Chapter 1: Why Are We Heroes...??

On top of build, Dexter Grif aka Orange Spider and Richard "Dick" Simmons aka Maroon Spider were standing on top of the building seemingly on sentry duty.

Simmons: Hey.

Grif: Yeah?

Simmons: You ever wonder why we're here?

Grif: It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.

Both stare at each other in silence.

Simmons: ...What?! I mean why are we out here, That we're hero..??

Grif: Oh. Uh... yeah.

Simmons: What was all that stuff about God?

Grif: Uh...hm? Nothing.

Simmons: You wanna talk about it?

Grif: No.

Simmons: You sure?

Grif: Yeah.

Simmons: Seriously though, why are we out here? As far as I can tell, ever since we had that experimental accident seen all of us including those blue bastards also have spider powers..

Grif: and yet here we are just doing absolutely fucking nothing, just to wait for something to happen..

Grif: Yeah, it's like we're just waiting around for something to happen. Like, what if nothing happens? What if we never have to use our powers for anything?

Simmons: Well, I guess that's the thing about being a hero, isn't it? You never know when you'll have to step up and do something. But you have to be ready for it.

Grif: Yeah, but what if we suck at it? I mean, look at those blue bastards over there. Church and Caboose, they're like, all prepared for this hero shit. And Tucker, he's just gonna use his powers to hit on girls.

Simmons: Well, we'll never know if we don't try, will we?

Grif: I guess not. I just hope we don't screw up and get someone killed or something.

Simmons: Hey, we're not gonna screw up. We're the Red Team, remember? We've got this.

Grif: Yeah, we do, don't we? Alright, let's go kick some ass and take some names.

The two heroes high-five each other and jump down from the building, ready to face whatever challenges come their way. Little do they know, their Blue Team counterparts are watching them from across the street.

Leonard Church aka Cobalt Spider and the leader of the blue spiders or blue team, Lavernius Blyndeff Tucker aka Aquamarine Spider Church second in command of blue spiders including a ladies man however he never did get any chicks that always liked to reject.

Tucker: What're they doing?

Church: (aggravated) What?

Tucker: I said, What are they doing now?

Church: (frustrated) God damn, I'm getting so sick of answering that question!

Tucker: (defensively) it's not my fault that your suit and mass is equipped with a special zoom in lens while I'm just sitting here just playing with my dick!!

Church: (interrupting) Okay, okay, look... they're just standing there and talking, okay? (getting angry) That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, "What are they doing?" my answer's gonna be, "They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there!"

Both fall silent.

Tucker: ...What're they talking about?

Church: ...You know what? I fucking hate you.

back to Grif and Simmons.

Grif: Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there fighting against supervillains!!

Simmons: and what join with many of the famous Heroes such as the Avengers. The Fantastic Four and the X-Men...??

Grif: of course they wouldn't allow a group of people like us to actually mess things up not to mention that one incident with you to Stark Expo showing your newest invention only for it to explode in front of everybody!!

Simmons:  look I was just trying to show the people how the new energy sources such as Quantum energy could be the next step in solving power problems!! besides I did admire Stark as one of the greatest had developed a science!!

Grif: of course you would you kissass!!

Simmons: (rolling his eyes) I'm not a kissass; I'm just acknowledging genius when I see it. 

Grif: Genius? Is that what you call a guy who makes a suit that can do everything but keep him from blowing up his own showcase? 

Simmons: It was a minor setback! Besides, we have powers now. We should be using them instead of standing around.

Grif: Yeah, like we're gonna make a difference. What if we just end up in the wrong place at the wrong time? 

Simmons: Well, if we're equipped to handle it, then we should be the ones facing the threats. 

Grif: (grinning) You mean face-planting into them? 

Simmons: (Defensive) I'm serious! 

Grif and Simmons for both to be interrupted to look down to see a bunch of screaming crowds for a military chief known as a warthog with the leader of the red spiders or red known as 

Sarge Samsung Wilson aka Crimson Spider driving the warthog crazy only for it to stop only for one of the civilians. That is a male angrily walked up to the leader of the red spiders. 

Male civilian: (angrily) What are you--

Only for Sarge Samsung Wilson/Crimson Spider pointing a shotgun making everybody shut up, as he looked up directly at where Simmons/Maroon Spider and Grif/Orange Spider.

Sarge: Ladies, front and center on the double!

Simmons: Fuck.

Grif: Yes, sir!

They both watch as Sarge Samsung Wilson, aka Crimson Spider, stands there like a military general, shotgun in hand, while civilians scatter away from the warthog he had been driving like a maniac.

Sarge: (barking orders) I said front and center! You two are my backup, not my audience! 

Simmons: (rolling his eyes) Yes, because nothing screams "hero" like commandeering a military vehicle and scaring civilians.

Grif: (snickering) At least he's keeping it exciting! I mean, come on! 

Sarge: (pointing at Grif) You got something to say, Orange? 

Grif: (raising his hands defensively) Just that you're a great driver! 

Sarge: (smirking) Damn right I am. Now get down here!

With reluctance, Simmons and Grif make their way down to join Sarge. As they approach, they hear the commotion of the crowd.

Simmons: (glancing at the civilians) What's going on? 

Sarge: (grinning) Just giving them a little motivation. You know, keeping morale up! 

Grif: (snorts) By scaring the hell out of them? Sounds effective.

Sarge: (ignoring Grif) We've got reports of some goons causing trouble downtown.. wish I was able to hijack the radio system from the police!!

Simmons: (shocked and surprised) Sarge, did you just hijack checked a radio system from the police!?

Grif: My God.. and I thought that was the most idiotic thing ever...

Sarge: (grinning broadly) Idiotic? No, no, my friends, that's called tactical improvisation! It's part of the job!

Grif: (facepalming) You do realize that's illegal, right?

Sarge: (waving his shotgun dismissively) Pfft, what's a little law-breaking between heroes? We're saving lives here!

Simmons: (sarcastically) Right, because nothing screams "hero" like commandeering police equipment and frightening civilians.

Sarge: (ignoring Simmons) Now, here's the plan. We're going to roll into downtown, take out those goons, and show everyone why the Red Team is the best team!

Grif: (raising an eyebrow) And how exactly are we supposed to do that? By running them over with a warthog?

Sarge: (pointing the shotgun dramatically) Exactly! Wait, no—*shaking his head* Well, sort of. I mean, we can't just run them over; it's about the element of surprise!

Simmons: (sighing) You know what? I'm not even going to question it. Let's just get this over with.

Grif: (grinning) I kind of want to see how this plays out.

Sarge: (climbing into the warthog) Then hop in, ladies! We've got a city to save and a bunch of idiots to show how it's done!

As they pile into the warthog, Grif makes himself comfortable in the back, while Simmons sits up front next to Sarge.

Grif: (leaning back) So, if this goes horribly wrong, can we at least say we had fun?

Simmons: (rolling his eyes) I guess that's one way to look at it.

Sarge: (revving the engine) Alright! Hold on tight, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

With a roar, Sarge guns the engine and they speed off down the street, causing a few more civilians to dive for cover as they zoom past.

Meanwhile, across the street, Cobalt Spider (Church) and Aquamarine Spider (Tucker) watch the Red Team's antics unfold.

Aquamarine Spider (Tucker): They're really doing it again? These guys never change.

Cobalt Spider (Church): (sighs) No, they're not. I can't believe they're using a warthog to try and take out the villains.

Aquamarine Spider (Tucker): So, what should we do? Just let them go ahead and mess everything up?

Cobalt Spider (Church): No, we can't just do nothing. We have a responsibility to stop them.

Aquamarine Spider (Tucker): (smirking) Or we could just wait for them to screw up and then swoop in and save the day. That's what heroes do, right?

Cobalt Spider (Church): (groans) No, that's not what heroes do. We're supposed to be the good guys, not just sitting around making fun of them.

Aquamarine Spider (Tucker): (pouting) Aw, come on, Church. It's not like they're doing anything wrong. They're just having fun, right?

Cobalt Spider (Church): (shaking his head) No, they're not. They're reckless and irresponsible. They're putting innocent people in danger, and we have a duty to stop them.

Aquamarine Spider (Tucker): (sighs) Fine, fine. We'll stop them. But can we at least make sure they look bad in the process?

Cobalt Spider (Church): (smirking) As long as they get the message, I don't care who gets the credit.

With that, the Blue Team sets off to intercept the Red Team, determined to stop them from making any more messes in the city.

Back in the warthog, Grif and Simmons watch as the Blue Team speeds up beside them.

Simmons: (pointing) They're coming up on the left!

Grif: (grinning) Well, what do we have here? Looks like the Blue Team's about to crash our party.

Simmons: (groans) Just great. Now we've got two teams of idiots trying to save the day at once.

Sarge: (grinning) Well, let's give 'em a show, ladies. They won't know what hit 'em.

As the two teams approach the villains, they crash into each other, causing a huge collision that sends debris flying everywhere.

Simmons: (yelling) What the hell, Sarge? We could have been killed!

Sarge: (laughing) That's the spirit! Now let's go show these villains what it means to mess with the wrong team!

Grif: (groaning) I can't believe I'm doing this.

Simmons: (groans) Just stay out of the way and let me handle this.

The two teams leap into action, engaging the villains in a chaotic battle that sees them crashing through buildings and sending cars flying.

As the dust settles, it's clear that both teams have taken heavy damage, but the villains are defeated.

Sarge: (panting) Well, that was something.

Simmons: (groans) Are you insane? We just destroyed half the city!

Grif: (grinning) But we saved the day, right?

Sarge: (smirking) That's what counts. Now let's go see what the Blue Team's up to.

As they walk away, the Blue Team members watch them with a mixture of annoyance and grudging respect.

Cobalt Spider (Church): (sighs) I guess we did good, even if it wasn't how I wanted to do it.

Aquamarine Spider (Tucker): (smirking) They did make it exciting, I'll give them that. But next time, let's actually do it right, okay?

Cobalt Spider (Church): (nods) Agreed. We can't let them keep running around like that, causing chaos.

Familiar voice: oh really? Because you and red team are in so much trouble!!

As both Cobalt Spider (Church) and Aquamarine Spider (Tucker) turned around slowly to see a furious Hill part of Shield amongside a group of Shield agents. 

Aquamarine Spider (Tucker): Hey beautiful how are you--

Maria Hill: You shut the fucked both of you amongst that red are coming back to the helicarrier!!

Cobalt Spider (Church): Oh fuck, my life!!

As both Cobalt Spider (Church) and Aquamarine Spider (Tucker) slowly entered The Shield jet with Maria Hill and many The Shield agents taking them to hella carrier with a second Shield jet that also had the red spiders.