Because of the snow piles and the sun's shine it bringing the beauty of the water that it's crystalize.

I keep my gaze to it. It so beautiful and it making me relax and forget all of my anxieties for a while. I wish it always like this.

But... no matter what I wish the wedding of those two will never stop.

As I enjoying my scenery she suddenly came. I look at her very own face and figure. She's really beautiful no matter what kind of get up she have.'

'Yes, this girl who suddenly came is the girl whom didn't able to reach my voice. Oh how i wish that the time stop from now so she wouldn't have to be my BROTHER's wife. And not even want to mention it is tomorrow.'

'I smirked to her and then I turn once again at the beautiful crystalized lake as I ask her.'

"And what are you doin' here, Koharu? You should be in hotel by now to make preparation for your wedding tomorrow" tell the truth? Yes i admit it those words of mine has hurting me strongly, deeply. And good thing that I'm such actor that it can't be seen on my face. Wow! How long it will take before these feelings leaves me?!

Then suddenly she let out words that made me little confuse

"I'm sorry, Natsu-san!"

I didn't turn or look at her

"Why are apologizing? You didn't do anything to worth my forgiveness..." i said coldly to her

"I'm sorry because i didn't accept your feeling."

And it really shocks me, whose not. She knew that i love her. That my voice DID reached her.

"So you knew, huh..."

"Yes"

"Then may i ask? Why you keep quiet about it? If you know it, then why you did not say anything?"

"Because... I'm such a naive"

"Why you say that?"

"Back then... I thought that you just say that as if I'm just a sister to you, that you love me just as your sister. Nothing else... then just recently i realized that i misinterpreted your words. But it's all late now."

"Yea, it's already late now. Well you didn't have to apologize. Since it's my fault that i not say it clearly..."

Then silence developed on us... when i felt that she going to apologize again i already let out a word...

"Tsuna is a good guy and we know that. And as your big brother I wouldn't let anything or anyone to hurt my siblings..."

I said still not looking at her...

"Anyways, remember Rokudo Mukuro?"

"Yes, is he the guy with odd eyes?"

"Yea he is. Well he give me one ticket to France for the opportunity i been waiting for."

"That's good news... "

"My flight is tomorrow morning... I didn't have to miss it."

"I see. Then be careful and good luck, Natsu-san. Ah right! Before i forgot..."

Then i saw accidentally a gold pocket watch that she hand over me. She really fast at walking, aren't she?

"I know that it's a pocket watch, but why you giving it to me?"

"When i saw this on an antic shop you're the first person that i remembered. So i decided to bought and give it to you as a present."

'And as she saying those words to me, it's like... all of the sudden i saw an image of a woman with red hair and golden eyes. It did surprised me then i heard Koharu voice saying

"Are you alright, Natsu-san?"

Her voice brought me back to reality. Well must be my imagination. Simply i just answered her with a yes then take the golden pocket watch from her hand. Carefully and gently. Then thanked her for it.

"Well... must be we really not for each other, you think."

She nodded sadly to me.

"Well for the last time... congratulation for your wedding tomorrow and thank you for being part of my family and my life, Koharu." Well, normally we must embrace each other for a physical thanks, but Koharu has have very strong and effective physical senses so she might feel my hurt heart that beating slowly as if it want to stop on beating. I have to move from now on or i just hurt myself more.

She again sadly nodded to me and

"Thank you too Natsu-san for everything especially those words of yours. It all did help me a lot and also good luck to your career. Goodbye..."

Then she turns around and starts to walk away from me.

You might be asking me, why I didn't fight her even it is my brother who I against in. It's probably because I don't want to hurt anyone to my family especially my beloved twin brother. Not just as his brother but also his best friend. And I'm just unlucky that my brother is a guy too.

Well enough of this. I have to start a new. Ah yes I didn't mention right? That I have my guitar with me all this time, sorry about that. Anyways I just got a feeling that i want to sing a song right now. So I position my guitar on me and start on playing it.

No matter how much time I spend with you, yeah

My voice still can’t reach you, it vanished into the air again

The contours of your face look so beautiful from the side

I am falling deeper into the darkness that is spreading

Even if you keep saying that we live in different worlds

I will never stop loving you

Someday, surely, we will meet

I can’t help but believe in it

As if the wind brought your words to my ears

On the night when I thought I heard your voice

If, say, we meet in a dream

Shall we arrange to meet up?

I’ll keep waiting for you

Even if you don’t notice it

I want to see your smile

Then, I’d be able to smile too

In this moment, I will gently embrace

Even your sorrowful fate

The playful moon makes you

Dance along with it like a clown, I said

From the side, even though I notice that you are looking down

Sorrowfully, I can’t touch you, as I watch your receding figure

I don’t even know why your tears are falling

There’s nothing I can do except sit here and cry with you

If things go on like this and we never get to meet

Will my feelings fade away?

When I would even envy the rain

That is touching your cheeks

If we meet, yeah, in a dream

Shall we make a promise to each other?

So that you can recognize me

When we meet someday

If you can dance

I’d be able to dance too

I will take your hand

So that you will not trip again

My heart

Wouldn’t stop thumping

Because you are …

so endearing

Even if you keep saying that we live in different worlds

I will never stop loving you

Someday, surely, we will meet

I can’t help but believe in it

As if the wind brought your words to my ears

On the night when I thought I heard your voice

If, say, in this dream

The future does not exist

Then I will stay in the darkness

And pray for your happiness

You smiled to someone else

Did I manage to smile too?

Even if this is a sorrowful fate

I will sing for this one and only love

After of all night bonding with my father and brother with our friends. My stuffs that already prepared for my leaving, I take it and silently get down to our staircase to our door. As I reaching the door knob I heard my father behind me.

"Are you sure, Nuts? You're not going to bid your farewell to your mother and siblings?"

'Nuts, is my nickname to my father. I turn to him with little sad smile on my face.'

"Yes, father and Koharu already know this."

"I learn from her that you are her real..."

"Yes I already know about it too. But it's already late now. And if we make a move to be together, I'm sure that we going to hurt Tsuna. And we both know it."

"Jeez, you two are mature on these things. You know what Nuts, you're just like Shadow."

"Shadow? You mean the character on grandfather's story that Xanxus hated to listened?" My father nodded while folding his arm to his chest.

"Yes he is. You know his story, right."

"Yea clearly. The princess the only person on earth that approached him and the only girl who he loved had married a prince that she not loves at all."

"Do you know that Shadow is the real prince?"

"Yes, but because of his uncle he lost everything and become a traveler."

"Are you going to repeat his mistakes? Letting go the girl he love and didn't fight back?"

"It is necessary, yes. I will."

"But Nuts..."

"It's alright father" then I'm move my hand and thumbs up with one eye close and reassuring smile. "I swear!" I start as I saw my father that waiting for my oath. "That I going to find the girl that just for me and marry her, love her and come back here with our child..."

"Then I'll going to tell it to your mother and siblings. And we will wait for your arrival with your new family. So you better be come back okay!"

I remove my earlier position and nodded to him. Then leave our house...

As I'm in a taxi. 

'Shadow, huh. It's like I'm the both of them, Princess Akane and Shadow.'

"Well same fate, huh." I thought

I've finished the requirements on airport so i can leave and go to France.

It's really hurt, you know. But i really need to move on or like i said i just going to hurt myself more.

Well this is it...

And once again...

I Natsu Hoshi Sawada, 19 yrs. old. And i will start to move on from now on. And I'll be...

Signing off....

The End